


Shadowhunters: The Ever Chronicles

by NoapologiesNoexcusesNoregrets



Series: Everlyna [1]
Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - This World Inverted (Shadowhunters TV), Alternate Universe - Twins, Comedy, Dark Comedy, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Funny, Hilarious, M/M, Multi, Teen Romance, Tragic Romance, crack!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2018-07-16 01:06:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 131,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7246027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoapologiesNoexcusesNoregrets/pseuds/NoapologiesNoexcusesNoregrets
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everlyna Fray knew there was a world beyond the one she lived in, because her Mom is terrible at hiding things. But what she could not have known was how much her existence would impact on that world. Or the people who are already a part of it.</p><p>One night Ever runs into a boy who changes everything. He's hot and on the good side of badass. Unfortunately he's also a grade level one douchnozzle who Ever wants to kick in the face. Repeatedly. Or maybe make out with. Both?</p><p>Ever meets another boy, this one is a blue eyed dream boat, with the attitude of a pissed off hedgehog. Good thing Ever likes a challenge and sees past the mask. She finds herself making a connection with him that goes beyond anything she thought possible.</p><p>Along with her best friend Simon, the one person who knows her better than anyone, she will attempt to solve the mysteries of the Shadow world, and maybe, possibly, save it.</p><p>Come hell or high water Ever will do whatever it takes to protect the people she loves, and nothing, not demon-buttheads, vampy people, fluffy things, tooth fairies, stony Shadowpuppets, or hot guys are gonna stop her.</p><p>Read this story....if you think you're mad enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. That Weird Cup

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do NOT own Shadowhunters. Or The Mortal Instruments. The only thing I own in this fic is my character 'Ever'.
> 
> Hello everyone! Right so, I just wanted to make sure everyone knows that this fic is based off of the show Shadowhunters (The Mortal Instruments). I've read the books by Cassandra Clare, and I've thought about doing a Shadowhunter fic for a while. But then the show came out and it's...well it's pretty awful. No disrespect to anyone who likes it, and I'm not saying I hate it, I just don't know how to feel about the show yet. So I thought this was the perfect chance to start a Shadowhunter world fic. 
> 
> This fic will be mostly for crack purposes. I will throw in some drama and angst, because that's how I roll. But 'the funny' is my main thing here. I ask you to please give this fic a try, whether you've watched the show or not, since I'll be starting right from the beginning anyway. 
> 
> My main character 'Ever' is in quite a few of my other fics, so please, if you have time and you like her, check those out as well. x
> 
> Warnings: M/F, M/M/, F/F. (Everyone in my fic is bisexual. I like having the freedom to pair whoever I want without having to worry about sex or gender). Violence. Bad language. Sexual situations. Anything else and I'll let you know about it later, I promise.
> 
> Ok then, on with the fic my unicorn brethren!

"Touch my brownie and I will end you. In the face." I say, pointing my fork at Simon threateningly.

He shakes his head at me, big brown eyes wide with innocence. The little liar, I saw him checking out my chocolatey goodness, and I shall not be sugar robbed by my best friend.

"That doesn't even make sense," Simon says, like he thinks I care what makes sense. It's like he doesn't even know me.

I put the fork down and point a finger at my face,

"You see this? This is the expression of someone who had a really hard day at work where she was felt up by an old woman, twice, got shouted at for stacking books on shelves at the WRONG ANGLE, and was then jabbed half to death by three different children with their obnoxiously spiky toys. I mean seriously, why do spaceships or cars need so many sharp edges? What's so wrong with cuddly teddy bears? When I was a kid I had one teddy bear and that was all I needed toy-wise."

"Yeah, these kids today...how dare they want more than one toy!" Simon nods seriously at me, he smacks the table, causing his coffee cup to almost spill over. Dork.

I throw a small packet of brown sugar at him, which hits him square in the face,

"Anyway, so my day sucked ass, therefore I need my chocolate brownie fix. You will not take it from me, Si. I will battle you to the death, I swear to God."

Simon picks up the packet of sugar and throws it right back at me. It lands inside my cup of tea. Tea splashes everywhere. Simon grimaces and I shake my head him.

"Fail, Si, epic fail."

"Your _face_ is an epic fail." Simon mutters, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

I smirk at him and say,

"Like for real though, that was just monumentally terrible. I don't think you'll ever be able to show your face in here again. Personally, I would move. Maybe to Mexico."

"I'm not moving to Mexico." Simon replies, all pouty-like.

I snap my fingers and put on a mock 'eureka' expression,

"You're right, Mexico isn't far enough. People might still hear about the epic fail that just occurred. You could try...Scotland. Or Poland. Or Narnia."

Simon pulls that face he always pulls when he's trying to think of a really great comeback. His lips kind of purse, and his eyes glaze over just a little bit. It's sad. I really do feel for him. But we've been best friends for...well pretty much ever since I can remember, so I reserve the right to tease him into oblivion without any guilt weighing down on my conscience.

"If I move to Narnia then you're coming with me. I am not facing Aslan alone." Simon finally comes back with. See, so sad.

I pick up a napkin and start wiping up the sloshed tea. Luckily none of it got on my clothes. Tea stains can be a bitch to get out, especially if it's the real deal stuff. There have been many times when I've damned my need for high market tea when I've spilt it on my clothes or my bedsheets. But I refuse to drink any of that swill sold by most cafes around here. So, yeah, I'm a tea snob. Whatever.

"I'm not taking on Aslan to defend your honour Si. If that lion wants to eat you, then I'm afraid you're just going to have to accept your fate." I rip off a bit of brownie, completely discarding the fork this time, and shove it into my mouth with absolutely no thought to appearing in any way lady-like.

I'll act like a human tomorrow. Right now I just want to scoff my brownie.

"Who says I won't be the one defending _your_ honour?" Simon argues. He takes a drink from his way too big coffee cup and watches me over the rim.

I chew and swallow another bite of brownie before answering,

"Uh, because I'm genuinely lovable, Aslan would adore me. I wouldn't need defending. And even if I did, I wouldn't ask you."

Simon looks offended. I have no idea why since this is an extremely hypothetical conversation we're having.

"Why not? I could totally take on Aslan."

I snort out a laugh, unable to help myself.

"May I please direct you to the epic fail of five minutes ago as example A of why you so completely could **_not_** take on Aslan."

"You're mean today." Simon complains, his nose scrunching up in mild annoyance. I know he's not actually annoyed though, because he taps his glasses when he gets really pissy.

"Suck it up and deal princess." I say, not bothering to hide my grin.

Hanging out with Simon always makes me feel less shitty even when I've had a really shittastic day. He makes me smile, no matter what. It's like his super power, and I love him for it.

" _Princess_? That's a new one." Simon frowns, mouthing the word 'princess' to himself a few times.

"Suits you, I think." I reply.

Simon opens his mouth to say something, but just then I see my sister over his shoulder. Her eyes immediately latch onto us and I raise a hand to wave her over. Simon turns in his seat and smiles at Clary. She doesn't smile back, in fact she looks a little mopey. I wince inwardly. She had her interview for the Brooklyn Academy of Art college today.

I hope it went better than her face is telling me...wait...hold on...I see the corners of her mouth twitch. Ah, so this little charade is for Simon's benefit. Nice. Relief swamps me. My twin is so down on herself about her art, I didn't want her to completely lose faith in her abilities if that Fine Arts place put her down.

Clary comes up to the table and sits down next to Simon. Her eyes are downcast and she's fumbling with her fingers. Simon completely falls for it, no great shock there, and says,

"Give me the professors names' and I will end them."

Clary and I both give Simon sceptical looks and he clarifies,

"With a strongly worded letter to the Dean, of course."

I hide another smirk, whilst Clary gives a slight huff and says,

"Don't bother."

"Yeah, Si, Jesus, just let it go," I say, giving Simon a mock slap on his arm, "You're so scary when you get all protective."

Clary rolls her eyes, but Simon puffs his chest and drawls in his best fake douchecanoe voice,

"I take care of what's mine, ladies."

I almost choke on my piece of brownie. I have to grip onto the table and cough for a few seconds. My damn eyes water. I point at him and say in _my_ best douchegirl voice,

"OMG, babe, that is so, like, legit raditude right there."

" _Totally_." Simon and I say at the same time, and we double fist bump.

Clary makes sound a lot like a heavy sigh and we both turn our attention back to my, clearly, evil twin. She slides a folded piece of paper onto the table and Simon picks it up. He scans what looks from over here like a letter. Most likely an acceptance letter if the grin on Simon's face is anything to go by.

"What?" He looks at Clary, "Sad face? Really?"

"Yeah, Clare, really?" I tease. Clary pokes her tongue out at me. I give her a two finger salute. All is right with the world.

"It's kind of weird," Clary says, motioning at the letter, "They sorta like my assigned work, but they flipped out over the drawings Ever and me played around with for our graphic novel."

"What like, the symbols and stuff?" I ask, my brow furrowing.

Clary nods at me,

"Pretty much, yeah."

Woah, that is strange. Those drawings were just for fun. I'm not even an artist like Clary, my skills edge more towards words than pictures. I'm a bookworm to the extreme, and a writer. Clary is the artsy twin between the two of us. But those drawings...I just couldn't get them out of my head. It was mega weird. I felt like I just had to purge them from my brain or they'd fester there like small wounds on my psyche.

I know that the symbols are Shadowhunter runes. My sister doesn't though. Our mother tried to keep the secret of what we are from us, and she half succeeded. Clary has no idea about Shadowhunters and Demons and all the other supernatural bullshit. To be honest, I'm not exactly an expert. But years ago I found some of our Mom's old stuff. Books and objects with runes all over them. It was completely by chance that I found it.

I read the books Mom had in our attic, and they told me a few things. But eventually I took everything I knew to my mother. She tried to convince me that it was all one big joke. Not real at all. But I couldn't believe her. Looking at all those runes...I knew they meant something. I could feel it in my gut, and I was taught never to ignore those kinds of bone deep feelings.

I pretended to believe my Mom, because I knew she needed me to pretend. I figure when she's ready, she'll tell me and Clary everything. I trust my mother enough to let her decide when the right time will be.

Clary shrugs and leans forward on the table,

"Anyway, this will officially go down in history as the best 18th birthday I ever had."

I raise an eyebrow and say,

"As appose to all the _other_ 18th birthdays we'll be having. Sure, sure."

Clary flashes me a look of doom,

"Shut up, Ever."

I place a hand over my heart,

"I was _agreeing_ with you. God, you're so emotional sometimes."

Clary balls up a napkin and throws it at me. It hits my forehead and then falls to the table top.

I dart my eyes between Simon and the wadded napkin.

"See, now _that's_ how you throw something at a person who's sitting two feet away from you."

Clary looks between us questioningly.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Simon says, refusing to meet my eyes.

I blow out a breathe,

"Denial. So sad."

...

"Thanks for being our roadie," Maureen says as we all amble off back to Simon's van to pack their stuff away.

"No problem boss," I wink at Maureen. She rolls her eyes good naturedly.

I have sort of a weird relationship with Maureen. I've got the feeling ever since we met that she's doesn't like me much. I have no real idea why. I know why she might not like Clary, since Mauren so clearly wuvs Simon and Simon even more so clearly wuvs Clary.

To be fair I have no idea what's holding Simon back from telling Clary about his 'epic feels' for her. She'd probably date him. I mean, why wouldn't she? Simon is hot, funny and surprisingly clever about most things. There's not much to **_dis_** like about Simon. He's an all around great guy. But then, my sister can be kind of flaky, which is why she's never worked it out for herself how Simon feels.

There's no way I'm gonna be the one to tell her. That's for Simon to decide, not me. If he wants to pine forever, then that's his right. However stupid I think it is for him to do that.

My mind is more focused on the way Mum was acting earlier. I think maybe tonight was going to be the night when she finally told us the truth about Shadowhunters. I tried to convince Clary to stay, but my sister wanted to go out to Simon's gig, and I figured it could wait one more night. Even though I'm definitely dying with curiosity.

Simon suddenly whips off his shirt to change and I slap a hand over my eyes,

"Ah, Si, my eyes, they BURN!"

Clary and Maureen both laugh. Simon turns to me and says,

"Are you dissing my naked male physic right now?"

I push his naked chest. It's not a bad chest by any means. For years Simon was the scrawny nerd in school, but in the last few years he's filled out quite nicely. Not that I'm ever gonna tell him that.

"Cover up your show of public indecency right now! Think of the children!" I say dramatically.

"What children?" Simon asks, looking around as if he might actually see some five year olds lingering outside a nightclub.

I scoff at him,

"I meant metaphorically."

"You meant _metaphorical_ children," Simon says slowly."Riiiight."

"Well when you say it like that, it sounds stupid."

"It is stupid."

"Your face is stupid."

"Ok, ok," Clary interrupts, she thrusts a hand between us. "That's enough you two. You're like one second away from pulling on each others hair."

"I would never touch Simon's hair," I argue, reaching up to wave my hand around over Simon's dark hair, "I'm afraid my hand would never come out of those curls alive, what with all the chemicals going on up there."

"Right, that's it," Simon says decisively, he comes at me then and picks me up. His practically throws me over his shoulder and I let out a pathetic shriek. He spins around a few times, and I quickly get dizzy.

"Put me down, or I will call my lawyer!" I struggle in his hold. But he's a lot stronger than he looks.

Simon just tightens his grip and says,

"You don't have a lawyer."

"Yes, I do," I slap Simon's back, "His name is Kevin thank you very much."

Simon snorts in disbelief,

"That's the name of the wooden bat you keep under your bed."

Kevin is my sidekick in all things.

I smack Simon's back again, and this time he lets out a grunt of pain. Good.

"Yeah, so?"

"So? I thought he was your sidekick, not your lawyer," Simon says.

"What, suddenly a bat can't have a full time job **_and_** a hobby? God, Si, you are so batist."

"That is **_not_** a thing!"

"Says you. The naked bataphobe who kidnaps young women. You even have a van, which already makes you creepy on principle."

People are starting to stare because I'm full on shouting at him now.

"I've hardly _kidnapped_ you!" Simon shouts back, "I really haven't kidnapped her," He says more quietly to a couple of people who are walking past and gawking. What, they've never seen anyone get picked up by a half naked teenage boy before? I find that hard to believe. I mean who hasn't seen that these days?

"You're both being insane again." Clary tells us, she's shifting around looking uncomfortable and awkward. Although that's pretty much my sisters default setting most of the time.

Simon finally puts me down, reluctantly. But he pokes my nose and says,

"This is not over."

I poke his cheek and reply,

"Bring it, dorkzilla."

"Can you ever just be normal for a few minutes?" Clary complains to me, her expression one of exasperation. I'm used to getting that look from her by now though.

"Depends. How many minutes are we talking?" I lean against the van and eye Clary.

Clary groans at me,

"You are _impossible_."

I laugh at the disapproval on her face and take a few steps backwards from the van. Out of nowhere a random guy charges right into me. I spin around and call out to him,

"Hey, douchnozzle, mind not ramming into me next time?"

The douchnozzle in question turns to face me again and takes a few slightly threatening steps forward. He's blond, built and hot as fuck. But a douchnozzle is a douchnozzle in my book, no matter what he looks like on the outside.

Blondy gives me a once over, but his vibrant blue eyes catch mine, and the intensity in his gaze makes my heart beat stutter. Weird. And not at all welcome.

"You can see me." Blondie says in a deep voice.

It's the very real surprise in his voice that forces me to actually pay attention to this guy. It's then that I notice the symbols on his skin. They look a hell of a lot like the runes I found back at home in our attic. More weirdness.

"And the award for the most obvious observation of the night goes to...wait, what was your name?" I narrow my eyes at him.

"You have the sight." Blondie says without answering my question.

"And _you_ have a penchant for making random statements that don't make sense."

"How can I not know who you are?" Blondie completely ignores what I've said again. Rude. That's two strikes already.

Blondie continues to stare at me intensely. In fact I begin to feel a little bit bared by having that much attention focused on me.

I try asking him again,

"Who **_are_** you?"

 _What are you?_ My mind whispers.

Blondie opens his mouth to speak, but he's interrupted by another male voice calling out,

 ** _"Jace."_** That appears to knock some sense into Blondie, or quite possibly 'Jace'. Before I can say anything else, the strange man runs off towards the club, Pandemonium.

I stare after him for a couple of seconds, at first contemplating running after him. But I discard that thought quickly. Even if he is what I think he is, what exactly am I going to say? 'Hey, my name's Ever Fray, are you a Shadowhunter who hunts demons? I think maybe my Mom was one.'

Yeah, because _that_ would go well. I would sound ridiculous. _And_ insane. Even more so than usual.

Eventually I look away and move back over to the van, only to see Maureen and Simon staring at me like they think I'm crazy. Clary just frowns and asks,

"What was that blond guy's problem?"

I ignore the looks from Simon and Maureen, and shrug at Clary,

"I dunno. Maybe he's high already."

"Like that's inevitable," Clary rolls her eyes.

"It is if you live in this part of town," I reply, giving the outside of the Pandemonium a sceptical look.

"Who were you talking to?" Simon asks, his eyebrows raised.

"She was talking to the blond guy who bumped into her." Clary says, with a touch of 'duh' to her tone.

"There was nobody there," Maureen says to Clary.

"What? Yeah there was." Clary pulls a face, looking a bit annoyed.

That just proves it then. If Simon and Maureen can't see him...then he's got to be...

Right, that's it, screw sounding ridiculous, I need to get me some answers.

"Um, guys...I'm gonna go into the club." I say distractedly, already moving away from Clary, Simon and Maureen.

They try calling after me, but my complete focus is on the club and the picture in my head of 'Jace' and those runes on his skin. I mean what are the chances of me actually running into a Shadowhunter? I literally have no idea. There might be loads of them for all I know, the books I read didn't say much about that side of things.

Luckily I decided to wear the black punk-style dress that Dot got me for my birthday, so at least I sort of look like I belong inside a club.

Once I get inside the club I search for Blondie. It doesn't take me long to find him. He's got the kind of face that sticks out, even in a place like this. I ignore all the dancing, drunk, drugged up people and move across the room to follow after Blondie.

When he goes beyond a curtain I just about manage to sneak in behind a couple of bigger guys. I stand off to the side, hiding behind a pillar, so I can watch Blondie. I don't know what he's doing but I get a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

It's not until he whips out the seraph blade that I begin to get freaked out. Are there Demons here? I guess that would make sense considering what I think 'Jace' is. But it's one thing to think about it, and another thing to actually see it happening right in front of you.

Blondie brandishes the jagged blade at a women in a tight purple and mesh dress. When that women's face suddenly splits off into sharp teethed tentacles I begin to feel my small word unravelling.

"Holy shit biscuit." I breathe.

It's then that I realise I'm not exactly alone hiding here. Suddenly there's another boy at my side. He's tall, dark haired, frustratingly handsome and also covered in those runes. Hmmm, so Blondie has back up?

This other possible Shadowhunter is looking at me in stunned silence. I wave at him awkwardly,

"Um, hi there."

"What the hell?" he says, his dark eyes flashing in confusion.

"My name's Ever." I hold out my hand for him to shake. He stares at my hand for a long moment before touching it reluctantly, like he thinks it'll bite him.

"Alec." He says, and then he shakes his head like he has no idea why he just said that.

"You're very pretty," I tell him. Because he really is.

Alec looks stunned for a few moment before he replies,

"Um, so are you."

I open my mouth to say something else, but just then all hell breaks loose. Blondie attacks the pissed off octopus face and makes her go poof by slashing her with the seraph blade.

Another one of those muscle bound guys comes at Blondie all meany bo beany like, but before he can even touch Blondie, a half naked girl lashes out a whip that catches him around the throat. She proceeds to kick some serious Demon ass.

I wave at Blondie when he notices me standing next to Alec. His blue eyes widen, but he doesn't have much time to respond since just then another Demon guy pounces on him, causing him to drop his blade.

"Uh oh, he dropped the thingy!" I look back at Alec, who still hasn't appeared to have gotten over his whole 'I will stare at you until you disappear' thing. Fair enough, I did gatecrash their show after all.

Alec seems to jerk himself out of whatever mind space he was in just then.

"Don't...do anything stupid." Alec warns me before throwing himself into the fight and kicking some Demon ass as well.

Even with those words in mind I watch as Blondy tries to fight Demons without his blade. Looks hard.

I rush over to try and...help. I think. Although why my brain thought that was a good idea is lost on me.

I do manage to grab up the seraph blade though and it slides back out when I pick it up. I almost drop the damn thing in surprise. I'm mostly running on confused adrenaline here.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Blondie yells at me.

I glare at him and yell back,

"I DON'T KNOW!"

Good, well, that helps _no one_.

Blondie gets in a good kick to a Demon's chest, and that Demon comes skidding towards me. My instincts kick in out of nowhere and I slash the seraph blade through the Demon. He turns to ash right in front of me. Gross. A million times gross.

Blondie spares a moment to stare at me in disbelief. His gaze has that intense quality to it again. I shrug at him in response. He holds out his hand for the blade and I throw it at him. Blondie catches it and re-joins the fight.

I watch the three, possible, Shadowhunters fight. It looks pretty badass actually. I think I'm in shock. I should definitely be more scared than I am right now.

I turn when I hear a familiar gasp. Clary is standing by the curtain watching the Demon vs Shadowhunter smackdown.

Uh oh.

Clary looks up at me then, and I see the panic in her eyes. I take a step towards her, but she's already running away.

For a moment I consider staying and confronting Blondie, but in the end, worry for my sister wins out and I run after her. On my way back through the club I bump into someone. When I catch his eye something in my mind twitches. He looks familiar. And yet not. I brush the thought aside and keep moving.

...

When I wake up my head smack into someone's face. Well that's their fault for sitting so damn close.

I blink my eyes open and look around. For a moment I have no idea where I am or what's happened and that terrifies me. But not as much as when my memories suddenly come back and hit me at full force.

My mother. The portal. Luke's apparent betrayal. Dot. The shape shifter Demon. My mother...and my sister...both missing.

And I still have no freakin' clue where I am.

Right, good start. Not so much.

In front of me sits a girl I vaguely recognise. It's the girl from the club. The badass one with the almost zero clothage and metal whip.

"Well hello to you," I say. My head is pounding. I feel like I've been run over by a herd of pandas.

"I'm Isabelle," the girl tells me.

"Goodie for you," I say distractedly. I take in the room around me even though everything still feels kinda fuzzy.

"I've never seen Jace act so curious about a mundane," Isabelle whatsit says, her tone thoughtful, yet amused. "Or so distracted." She adds.

Then I remember Jace. Blondie. He saved me from being eaten by that shape shifter demon. I'm pretty sure I still don't like him though.

I turn back to Isabelle and say,

"Yeah, so, one question, you **_are_** Shadowhunters right?" Just to get that on the record.

Isabelle smirks slightly that,

"Yes, we are Shadowhunters."

Thank God for that. I think.

Just then Blondie and Alec decide to show up.

I smile at Alec and ignore Blondie.

"Hey Alec. Great to see you again."

Alec stares at me, looking like he wants to say something scathing, but is too knocked off kilter by my smiling at him.

"Hi Ever. You feeling ok?" he asks, seemingly against his will.

"How does she know your name?" Blondie asks Alec, sounding kind of accusatory.

Alec appears to struggle with words for a few second before saying,

"She spoke to me first." Like it's a defence of some kind.

I raise my hand, and they all turn to me,

"First of all," I say, "I'm doing ok thank you Alec," I nod at Alec, "Secondly, can one of you tell me where we are right now?"

I almost add 'if that's not too much trouble', but I don't want to overdo the snarkfest. Yet.

Blondie moves closer to the bed and gives Isabelle a pointed look. She winks at me and gets up off the bed so that Blondie can sit down. He looks into my eyes and I try very hard not to shuffle backwards.

"My name is Jace Wayland."

So that's a resounding no on the 'where am I' question. Ok, I can see the line.

I tilt my head and study Blondie. He's good looking, in a pretty, rugged sort of way. But there's also something special about him. Something that repels me just as much as it reels me in. I've never felt like that about anybody before, not even close. It's completely disarming. I'm really not sure if I like the feeling or not.

"I'm Ever Fray." For lack of anything else to offer at the moment.

"We know." Blondy replies annoyingly.

I narrow my eyes at him and don't respond in any way. Clearly these people think they can call the shots, and they also clearly know more than me. But that doesn't mean I have to like it.

Blondy looks up at Alec, and then over at Isabelle.

"Could you guys give us a minute." When neither Alec nor Isabelle budge, he adds, "Fine, if you're going to be assholes about it... _Please_."

I can't help but say,

"Uh, if I'm about to get the low down on what's going on, then I think I'd prefer to hear it from Alec." I point at the dark haired boy. I'm pretty sure he was mentally glaring at me a moment ago, but now he just looks startled. "We have history after all," I add, looking up at Alec, "Remember that time when we introduced ourselves behind a pillar...ah, good times."

"What's your deal with Alec?" Blondie asks, looking confused and a little pissed. Even better.

The truth is, Blondie makes me uncomfortable, and when I get uncomfortable I go on the offensive. If he stays I'll probably end up smacking him out of pent up frustration.

"I like him better than you," I tell Blondie instead.

"You don't know him," Blondie argues plainly.

"I don't know _you_ either," I fire back.

Blondie's frown turns into a scowl, and he looks ready to argue with me again. But suddenly Isabelle steps in and says,

"Come on, Jace, if she wants to talk to Alec, then let her talk to Alec."

I psychically thank Isabelle. She gives me a knowing look that I pretend to ignore.

I just can't deal with Blondie and all the weirdness that comes along with him right now. I have enough weirdness going on around me as it is, and I need to concentrate on my sister and mother. They've been taken by circle members, and I need to get them back. Like _now._

Blondie allows himself to be pulled from the room by Isabelle reluctantly. He stares at me the whole time as he leaves. I keep my eyes fastened onto my finger nails, as if they'll help me get out of this clusterfuck.

When it's just me and Alec alone, he comes and takes a seat on the bed so that he can meet my eyes.

"I think that's the first time any girl has told Jace to fuck off." Alec says, sounding half amused and half...something else.

"I didn't tell him to fuck off." Although I sort of did.

Alec gives me a look that calls bullshit on that.

"Ok, maybe I did. But it'll be a good character building exercise for him. Guys like him usually need it." I say with sigh.

Alec actually laughs at that. He doesn't seem like the type to laugh all that much, so at least I've accomplished something today. Alec looks right at me then and says,

"You've never met a guy like Jace."

Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of.

I wave a hand,

"Meh, forget him, we have stuff to discuss." I gesture between us.

Alec raises a dark eyebrow, but lets the subject drop. My kind of guy.

"Right then, first things first, how much do you know about any of this?"

I think about that for a moment, and what the best answer would be. Eventually I settle on,

"A little bit of everything, but not _a lot_ of anything."

Alec nods slowly,

"We can work with that. From the ground up, then, yeah?"

"Sounds good," I say with a firm nod.


	2. Bring it on buttercup!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stuff! Snark! More stuff!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do NOT own Shadowhunters. Or The Mortal Instruments. The only thing I own in this fic is my character 'Ever'.

So, basic low down for the newbies.

When I chased after my deranged twin, yeah that's right I said deranged, I'm calling it now, she had already fucked off. Probably in a cab. I figured she'd go home and so I headed home as well. But when I got there Clary wasn't back yet. I tried to talk to my mother about what I'd seen at the club, but then those 'the circle' assholes showed up and caused shitstorm.

My Mom practically choked me with a necklace and Dot created this purple portal thingy, which I was then shoved through by my Mom. I ended up at the police station and I searched for Luke, because I figured he must know what's going on too. Luke and Mom have always been thick as thieves. I keep waiting for them to get married or something, but as far as I've been able to tell, there's been nothing but friendship between them.

I caught Luke being interrogated by circle members, those dicks. I didn't stick around long after that. I knew I had to find Clary. I had hoped that Mom would have sent Clary away the same as she did me. But when I got back to our apartment, I couldn't find my Mother or Clary. Although I did find Dot. Or who I thought was Dot, but turned out to be a demon shape shifter whatsit.

As loathe as I am to admit it, Blondie actually saved my life. But he was snarky about it, so I was forced to remove all house points he may have gained for saving me. Like I said before: douchnozzle. I call 'em like I see 'em.

So, anyway, I passed out from being poisoned by that stupid demon butthead, and that brings us to this moment right here.

"Um, what exactly happened to my clothes?" I ask Alec.

Alec arches a dark eyebrow in slight amusement and replies,

"Demon poison wrecked them. But my sister left some clothes out for you." He points over at a chair. Hanging over the chair is a leather belt and a matching leather scarf.

I make a face at Alec,

"Dude, no offense here, but is your sister literally allergic to clothes?"

"Judgy." Alec smiles a little, although his focus is now on what looks like one of my story journals/sketchbook.

I take his point. I'm never normally one to judge anyone's fashion choices. But I'm not sure if I can pull off a leather mini skirt.

I guess today is the day that I find out.

I look Alec up and down,

"I like your clothes better. Just in case you needed an ego boost today."

Alec gives me a strange little smile,

"You're a very strange person."

I make a gun motion with my fingers and pretend fire at him,

"They call me the weirdo fairy."

That gets another snorted laugh our of Alec. I am on a roll with this guy. I think I'm sensing some new best friend material right here. I mean, Simon's my best friend forever, but Alec could be a top notch runner up. I'm sure Alec would be thrilled by the news. I'll save it for a special moment.

I change into the tight leather clothes and inspect myself in the mirror. It's only then that I realise I have one of those rune thingies on my neck. I whip around to face Alec and ask,

"One question dreamboat, who the frik frak decided to tattoo my neck?"

Alec drags his eyes away from my drawings and says,

"That would be Jace."

"Who the flip flop is that?" I scrunch my nose up.

Alec says dryly,

"That guy with the blond hair who you stalked in Pandemonium."

"Oh, you mean Blondie, alright, I'm with you now." I waggle a finger in his general direction.

"He did it to save your life." Alec points out, his gaze resting on my neck.

I run my fingers over the rune. It feels strange. And yet not, like it was always supposed to be there.

I read about runes in my Mom's books. They can be used for all kinds of things, and can be incredibly powerful for Shadowhunters. And absolutely lethal for humans. So I guess that answers one question about me. Sort of.

Alec frowns when something under my journal buzzes. He reaches under and brings out my phone. I reach over and take it from him. I almost cringe when I see Simon's name on the display screen. Damn, Simon must be freaking out right now. I think about not answering, but then I realise that would make me an asshole, and besides this is **_Simon_**. My Simon. He'll understand.

Maybe.

I answer the phone and hold it to my ear. Simon immediately starts firing off questions at me.

"Ever! Are you ok? What's going on? Why are you inside an abandoned church?"

"I'm having a bit of an identity crisis," I tell him, moving over to the window. I spot Simon down below standing by his van. He looks agitated, which I guess is kind of warranted given the situation. I know that if Simon ever pulled a stunt like this then I would kick his ass.

"Ever, seriously, this isn't funny. Tell me what's happening." Simon sounds a bit panicked, and I feel shirty for messing him around like this. To be completely honest I don't really want him involved. But, at the same time, I need someone I can really trust around right now.

Even as I'm internally struggling with myself, I say,

"Hold on, I'll be right out."

Simon starts sputtering again, but I end the call.

I look back at the bed. Alec is standing up now, his dark blue eyes trained on me. He looks curious, but not invasive. Yeah, it was definitely a good call to have Alec in here instead of Blondie.

"I have to go and talk to my friend," I tell Alec.

I expect him to protest, but instead he surprises me by saying,

"Alright, but I'm coming with you. It's not safe out there."

I nod at him in acceptance. We both march out of the room, and I don't even stop when I find Blondie waiting right there. He falls into step beside me, so now I have two practical strangers flanking me.

Ohhh, I feel so safe. Then they both whip out their blades (don't even go there), and I begin to feel a sense of foreboding. Only bad things can come of going outside. But I need to make sure Simon is ok. I'd hate for him to go missing too. I'm already down two people I love.

When we get outside I see Simon and he starts walking towards me. Clearly though, he still can't see Blondie or Alec. I turn to Alec on the stone steps and ask,

"Is the whole invisibility thing because of another rune?"

"Yeah, that's right. It stop mundanes from seeing us." Blondie answers, he lifts up his t-shirt slightly, revealing a bit of taut stomach and a rather large rune. Blondie adds wryly, "It's a shame really, because I'm depraving all the mundanes of all this." He gestures at himself.

I roll my eyes and say,

"Excuse me, I think you'll find I was talking to **_Alec_** just then."

I get myself ready to flounce off with complete badassness intact, but Blondie grabs my arm. Firmly, but not painfully. I could break away if I wanted to. But I sort of don't want to. And that pisses me off for reasons only a trained psychiatrist would be able to understand.

Blondie's gaze latches onto mine and holds it steady,

"Hey, what is your problem with me?"

"What should my problem with you be?" I reply, knowing full that what I just said zero sense.

Blondie tilts his head to the side and his brows furrow,

"You don't like me." He summarises after a short pause.

I narrow my eyes at him,

"I don't like a lot of people. Don't be thinking you're special."

"Why don't you like me?" Blondie asks, sounding genuinely curious.

"Do I need a reason?" I ask evenly.

Somehow Blondie's gaze becomes even more intense (HOW?) and he says,

"Yes. You can't just not like someone for no reason at all."

"Maybe **_you_** can't." I poke him in the chest.

"You are very difficult," Blondie tells me. But far from sounding put off, he actually seems even more intrigued. The freak.

I lift a hand and wave it near his annoyingly perfect hair,

"Yeah, well, you are so...just...so blond right now...I mean I can't even...just...blond...everywhere on your head. Completely blondified."

"You're basing your dislike of me on my hair colour?" Blondie says incredulously.

"There is wisdom of the head and wisdom of the mind. Blonds are neither." I reply caustically.

Blondie looks just a little bit flabbergasted, and yes that is the only word that fits the look on his face. He shakes his head slowly, as if gathering his thoughts, and then he says to me,

"Did you just argue with me using a Charles Dickens quote?"

I pull an apologetic face at him,

"I'm afraid I really can't take you seriously with that hair."

"You make no sense!" Blondie finally explodes.

"Oh for the love of Angels, how is this even happening right now?" Alec mutters in disbelief from my other side.

I don't turn to look at him because I'm too busy having a staring contest with Blondie, which I will WIN! No one beats me at staring contests. Fact.

"Ever, seriously, who are you talking to?" That snaps me right out of it.

I rush over to a bewildered looking Simon and I throw my arms around him. Simon gathers me close in a fierce hug. I can still feel Bondie's eyes on me though. Weirdo.

"Ever, what are you wearing?" Simon asks when we pull apart. He takes off his jacket hands it to me.

I take the blue jacket gratefully and put it on.

"It's a long story, Si. Things in the last few hours have gotten way weird."

"I'm starting to get that." Simon says, his voice wavering between frustration and confusion.

I open my mouth to respond, but I'm beaten to it when I hear someone behind me say,

"Everlyna Fray."

Oh, we're bringing out the full name now bitches.

I spin around just in time to see a tall man in a suit giving me daggers. Hurtful.

Both Alec and Blondie attack the man a recognise from when I was at the police station. He was talking to Luke about the circle. He must be one of them. Maybe he knows where my mother and sister are. Not like I can just ask him, especially when Blondie stabs him with a seraph blade.

Simon is still looking at me like I'm a lunatic for reacting to a fight he can't even see.

Once the circle dipshit is dead on the floor I say to Alec and Blondie,

"Do you two mind deglamourizing or something?"

Simon wraps a hand around my arm and pulls me around,

"Ever, what the hell is-"

He trails off when the dead circle member reveals himself on the ground. Simon's eyes widen as Blondie and Alec also poof into existence.

"Ever, some random rejects from Stargate just appeared out of nowhere." Simon doesn't sound as freaked out as I would have thought.

"Yeah, I know. Althought they're less Stargate and more Buffy the vampire slayer." I pat Simon's arm consolingly.

"We don't have time for this," Blondie snaps frustratedly.

I point at him and snap right back,

"Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherf-kin' circle members trying to motherf-kin' kill me!"

"Don't quote 'Snakes on a plane' at me!" Blondie shouts. "You are so frustrating."

But I can't seem to stop myself. Because I'm an asshole at heart.

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn!"

"Ah, here we go." Blondie slaps a hand over his face. "I'm beginning to think we should just turn you over to the circle."

 **"** Sir, you are no gentleman." I say, and I know it is so wrong to be making jokes right now.

Blondie actually smiles, seemingly against his will, and says,

"And you, Miss, are no lady."

"What are they doing now?" Alec asks Simon.

Simon is gaping at me and Blondie. He replies to Alec without looking at him,

"I'm pretty sure they're quoting 'Gone with the wind'."

Alec shakes his head and gives Blondie a look of doom. It reminds me of my sister, and that sobers me right up.

"I need to find my sister and mother." As if that's news. But I do feel that it needs reiterating.

Blondie says, his expression grave,

"We will find them. I promise. Let me help you." Our gazes catch again and I feel myself unnaturally swayed by the honesty in his eyes.

"Don't trust him, he's blond." Simon whispers to me.

Fair point.

"I have to trust him, Si. These people are the only ones who know what the hell is going on."

"What the hell _is_ going on?" Simon asks, "You still haven't explained that part to me yet."

"Come on, lets go inside." Alec says, gesturing to the steps.

I take hold of Simon's hand and pull him after me.

"Do we really need to bring the mundane?" Blondie asks, giving Simon a sceptical look.

Simon waves a hand at Blondie and says,

"Oh great, I'm being judged by Mick Jagger and Brad Pitt's love child."

I look at Blondie thoughtfully,

"Are you sure? I was thinking more Leonardo Di Carprio and James Dean."

Simon tilts his head and gives Blondie another once over.

"I guess I can see it."

"Would you tell your mundane to stop checking me out." Blondie grumbles over his shoulder at me.

"You tell him." I say dismissively. "I'm not your bodyguard."

Simon looks offended for about two seconds until he sees the _real_ inside of the Institute. Not a broken down church, but a base for Shadowhatsits.

"What is this place?" Simon asks, clearly awed.

We all move further into the building. There's a room full of high tech stuff that on any other day, Simon would go gaga over.

"What did you guys do, rob an Apple store?"

"One question at a time Si," I slap his chest gently. "This is where Shadowhunters do their thing. Or...plan to do their thing."

"And Shadowhunters are...?" Simon lets the question hang.

"Shadowhunters poke _demons_ to death." I tell him.

"Right, because there are so many of those running around." Simon mutters.

"Apparently." I shrug.

"Was that guy outside a 'demon'?" Simon gestures towards the front doors.

"Nope. He was a circle member. They want me dead. I think." I'm trying to sound like I know what I'm talking about so that Simon won't freak out. But the truth is that I know next to nothing about any of this. For a single moment I'm pissed at my Mom. I should have known about all of this years ago, maybe then I'd of been more prepared. More able to fight back.

I hate feeling helpless like this.

"What are circle members, and why do they want Ever dead?" Simon addresses the question to Blondie directly.

Alec is fiddling around with a computer and I move to stand next to him. It takes me further away from Blondie, which is nothing but good. Being too close to Blondie makes my head go all funny.

"All we know is that a long time ago, the Circle led a revolt," Blondie explains, "A lot of Shadowhunters got killed...including my father."

I can't help but look at him then. He seems like such a stoic guy, but even I can hear the tension underlying his words when he mentions his Dad. I wonder how important his father was to him.

"Since then, we've been forbidden to hear about the Circle." Alec says.

Well that sounds dodgy as hell.

"But it's your history." Why wouldn't they want fellow Shadowhunters to know about the Circle and their revolt?

"Says the girl who knows basically nothing about us." Blondie scoffs, arching an eyebrow at me challengingly.

I meet his challenging tone with a glare,

"Don't start with me hotshothairdo. There must be someone who knows about the circle and what they want."

"There is." Blondie actually agrees. It freaks me out when he's polite.

Without any deliberation, Blondie starts flouncing off. I stare after him, waiting, until he says,

"You coming?"

Er, where? Or does he expect me to follow him without any other provocation? I'm thinking...yes.

I sigh heavily and gesture for a still vaguely confused looking Simon to come with us. Blondie turns around at the last minute though and nods towards Simon.

"No way, not him."

"Yes way, doucheclock, he's staying with me." I cross my arms and attempt to look threatening. That's pretty hard to do when you're wearing clothes tight enough to cook yourself in on a hot day.

Like a jacket potato. I don't think you're supposed to feel like a potato in sexy leather clothing. Maybe I should tell Isy-whip that her sex-me clothes are faulty.

Blondie's eyes widen a little and he says exasperatedly,

"First of all, _doucheclock_?"

"Yes. You're a doucheclock. Deal with it." I say sardonically.

"What does that even _mean_?" Blondie asks in obvious frustration.

"You'll understand when you're older." I reach over to pat him on the arm patronisingly.

"But you're younger than me! How can you understand it if I don't?" Blondie sounds like he's at breaking point. Good. I have him right where I want him.

"Ever, stop torturing the last Jedi." Simon interrupts, clearly attempting to diffuse the situation.

I have no idea why I'm enjoying getting Blondie all worked up, but I am. It would be a lot more fun if my sister and mother weren't missing however.

Blondie shakes his head, as if brushing off a nightmare and says,

"There are runes all over the training room floor that would kill your mundane boyfriend if he comes with us."

I scoff and wrap an arm around Simon's shoulders,

"Don't underestimate my muggle. He can be very crafty when he puts his mind to it."

I don't comment on the whole 'boyfriend' thing. Let Blondie think whatever he wants. My lips are sealed on that front.

"I said _mundane_." Blondie says dryly.

I wave a hand at him,

"Pfffttt, muggle, mundane, same thing. They both begin with the letter 'm'. Personally I think 'muggle' sounds slightly less insulting."

"Do you ever take anything seriously?" Blondie demands, and there's that pissy voice again.

I narrow my eyes at him and reply,

"Do you ever do anything but stand around and ask pointless questions?"

"Oh by the love of the Angel!" Alec suddenly throws up his hands and glares at us, "We'll never get anything done with you two bitching at each other all day."

Ohhh, Mr blue eyes and aloof has pernickety claws. Definitely friend material right there.

"We'll look after the mundane," Isy-tron says, giving Simon a good once over.

Kind of gross. But only because it's... _Simon_. The guy I shared crayons with and had cup cake wars with and shared Pj's with whenever we slept over each others houses as kids. Or really it was more me stealing his clothing because boys' Pj's are always more comfortable.

"Simon, this is Isabelle." I introduce my best friend to possibly the most sexually open person I've ever met. "Isabelle, this is Simon. Please be gentle with him, he is but a simple soul."

Simon glares at me, but I just grin manically at him and he eventually rolls his eyes.

"Right then, off we go." Blonie gestures for me to come with him. I almost want to be an asshole and just not follow after him. But it's far too important for me to find my mother and sister. And fast. There's no telling what could be happening to them.

I share one last reassuring smile with Simon, and then I'm moving fast to catch up with Blondie.

...

"Valentine nearly destroyed the shadow world and humanity along with it." Hodge tells me, and the mark on his neck starts to burn.

According to Blondie, Hodge, was a member of the circle until he left and recanted. The Clave allowed him to live, but they also cursed him to stay inside the Institute and never leave. Hodge is broad, blond and a little bit twitchy. His body is covered in runes, but the one that disturbs me is the rune that burns hot and painful every time he tries to tell us about the circle. He was forbidden to speak of it.

I'm not sure what to think of this guy so far. Hodge is the weapons trainer for the Institute, and I watched him kick some other Shadowhunter's ass right before we started integrating him about shit we aren't supposed to know about. Shit that the Clave went through a lot of trouble to hide.

Apparently, my mother was a member of the circle at one point as well. But then she left, and the leader of the circle, Valentine, was supposed to have died in a fire.

Hodge's whole body is shaking from pain, and I wince inwardly. I hate having to do this, but I can't fight what I know nothing about. I need the information that only Hodge has. Desperately. He looks up at me earnestly and says,

"If Valentine had gotten the mortal cup-"

That rings a bell actually.

"Hold on a sec...my mother said she hid the mortal cup. That's exactly what she said before she sent me away."

Blondie looks at me sharply and lowers his voice when he says,

"Ever, the mortal cup is the most important object in the shadow world. Whoever posses it can create more Shadowhunters."

Sounds like bullshit to me, but hey, I ain't a fully fledged Shadow-whatsit, so what do I know?

"In the wrong hands, it can control demons." Hodge adds, sounding on the edge of desperation himself now.

I reach out to take one of his hands in mine, and squeeze it hard.

"We'll get the cup." I say, with more confidence in my voice than I actually feel.

I lock my jaw and meet Hodge's eyes. He squeezes my hand back.

"Your mother...she was only trying to protect you and your sister, Ever." Hodge says hoarsely, "Now you have to protect them. Find the cup before Valentine, or he will destroy us all."

Ah, so no pressure then. Goodie.


	3. Moon rocks are stupid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snarky boys and their glowy toys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do NOT own Shadowhunters. Or The Mortal Instruments. The only thing I own in this fic is my character 'Ever'.

"Clary!" My mind shifts. Yeah, that's the only way to describe it.

After my 'meeting' with Hodge, I felt even more determined to find my sister and my mother. But as much as I was loathed to admit it, I would need the help of the Shadow-whatsits.

It was mid-shouting match with Blondie that the necklace my Mom gave me before she shoved me through that portal started to majorly spaz out. I saw a vision of Clary, and then one of Dot. I recognised where they were and stormed off after them, dragging Simon along with me.

Blondie insisted on coming, bleh. Alec is coming along too though, so at least I can throw him in front of Blondie if he incites my wraith by being an arrogant pain in the ass.

So, anyway, now I'm running through the streets looking like a lunatic prostitute in this God damn leather skirt, with my fucking glowy purple necklace. I feel like a moron, and the way Blondie keeps looking at me like he thinks the same thing is making me want to push his stupid face into a dumpster.

I'm not at all surprised to find myself nearing the back entrance to the Pandemonium club. Of course all the creepy shit would be happening near the creepy club where all the creepy people apparently hang out.

"Ever! Stop!" Blondie catches up with me and tries to slow me down. "Where are you going?" he shouts.

I do not appreciate my mission being interrupted. Does he not realise that I have shit to do here? I have sister's to find, mother's to save, and bullshit magical cups to uncover!

I turn around to glare at Blondie,

"I saw two members of the Circle. They were attacking Dot and Clary!"

"What?" Blondie frowns at me, "Why would Clary be with Dot? Do you know what they're doing here?"

I gives him a 'you got dropped on your head as a child didn't you' look and say,

"Oh, yeah, I know exactly why Dot and Clary are here. In fact, I know where Valentine and the cup are as well. I just figured it would be more fun for all of us to run around aimlessly, so I decided not to tell you."

"You are stunning when you throw sarcasm at me," Blondie says, smirking in a way that I'm already beginning to despise.

"Sarcasm is my natural defence against stupidity." I explain to him.

"Because beating the crap out of stupid people is illegal." Blondie says in understanding.

"My point exactly." I nod, every part of me denying the need to agree with him.

We end up staring at each other then, Blondie's eyes captivating me a strangely intense way. It makes me want to kick him. But that would be insane.

I kick him.

"You kicked me!" Blondie gapes at me, lifting his leg up pointedly.

"You were staring at me!" I fire back, crossing my arms in defiance.

Blondie practically chokes on the words,

"You were staring at me too!"

"Exactly, that's what made it weird!" I throw my arms up.

Simon catches up to us then along with Alec and Isabelle. The three of them are looking between the three of us in confusion and wariness.

"Wasn't there some kind of urgency?" Simon questions, clearly bemused.

"Yeah, I figured that's why we were running." Alec adds, his dark blue eyes flickering back and forth between me and Blondie.

Oh shit yeah! Clary!

I whack Blondie's arm,

"Oh for Satan's sake Blondie! Would you stop distracting me, I have a rescue mission to complete."

Blondie expression becomes one of either outrage or indignation. But I do not have time for his riff raff nonsense, so I turn on my heel and continue on with my quest for sister-saving. I run into the abandoned club.

My entourage of Shadow-whatsits and Simon follow in after me.

I look everywhere for Dot and Clary, but I can't find them anywhere inside the club. Finally I let out a yell of frustration and run both my hands through my hair, tugging at the ends. I know the Circle bastards must have taken them, but the thought makes me so angry. How is it that my life has changed this much dramatically in such a short space of time?

"I bet Buffy didn't have to put up with shit like this!" I say, mostly to myself.

"You aren't Buffy the vampire slayer." Simon points out rather uselessly.

"What's Buffy the vampire slayer?" Blondie asks, looking perplexed, "Is it someone you know?"

"Seriously?" I stare at him, "Do Shadowpuppets live under rocks?"

"Its Shadowhunters." Blondie says with evils attached.

I wave a dismissive hand,

"Ah, potato, eggplant, it's all the same."

"Your new girlfriend says weird things," Isabelle says to Blondie.

"She does?" I ask, eyebrows raised, "That's a bit of a random thing to bring up. Is she a Shadow-thingy too?"

"She meant you," Alec tells me, his tone as dry as ever. I wonder if he ever smiles. Like in real life. Maybe he needs to get laid or something.

Then I clock what he said and I take a huge step back from Blondie. I point at him,

"No." I flap my hand up and down Blondie's body, "No." I say again. "Just...no."

Blondie looks immediately offended. Good. Although I don't know what he has to feel offended about, I'm the one who just got called his girlfriend. That's practically an attack on my character.

"Ok, can we refocus here," Simon interrupts, taking a few steps forward so he's standing closer to me. "How do we find Clary?"

"We need more information," I say, the frustration seeping back into my voice.

"Ever's right," Alec says, "We have to go back to the Institute. There's no way we'll be able to find Clary and her mother if we just keep wandering around with no idea where we're going."

Thank you Captain dream boat!

"Well, if it's more info we need, then there's really only one place," Blondie says with a knowing look on his face.

"No way!" Both Isabelle and Alec snap at the same time.

"I'm not afraid of the silent brothers." Blondie argues more calmly.

Oh, fuck, not more stuff to remember!

"Who the frik frak are these silent bints?" I know they were mentioned in my Mom's books, but their existence was never fully explained.

Blondie turns to me then and explains,

"They're Shadowhunters with superior powers."

Sounds boring.

"They posses the ability to recover memories." Isabelle adds somewhat reluctantly.

"But the process can also kill you. So there's that." Alec adds drolly.

I'm really starting to like this guy.

"Ah, ok, so Silent bints are helpful if you want to recover memories, but not so helpful if you do not wish to die a most painful death. Got it." I give them a thumbs up.

"Sounds like something the original Albus Dumbledore would say," Simon mumbles to me.

I nudge his side and nod,

"Yeah, that was the theme I was going for."

The three Shadow-wishers look confuzzled again.

Alec shakes his head swiftly, as if shaking off bad ju juj and turns to Blondie,

"Look, we've already broken, like, eighteen Clave rules, and now you want to take Ever to the city of bones. No. I won't allow it."

I raise my hand and say,

"Aww, can I pretend the reason you're saying that is because you care about my wellbeing and don't want me to get hurt by tripping over a bone. Or a silent brother. Or a silent brother shaped like a bone. Or a bone shaped like a silent brother."

Alec looks up at me, clearly considering, and then he says,

"Yes, I give you full permission to pretend that that is what I care about."

I pump a fist,

"Yes! I knew you already loved me."

Alec gestures a hand at me and raises an eyebrow in Blondie's direction,

"Now, you see what you've unleashed upon us all?"

"Ok, so maybe I didn't think it all the way through." Blondie admits, making a face.

Alec scoffs at him,

"Oh really, and it seemed like such a solid plan."

"Alright," I take a step forward, placing myself between Alec and Blondie, "that's enough giggling and nattering about your hair styles boys. Lets go to this city of bones place. It sounds like fun."

Blondie shakes his head slowly at me whilst Alec sputters something about his hair behind me.

"You're genuinely insane." Blondie says.

"Hey," I snap my fingers in his face, "that may be so, but I'm also the one with the super importanto memories and the glowy necklace, so suck it up bitch and lets get going already!"

"I'd listen to her if I were you," Simon chimes in, looking pensively at Blondie, "if you refuse her then she might start to do something actually frightening...like sing."

"Um, I can throw down some rhymes, Si, shut up." I poke my tongue out at him.

"Oh by the Angel, please no!" Blondie says, looking vaguely horrified by the whole situation.

Rude.

Shadow-busters are mean.

...

"Well...this isn't creepy at all." Simon says, his nose curling up in distaste.

I kind of have to agree. It looks like a hippie junk yard up in this place.

"Don't tell me you're afraid." Isabelle teases.

"Are you kidding, I was born afraid." Simon quips. Poorly.

Smooth, Si, real smooth.

"Lets go check it out," Alec grumbles, he nods at me, "You stay behind a sec until we make sure it's safe."

I mock salute him with two fingers,

"Righto, boss."

The Shadow-bees go off to do their...recon...bee...shadow...stuff. Whatever.

When we're finally sort of alone, Simon turns to me and says,

"Ok, for real, are we actually trusting these strangers?"

I scowl at him,

"No. Of course not. Don't be stupid."

Simon looks way relieved,

"Then what are we doing here?"

I sigh heavily and rub a the headache begging on the left side of my head,

"I need their help to find Clary and my mother, that's as far as it goes."

Simon actually seems surprised by that,

"Are you serious? I mean...you're not interested in...all of this?" He gestures randomly around.

Of course I'm interested. I've always been interested. I fact I feel like I've finally found a vital missing part of myself. But I can't really say that out loud. It's not what matters right now.

"Maybe I would be, if the circumstances were different. But all I want is to find Clary and Dot and my mother. The rest can go to hell for now."

One crazy step at a time.

Simon reaches over and takes my hand, his latent protective streak flashing in his eyes as he pulls me into a side hug. I hug him back hard enough to creak bones, and Simon laughs.

"I'm here for you, Ev's, whatever you need." Simon whispers into my ear. He squeezes me tight, like he never wants to let go.

At least there's one person left I can count on. Hopefully he won't get kidnapped as well.

"Ever!" Blondie calls out to me, "It's all clear!"

I pull away from Simon reluctantly and make my way over to Blondie, yanking Simon along behind me.

I amble along beside Blondie and after a few moments of walking through tall grass, he says,

"You have to understand the the Silent brothers are different from us. Very different. They exist on a plane that is entirely separate. They communicate using some form of telepathy instead of speaking."

"Ohhh, cool! Sounds fun." I bounce a little on the spot.

"It's not cool or fun, it's serious." Alec says from my other side.

I lean over and poke his bicep,

"You say that to yourself every day in front of the mirror, don't you? It's like your mantra for life, isn't it?"

Blondie tries to stifle a snicker, and Alec glares at him.

"The silent brothers will hold the soul sword to your head, and with it's blade they'll carve the truth from your head." Blondie says more seriously.

Ok, that sounds less fun. But still cool.

I'm remaining positive here folks.

"Well, I'm all for new experiences, and being poked in the forehead by a sword will definitely be one for the scrap book."

Blondie stops me suddenly, his hands coming to grab my waist and holds me still. He meets my eyes and it's only because of the seriousness on his face that I don't pull away.

"You have to know, Ever, that the pain will be excruciating. If you don't want to do this then you don't have to, we can find another way-"

I'm shaking my head before he can even finish,

"No, no, you said this would be the fastest way. I don't know what's going on with my mother and sister right now. Anything could be happening to them. I cannot let my whole family die just because I couldn't stand a bit of pain."

Blondie still looks unsure, and concern for me shadows his expression, but all he says is,

"Alright, it's your choice."

Damn right.

...

The moment we get inside the city of bones, I start to feel like something ice cold is taking my insides hostage.

Blondie clearly also feels unsettled, and that just makes the whole situation seem even more fucked up than it already is, which is really saying something considering everything that's happened.

We had to leave Simon outside, which did not please him at all. Isabelle offered to stay outside with him oh so selflessly. I think Isy-tron might have a thing for Simon. I find even the concept of that hilarious.

Alec tried to escape by presence by muttering something snippy about 'guarding the perimeter', but I wouldn't have it. I gripped onto his arm and forced him to come inside along with me and Blondie. I'm not being funny or anything, but two ninja Shadows sounds better than one right now. I need all the help I can get with this.

The city of bones reminds me of a cross between a mausoleum and an old bunker. Everything is bricks and ivy and creepy skulls all over the damn place. If the silent bints are actively trying to spook newcomers, then I have to give it to them, this whole underground tomb thing is working. At least on me that is.

"Jace, tell your new...thing to let go of me." Alec says, giving the hand I have wrapped around his arm a pointed look.

Thing? THING? Meh, I've been called worse. By my own sister.

Besides...

"Who the hell is Jace?" I mutter absently whilst poking at a skull fitted into the wall.

"Don't touch that!" Alec says, slapping at my hand.

I slap him back, affronted. Alec glares at me. I mime poking the skill again. Alec glares some more.

"I bet you're real popular on the adults table at weddings." I say to him, smiling a bit manically.

"Jace! Seriously, tell her." Alec pleads with Blondie whilst trying to extract himself. I wrap my arms around his arm and hold on tight. Like a baby octopus.

"You tell her," Blonide growls, sounding both annoyed and amused, "she's clearly _your_ new best friend."

"Jealous," I say to Blondie, and then turn back to Alec, "He mocks our genuine and deep connection."

"We've known each other less than a day," Alec reminds me, as if that's supposed to mean something.

I shrug one shoulder in response.

"So? Haven't you ever read a YA fantasy novel? Any and all love-based emotions are instantaneous and make absolutely no sense at all. That's what makes it so genius, you just can't argue with that level of stupid."

Although teenagers all over the world still try to. I would never suggest getting into a war with threads on Goodreads. Those people can be vicious if you insult the wrong character.

"I don't usually spend my time reading Young adult novels." Alec replies stiffly.

"Yeah, I kind of got that vibe. Maybe you should try one, it might loosen you up a bit." I tug slightly on his arm, "Try one with a vampire in it. Or a bad boy angel. You'll like one of those. The bad boy angels usually have dark pasts and a secret heart of gold. And a great body. That last part is important. No one's gonna buy a YA book about angels without a picture of angel abs on the front. The people know what they want."

"What are we even talking about right now?" Alec practically screeches.

Clearly the force is not as strong in this one.

"Well I'm talking about angel abs. I don't know what you're nattering on about. You keep mentioning this 'Jace' person." I lean in closer to Alec and stage whisper, "Is he your imaginary friend?"

Blonide snorts out a laugh at that one.

"Traitor." Alec snaps at Blondie.

Once we start moving through the catacombs it gets pretty dark and Blondie reaches into his pocket. I wonder if he can fit a torch in this tiny pockets, but then he pulls out a glowing rock.

We keep moving and after a short silence, Blondie turns to me and says,

"Aren't you going to ask what this is?" He holds up the rock.

I look at the rock, and then back up at Blondie. Is that a trick question?

I frown at Blondie and say,

"It's a rock."

Blondie pulls an exasperated face and Alec sighs dramatically.

What? It ** _is_** a rock.

"This is a witchlight. We carry them around to remind us that light can be found in even the darkest of places." Blondie tells me.

I peer a bit more closely at the rock. It kind of looks like a piece of the moon. A moon rock even.

"I think I heard that once on a flashlight commercial." I say, causing both Alec and Blondie to give me weird looks.

"It's a witchlight, Ever. A very important artefact to our people." Alec says,with a touch of scorn.

I glance between Alec and Blondie for a few seconds before exclaiming,

"But its still a rock."

I mean it glows...sure...but so do flashlights. You can even get small ones that attach to your jacket.

I refrain from telling Blondie and Alec about the attachable flashlights because they already seem agitated enough as it is.

We come across a creepy religious looking statue and Blondie tries to stop in front of it, but I just keep moving down another catacomb. Blondie calls after me,

"This statue has the Shadowhunters creed on it."

"That's nice." I call back to him.

"In Latin." Blondie calls again. I ignore him. Hopefully he'll catch on soon enough. If I don't ask a question, then that usually means I don't shive a git.

"Don't want to know what it says?" Alec asks me, for once seeming genuinely curious.

I shake my head at him,

"Nope!" I raise my voice, "I'm gettin' bored here, boys, lets keep this part train moving."

Blondie comes racing up on my other side,

"Are you seriously not interested in all of this?" he asks.

I roll my eyes and say,

"Of course I am. But I already know what the Shadow-busters creed is. I read about it when I was a kid."

Blondie's brows furrow,

"But I thought you didn't know anything about our world."

I make a buzzer sound,

"Eeeegghhh! Wrong! I know shit, ok, I just don't know all the whys and hows of the shit."

"Eloquently put as always," Alec mumbles.

I pinch his arm. Hard.

"Don't be a twatwaffle."

"I have no idea what that means." Alec says, looking nonplussed about my pinch. I'll have to try harder next time. Or go for a more sensitive area. They might have Shadow pinch immunity lessons or something.

We eventually come across a clearing at the end of the catacomb. It's flooded with natural moonlight and ingraved in stone on the ground is an eye symbol. I know both myself and my sister have drawn that symbol before.

"Clairvoyance." I breathe.

"Wow, you really do know shit," Blondie says, sounding at least somewhat impressed.

I just about jump out of my effing skin when the silent bints make their presence known by lighting torches. I get a brief glance at each of their strange faces. They're eyes and mouths are stitched shut, and I get a weird sock puppet flashback.

Both Blondie and Alec move closer to me, clearly moving into protective mode. I take hold of both of their arms and hold on tight.

Once of the silent bro's strides towards and stops on the other side of the eye symbol. He removes his black hood and I get the full impact of sewn eyes and marked skin.

 _"Shadowhunters."_ A deep voice speaks. But it oddly sounds like it's coming from inside my head.

It's as creepy as it sounds folks, trust me.

 _"Step into the circle."_ The voice urges, and the silent bro standing in front of us gestures at the eye symbol.

I lift a hand and wave. Yes wave. Shut up, I'm under pressure here!

I extract myself from Alec and Blondie, although they both appear reluctant to let go now that we're actually here. I take a few steps forward until I'm standing directly on the eyes symbol.

_"Leave us Alec Lightwood and Jace Wayland."_

Ohhhh, that just gets more ominious every time I hear it. And even more mentions of this 'Jace'.

"Does Blondie have to go too?" I ask. "What is your last name anyway?"

"It's complicated." Blondie says.

"Well it's you, so it would be." I reply with a shrug, "I'll just call you Blondie...Skywalker, for now."

"Or you could call me by my real name." Blondie suggests ruefully.

I wave a hand at him,

"Nah, that'd be no fun at all."

Alec looks between us, an expression on his face that clearly says that he thinks we've both gone mental.

"We'll be here if you need us, Ever." Alec says all concerned-like.

"And yet more proof that you secretly adore me." I reach for him with grabby fingers.

"I cannot express with words just how incorrect that statement is."

Yeah, he wuvs me.

Blondie reaches out to grab my hand, and I let him. He squeezes it hard once and his eyes bore into mine.

"You've got this." He says.

"Hells yes I do!" I squeeze his hand back, which seems to calm him down a bit.

I'm gonna make this sword memory thingy my bitch!

Alec and Blondie make themselves scarce, leaving me alone with the silent bros. With their hoods. And their skeletons. And their inner creep-master voice.

Oh goodie, this day just keeps getting better.

I grin at the silent brother standing directly in front of me and I say,

"Alright, I'm ready, bring my lost memories out to play."


	4. Back off fang boys!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do NOT own Shadowhunters. Or The Mortal Instruments. The only thing I own in this fic is my character 'Ever'.

I hate magic bullshit truth memory swords.

And I hate vampires.

So, apparently, according to the giant scars in hoods, Valentine/Mr Bad guy is my father. My father. My FATHER.

I used to wonder, when I was younger, what my Dad would be like. I hoped he was secretly a rock star, or a prince, or a alien, or a CIA agent, you know, something interesting and cool. But never did I think he would turn out to be a villain. And not just any villain, but THE villain.

What does that make me? A villain's daughter? Am I evil by association? That seems a bit unfair. Although, then again, I'm not all that fond of the hero side at the moment, so maybe I should give the dark side a whirl before I make up my mind.

Of course, as if that wasn't enough to be dealing with, Simon has gone and gotten himself vampnapped. I swear I left him alone for ten minutes. Now vamp dickholes want the immortal cup in exchange for Simon. Of course I'd hand the cup over right now, but I don't fucking have it, so the whole situation is completely ridiculous.

"They just want the cup Ever, and they'll do anything to get it." Blondie says, like he's trying to convince me of something I don't want to hear.

"I know that, darkside Abercrombie. What I actually need here are helpful suggestions on how to get Simon back." I lean against a wall with my arms crossed, feeling about two seconds away from attacking something with my useless fury.

Blondie arches an eyebrow, which makes me want to poke him in the eyeball. I don't care how tough you are, that shit hurts.

"Darkside Abercrombie?" He asks sceptically.

"It's a thing." I say, waving a hand. "Captain Dream boat knows what I mean," I gesture over at Alec/Dream boat.

Cap Dream boat's impossibly blue eyes widen and he takes a hasty step back,

"Do not involve me in your insanity. There's been enough of that for one night."

"I'm glad you know I was talking to you when I said Captain dream boat." I say snarkily. I fiddle with the massive crystal necklace hanging like a chain around my neck. I almost wish I'd been the one who was captured instead of Clary. Then she would have to deal with all of this and all I'd have to do is wait to be rescued. I could so play the damsel in distress role. But instead I'm having to be this hero warrior person and it does not please me one little bit.

"You were pointing at me when you said it," Cap says, looking a bit disgruntled now. I may need to break into dance at some point tonight just to see if he'll laugh or if his heart is truly made of stone.

"No I wasn't." I argue, placing a hand over my heart and projecting sincerity.

Cap's eyes narrow on me,

"Yes you were."

"Um, no I totally wasn't."

"Yes you definitely were. I saw you."

"Wow, you really need to get your eyes checked Captain, because I did no such thing."

"You pointed at me. I saw it. Jace saw it. Isy saw it. We all did!" Cap is getting really pent up about this, and it amuses me greatly. It's like winding up one of those clown in a box thingies that terrify all non-demented children.

"Um, I saw nothing of the kind."

Cap looks beseechingly at Jace,

"Help me out here. She pointed at me."

"Who is this 'she' we speak of?" I ask before Jace can reply.

"Obviously I mean you," Cap says dryly.

"Who's 'you'? Is she your best friend? Is she a Shadowhunter too? Please, show me this 'you' person I've been hearing so much about."

Cap seriously looks like he might explode at any moment. But instead of turning his ire on me, Cap glares at Blondie instead and points at him,

"I will forever despise you for bringing this creature into my life."

Blondie seems to be hiding a grin, and he ducks his head slightly, as if making a futile attempt to dispel Cap's anger. Yeah, I can tell that that ain't gonna happen any time soon.

"I'm glad you've made a new friend, Alec." Blondie says, quite clearly amused now.

Cap points at Blondie again, poking his chest in the process. It's a good chest, in fact it's probably the only part of Blondie that doesn't irrationally anger me.

"A plague on both your houses!" Cap exclaims, throwing his hands up in frustration.

"You pointed at him!" I say to Cap.

"I did not point! You pointed!" Cap is pretty much yelling now.

"I did not point! That's rude. I _gestured_."

"What's the difference?!"

"Social etiquette I think you'll find. Honestly, didn't they teach you lot anything at Shadow-whatsit finishing school?"

"They taught us to kill things."

"Sounds a bit over-dramatic."

"I...you...just... _what **are** you_?!"

"Um, what exactly are they even arguing about?" I hear Isy-tron ask Blondie.

Blondie shrugs in response and says,

"Something about boats I think."

Ok, this is very quickly getting out of hand. Before we can completely fall down the rabbit hole of despair, I say,

"Right, seriously, we need a game plan here. What are we gonna do about the cup and the vampy people?"

"We need to report to the Clave." Cap says, more serious this time. Whuh oh, nerd alert.

"Oh great, the Clave." Blondie says in the most unenthusiastic tone ever.

"They have to know what we've learned about Valentine." Cap says firmly.

"Oh yeah, sure, go ahead and tell the Clavicle about me being Valentine's father. I'm sure that'll endear me to them." I say sarcastically.

"It's the _Clave_." Cap snaps, "Do you have no respect for anything in our world? Do you even care about any of this?"

I flip him off.

"Yeah, because I've been given so many good reasons to care so far. All I want is my family back, and that includes Simon. I'm no Shadow-whatsit. That's just a fact, no matter how I feel about the rest of it."

"Its true, she was raised a mundane, we can't expect her to understand our world if she knows next to nothing about it." Isy-tron says.

"What are you, her biggest fan now?" Cap gives his sister a wounded look, like she' betrayed him somehow by defending me.

I growl at them all,

"I don't need a fanclub, I need someone competent to suggest a plan that will actually work." I stalk off, hopefully in search of someone useful.

...

"So...your great idea is for us to go grave robbing?" I give Blondie a pointed stare.

After I flounced off in a frankly mind-blowing show of diva-ness, Blondie came running after me, insisting that he could help me get Simon back. I was sceptical at first, but then Cap reluctantly agreed to help as well, and so I decided to get on board with whatever plan they could come up with.

Apparently the main problem is not having enough weapons to take on the vamps. My new pet Shadow-whatsits can't just take weapons from the institute because then they'd need to explain why they need them. The Clavicle would not appreciate or endorse my need to save Simon from the fanged and the fabulous. Or maybe just the fanged, I'm not exactly sure what the vamps social status is.

Cap, Isy-tron and Blondie keep calling the vamps Downworlders or whatever. I thought that sounded too offensive, so I've rebranded the word 'Downerwaffles'. I think that sounds much nicer.

Anyway, so Blondie suddenly had a lightbulb flashing to life over his head moment and now we're at a cemetery. I really hope the vamps don't live here. I would really hate for Simon to have been vampnapped by cliché vampires. I mean that would really just ruin the whole experience of rescuing him for me to be honest.

I might even have to _not_ rescue him if that is indeed the case. No one likes a cliché rescue story, that's all I'm saying.

Blondie looks at me with that annoying smirk on his face. I want to smack it right off. See how smirky he is when I run him over with my car. I mean I don't have a car. But I might consider buying one just so I could run Blondie over with it. Yeah, I'm that dedicated to my hatred of his face. His stupid, irritating, arrogant, handsome face. I hate it.

A lot.

"We aren't grave robbing." Blondie says.

"Well, we are a little bit." Isy-tron smiles a little and skips over a grave with an unnatural use of grace.

I loop my arm through Cap's, and he narrows his eyes at me. They're such pretty blue eyes. I wonder if he has a boyfriend. I'm almost positive that he's gay. My gaydar is legendary. It actually creeps my friends out how good I am at spotting the gay in people. Simon and Clary also tell me I shouldn't call it 'the gay', because apparently that's offensive. I don't see why, my friends who are actually gay think it's funny. People get offended about the weirdest things when it comes to stuff like sexuality, race or religion. I've never understood mindless hatred, and I probably never will.

Then again, I'm starting to become a bit prejudiced towards these Shadow-whatsits, so you never know.

"So what are we actually looking for here if we're not robbing corpses?" I ask curiously.

It's cold out tonight, and I'm still wearing that fucking leather skirt. Blondie offered to let me use one of his large t-shirts to keep my warm, but like hell am I accepting help like that from him. I don't trust him not to use it against me later. Blond boys are usually sneaky that way, be warned.

"Go around robbing corpses often do you?" Cap mutters derisively.

Catty, I like it.

I shoot him a sweet smile,

"Only when I'm not pillaging elsewhere before I go back to the workhouse."

Cap just rolls his eyes and sighs in my direction. I feel the love, I really do.

"We're looking for a cache of weapons." Isy-tron tell me. She looks very pleased about it. Then again Isy-tron looks pleased about most things for some reason.

I hope Isy-tron hasn't already fallen in love with Simon. I mean Isy-tron is hot, like for real, and if I swung that way then I would so completely attempt to tap that, but Simon is fully in wuv with my sister. It's pathetic and weird, but what can you do? Some people are just silly.

"Why does a graveyard have a stash of Shadow-soldier weapons?" I ask.

"Because all of the ancient religions recognise Demons." Isy-tron answers. "Or at least they used to."

"They forgot about the threat because we've been here to protect them." Cap says grudgingly to me.

"Pah, muggles!" I say, throwing my hand up dramatically, my over hand is still gripping onto Cap's arm, and I shake my head in mock exasperation, "Can't live with them, can't live...nah, I could probably live without most of them. Except Simon, I'd want to keep him. Probably. I suppose it depends on how grateful he is when we save him from the vamps."

Cap looks somewhat pleased by my response. Possibly even amused. I'm calling that win for the day even if we don't rescue Simon.

I grin up at Cap and he gives me a slight smile. Yes!

Isy-tron gives me a strange look. Her eyes flicker between me and her brother for a few seconds before she says,

"Why do I get the feeling that the world's most ridiculously unlikely friendship has just been born?"

"All right, that's enough." Blondie cuts a hand down between us. He looks at Cap, "Alec, go check over by the Angel."

Cap tips his head in a not and disentangles himself from me to go off skulking around the cemetery. I feel bereft now.

"Right I better go," Isy-tron says suddenly, her expression having turned mischievous as she looks down at her phone.

"You're not helping with the grave robbery?" I frown at Isy-tron.

"It's not grave robbery." Blondie mutters. I ignore him.

Isy-tron winks at me and says,

"I have to go find out how to get into the vampires lair."

Isy-tron skips off through the graveyard. I call after her,

"Go my pretty, fly, fly! Fly I say!"

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" Blondie shouts after Isy-tron.

Is she actually going to seduce the info out of someone? Blondie alluded to Isy-tron's 'fascination' with the Fae.

Blondie takes a step closer to me and asks, his voice low,

"Are you alright? I mean, really? After finding out..."

"What, that my father is actually a psycho?" I say bitterly. I run a hand through my hair and grit my teeth. Anger shoots through me, and I'm not sure what to do with it.

"I'm pissed off," I tell Blondie, "I'm pissed off, and I don't even know why anymore."

"I know this has all been kind of crazy for you, Ever. I'm really sorry you've had to go through this." Blondie says, and it's only the cincerity in his voice that stops me from snapping at him defensively.

There's something in his eyes. Something familiar, like I'm looking into a reflection of something I can't yet understand. When I try to read Jace, it's like trying to read a complicated book. Written in Latin. I know there's a part of him that recognises how I'm feeling.

"Do you ever feel conflicted about your father?" I ask him.

Blondie's father was part of the Circle a long time ago.

Blondie's jaw hardens, and an emotion like fire and lightening flash in his eyes. An old wound reveals itself behind those eyes. I don't want to aknowledge that I've seen it because we hardly know each other, and all jokes aside I don't have any right to expect him to bare his secrets to me.

"I'm sorry I asked that, Jace...I'm just all fucked up about my ridiculous life right now and-"

Blondie's brows draw together and he interrupts me by reaching out to touch my arm. His fingers singe my skin and I almost gasp at the intensity of the feeling. My eyes dart up to lock with his and Jace is looking at me with something like shock on his face. I begin to wonder if he feels the same intense heat that I do when we touch bare skin to bare skin. It's a strangely compelling sensation that I've never felt before. In fact I've never felt anything even close to it before in my life.

I feel my lungs getting tighter, making it hard for me to breathe properly. I swallow reflexively and try to blink away the blissed out fog that is beginning to invade my mind.

"I understand why you're angry. I was angry too, for a long time, about...a shit load of things actually." Blondie says, his voice breaking off into a self deprecating choked laugh. "But none of this is your fault, you know that, right?"

I move my arm so Blondie is no longer touching it and I feel a strange sense of loss.

"It doesn't really matter what I do or don't blame myself for. It's all still happening either way."

Blondie doesn't seem pleased with my response, but before he can say much of anything we hear Cap shout over to us,

"Over here, I found it!"

Damn, saved by the dead.

...

"Fuck, that shit hurts you know." I hiss at Blondie as he burns more runes into my skin.

Blondie smirks at me,

"This is for silence, it'll help when we sneak inside the vampire lair."

"Yeah, well, it won't be silent anything if I start screaming from the God damn pain from having you burn shit into my arm!" I slap his arm.

After we collected the weapons from the graveyard, Cap said he had to go meet Isy-tron so that we could come at the vampires from two sides as a group. I have no idea what use I'll be considering I've never really used a Seraph blade before. At least not properly.

Blondie completes the rune on my arm. He already finished the one on my chest, which is apparently for protecting me from a vampire's influence. Good to know I won't be enchanted by a fang groupie.

"Once we enter the building, they'll know something is up." Blondie says, putting on his more serious face.

I can't decide if his serious face is more or less irritating than his smirky face.

I take a look at my new jagged weapon and say,

"Don't worry, I know I'm new at this, but I think we could be great together."

"What?" Blondie practically yelps in surprise, his eyes blown wide.

I scoff at him,

"I wasn't talking to you."

"Then who were you talking to?"

"Tony."

"Who's Tony?" Blondie looks adequately confused. Good.

I give Blondie a look like he's a bit slow, and wave the blade pointedly,

"This is Tony. Tony is the blade. The blade is Tony."

Obviously.

Blondie stares at me for what feels like at least a solid minute, before he says,

"You named your Seraph blade?"

"Yes. Of course."

"You named your Seraph blade 'Tony'?"

"Well, no, technically the blade's name was already Tony."

"The Seraph blade...was already named Tony?"

"He looks like a Tony to me."

"He...it...an ancient weapon _looks like a 'Tony' to you_?"

"Yeah, I mean, what else would I call him? Bob? Phil? Karen? That would just be insane."

"Wait, ** _that_** would be insane?"

"He's **_clearly_ ** a Tony."

There's a long pause. And then,

"I literally do not know how to respond to that."

"I hardly see how that's my fault." I shrug dispassionately.

There's another long pause where Blondie just stares at me again. After a while I get bored.

"So, are we going in any time soon?" I ask, raising my eyebrows at Blondie.

Blondie seems to take in a deep breathe and then he shakes his head like he's trying to retain a certain level of sanity. I want to tell him that it's a lost cause if he's going to be running with me, but I don't want to scare him.

I follow after Blondie as he leads me down and into the building where they're keeping Simon. The plan is pretty simple. Or at least it seems simple to me. But then what do I know? It's not like I've staged many vampire rescue attempts in my life. Isy-tron and Cap are meant to distract the vamps, whilst at the same time me and Blondie are supposed to find Simon.

Hopefully we'll all get out of this alive. I remain ever the optimist in this.

I feel like it takes ages to search through the building, but it can't have possibly been more than five minutes when we stumble into a group of pissy vampires. Three of them grab onto Blondie and take him down to the ground.

Another of the vamps comes for me tries that vampy enchantment bullshit. I waste no time in icing that bitch. A rush of power vibrates through my body as I stab him with Tony. The vamp turns to ash right in front of my eyes.

Blondie is holding off the three other vampires pretty well, but I stalk up behind them, ready to cause some major damage. Adrenaline bursts through my veins like liquid lightning.

One of the vamps trying to off Blondie manages to get a good grip on my neck and he slams me into the wall. He bares his fangs all big and bad at me and sneer at him. There's no way I'm letting some Twilight reject kill me.

I try to thrust the blade up and into the vamp, but he takes Tony from me, ripping him out of my grip as he holds me against the wall. But Tony bites back and starts to burn the vamps hand off. The vamp drops Tony and twist out of vamps grasp as he screams in agony. Serves him right, bastard.

I swipe Tony from the floor and ready my stance for another round with the vamp. But just then Cap comes rushing in toting a bow and arrow, with Isy-tron right behind him. Cap shoots an arrow at the wall and a burst of light beams out from the hole it causes. The light turns the vamp who was attacking me to ash.

I two finger salute Cap,

"Good timing Captain."

"I live to be your backup." Cap says sarcastically, saluting me right back.

I can't help but grin at him and wink. Blondie makes a sound of distress and I rush over with Tony to help him. I take out one of the vamps from behind, freeing Blondie up to kill the other one.

Once all the vamps are turned to ash, Blondie looks over at me, something like awe and wonder in his eyes. I almost smile at him. Power still thrums through my body. It's a level of exhilaration that I didn't know existed. I want to ask if this is what it feels like all the time for Blondie and the others, but now is probably not the best time to share about our feelings.

The four of us go in search of Simon and luckily it doesn't take us long to find him.

Then again what we find is a vamp holding a knife to his throat, so its both good new and bad news on the Simon rescue front.

"Si!" I gasp when I see my friend.

"Ev's!" Simon exclaims. He looks scared, I that pisses me off. How dare this creature make my friend fear for his life.

I try to rush at the vampire with Tony but Blondie grabs onto my arm,

"No, just wait."

"Better listen to him Everlyna Fairchild." Creepy Mc soon to be dead vamp says, fangs already out.

"Si are you ok?" I ask desperately.

Simon just appears even more flustered by the question,

"Well, I wouldn't say ok exactly-"

"Shut up!" Creepy vamp snarls, his hand tightens on the blade at Simon's throat.

I narrow my eyes at him,

"Don't make the mistake of hurting my friend," I warn him, "Because I am not afraid to kick some sparkly ass!"

"Ohhh, frightening." Creepy mocks, "I see you have the Fairchild fire."

What does that even mean? I'm really starting to hate this guy.

"Come on now, lets move." Creepy says, and starts moving backwards with Simon.

The rest of us have no choice but to follow after him.

Creepy takes us all the way up onto the roof and then gets all uppity about me opening the door. Every part of me wants to kill him, and that's definitely a new desire for me to get used to.

But I manage to curb the impulse and Creepy shoves us all out onto the roof. Into the sunlight.

Creepy closes the door behind him as he runs away.

We're all left breathing heavily for a moment. Simon is the first one to break the silence,

"Shouldn't we get out of here?"

"Why Simon?" Blondie asks, his tone harsh.

"They're right downstairs." Simon replies defensively.

"Let them come up here. They'll burn in the sun."

Blondie stalks off up the steps to reach the higher levels of the roof. Isy-tron and Cap follow after him.

I fling myself at Simon and he yanks me into a full on embrace. Simon's arms hold me tightly and grip him just as hard in return.

"Fucking hells bell, Si, don't you ever do that to me again!"

Simon actually laughs,

"What? Get kidnapped by vampires?"

I snort into his ear,

"Yes. Exactly that. No more vampnappings for you mister."

Simon pulls back a little so he can really look at me. Relief so powerful it brings to tears to my eyes hits me then. I feel a strong connection to Simon, I always have, ever since we met. If Simon died...it would shatter something inside me forever. I can't lose him, I really can't.

"I'd go crazy if I lost you Si." I say, holding onto his arms in what has to be a painful grip.

Simon's eyes flash with an intense emotion that I've only ever seen a handful of times during our relationship. He cups my face tenderly in his hands and his thumb brushes over my cheek. It feels wonderful.

"You could never lose me, Ever. No matter what the hell happens to either of us. I'm here for you. Always." Simon whispers these words me, and it feels like something is caressing my insides.

A smile stretches over my face. I kiss Simon's cheek.

"I love you, Si. You know that, right?"

Simon smiles back at me,

"Course I know that. I love you too. Have done since...basically forever."

"Sounds about right." I say.

Simon brushes a kiss at the corner of my mouth and a little shiver courses down through my body.

Weird.

I suddenly feel something pricking at the back of my neck, and I turn to look behind me.

Blondie is standing at the top of the steps, looking down at me, an unreadable expression on his face. For a moment I think I see hurt in his eyes and catches my breathe, but a second later it's gone and I wonder if I even saw it at all.


	5. Bubblegum nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do NOT own Shadowhunters. Or The Mortal Instruments. The only thing I own in this fic is my character 'Ever'.

"Blondie Mc Block head blabbled something about you needing to see me." I stride into Isy-tron's room.

Isy-tron turns to me with one of her secret smexy smiles (alliteration worm hole!).

"What are you wearing to the Downworlder party tonight?" She asks.

I woke up from a nightmare about Magnus Bane this morning. I'm pretty sure he holds the key to my lost memories. Simon practically confirmed my theory when he told me that he'd heard Camille make a snide remark about it when the vampy empress had him held captive. I went to Cap and Blondie about my theory and they agreed it was at least worth looking into.

Now we have a meeting with the shmagical warlock Magnus tonight at some fancy-ass party. Hodge gave us a pretty necklace that used to belong to Magnus so we could use it as a bargaining chip. Apparently Magnus is a bit testy about Shadow-whasits. I can't blame him, they are weird. **_We_** are weird, I suppose I should get used to saying. It still feels odd to think of myself as one of them. I can't help but imagine how my sister would be handling all this if our positions were reversed.

She'd probably be doing a better job of it than me. Clary is usually the more serious one of the two of us.

I look down at my black jeans and dark blue vest-top with the words _'Bitch please, I ride a unicorn'_ printed on it. I'm not really one for big parties, or dressing up all that much even when I do go out. I prefer boots to high heels any day, but something tells me that won't be an option this time.

"I have no idea. This?" I try not to sound too hopeful.

Isy-tron actually snorts at me. I'll that as a definite 'no' then.

"No way, Ever. No Downwolder would be caught dead wearing that."

I narrow my eyes suspiciously,

"What, clothes? This isn't a naked party is it? Because I don't play that shit." Probably.

I've honestly never gone to a naked party before. Is that even a thing? It sounds like it should be a thing. I mean not for me, but for someone out there who likes partying and being naked at the same time.

"Don't be boring," Isy-tron winks slyly at me. "But seriously, you'll need to wear something more..."

"Fancy pants?"

"Sexy."

"Oh." I frown thoughtfully, "It's not like I have a load of sexy party clothes with me at the moment."

That only seems to make Isy-tron even happier, and she skips over to the bed.

"You'll have to wear mine, then." Isy-tron says. She picks up a pink monstrosity of a dress that was lying on her bed. It has sequins. As in, like, _sequins_. All. Fucking. Over it.

So much pink. So many sequins.

Just no. For real. If I wanted to be a giant piece of candy floss then I would...well I can't imagine such a situation ever occurring. There's being a imaginative, and then there's being stupid and/or blind.

I just stare at Isy-tron, even when she shoves the bubblegum poofy dress at me. I shake my head at her.

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"It's so pretty and-"

"No. If I wanted to look like a red haired Barbie, then I'd...well I'd be in an alternative universe where terrible things happen. Because that's the only way I would ever wear that dress."

There, thought of one.

I cross my arms behind my back, locking them together so Isy-tron can't force me to hold, or even touch, the bubblegum nightmare. Some things are just too wrong to even contemplate.

"You could just try the dress on." Isy-tron reasons. I think she might be pouting a little. Damn her.

"I could throw myself off a bridge too, but that ain't happenin' either." I say firmly, giving the bubblegum nightmare a full glare just to really get my point across to both of them. Isy-tron and the dress of Barbie doom.

"Fine!" Isy-tron says, and she flings the dress back onto her bed. She marches over to her closet and pulls out another dress. This one is a dark red off the shoulder style dress. It looks like it would be tight around my chest and waist, but after that the skirt flares out and cuts off at midthigh. The dress has a peasant bodice and makes me think of something a female Robin Hood would wear.

Not bad. I'd actually look like a warrior in that thing. A sexy one, but still. I could even get away with boots. Just as I'm thinking it, Isy-tron also pulls out a pair of red high heeled boots. They have a lot of criss cross lacing.

Isy-tron looks pleased with herself.

"Try it!" She demands excitedly, pushing the dress and boots towards me.

Damn it!

"Oh, alright." I grumble half heartedly, and I take the dress from Isy-tron.

I whip off my normal clothes and slide on the dress with very little difficulty. Luckily I don't fall over and face plant like I'd expected. I pull on the boots too, which is a bit trickier.

Once I'm all decked out, I stand in front of the mirror. Isy-tron is watching me, her eyes assessing.

The dress dips low and reveals most of my chest, and it show off my curves and figure even better than I thought. I can't remember the last time I wore a dress like this. Sometimes it's nice to feel...sexy. I mean, I always looks badass, it's in my unicorn blood after all. But this is nice too. I kinda look like an evil warrior fairy. Which is a whole fist full of awesome.

"You look seriously hot." Isy-tron says, completely unabashed.

I slide her a smirk,

"Yeah...but, the real question is...can I break dance in it?"

I start trying to dance around the room. I'm only very marginally successful. Isy-tron is laughing and I'm desperately putting all my concentration into not fucking over onto the floor.

I'm quite literally tripping with epic when suddenly my back hits a brick wall. A very Blonde and annoying brick wall.

Blondie grabs me around the waist to stop me from falling over and smashing my face against the floor. My hands automatically grab onto him, and I steady myself carefully.

"Try not to break a leg before we even confront the dangerous Downworlders." Blondie says dryly.

I narrow my eyes up at him.

"Don't disrespect the Downerwaffles like that!"

Ha, Downerwaffles. It sounds like an emo waffle.

Yes, I am that easily amused folks.

Blondie seems to get a proper look at me then and his pupils blow wide, the black almost completely taking over his iris'. A flare of something very close to _want_ and _lust_ travels between us, burning away the teasing and replacing it with a painful arc of desire. Heat sparks along my nerve endings, his bare skin causing mine to zing with pleasure. Excitement fizzes in my stomach.

My eyes lock with his and Blondie's grip on me turns from innocent to 'where is the nearest wall so I can slam you up against it and take ownership of your mouth'. I promise you, one look can really say that much if you let it.

I don't realise Blondie and I have been eye fucking each other for, quite likely, ages until Isy-tron clears her throat. Loudly. Blondie and I jerk away from each other. He lets go of me like my body scalds him to touch. I release his muscled arms from my death grip and take a few very pointed steps backwards.

Isy-tron glides over to us with a self-satisfied smirk on her face. Her eyes dart between us, amusement clearly shining in them. She loops an arm around my shoulders and says,

"Glad you approve Jace. Ever's gonna turn a lot of heads tonight."

Blondie glowers at that and I fight the urge to... I don't even know...kick him...maybe...yes, definitely kick him. He deserves it for making me feel all weird. For once I do not approve of the weirdness.

I mean this is so not the time to start developing sexual feelings towards someone who genuinely infuriates me. Maybe if my sister and mother weren't missing and Valentine wasn't my FATHER then...well, I don't know. But now is definitely not a good moment to get all twisted up over some guy. I do not get conflicted or giggly about guys. Ever. It's just not my style. I refuse to change that now. Especially for someone who looks like he could brood professionally.

My rule with guys, or girls for that matter, is strictly NO DRAMA. Blondie about is far away from 'NO DRAMA' as a person could get.

Clearly sensing the tension, and probably enjoying the hell out of it, Isy-tron continues to smirk even as she says,

"I'm going to see Alec...he never knows what to wear to these things either."

Isy-tron starts strutting away and I move to follow after her,

"Um, I think I'll go see Captain dram boat too...he...uh...borrowed...my...pen...I need it back...for...pen...reasons."

Wow, I'm bad at this. Like, so, _so_ bad. I'm actually embarrassed for myself.

Before I can leave though, Blondie grabs hold of my upper arm to stop me. On any other day I could just push past him, but since I'm wearing these fucking heels, I can't do anything of the sort. Something in Blondie's eyes tells me he knows that. Bastard.

I relent though and resign myself to staying in Blondie's presence. My skin starts burning again where his hand is touching my arm. I think he feels it too because Blondie drop my arm and backs off, a somewhat bewildered expression on his face.

"I suppose there's no use in asking you to stay behind tonight." Blondie says with a sigh.

"Nope. I want to meet this all powerful male Sabrina everyone keeps chattering on about." I say, allowing some of my excitement to leak through.

"You're not going to call Magnus 'male Sabrina' when you meet him are you?" Blondie asks, looking half amused and half horrified by the prospect.

I flip a hand back and forth,

"Only if he's as fabulous as I'm hoping he is."

Blondie looks worried again,

"Why do I get the terrible feeling that you and Magnus will end up being best friends?"

"Maybe because I happen to be a very likable person. I am a powerhouse of epic." I say, corrsing my arms and striking a pose of pure awesome.

Blondie pretends to stroke an old man beard and says,

"No...that's not it."

"I hope you get eaten by a flock of pandas. That is how much I dislike you right now." I grumble.

"Where would you get a flock of pandas?" Blondie asks, looking intruiged and confused at the same time.

Good. That is the exact mix of emotions I strive to inspire in all of my minions, blonde or otherwise.

I throw a hand out in exasperation,

"How should I know? Do I look like a panda expert to you?"

"What would a panda expert look like?" He says.

"I'm not totally sure. But I imagine they would own at least one pair of panda pyjamas." I say, thoughtfully.

Blondie does that stare-a-thon thing again for a while, but eventually he seems to give into the madness and asks,

"Do you still have your Seraph blade? Because you'll definitely need it tonight."

A grin spreads over my face,

"Do you mean Tony?"

Blondie rolls his eyes,

" _Yes,_ I mean...Tony."

"Then of course I still have Tony. He and I are ass-kicking partners." I say, because duh. So. Much. Duh.

...

"Everlyna Fairchild."

I was so right, Magnus Bane _is_ fabulous. In fact, he's like, fabulous personified.

There are not many people out there who can pull off glitter. Magnus does so in spades.

"You've grown into a beautiful young woman." He says.

It didn't take us long after arriving at the club to find Magnus Bane. He stood out even more than I'd originally imagined. In a good way though. He definitely looks the part of charismatic powerful Warlock.

"My name's Ever," I say, "Alternatively you could call me the weirdo fairy or, and more preferably, you could call me Ever the Unicorn."

"Ever...the...Unicorn." Magnus says, and he looks to Blondie with an expression on his face that clearly means 'what kind of creature have you brought before me'.

I shrug one shoulder and grin,

"It's my superhero name. Or maybe my supervillain name. I am as yet undecided as to where my allegiances lie."

"Oh _really_ ," Magnus says, drawing the words out meaningfully.

"No!" Blondie cuts in, his voice low and panicky, "She's joking. Ever is firmly on the side of the Shadowhunters. The good side."

Magnus arches one eyebrow at Blondie, and then his gaze slides back to me.

"You and I have different ideas about what constitutes the 'good' side, _Shadowhunter_ boy."

"Oh my smurf, _burn_!" I say delightedly, poking Blondie on the cheek, "You just got, so, completely, burnafied. Like for real, you're entire being has turned to ash from all the epic burn that just happened."

"Ever, not the time!" Blondie berates me huffily.

"Oh, well, now you've upset him." I say to Magnus.

"I'm pretty sure that was you." Magnus says diffidently.

I wave a hand and pull a face,

"Lets just go ahead and call it a team effort."

Magnus actually smiles at me then, or maybe it's more of a smirk. He turns a more serious look on Blondie though and says,

"Show me the necklace."

Blondie sighs and takes the beautiful red stone necklace out of his jacket. He hangs it from his fingers.

Magnus takes the necklace from Blondie and checks it over. Once he seems satisfied that the necklace really is the one he wanted, I ask him,

"Do you have my memories? I'd really like them back. Well sort of. Maybe. Kinda."

I'm not all that sure if I want to remember anything about the Immortal Cup or not. But that isn't really the point. If I want to continue relying on help from the Shadowhunters, then I'm going to have play their game. For now.

What I really despise is the idea of being a pawn between Valentine and the Shadowhunters. I could definitely do without that pressure thank you very much.

"I'm afraid I no longer have your memories. Or Clary's." Magnus tells me regretfully.

"Lost them in a card game, did you?" I say, nodding sympathetically.

Blondie rolls his eyes and pins Magnus with a harsh look,

"What did you do with them?"

Magnus appears bored in the face of Blondie's ire.

"I fed Ever and Clary's memories to a memory demon."

"Best kind of demon to give 'em to sounds like." I say.

Blondie cuts me an icy glance, which I pointedly ignore.

"Why would you do that?" Blondie snaps angrily at Magnus.

"To protect the girls and the Immortal cup, stupid head." Magnus snaps back, sounding irritated, "If someone had tortured me for information like they did Dot-"

"Dot was tortured?" I gasp, horrified by the very thought.

Magnus stares at me, seemingly confused,

"You don't know?" he asks.

"I don't know a lot of things, you're gonna have to narrow that one down." I say.

"Dot's dead." Magus tells me with surprising care.

Ice creeps into my chest, and I feel my resolve harden into steel.

"Are you sure?" I ask. I hear the coldness in my own voice.

Magnus watches me for a long moment, as if waiting for me to do something else. The moment eventually passes and he says,

"I can't feel her magic anymore."

That means fuck all to me, but then again, I never did get my Hogwarts letter in the end.

Fuck. Shit. Damn.

Anything could be happening to my sister and mother. Even just thinking about them getting tortured because of some bullshit cup makes me angrier than I can ever remember being.

And then of course we get attacked.

A man protecting Magnus gets murderafied right in front of us and everyone in the club starts screaming like the unhelpful banshees they all are. I take out Tony and scan the room for more threats.

Isy-tron and Cap take choose that moment to come skidding in and Cap takes out a bad guy with his trusty bow and arrows. I really need to get me some more weapons. Not that I don't appreciate Tony's contribution to the cause, but, you know.

More circle members come swarming into the club. Fuck. A. Duck.

"I'm too ridiculous to die!" I say, letting my irritation be known to the universe at large.

"It's 'too young', Ever." Blondie says, his eyes are darting all over the room as people run away screaming from assholes incorporated.

I glare at him,

"Oh, go step on a lego, I have shit to do."

I only have time to bask in Blondie's exasperation for a second before the circle members are on us. I proceed to kick their ass with Tony.

I'm in the middle of taking out a doucheclock who tried to poke me when another one comes up from behind. I gasp, knowing I won't be fast enough to stop him. I have a moment to be thankful that Simon went all diva on me this morning and stormed out of the institute.

Before I can get inappropriately touched a circle-butthead, Captain dream boat badasses to the rescue. He practically chops the guy's head off whilst I finish dealing with Doucheclock.

I go back to back with Cap. Blondie is fighting alongside Isy-tron as they try to keep the numerous circle members at bay. Magnus is bitch slapping everyone with magic, so I figure he'll be ok.

Cap and I fight together for good few minutes, kicking some serious circle ass. In between attacks, Cap manages to ask me,

"So...you good?"

"I'm a freakin' Unicorn Captain, I'm made of pure epic." I reply, having just enough time to throw Cap a wink.

"I heard the circle members talking about your friend Dot before they attacked." Cap says with a grimace.

That knocks the wind out of my sails a little.

"I saw you...you looked upset." Cap adds in a softer voice.

Does he...sound worried about me? He does! Yes! We have reached ultimate friendom!

Now all I have to do is convince him to dump Blondie and be my bestie instead. Or whatever that para...flannel...atai thing is. I could be that. I'll probably have to learn how to spell it first. That's probably a rule.

You can't be something you can't spell.

Unless you're like...a...frog...or something. I'm pretty sure frogs can't spell.

Or become Shadow-whatsits. Ha, Shadowfrog.

I reach out and slip my hand into Cap's. He flips me around so I can take out another circle member before flipping me back to his side. I look up at him and we briefly make eye contact. I nod at him and say,

"I'm not upset, Cap, I'm fucking _pissed off_."

Cap stares down at me, his cat-like eyes bright in the darkness of the club. I squeeze his shoulder and Cap looks serious when he says,

"You make it really hard to hate you, you know that?"

I shrug one shoulder and smile sagely up at him,

"You're a lot more likable than you think you are, did you know that?"

I can't say what it is about Alec, but something about him pulls me in. He's a troubled soul. He's constantly at war with who he is and who he thinks he needs to be. That's a fight I understand all too well.

Before either Cap or I can say anything more to each other, I hear Magnus call over to me.

"Ever! Come with me now!"

I look over at him to see Magnus standing in front of a portal. The way is clear for now, but it won't stay that way.

"We have to move." Cap says, and for once I completely agree.

Cap and I dart towards the portal.

"Guys now!" Cap calls out to Blondie and Isy-tron.

A slice of fear rips through me when I see Blondie almost get beheaded by a circle member. Isy-tron dispatches the fucker before he can though and then she grabs hold of Blondie, pointing him towards us.

Magnus grabs hold of my arm and yanks me through the portal with him. Cap, Blondie and Isy-tron follow close behind.

We arrive in what appears to be an abandoned building.

Until you hear the screams.

...

"Ok, so how do we summon the memory demon?" I ask whilst poking around Magnus's lair like the nosy bitch I was born to be.

When we got back to Magnus' old lair we found that it had been compromised. Circle members were attacking Warlocks. One master a-hole in particular tried to mess with this little girl. You better believe I owned his ass and then some.

Once we'd cleaned all the circle members out, I started poking Magnus until he agreed to help me get my memories back from the memory demony thingy. Of course I'm super excited to meet my first demon. I think we all remember our first time, and I want to get mine right.

"Are you sure? Summoning such a powerful demon could be lethal." Magnus says warningly.

I bounce on my toes and clasp my hands together,

"I know, it just sounds so exciting already!"

Magnus exchanges a look with Blondie that I'm pretty sure means 'who decided to make the crazy girl the key to everything?'. I am offended. And also hungry. For cake. And ice cream. You'd think a lair would be stocked with both. When I get my own lair, if I decide to become evil, then mine will have a dessert bar in every room. Truth.

"Alright then," Magnus says with a world weary sigh, "Pretty boy, get your team ready."

Blondie moves forward and starts issuing an order, but Magnus stops him midstride by pushing him backward and pointing at Captain.

"I mean _you_." Magnus says with all the subtlety of a giant balloon popping in your face.

Blondie throws Magnus a dirty glance and looks at Captain accusingly. Captain just shrugs helplessly.

I place a fist over my heart. A grin so wide it hurts splits my face. Oh my flip flop, that was the best thing that has ever happened in my entire life!

Magnus goes to lead me out of the room and I follow him. I walk backwards, smirking,

"You just got, like, so, majorly, burnafied. For reals. Like, seriously, major burns, _all_ over your soul."

Blondie rolls his eyes and mutters something like 'shut up'.

"Such a bad loser." I say, tutting at him.

Blondie scowls,

"What exactly did I lose at?"

"Life." I say, and then I skip off after Magnus.


	6. Bicker besties

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do NOT own Shadowhunters. Or The Mortal Instruments. The only thing I own in this fic is my character 'Ever'.

So, Demons are assholes.

Magnus did the ritual that brought the memory Demon to us. It backfired. Big time. We ended up having to kill the Demon before it could give us my memories, which made the whole thing a pointless waste of time.

As if that wasn't bad enough, I had another vision. This time I saw Valentine and my mother, who looked unconscious. He threatened me, which means there aren't going to be any daddy-daughter hang outs in our immediate future. Unless I decide to turn evil and give him the Immortal cup. An Immortal cup that I don't even have to give to anybody, let alone Valentine.

When I saw my mother, at first I felt a keen sense of relief, but that relief very quickly turned to panic. If Valentine has my mother then he could be doing anything to her. _Anything_. I hate that my mother is in so much danger and there's nothing I can do about the situation. It's even worse because I still don't know where my sister is. Valentine didn't mention her, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have her too.

Right after my vision I take a few minutes to officially freak out. It includes some pacing, eye twitching, and a lot of angry muttering that only someone living inside my head might understand.

Once I'm done with all that, I go to the only person who will listen to me and not give me shit, or even worse, get all protective and weird.

I attack Cap in a empty hallway of the Institute. For someone who's meant to have lightning fast reflexes, it doesn't take too much effort on my part to grab him. Of course within a few seconds he has me pinned against the wall with his body flush against mine and his arm against my throat, but I still surprised him, so point one for team Ever.

Cap's pretty eyes widen when he realises he was just accosted by a five foot eight teenage girl who wanted his attention instead of a scary assassin who tried to murder his face. I don't really mind all that much. Far be it from me to complain about being pressed up against a wall by a hot guy with an incredible body. The fact that Cap and I are about as attracted to each other as Simon is to me is neither here nor there. Sexy muscles are sexy muscles, not matter who they belong to.

Not that I would be apposed to it. In fact I can see myself having a hot casual thing with Cap a lot easier than I can see it happening with Blondie. Hell, I'd find it easier to have a thing with Isy-tron than Mr I'll stare at you intensely all the damn time just to be annoying. But I'm pretty sure Cap's sexuality is a lot less fluid than mine anyway.

"What the hell are you doing now?" Cap asks, instantly suspicious.

I grin at him, which only serves to make Cap look even more suspicious.

"I'm here to kidnap you and take you to my father who I have secretly been in league with this whole time. Like duh." I say, completely deadpan.

Cap eyes me seriously, but with a hint of uncertainty.

"You know," he says finally, "that could literally be the truth. Or it could just be you being your usual insane and ridiculous self. Nothing about you makes sense to me."

I try very hard not to smirk, because I think that really would set him off. I don't want Cap to actually blow a fuse.

"Oh wah wah. Don't get all snippy with me. If you really think I'm working for Valentine then your Sherlock skills are seriously lacking, Cap."

"Please stop calling me that." Cap says with a long, drawn out sigh.

This time the smirk cannot be contained.

"Never." I say breathily.

Cap rolls his eyes at me,

"You are so irritating."

I poke my tongue out just a little bit and bite the end. He's so funny. And weird. I hope Blondie is as nice to him as I am. I say to Cap,

"All I hear is that you _wuv_ me. Like, as in, you _wuv_ me in a very serious _wuv_ -like way. We are best friends. For life."

Cap looks momentarily horrified by that statement. Or maybe even the prospect of 'wuving' anyone.

"We. Are. Not. Friends." Cap says slowly, giving me a pointed stare.

I wonder briefly if he knows we're standing in the middle of the hallway with my legs around his wait, him pressing me into the stone wall, and his arm still against my throat. Not to mention that our faces are inches apart. I push that aside for two reasons, one, I'm weirdly comfortable right now. Two, because I really don't think he's realised and I genuinely want to see the expression on his face when he _does_ realise. I'm predicting that it will amuse me.

I say,

"I know you don't want to admit that we're best friends." I say flippantly, "And I know it's because of Blondie. But you don't have to worry, I am perfectly willing to be your secret best friend. I will be your friend-mistress. No problem. Blondie and you are friend-married, and that's cool. I won't get in the way of your commitment."

Cap splutters for a good few entertaining seconds before saying,

"Being parabatai is not being 'friend-married'. That isn't even a thing."

"It totally is a thing." I say, nonplussed.

"I am not arguing with you about this."

"Good, then you concede."

"No I don't!"

"Then you **_are_ ** arguing with me about 'this'."

"Oh, by the Angel...why do you have to exist?" Cap says dramatically, "It's like the universe sent you into my life just to torment me."

"I saw Valentine as a vision again. Like the thing with Dot." I say, mostly just to really throw him off his stride.

Cap stares at me, slack jawed, for a while. Then,

"What? How? What did you see?"

Cap fires off questions, looking instantly frazzled.

"I saw Valentine. And I saw my mother, alive but unconscious. I think it's because of my necklace." I indicate at the purple crystal hanging around my neck.

Cap's eyes flicker down to it, and then back up to look me in the eye once more.

"It's a portal shard. No wonder your mother made sure you had it."

Thoughts of my mother immediately push back any humour I might otherwise find in the situation.

Cap must read it on my face because his expression inexplicably softens. His tone is more understanding when he says,

"This is a good thing, Ever. Your mother is alive. Valentine has made his first official move. We need to figure out how to strike back. Fast."

Cap takes his arm away from my throat, clearly without thinking much about it. I quickly wrap my arms around his neck so I won't fall. Cap's expression is thoughtful and I watch him carefully.

"I'm on board with whatever plan you cook up Cap." I say meaningfully.

Cap stops frowning for a moment and meets my eyes again. He seems confused and resistant, but maybe a little pleased too.

"You know, Jace would be a better person for you to trust with all this. He would do whatever it took to get your mother back for you if you'd just let him."

I make a face, unable to help myself. Even though it feels weird do to so, I confide in Cap,

"I just don't know if I can trust Blondie right now. He's...too complicated. I need someone who will be unbiased. Someone who will help me who also isn't afraid to say no and mean it." I smile at Cap, "Plus, I thought we fought together pretty great last time."

Cap actually smiles at that too, probably by accident.

The thing is, it's not that I think Blondie won't help me. I know he will. I just don't understand what's going on between us, and that makes me nervous. I can't handle any more stress or unwarranted pressure at the moment. My main focus needs to be with helping my mother, finding my sister, and making sure Valentine doesn't go spreading his evil bullshit any more than he already has.

"I'll...I can help you." Cap says, but he's scowling, "I'm not sure what we'll do yet. But we need to move fast, whatever we decide to do."

I think that over. I know even less, far less, about this world I've bee dropped into than Cap. I feel momentarily useless, but I push that thought away. It won't help anyone to get all self-deprecating and emotastic.

"I didn't see anything that could help us in my vision..." I say to Cap, "...but I might have another idea if we-"

Cap and I are concentrating on each other and the situation so much that we don't hear the elevator opening at the other end of the hallway. What we definitely hear though is a coldly indifferent voice saying,

"I see you've made a new friend Alec. Would you like me to leave and come back when you're less obviously...engaged?"

Uh oh, that sounds like an angry mom voice. I've heard it enough times from my own mom to recognise it.

But it's definitely not _my_ mom, so...

Cap moves away from me so fast that he practically drops my ass onto the floor. I have to make a frantic grab for the wall. Cap seems to realise his mistake and he tries to catch me. We're already at an awkward angle though, which means instead of him steadying me, he ends up taking us both down to the ground.

I yelp. Cap grunts. We both looks like idiots sprawled on the floor.

I glance up and see a scary looking woman in fancy clothes that make her look like a lawyer from one of those Law and order TV shows. Simon loves the shit out of those things, and he usually forces me to watch whole seasons of them on Netflix.

This situation also reminds me of a situation I got into with Simon and _his_ mother. Simon and I were fighting over the Xbox controller, a fight I was of course winning because I am so clearer more badass. We started off on his bed, but after one false move we slipped and Simon fells off the edge, accidentally taking me with him. Simon's mom walked in on me pinned underneath her son in a way that probably looked far from innocent on the outside.

Scary lipstick lady is giving both me and Cap a very disapproving look. I can' exactly blame her, the situation doesn't exactly show either of us off in a positive light no matter which side you're on.

As if things couldn't get any worse, Isy-tron chooses that moment to appear from wherever the frak she was gallivanting around before. I don't see her, but I still know the exact moment when she clocks her mother because her booted steps stop cold.

"Mother." Isy-tron says, sounding distinctly uncomfortable.

I also know when Isy-tron notices me and Cap properly, because she makes half choked noise and says,

"What the hell did I miss here? I definitely feel like I missed _something_."

Cap seems to finally realise that he's still rolling around on the floor with me, because he quite swiftly gets to his feet. He offers me a hand without looking at me. When I don't take it, out of silent protest, because I SHALL NOT be ignored by my new bestie, Cap growls in irritation and picks me up off the floor by my waist instead. He sets me back down on my feet and lets his hands fall away instantly.

"Woah, Cap, are you ashamed of me? Of us? I am very hurt. I feel snubbed. I have been snubbed and it very painful. I don't know how I'll ever move on from this." I say teasingly, because Cap still won't look at me. He seems nervous, which, ok, I sort of get because of his hawk eyes mother.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Cap demands, apparently willing to forgo officially acknowledging his mother in favour of getting snappy with me again.

"About?" I ask, drawing the word out on purpose.

Cap glares at the wall over my shoulder. I don't see what he poor wall had to do with it, Cap was the one who shoved me against it. If anything the wall is just an innocent bystander in all this.

"You know damn well about what." Cap says to me.

I pull an innocent expression and say,

"You mean how you were giving me a three way cuddle with the wall?"

Cap looks at me, an incredulous expression on his face,

"How do you make everything, even normal stuff, sound epically insane?"#

"I have a gift. I was born with it," I say sagely, "And with great power coms great responsibility-"

"Stop quoting Spiderman!"

"How do you know Spiderman?"

"I know things."

"Muggle things?"

"For the last time it's Mundane, not Muggle, we are not in a Harry Popper movie."

"Woah...whoah...woah, hold the mother effing phone here for a sec. Did you just say 'Harry Popper'?"

"Yeah, you know, that thing with the wizards and magic wands and bullshit."

"It's Harry _Potter_ , God damn you!"

"Are you sure? I'm pretty certain the name of the main guy is Harry Popper."

"Go to so much hell that it isn't even funny, Cap."

He's so _weird_.

Somebody clears their throat. Loudly. Whoops.

"Alec!" Isy-tron hisses at her brother, her eyes flickering between Cap and their freakishly cold looking mother.

Cap cringes and turns to his mother. He tries to pretend like he didn't just get caught platonically groping a girl (although the likelihood of anyone believing that is about nil), and that he didn't just have an argument about Harry Potter with her whilst ignoring his mother for no apparent reason.

I believe this situation might be somewhat my fault. I _was_ the one who attacked him first.

"Mother." Cap says respectfully, dipping his head in a submissive gesture.

Scary lipstick lady does not look like a happy bunny. Or any kind of bunny for that matter. More like a viper. A pissy viper. And everyone knows you do not want to try and pet a pissy viper unless you wanna get bit.

I would rather keep myself bite free, but it's not like I can ignore this woman out of sheer awkwardness. Well, I mean, I technically could I suppose, but I have the feeling that this particular woman would sure as hell wait me out. Like a vulture waiting for a dying buffalo to take its last breath.

I raise a hand and wave. From only three feet away. Because I'm the biggest dork who ever lived. Apparently. Simon will be pissed that I stole his dork trophy.

Scary lipstick lady does not look impressed as she takes me in from head to toe. I have the strange urge to start dancing, but I think Cap might actually murder me where I stand if I tried to do that, so I refrain.

"Which one are you, then?" Scary lipstick lady asks, a certain bite to her tone.

"Which one of what?" I ask, knowing full well what she means, but unwilling to give her the satisfaction of answering in the way she wants me to.

"You're one of the Fairchild twins." Scary lipstick lady states primly.

I'm not sure what she wants me to say to that. It's not exactly a question, but she seems to be waiting for a response anyway.

"Nope, I'm afraid you're mistaken. I'm just a lone Unicorn trying to find her way in the world." I decide to say eventually once the silence goes the beyond the usual amount of awkwardness. I can practically feel both Isy-tron and Cap's pent up tension seeping into the space around us. It's very unnerving for me. I don't like that this woman makes them nervous, even if she is their mother.

"Ah, Everlyna Fairchild then." Scary lipstick lady says, her lips turning downwards ever so slightly.

What the frickaty frak is that supposed to mean?

"Call me Ever." I say firmly, "Or possibly the lone Unicorn, or maybe even Valentine's secret evil daughter."

"Are you particularly evil?" Scary lipstick lady asks, showing no emotion behind the question whatsoever.

I can play this game all day.

"I haven't decided yet." I say, flipping my hand back and forth. "On the one hand, I don't like killing people, which I assume is redundant to someone who's super evil. But on the other hand, I look awesome in a supervillain turned up collar cape. I would really hate to deprive the world of that sight just because killing some mofos makes me squeamish."

Isy-tron makes another one of those choked off sounds again that I'm almost certain are bitten off bouts of laughter. Cap just appears resigned to the whole situation, which is good, because I don't think there's any way to salvage it at this point unless he can turn back time.

"We know all about you in Idris." Scary lipstick lady informs me.

Oh good. I'm glad a load of strangers know who I am. That's real comforting. Idris is the Shadowhunter base, basically their mothership of hidden places.

Isy-tron take a few steps forward until she's lined up with me and Cap. She says, clearly trying to cut me off before I can say anything else to her mother,

"How's Max?"

"The little brother, right?" I ask, my eyes darting between Isy-tron and Cap.

"Right," Isy-tron answers with a smile, "Cute but clingy, kinda reminds me of Simon."

A fair assessment. Although Simon was pretty alright with going off and leaving me here alone with these people, so maybe clingy is off the table. Cute isn't though.

I miss Simon, with his stupid face and even stupider jokes.

"Robert is picking him up from the Mumbai Institute." Scary lipstick lady says, her expression has already become strangely dismissive. "Where's Jace? We have a situation that needs to be handled now."

Good question, where is Blondie? It's not like him to let me go wandering around for this long without trying to talk to me about something and bat his girly eyelashes in my direction.

Scary lipstick lady practically shoves past us and goes off in search of her apparent favourite.

There's a pause for a moment when she's gone before Cap, Isy-tron and I all speak at the same time,

"We should go see what she wants." Cap.

"Screw whatever else is going on, why were you two on the floor?" Isy-tron.

"Man, your mother's lipstick is fierce. Like a motherfucker." Me.

In the end I decide to go along with Cap's suggestion so that we won't have to answer to Isy-tron's innate nosiness.

...

So, turns out momma Lightwood is a major bossy pants.

She came to get all up in arms about the Seelies no longer wanting to be besties with Shadowhunters. Isy-tron volunteered to talk to her Seelie fwends, and after some unnecessary cutting remarks to her daughter, momma Lightwood agreed. She sent Blondie along to keep Isy-tron company, and ordered Cap to stay with me, much to Cap's chagrin.

I get why Cap is so uptight now, and it kind of sucks, because he's a great guy. Isy-tron is wicked cool too, and I don't get why her mother is so nasty towards her. It can't just because Isy-tron likes Seelie sex. If that's even a thing. It could be a thing. It sounds like it should be a thing to me.

"I can't believe I've let you trick me into doing this." Cap says, his eyes darting around uncertainly.

Once Blondie and Isy-tron had gone off to complete their mission, I dragged Cap out to complete our own. When I told him I had an idea before, I wasn't kidding. My mother has a box that supposedly belong to my father. She used to take it out once a year and get really upset over it. If there's something worth finding out about Valentine, then it'll be in that box.

Cap didn't want to go at first, something to do with a bullshit promise he made to Blondie about protecting me. I hit him over the head with a big stick until he gave in and said we could go back to my home and find the box. He would only agree to it if we wore shielding runes though.

Which is great. More tattoos that don't even have the decency to be black. Hurray for me.

"I didn't trick you into anything," I say as we walk down my street together. "You just recognised the superiority of my eureka skills."

"Do you even think about the shit that comes out of your face? Seriously, like is there any filter at all?" Cap says, shaking his head at me.

I roll my eyes and hit his chest with my fist,

"Oh, just loosen up Project Z. No one can see us, we're fine."

"Alright, and what if something goes wrong and we get attacked miss 'every little thing is gonna be alright'."

"Don't use Bob Marley against me you **_fiend_**. You have not earned the right."

Cap sighs, giving me another strained-stare.

"I mean it, this is a terrible idea." He says.

"Probably." I agree.

"But you said it was a great idea!"

"An idea can be both terrible and great at the same time, young bumble bee. Trust me, I spend most of my life teetering on the edge of the great and the terrible."

"That makes no sense! You make no sense! I hate this! And 'young bumble bee'? Do you mean grasshopper?"

"I know what I mean. I like bees better. They're fluffy."

Cap throws his hands up, clearly exasperated. He might be nearing the end of his tether again.

"You're insane." He says. "No, actually, its like you're an insane person who's been dropped in a vat of radioactive waste and have somehow been turned into a super-insane creature."

"Well now you're just being hurtful." I say, smiling big. Which only angers him further.

He huffs at me,

"If I thought I could get away with it there's a very good chance I would sell you on the black market to some Downworlders."

"Don't get all pissy with me just because you failed at flirting with Magnus on the phone earlier." I say, teasing.

Cap narrows his eyes at me, but doesn't comment.

Ha! I knew t.

"Everything could go wrong." Cap says with a scowl, changing the topic.

"It could." I say reasonably.

"And what if it did? What then?"

I shrug one shoulder,

"Then we'd be screwed."

"That is not at all comforting." Cap says dryly.

"I don't see how that's my fault. Stop being such a pessimist." I wink at him.

Cap starts sputtering again. But before he can argue with me any more, my phone starts to ring. I take it out, see Simon's name on the screen and answer it with an smug look at Cap.

"Hey Si? What's happenin' bruh?"

_"You know that thing when you think you're catching a cold, but you never actually get sick?"_

Random, but I can work with it. We've had stranger lead ins to our conversations.

"Are you sick? Are you playing hooky? I'm not calling your boss again to tell him you've come down with something, Si. He's already onto me from the last time when I told him you'd been hit by a car."

_"You told him I got bitten by a penguin."_

"Yeah, and that's why you were running out into the middle road when you were hit by the car."

_"In what world does that sense?"_

"Penguins are actually very vicious creatures. I've Googled that shit and everything. They bite. Truth."

_"I'm not arguing with you about Penguins again."_

"You only say that because you know I have the wiki page deets to back up my case."

_"Please stop getting your info from Wiki sites. Those sites are evil and attack you with pop ups."_

Cap is giving me a 'really, we're wasting our time with this?' look.

"Did you really call me to get snarly about my choice of research sites? Or was there something else?"

_"What are you even up to? I've been worried ever since I left, I should have just stayed with you, Ever."_

"Yeah, you're damn right you should have. But it's cool. I've replaced you."

_"What? With who?"_

"Captain dream boat is my new bestie. I've benched you. Cap has been drafted. Officially. He's right here with me."

Cap stares at me, horrified for the second time that day by me. I feel like I'm really accomplishing something with him. Maybe one day I'll get him drunk or something and he'll spill all his secrets.

_"Captain dream boat. Is that the one with the eyes and the face and the hot sister?"_

"Yeah, he's the one with the awesome resting bitch face. For reals."

Now bitch face is glaring at me. Good, good.

_"What are you and he-of-the-hot-sister up to?"_

"Stuff."

_"Secret shadowy stuff?"_

"Quite possibly."

_"Is it dangerous secret shadowy stuff?"_

"Nah. Maybe. Sort of. Kinda. Yes."

_"Ok, so those are all the options, thank you, yes, but which one is it?"_

"And the snarkmaster _returns_!"

_"I am in the building, baby!"_

"Tru dat, man, tru dat."

Cap is still glaring unhelpfully.

"You're going to hurt yourself if you keep doing that." I tell him.

 _"What's bitch face doing?"_ Simon asks worriedly.

"Nothing much. Which is kind of my point."

_"We're all just useless to you, aren't we."_

"Yeah, you kinda are." More glaring from he-who-lived-to-get-pissy. "I have to go Si, or Cap is gonna lay the smack down on a bitch."

_"Hold on! I'm gonna come and meet you, I don't trust anyone else to keep you safe."_

"Nah, Si, it's cool. I don't want to drag you under any more than I already have." Even though I seriously miss his face.

_"Too bad. I'll meet you at our usual place."_

Simon hangs up before I can argue. I frown down at my phone and then look up at a fuming Cap.

"Damn Muggles." I say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N-Sorry for the lack of Ever-Jace in this chapter. I just have so much fun writing the banter between Alec and Ever. x
> 
> Thank you to everyone for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. Please review! x


	7. Rhinestones And Unexpected Triangles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do NOT own Shadowhunters. Or The Mortal Instruments. The only thing I own in this fic is my character 'Ever'.

"Ever!" Simon calls out in relief as soon as he sees me.

I run over to him and throw my arms around his neck. Simon wraps me up a tight embrace and lifts a hand to slide into my loose hair. He grips onto the back of my head, holding me firmly against him.

Hugging Simon feels like coming home. Apart from my sister and my mother, Simon is the one person who has always been there for me when I needed him. He could make me laugh when I felt shitty. He would stand up for me against assholes from school even though most of them could have beaten the crap out of Simon. He snapped me out of it when I was daydreaming or writing stories in class, and he'd give me answers for my Math homework because I'm allergic to Math and all that it involves. Simon is my best friend, and I don't ever want to lose him from my life, despite everything that's happened lately.

Even if he is a blasted muggle.

"I'm here for you, Ever, you know that. Always." Simon says.

I pull away from him and nod,

"Yeah, yeah. I'm your favouritest person in the whole wide world ever, I get it."

"Well...that might be pushing it." Simon says, smiling evilly. "There's this new guy at Java who makes my coffee exactly how I like it. And he makes cupcakes. If I knew his name I might have asked him to marry me already."

I shake my head slowly at him,

"Really? That's all it takes? You cupcake whore."

"Oh, like you're so choosy?" Simon scoffs, "What about that grumpy guy? Spenny? You go to his bookstore every week just to declare your love for him."

"Um, that's because he's the love of my life. We are clearly destined to be together." I say, because, like, obviously.

Simon arches an eyebrow at me,

"He hates you."

"That's a vicious lie. How could you say such a thing? Spenny and I have a love story that will transcend time and space."

"He literally hides when you go in."

"Spenny is just afraid of our intense relationship. We will be together one day."

"He's fifty-seven." Simon says.

"Age is just a number. Our love is true." I say.

"He's married." Simon says.

"Only in the eyes of the law. We are soul mates. Way more important than any poxy marriage could ever be." I say.

"To a man." Simon says. "He's married to a man and they've adopted two kids."

"Why are you trying to harsh my mellow, Si?" I poke his nose. Hard.

Simon brings a hand up to cover his nose,

"Ow! Jesus, Ever, my nose has a bone in it you know. That shit hurts."

I look at him a little more closely, he seems...off.

"Are you ok, Si?" I ask, taking a step closer to examine him properly. Maybe he needs to see a doctor or a vet or something.

Simon shakes his head and waves a hand,

"Yeah, I'm find. Just a cold. Not the end of the world."

"The world's been ending for a thousand years. Best get used to it." Cap grumbles all stoic and pissy from behind us.

I roll my eyes and push at Cap's shoulder without turning away from Simon.

"Ignore him," I say, "Cap's got a bee in his bonnet about his boring lovelife and mummy issues." Cap sputters something boring and unimportant so I take my own advice and ignore him. I cup Simon's face in my hands. He really does look ill. Simon lets his cheek nuzzle against my palm, his stubble scraping my skin. "We should go take you to a hospital to have you checked out or something Si."

Simon's eyes widen and he dramatically takes a step back.

"No! No way."

My shoulders slump and I roll my eyes,

"Oh, don't be a baby."

"I'm not going to a hospital, Ev's." Simon says more firmly.

I cross my arms over my chest stubbornly,

"Fine. Then we'll just go see Dr. Stone, she can examine-"

"We are not gonna go see a vet so she can examine me, Ev's." Simon says.

"Why not?" I ask, frowning.

Simon sighs heavily,

"One, because she's a vet. Two, because I'm not a dog."

"Dr. Stone doesn't just treat dogs." I say, "She helped save Xander that time, remember?"

"Xander was a cactus." Simon says dryly.

"Woah, woah," Cap ways in, holding both his hands up as if in surrender, "Why would you take a plant to a vet? How did you even manage to kill a cactus in the first place? Don't they survive, in like, deserts."

"Yeah, Ever can murder just about anything." Simon says, "She even assassinated my Goldfish by over feeding it."

"Scaley looked hungry and I didn't know fish could explode like that!" I shout.

"You named your Goldfish 'Scaley'?" Cap says, eyeing Simon like he thinks he's an idiot. Actually, knowing Cap's opinion on muggles, he probably does think Simon is an idiot.

I hope my two best friends can get along. As much as a battle to the death between them would amuse me, we really don't have time for that right now.

"I was eight and not very imaginative, alright." Simon grouses, glaring at Cap.

"If you two are done giggling and gossiping," I say, waving a hand in between Simon and Cap who are now glowering at each other. Which is, objectively, kind of hot. "We have important world saving shit to do!"

"Right. Yes. We have to go." Cap says, nodding to himself, getting that extra-serious-no-nonsense face on.

"Our apartment is just on the other side of this alleyway." I tell Cap, "As long we stay in stealth mode, then all shall be well."

"Where do you get this optimism from? It's annoying." Cap says.

"Yeah, well, so's your face, but you don't hear me bitching about **_that_ ** now do you?" I reply, flipping him the bird.

"Everyone in the Shadow world is looking for you," Cap growls. "It's really dangerous for you to be here." He scans the area suspiciously for about the billionth time since we got here. He looks genuinely worried.

"I knew you loved me." I say, throwing myself at Cap and giving him a sideways hug.

Cap struggles to escape my tentacle-like grasp whilst Simon laughs his ass off at the expression of horror on Cap's face.

"Would you stop saying that." Cap says, "You're so _weird_."

"Man, just accept the love." Simon says through gasps of laughter, "It'll only get worse if you try and fight it. Trust me. I've seen her break down way crankier men than you."

"Listen to the sickly child." I say, giving Cap an extra hard squeeze. "When people say you can't force love it's only because they haven't met me or seen my epic skills."

Cap tilts his head up to face the sky and says,

"I blame Jace for getting me into this situation."

"I blame Blondie too." I say, "But for other things. Most things. All things."

"I just don't want to run into any trouble." Cap says, shaking his head.

"Seriously, dude, no one's gonna find this shortcut." Simon says, probably trying to sound reassuring.

Cap does not look reassured at all. But then he only ever really looks either angry or annoyed, so I guess we can't expect much.

"I still don't see why we had to involve the mundane." Cap says, looking Simon over again and clearly finding him...lacking. Which, by the way, _mean_.

I slap Cap's chest and say,

"Simon is our Batman. Be nice, Cap."

Cap frowns at me in confusion and opens his mouth to speak, but I beat him to it.

"I swear you better not be about to ask who Batman is. Because I will metaphorically divorce you if those words come out of your pretty face."

Cap opens and closes his mouth a few times, clearly unsure of what to say, before he settles on,

"I am not 'pretty'."

"Well now you're just lying to yourself." I say.

"Guys, for real, are we doing stuff or not?" Simon asks, gesturing at the alleyway.

"Alright, alright, damn impatient muggle, lets get this show on the road." I say, finally letting go of Cap and stalking off.

Simon laughs and runs past me. Then he goes all acrobat and jumps over a high wall like it's nothing. I frown after him.

I look back at Cap and say,

"See. Batman. Secret ninja stylie."

Cap rolls his eyes at me.

"Anyone can jump a wall."

I snort,

"Yeah, but I prefer the find a door in the wall and walk through it method." I point at a thick wooden gate set in the middle of the brick wall.

I kick open the door and follow after Simon. I feel rather than see Cap walking behind me.

"Have you been training with some Circus acrobats Si?" I ask when he practically leap frogs up a dozen metal steps onto a higher platform.

Cap and Simon both try and help me up. I slap their hands away.

"Stop being grabby," I tell them, "I can climb shit. I have skills. Many, many skills."

"I'm aware." Cap says.

"I know." Simon says.

Simon takes my hand and I let him pull me up and then down another two sets of steps. Simon's hand feels oddly cool in mine. I thread our fingers together. Simon smiles at me and it seems...different. I can't exactly put my finger on why though.

When we reach a back entrance I notice lots of blue runes covering the brick walls.

"Those thingies were not there before." I say to Cap.

Cap moves closer to me, his body rigid and clearly on edge.

"They're protection runes set up by a warlock."

"Dot." I guess, and a pang of something close to grief slams through me. I stumble a little and I'm caught by both Simon and Cap. I'm starting to feel a bit damsel in distress mode over here.

Cap's expression is somewhat understanding, whereas Simon's is just sympathetic.

When I get my footing back I move out of their grasps and take a few steps closer to the runes. I reach out to run my fingers along one of them.

"Some of these have been here for years." Cap says.

"Yeah, but now I'm full Shadow, so I can see them all." I say. I can feel something strong and magical thrumming through my body at the sight of the runes.

"Are all these tags those rune things?" Simon asks.

I blink at him in surprise, exchanging a confused look with Cap.

"You can see the runes?" Cap asks Simon.

"Yeah, I'm not blind." Simon says.

"They should be invisible to you. Since when do you have the Sight?" Cap is frowning at Simon now, his eyes assessing my friend in a different way this time. Like he's a threat. But that's insane. Simon is the least threatening guy I know. In a good way.

"I don't know," Simon says, "But whoever did these runes should take a lesson from Ever and Clary, their stuff is way better."

Simon taps tag that definitely isn't a rune. I smile. The tag is three individual stars. One for me, one for Simon, and one for Clary, with our initials in the middle.

I step up close to Simon and our shoulders brush. I reach out to push away some climbing vines. Beneath the vines is another tag. This is one Simon dragged me up here when we were ten to show me. The tag reads '? _Yarf reve em yrram'_.

Under that is another tag done by me that reads ' _Sey_ '. Then below that is _'S've uoy evol I'_. Finally the last line reads _'Is oot uoy evol I'_.

Simon and I used to write messages backwards to each other all the time. It was kind of our thing.

Simon touches my hand again and something like electricity shoots up through my arm. His eyes are intense as he watches me. There is definitely something different about him today.

"Are you two taking a trip down memory lane?" Cap says, ruining the strangely charged moment between me and Simon. "Because if you are then let me know so I can throw up in this corner from the all the cute that is happening right in front of me."

"Alright, pissy pants," I say wryly, "lets keep going."

I try to open the door, but it's locked. Damn.

Simon gives it a go and practically wrenches the door off it's hinges. What the hell?

"Ladies first." Simon says, holding the door open for me.

I fight the urge to question Simon about what's going on with him. It's not really the time. I can feel Cap's tension though, and it gives me a bad feeling right down to my bones.

...

"This floorboard is creaking." Simon says.

Getting into my old apartment was surprisingly easy. Of course it probably helped that the whole place looks like a set from a horror film. Almost everything is either blackened or turned to dust from fire.

Cap goes over to Simon and kneels down to lift up one of the loose floor boards. He reaches inside and brings out a box. It's the one I recognise my Mom taking out once a year..

"Is this the box?" Cap asks, his eyes flickering between me and the prism shaped wooden box. It has metal runes on it.

I take the box from Cap and ghost my fingers over the top of it. I remember that my Mom used to wait until she thought Clary and I were asleep before taking the box out and crying over it. I always wondered what was inside. Even now though it feels wrong to be snooping into something Mom clearly wanted to keep private.

"Yeah, this is it." I say.

Cap comes to stand on my left, and Simon stands to my right. Both of them peer down at the box over my shoulder. Anticipation makes me feel uneasy so I open the box. I'm confused by the contents. Not that I thought there'd be an address tag for Valentine in here, but still. There's what looks like a metal old fashioned rattle and white baby shoe. Neither of them are objects that belonged to either me or Clary.

"That is one badass rattle." I say to no one in particular.

Cap turns to look at me and says,

"You say the strangest things at the oddest times."

"I'm emotionally conflicted here Cap, don't mess with me." I snap at him.

Before he can reply there's a sudden crashing sound from somewhere else inside the loft apartment. Cap reacts immediately by heading towards the bedroom door. He turns back to me and says,

"Get what you need. We need to move out now."

Cap tries to run off alone, but no way in hell am I having that. Shadow-whatsits shouldn't go off on their own, it's not how things are supposed to be. I don't know why that feels so important, but it does.

"Stop!" I say.

Cap glares at me,

"You stay here until I come back."

"That's gonna be pretty hard since I'm coming with you." I say, brooking no room for argument.

I shove the box into a backpack and then throw it at Simon.

"Guard this with your life, Batman." I grin at Cap, "We got ourselves some asses to kick."

Cap groans, but doesn't protest as I follow him out of the room.

"Stay close to me." Cap orders, reaching out to grab my arm and yank me closer to him. "I promised Jace I would keep you safe."

"Yeah, well, maybe next time you won't make stupid promises." I say, feeling just a bit stung that Cap needs an excuse to want to protect me.

Cap frowns at me, like he knows he's said something wrong.

"Um, guys, I don't feel like we're the ultimate dream team fighting machine." Simon says, coming up behind us.

"That's just because you haven't seen me and Tony in action." I say proudly.

"Tony?" Simon says, "Do I even want to know?"

"No." Cap says, "Jace wouldn't stop muttering about the fact that you called your seraph blade 'Tony' all of last night."

"Yeah, she does that." Simon says to Cap, "Naming weapons I mean."

Wait, hold on, that reminds me...

I pull away from Cap and go running to my old room. It's a little less charred than I expected. I bend down by the bed and reach underneath to grab something. When my hand lands on a familiar object I crow with triumph. Cap and Simon come rushing in after me.

I stand up straight, brandishing my prize.

"What the hell is that?" Cap asks, staring at the object in my hand.

" _Kevin_." Simon breathes.

I walk towards Cap and stop right in front of him, only a few inches separating us.

"Cap, meet Kevin. Kevin, this is Cap. Play nice with each other please."

"Is that...is that a baseball bat?" Cap says in disbelief.

" _He_ is my sidekick bat. His name is Kevin. We fight crime together." I say.

"Ha! Crime." Simon scoffs, "You mean hitting innocent people in the face."

"Oh that was one time!" I say waving Kevin around, "You surprised Kevin and he was filled with bat rage. You only have yourself to blame."

"Kevin got banned from school." Simon reminds me.

"Oh my God, you hit, like, _one_ douchenozzle jock in the face and suddenly you're a dangerous weapon." I grumble.

Cap is still staring at Kevin.

"What are those sparkly things on it?" Cap asks, sounding dazed.

"Rhinstones." I say. "And glitter. And stickers. And glow in the dark stars."

Cap tries to get words out, but fails epically,

"I don't...what is...but... _huh_?"

"You know you should really learn to articulate better." I tell him.

Cap growls something potentially meanie bo beany-ish at me under his breathe. But then his whole body stiffens and he says,

"We need to go, _now_ Ever."

"Alright, unknot your panties Mr Magoo." I say, shoving past Cap and Simon with Kevin in tow.

Cap leads the way out of my old home and back out onto the fire escape. That's when I see something moving out by the trees.

"Stay behind me." Cap demands, and he takes out his bow and arrows.

Simon is still holding the backpack and looking twitchy.

I smack Cap's ass with Kevin,

"Move out of the way, dream boat."

I climb down the fire escape steps before Cap can kick up the fuss. Cap and Simon follow after me. When I reach the ground I see the same blur of motion near the bushes. Something I definitely here. I can feel my Shadow senses tingling. Like Spider-Man, but stupider.

Cap tries to aim his arrow at the blurred creature as it moves. He fires off a shot, but the arrow hits the bins instead of the creature. The blur suddenly heads straight for us. Cap lets off another arrow. I think it lands, but the creature keeps moving anyway, maybe a bit less blurred this time. The blur creature comes after Cap and I throw myself in front of him. I aim Kevin at the blur and give the creature a good smack in the face.

Blur creature stops being so blurry and makes a yelping. It's a wolf. A very weird looking wolf.

Cap and Simon are both standing around looking shocked.

Men are useless. Women should just marry bat's instead, they are far more dependable.

Cap, looking thoroughly disturbed by the situation, starts muttering,

"Am I awake right now? No, seriously. Maybe I've been asleep all this time and the last week has been a nightmare that I'll wake up from soon."

"Not likely." I say, and hit Cap in the stomach with Kevin.

"Ow!" Cap cries in outrage.

"Ever, stop hitting people with Kevin." Simon chastises me.

I raise Kevin into the air and declare,

"Bat rage! Hear him roar!"

And that's when a load of other guys I recognise as friends of Luke's show up. Oh joy.

...

"Why do I keep getting kidnapped?" Simon mumbles.

I roll my eyes at my friend,

"Yeah, how awful for you. Imagine how bad it must feel to be the one they all actually _want_ to kidnap."

"The vampires wanted me." Simon argues.

"Only to get to _me_." I say.

"Self-centred much?"

"Pipe down, four eyes."

"Low blow, Ev's."

"I'm stressing out here."

"You worried about your new bestie?" Simon asks knowingly.

I am actually. The last time I saw Cap he was fighting off four guys by himself. Four guys who clearly weren't human.

Simon and I were manhandled into a unmarked car before we could do much else. These buttheads better not have hurt Cap or Blondie will be pissed. And so will I.

Alaric, one of Luke's friends, and another guy drove Simon and me to the docks. They forced us back out of the car and then frog marched us into a small run down diner.

Now we're sat down at a table with tweedle asshole and Alaric sitting opposite.

Alaric leans forward on the table, his eyes focused on me.

"You need to tell us where the Cup is, Ever."

Oh for fucks sake, not this cup bullshiz again.

"I. Don't. Know." I say slowly.

Alaric's jaw tightens,

"I'm trying to give you a chance here, Ever. Where is the cup?"

"Up your ass." I snarl at him.

I am so tired of being screwed around by people who want this God damn super snazzy cup. I am beyond over it.

"That's it, no more games." Ass Mc hole stabs the table with a fork. A fork. Dude. What?

"Theo, just let me talk some sense into them." Alaric says.

Theo shakes his head,

"No. We tried it your way. Now we're gonna try my way."

That does not give good feels.

Theo gestures at another asshole behind us and he comes over to grab hold of Simon. Unnamed asshole drags Simon out of his seat.

"Tell us where the cup is or your friend dies." Theo says to me.

"I told you where it is," I snap at him, "Get one your buddies here to find it. I'm sure that'd be fun for both of you."

"Ever." Alaric says warningly.

Theo laughs dryly, he points at me,

"You got a mouth on you."

I bite back another snide remark, knowing it will only make the situation worse.

"Look, I have no idea where the cup is. I didn't even know about it until this week."

"Hmm, that's too bad." Theo says, he look up at the guy holding Simon. "Get rid off him."

Panic strikes through me.

"No!" I shout. "Don't you dare!"

Simon calls out to me as he's dragged out of the room.

...

"It's a fire. I'll take care of the girl." Theo grabs hold of my arm in a punishing grip.

The fire alarm has gone off and all the sprinklers are spouting water.

It must be Simon. I know he's ok, but that won't last long. We've been kidnapped by asshole werewolves and they'll rip both of us to shreds if they don't get the cup.

Theo takes me out into the night air and pulls me along with him. I try and tug my arm away from him, but Theo's grip is solid.

"Watch it with the bruising there, fluffy." I say.

Theo opens up a shipment container and shoves me inside.

"Stay in here and keep your mouth shut." Theo snarls at me.

"I didn't realise those two things were an option, dickhole." I snarl back. Like hell am I being out pissed-off by fluffy.

Theo slams the door closed.

I take out my stele and witch light. I know a rune that can open a door, but it's not like I'm an expert here.

I draw a rune on the opposite wall of the container. It lights up once I'm done and the container wall falls open. Of course that's when I come face to face with someone I didn't expect to see. Luke.

"Ever." Luke says, sounding relieved, "I've finally found you."

"Way to state the obvious there, man." I say.

Luke actually smiles at me,

"That mouth of yours." He looks at me fondly.

I find myself smiling back though, it's good to see a somewhat familiar face.

"We have to get out of here." Luke says, "These guys aren't kidding around. They will kill you."

"I won't leave without Simon." I say stubbornly.

"Ever, I'm trying to protect you." Luke says.

And I want to believe him. But I can't help but remember what he said at the precinct.

"You told those guys at the precinct that you lied all this time. That you work for Valentine." I say accusingly.

Luke sighs, his jaw set in a hard line.

"Please, Ever, I'll explain when you're safe." Luke comes towards me. I try to dart out around him, but he catches my waist and hoists me up into his arms. Just like Theo his hold feels iron strong.

I hit him repeatedly with my witchlight as Luke carries me out of the container.

"Put me down, Luke! I _will_ sue!" I shout at him.

I bite him, which does actually cause Luke to drop me, probably from shock more than pain. I tuck and roll when I hit the ground to lessen the impact. Without pause I get to my feet. I swipe out with my foot and take Luke's legs out from under him. He goes down with a thud. I know that advantage won't last long though so I take off at a run.

I look quickly over my shoulder and lob my witchlight at Luke. It hits him on the head. Score one for Ever!

Just as I'm rounding the corner my 'rescuers' show up in the form of Cap and Blondie. About time they showed up.

Luke is coming after me, but Cap and Blondie intercept him and knock him out.

Blondie grabs hold of my shoulder and forces me to look him in the eyes. That same lightning intensity travels through my body when he touches me. Even now, in the midst of all this, part me aches to be near him.

"Are you ok?" Blondie asks, his voice violently protective.

"No thanks to you, but yeah, I'm fine." I say. I pull myself away from Blondie, putting some space between us quickly so I can stop wanting to wrap myself around him.

Luckily I'm distracted by Cap who, shockingly, goes right in for a hug. He pulls me against him and I have little choice but to hug him back. He lifts me off the ground a bit because he's so damn tall.

"I'm sorry." He chokes out, "I'm sorry for letting them take you."

"You were kinda busy fighting the fluffy brigade Cap, no worries." I hold onto him tighter, burying my face in his neck.

I can still feel Blondie's eyes on me and it causes a shiver of awareness to shoot up my spine. Fire licking at my nerve endings. God, damn, what even **_is_ ** that? It _can't_ be natural.

"We need to get Simon." I say, pulling away from Cap and avoiding Blondie's gaze.

I can feel the tension between the three of us. And not just because of me and Blondie. Something must have happened between Blondie and Cap for things to feel this awkward.

We run off anyway and meet up with a rescued Simon and his rescuer, the fabulous Isy-tron.

Simon and I grab onto each other.

"Shit, Si, you scared me to death you moron. Stop getting almost killed by things, would ya? It's not good for my health." I say.

Simon just holds onto me tighter.

"Ok, I hate to break up this little reunion," Blondie says, "but we're about to be attacked by werewolves so we need to move."

Right, well said.

But before we can do that, we're suddenly surrounded by werewolves with glowing eyes and bared teeth. So not good.

My pet Shadow-whatsits go into attack mode.

"Stay together." Blondie says.

"With you on that." Simon says.

The alpha comes bursting out of a container and barrels towards us. My whole body tenses.

Out of nowhere another wolf attacks the alpha and they both go flying into a tower of wooden crates.

"He's challenging the alpha." Cap says.

"Go other wolf!" I shout, pumping my fist into the air.

The two wolves roll around, snarling and whimpering and biting at each other until one is lying dead. It's the alpha, who transforms back into a human. It's fluffy asshole Theo.

The other wolf steps out from behind some crates and turns back into a human. Or more specifically, Luke.

He looks rough, with blood and bite marks all over him, his clothes ripped and ragged.

"Luke." I say pushing out from behind Blondie. He tries to stop me, but I shrug him off.

Luke looks right at me and says,

"I promised your mother I'd always protect you and Clary."

Do you know where my sister is? I want to ask, but that seems spiteful considering what he's just done for me.

All the surrounding wolves tip their head up and howl.

"They're recognising him as their new alpha." Blondie says.

"You just got yourself promoted." I say to Luke.

Luke huffs out a laugh, but then almost collapses on the spot.

I rush over to him, Simon following close behind. We help prop Luke up.

"He needs serious help." I say. I look at Simon hopefully, "Maybe we can-"

"No vet, Ever!" Simon shouts in exasperation.

Damn it.

I let Simon take Luke's weight for a minute and go back over to my Shadow peeps.

"He needs help from a warlock." Blondie tells me.

"Onwards to Magnus' place then." I say.

Blondie touches the side of my face. I jerk away from his touch when our impossibly strong attraction simmers with heat, want and desire thrumming between us like a constant heart beat. A living, breathing, thing that could consume us both if we let it.

I don't plan on letting it do any such thing.

I nod at Blondie, ignoring the confusion and hurt flashing in his eyes. I go back to check on Luke.

"Lets get him into his car." Simon says. "I'll drive." I smile at him gratefully.

Cap stops Blondie with an hand on his chest.

"We need to get Ever back to the institute. She's not safe out here, Jace."

Blondie looks angrily at Cap,

"Ever's going with Luke. And I'm going with them. You do what you want Alec. Go back to the institute."

Blue fire ignites in Cap's eyes.

"Ever would be safest with all of us at the institute. You're letting your feelings for Ever blind you to the truth."

Blondie looks about two seconds away from trying to kick Cap's ass, which makes me feel uncomfortable for a lot of reasons. I don't even understand what they're really arguing about.

"Just go back to the Institute with Isy, Alec."

"I'm not leaving Ever." Cap says stiffly. "You're _not_ the only one who cares, Jace."

I want to say something, but whatever I do say will probably only make things worse between Cap and Blondie. I already feel like I've seriously fucked up something up without even meaning to.

"Since when?" Blondie glares at Cap, "You've never liked her. You let her get kidnapped today."

" _Jace_." Isy-tron snaps warningly.

"I know Ever trusts _me_ more than she trusts _you_." Cap says, but I can see the hurt written all over his face. It must kill him to have Blondie so pissed at him, especially for something he really didn't mean to do.

"Guys," I call over to them, "Whoever's coming, get a move on."

Simon and I help Luke into the back of his car and I slide in to sit next to him.

"You're gonna be ok, Luke." I say, switching my focus onto my newly alpha wolfed friend.

A few moments later both Cap and Blondie get into the car.

Simon turns on the car and drives.


	8. Maggie The Magnificent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do NOT own Shadowhunters. Or The Mortal Instruments. The only thing I own in this fic is my character 'Ever'.

"Jocelyn! Jocelyn!" Luke croaks out, his eyes glazed and desperate. He's looking right at me but I can tell he's not actually seeing _me_. His cries for my mother just confirm it.

I grab onto his arm and squeeze it tightly. Panic rises up inside me as Luke thrashes around on Magnus Bane's sofa. It's a very nice sofa, and knowing Magnus a.k.a fabulous incarnate, it's probably, like, a billion years old. Some famous monarch probably parked their arse on this sofa at some point in it's existence. Now it has to put up with an injured fluffy-man. I bet the sofa is pissed. If sofa's had the ability to be pissed off about things. Which they don't. Probably. I can officially say I've seen weirder things by this point.

"Luke Agatha Garroway! Sit still God damn it, we're trying to fuck up your one man mission to die, and you are not helping with all this random sofa dancing business." I shout at him.

"Agatha?" Simon asks from my right shoulder.

I answer without looking back at him,

"Situations like these demand the use of middle names, Si. You should know this. Didn't you get the _'what to do when someone you love is doing something stupid like trying their hardest to die right in front of you'_ self help pamphlet I sent you?"

"Must of got lost in the mail." Simon says dryly.

"Damn post office." I blow out a frustrated breathe.

"Is Luke's middle name actually Agatha?" Simon asks.

"It could be." I say.

"Right." Simon says. "Sure, sure, I'm glad we can all take this situation seriously now that we know Luke's middle name might be, but probably definitely isn't, 'Agatha'. I feel so much better now."

I pause for a single moment to thwack Simon over the head, steal his glasses, and slide them across the floor away from me.

"Ever! Come _on_!" Simon yells as he goes to try and track down his glasses.

"I'm too busy to deal with your problems right now, Si." I say.

"You were the one who caused the problem I'm currently involved in." He calls back.

"I stand by my original statement." I say.

Luke reaches out to me all zombie-like, which is really disconcerting. He cups my face and says desperately,

"Ever, you have to listen to me...you have to listen..."

"My ears are open and ready to receive, Sir." I say, leaning in a little closer to Luke.

I'm vaguely aware of Blondie and Cap both pacing on opposite sides of the room, actively pretending not to notice each others existence. If I weren't so busy dealing with the current crises in hand then I'd tell them to stop being morons and talk about whatever either one of them is having a hissty fit about. They clearly keep darting glances at one another when they think the other isn't (staring blatantly) looking.

I don't know what set off this whole tension filled argument thing they have going on. If I were just a little it more self involved I might think they were fighting about me. But thankfully, that isn't the case. Even if Cap and Blondie _think_ they're fighting about me, they actually very much aren't. I can only guess that Cap is struggling with having to share the affections of a man he clearly has deep feelings for, and Blondie is struggling to deal with the fact that his para-towel-bootay, or whatever, has certain feelings for him. The fact that I'm in any way involved is just a convenient scapegoat for them to use as an excuse.

Well, they can forget about me humouring them on that score. I'm staying well out of it unless one of them puts me directly in the firing line.

Luke's grip on my face tightens,

"I have to tell you something...just in case I-"

"Nope!" I shake my head rapidly, "No goodbye speeches. They're stupid in books, movies and TV shows, so they're bound to be even worse in real life."

I can't even fathom the thought of Luke dying, so I decline to even consider it as an option until I absolutely have to.

"Was he bitten by an Alpha?" Magnus asks me, leaning over the back of the sofa to check out Luke more closely.

"Yes." Blondie and Cap say at the same time. Ah, well, at least they're trying to be somewhat useful.

"Why does that matter?" I ask Magnus.

Magnus makes a face and pulls me back and away from Luke. A moment later Luke's body arches upwards and his eyes turn that vivid emerald green colour that both freaks me out and intrigues me at the same time. It's the same way a child would be both fascinated and repelled by a severely hot surface.

Luke's body continues to spaz out all over the place, whilst Magnus goes tittering off out of the room.

"Not bad mouthing your Doctor skills here, Mr Warlock sir, but I don't think he's healed yet." I call after Magnus, trying very hard to keep my voice level.

"Hold him down!" Magnus replies not at all helpfully.

I suck in a deep breathe and move back into my original position. Simon suddenly appears back at my side again and we both hold onto Luke.

Fabulous and working it comes striding back into the room and puts something in Luke's mouth that looks like a silver cracker. Hell, maybe it is a silver cracker, who the frak knows at this point?

"We don't have a lot of time." Magnus says, "It'll take effect in a few moments."

Kinda contradicting yourself there, male Sabrina, but I can't find it in myself to argue when I literally have no frame of reference for this insane thing that's happening.

"Fill me in, Doc, what's going on with Agatha?"

"Random werewolf transformation." Magnus answers, as if that should make sense all by itself, "It's a side effect of the poison in the Alpha bite."

So not helping with the calm atmosphere, folks.

Luke's thrashing and groans of pain go on for a while until he appears to settle down. I watch him with carefully concealed horror.

Or at least I think it's concealed until Simon touches my shoulder, jerking me out of my own thoughts, and he says,

"I was trying to think of a way to ask you if you're alright without sounding like an idiot because of course you're not alright...and that was what I came up with."

My mouth splits into a small smile, because, yeah, it's Simon, and he can always make me want to smile even when everything else is shitty. I reach up and grasp hold of the hand he has resting on my shoulder. A spark of familiarity passes between us and I feel instantly at ease. Or at least as at ease as it's possible for me to feel given...everything that's going on in my life right now.

"Well," I say with sigh, "to take stock. My mother and sister are still missing. Luke is kinda dying. You and I have been attacked and kidnapped at least twice in the last few days. I have no idea what to do or how to handle any of this." I meet Simon's eyes, whilst at the same time feeling the full weight of Cap and Blondie's equally intense stares, and add, "So, yeah, I'm doing great. I've never been so fucking happy or relaxed in all my ridiculous life."

I really wish Blondie would stop staring at me. His gaze feels like fire blazing across my skin. Cap's stare feels more like ice, but the concerned kind of ice, so it's ok. I don't think that made any sense, but roll with me here people, I'm just a young woman living on the edge of insanity.

"Your life's not that ridiculous." Simon argues, tilting his head to the side like a errant puppy. It's sweet, and weirdly endearing.

I arch an eyebrow at Simon,

"I have a special Angel knife called Tony."

"That is literally the least insane thing about all this." Simon says sincerely, "Besides, before any of this crap happened, you already had a bat called Kevin. So really you just upgraded."

"It's not a knife. The Seraph blade is a sword." Cap objects. He comes closer and looks down at me with that same 'I feel nothing. Beep. What are these things you humans call 'emotions'? Beep.' expression. I know it sounds impossible, but you really can fit all that onto one face.

"Thanks for clarifying that for us there, Cap." I say wryly, finding myself smiling at him, "I would be lost without you and your insatiable need to correct me at every turn."

"Well if you just said things properly then we wouldn't have this issue. My need to correct you is deep and meaningful. I shall not be parted with it." Cap says, and I think...woah...did he just...

"Did you just make a _joke_?" I gape at him.

Cap looks oddly pleased with himself. Getting Cap to display any personality at all, let alone a sense of humour, is like trying to trick a mime into laughing out loud.

I feel as if I've accomplished at least one thing today.

But even my vast amusement at Cap's outrageously smug expression and Simon's honestly stunned one, cannot erase the painful worry that is settling like coal in my stomach every time I look at Luke. He's the only father-type person who's ever been a real part of my life. The thought of losing him is completely indescribable. There just aren't words for how much I need Luke to stay alive.

I find myself meeting Blondie's eyes by accident, and get steadily pulled in by the same lightning powerful intensity. It rushes through my body like a drug and sets my nerve endings on fire. Blondie takes a step towards me, and in response I take one step back. I feel something solid behind me and realise I've backed up into Cap. I see a flash of confusion mixed with hurt in Blondie's eyes and I have to push down the need to tell him it's not his fault.

Dealing with conflicting emotions has never been my strong suit.

You'd have to be an idiot not to feel the tension in room, not only between Blondie and Cap or me and Blondie, but also between the four of us. Simon's eyes flicker from me to Blondie and back again a few dozen times. He looks uneasy, and I can't blame him for that. I can feel more than see the discomfort radiating off of Cap. He's clearly feeling things he doesn't want to broadcast, but I'm very adept at reading bullshit. I throw out enough of my own to recognise it a mile off.

Maggie the magnificent is either oblivious to the tension, which I doubt very much, or he's too busy actually trying to save Luke's life. I shouldn't really be concentrating on anything else other than Luke. But it's hard when you have three guys hovering over you like you're the special little snowflake they just have to protect. I mean, don't get me wrong, I have no problem with being a special snowflake. I've read YA fiction, I know how this shit works. The special snowflake gets whatever she wants, and I am not too proud, or whatever, to take full advantage of that.

Magnus, or Maggie as I've decided to call him inside my head, starts striding around the room carrying various bits and bobs.

"The bark will stop the transformation for now," Maggie says, and I assume he means the silver cracker currently shoved inside Luke's mouth, "but Luke needs an antidote to stop the poison in his system."

Great idea. Mission number one is officially established.

"I don't have all the ingredients I need to make it though." Maggie says distractedly, still going around grabbing and poking at things. I can't decide if he's actually doing stuff, or if he's just pretending to look busy so we'll get distracted and leave faster.

"What do need to make the antidote? It's not, like, the horn of a Unicorn and the tooth of a Dragon is it? I mean I can probably get those things for sure, but I don't really want to. I like Unicorns. I am one." I say.

Maggie waves a hand at me,

"No, you have to stay to be with Luke."

"I'll go." Blondie and Simon say in unison. Weird. Cute. Clearly their minds are synchronised. Perhaps Simon can take Blondie off my hands. They could snark at each other all day about their equally ridiculous hair styles and make out. I would totally be down for observing that. From a safe distance. Then again, that would probably hurt Cap's feelings if Blondie turned gay for anyone but him. Ah, such is life.

Si and Blondie share a mutual manly 'I don't like your face' look, and Blondie asks Maggie,

"What do you need for the antidote?"

"Hey, I said I'd take care of it." Simon says, his tone just a bit on the pissy side.

"Phoenix eyes, moon salt, Idris fulgurite." Maggie says, as if no one else is actually speaking. He keeps sneaking glances at Cap though, and it amuses me no end to see Cap pretending not to notice, or in some cases actually not noticing, which is somehow even funnier.

"I know a guy." Blondie says all ominous and shit.

"Yeah, well, I know, like, loads of guys, what's your point?" Simon says, attempting to walk (strut) past Blondie. But Blondie grabs his arm.

"I don't need him coming along with me. He'll just slow me down." Blondie says. His eyes sweep over Cap, like he's expecting him to jump in at any minute and say he'll be going with him.

Cap holds his ground though and doesn't say anything. I'm weirdly proud of him for not chomping at the bit to be alone with Blondie without me there. Although I'm still dead certain that Blondie and Cap need to have 'the talk', or at least 'a talk'. About something. Anything. Whatever it takes to stop them from being pissed at each other.

"Tough shit." Si says, narrowing his eyes at Blondie, "I'm coming with you. So deal with it."

Blondie looks beseechingly at me. I roll my eyes and say,

"You heard the muggle. You two drive safe. No talking to strangers or taking candy from people who drive white vans. And if they say they have a kitten inside the van, they're lying."

Simon snorts out a laugh and heads for the door. Blondie groans, as if spending alone time with Simon is the worst thing he can possibly imagine, which it probably is. But he goes after Simon anyway. Blondie gives Cap one more disappointed look before turning away and leaving with Simon. I hope they enjoy their quality time together. Either they'll come back friends or one of them won't come back at all. Because that person will be dead.

I look up at Cap and ask,

"What? You don't want to go?"

Cap frowns at me, blue eyes flashing hotly,

"And leave you here alone and unsupervised? I think not." He crosses his arms, his lips quirk up ever so slightly, "You could hurt someone."

I poke my tongue out at him.

"Bite me, you massive angry penguin."

"Penguin?" Cap asks, looking genuinely baffled.

"It's a whole gay thing. Don't worry about it." I say, patting him on the arm.

Cap shifts nervously, his hands clenching into fists and then unclenching. I can feel him dragging all of his emotions kicking and screaming back into a box inside his head.

"You having issues with your Shadowboyfriend?" Maggie asks slyly, eyes darting between Cap and the doorway.

Cap lets out a very loud and heavy sigh.

"I can't believe I've trapped myself in here with you two." Cap mutters.

"Yeah, well, life's a bitch and then you die. Suck it up, pretty boy." I say with forced cheer.

Maggie smiles at me,

"I think I like you."

"Everyone does." Cap complains, "And I have no idea why. She's really annoying."

"He wuvs me." I tell Maggie, completely ignoring Cap, "He wuvs me long time."

"I can see that." Maggie says, nodding agreeably at Cap, who very quickly turns awkward and dorky with Maggie paying so much direct attention to him.

Ha! At the very least I'll have these two to entertain me all day.

...

"So are you gonna tell me what Luke's so desperate to tell me, or should I just guess?" I smooth a hand over Luke's forehead and look up at Maggie.

"Everything your mother wanted to hide from you and Clary." Maggie says.

I just stare at him.

"That is literally the least helpful thing you could have possibly said in response my question. In fact I think that might be the least helpful response to any and all questions that exist inside my head."

Maggie just gives me a long suffering sigh and says,

"Maybe it would help if I told you a few things about your parent's past."

I flop down into a very uncomfortable looking chair, because I'm tired of standing around watching Maggie witchy woo around the room whilst at the same time Cap shuffles a couple of inches every few seconds. He looks like he wishes he were anywhere but here. I almost want to tell him to go back to the Institute so he can regroup, but Maggie said he would need Cap for the antidote for Luke.

"Alright," I say to Maggie, firing off a pretend gun at him with my fingers, "but leave out all the parental sex parts. There are some things that just don't need to be known."

Cap chokes on oxygen and I frown at him in genuine concern.

"Are you dying?" I ask worriedly, "Because this really isn't the time for that Cap. I already have one friend down for the count, I don't need to be worrying about you too."

"I think you damaged his cute Shadowhunter sensibilities." Maggie says, an amused smirk on his face aimed at Cap.

"I'm fine." Cap says gruffly, abjectly refusing to look at either me or Maggie. For vastly different reasons I'm sure.

Maggie and I stare at Cap for a long time, for comedic purposes, and we are not disappointed when Cap finally snaps. He gives us the full power of his glaratude and then flounces out the room with a vague 'I need the bathroom' thrown over his shoulder.

Maggie raises an eyebrow at me,

"Hot and shy, or hot and repressed?"

I shake my head slightly and reply,

"Try hot, shy, repressed and has a mother who defines the word 'disapproving'."

Maggie nods as if that is exactly what he expected. Hell, maybe it is. Maggie might be better at reading Cap than I am.

"Right so, back to me." I say, dragging Maggie attentions back to the matter at hand. Ish.

Maggie starts pacing, but politely so it's ok.

"When I first heard about your father-"

"You mean the evil douchecanoe who contributed to my existence."

"-around the time when he and Jocelyn got together-"

"When dinosaurs roamed the earth and everyone carried around big radios for serenading/basket ball background music opportunities, sure."

"-long before the Uprising and the Circle, Valentine elevated the Morgenstern name to be synonymous with virtue-"

"Look at Dad being all saintly and shit."

"-and your mother was at his side."

"Had a thing for the bad boys pretending to be good boys? Makes sense." I say thoughtfully.

"But by the time my people came to know him-"

"By 'your people' do you mean witchy folk or people who can pull off glitter eye liner?"

"-his name had become synonymous with devastation."

"Bad evil dad. Bad."

"Your mother told me it was then that she first saw the signs."

"Oh God, not the signs!"

"Valentine killed Warlocks. He thought the Accords were getting in the way of Shadowhunters fulfilling their true destiny."

"Well boo hoo for the Shadowpuppets. That's no reason to go all psycho."

"We'd all stood with the Clave for centuries." Maggie pours himself some expensive looking whiskey and stands ominously by the window.

"Valentine lost his shit. Just because Downwolders are half demon doesn't mean they deserve to be condemned for existing." I say, although I feel as if I might be preaching to the choir here.

"He was obsessed with purity of blood. Convinced that the impurities were a threat to peace."

"Oh yeah, sure, blame the impurities for the destruction of peace and not the mass murder he committed. Because that makes sense."

"He hated us, Ever. He hated my kind, all the Downwolders, for having gifts he could never posses. He hated us enough to kill us for it." Maggie bites out the words, as if they taste like bile in his mouth.

"Can I have one of those?" I gesture at his drink.

Maggie goes to pour a glass and then hands it to me.

"Thanks."

I swallow a mouthful of the hazel liquid, it burns my throat pleasantly. I marvel at the taste for a moment. It's been a while since I've had anything this strong, or as satisfying.

"Ever since I found out about all this, I've been unsure about where I'm supposed to stand." I say, meeting Maggie's eyes, "Some Downworlders have tried to hurt me, but others have helped me. Just like the Shadowhunters. I don't know who to trust. But I do know that Valentine was wrong to persecute so many people for the actions of a few."

"He was blinded by the need for power." Maggie says grittily.

"I don't understand how the Clave let all this happen though." I say, shaking my head.

"Oh, Valentine was clever. He and his followers managed to convince the Clave that the Downworlders they killed on their special missions had violated the Accords in some way."

"Sounds like bullshit to me." I say, "And if I can see that then there's no reason why the Clave shouldn't have been able to see it as well."

Maggie blows out a breathe,

"Shadowhunters belief in the law is absolute. They could never conceive of one of their own going astray."

I let out a sound that isn't quite a laugh.

"'Astray' is putting what Valentine did a bit lightly. He murdered loads of Downworlders and manipulated his own people into committing terrible crimes."

"What happened back then is happening again. The Clave refuses to believe that Valentine is a threat." Maggie says vehemently, "Nineteen years ago the Clave's lack of vision allowed the Circle almost decimate the entire Shadow World."

"I take it that was the Uprising."

"Yes. Valentine wanted to create a new Shadowhunter army. And for that he needed the Mortal cup-"

"Oh not that pissing cup again. After we find it I swear if I never heard about it again for the rest of my life I'll die happy."

"He knew it would be on display at the signing of the Accords, as a show of the Clave's power-"

"The Clavicle sounds like it's made up of assholes. I'm just putting that out there."

"Valentine used the opportunity to accomplish everything that he ever wanted-"

"Ice cream factory. Jet ski. Pet Dragon...wait, hold on, those are all the things that _I_ want..."

"-Destroy the Accords, kill all the Downworlders, and secure the cup."

"Sounds boring. Who doesn't at least _think_ about owning a Jet ski? Shaped like a dragon. Whilst running your own ice cream factory."

Cap comes walking back in right as I say that last sentence. His disbelieving eyes dart over to me and he says,

"All I heard was ''Jet ski' and 'ice cream factory'. Based on those two things alone, I can safely say that I don't think I want to be a part of whatever discussion you two are having."

I roll my eyes at him,

"We're talking about Valentine and the Clave."

Cap looks instantly confused.

"How...why...what does ice cream...have to do with...the Clave?"

Cap looks hopefully at Maggie, maybe thinking he'll explain it in semi-sane way. Maggie looks just as stumped at Cap though and says,

"I literally don't know what's been going on for the last ten minutes. There were Shadowpuppets involved at some point I believe."

Am I the only one who pays attention around here?

"How did my Mom and Luke go from being part of the Circle to betraying Valentine?" I ask Maggie.

"Jocelyn and Luke did their best to stop Valentine. If it weren't for them then the Circle would have won." Maggie says seriously.

Luke suddenly makes a groaning sound of displeasure and I'm immediately distracted again.

"Luke!" I rush over to him, dropping my glass onto the table and kneeling down next to Luke.

"The magic's wearing off." Maggie says.

Cap is at my side in an instant and I feel weirdly reassured by his presence.

Luke begins struggling and calling out,

"It was our fault. It was our fault!"

Luke's body arches up at a horribly painful angle and my panic level shoots up another few notches.

Maggie kneels down and splays his hands out over Luke. A light blue energy appears, supposedly magic. It calmed Luke down last time, but it took a lot out of Maggie before. I don't think he's strong enough right now.

"I need help." Maggie says, his voice strained.

Cap's expression becomes determined and he squeezes my shoulder.

"Move." Cap says to me. I obey, conscious of the knowing tone.

Cap offers Maggie his hand.

"Take what you need."

Maggie doesn't hesitate to grab onto Cap's offered hand. His magic becomes brighter and more intense.

Simon and Blondie come skidding into the room a moment later. I get to my feet and stride over to them.

"Do you have it?" I ask.

Blondie hands me a bag of ingredients. I take them from him and run to the antidote that Maggie had been preparing for the last hour. I add the new ingredients and stir it, before pouring some of the antidote into a silver cup.

I take the antidote over to Luke, Blondie and Simon following closely after me. Luke swallows the antidote when I gently tip it into his mouth. Almost instantly his body stops convulsing.

Maggie practically faints against Cap. Hell, I almost faint from relief when Luke opens his now clear eyes and looks up at me.

...

"Thank you, Cap." I say, snagging hold of Cap's arm and pulling him around to look at me.

He and I are alone for the moment. The others are distracted elsewhere, and I'm glad because I wanted the chance to thank Cap properly.

Cap looks reluctantly pleased and says,

"Yeah, well, if we're going to actually do this whole 'friends' thing then I guess part of that is not letting your sort step father wolf die right in front of me if I can do something to help."

I grin up at him,

"That's the spirit!"

I throw myself at Cap without warning, purposefully so he doesn't have the time to run away. I wrap my arms around his neck and yanks him down into a full on fwend-thanks hug. I almost explode with joyful surprise when Cap actually properly hugs me back, his strong arms holding me tightly and everything.

Cap picks me up off the ground a few inches and I can't stop myself from laughing.

"If you spin me around, I will mock you until the end of time Captain dream boat."

"If I ever spin anyone around," Cap says against my ear, "then I give you full permission to shoot me with an arrow, because that's never the type of person I want to be."

"No worries," I say, "That's what friends are for. To stop you from doing Disney-ish things and promising to shoot you out of love for doing unacceptable stuff."

Cap actually laughs, which sets me off as well.

I belatedly realise that we're still hugging like clingy crabs when someone clears their throat. Someone who definitely isn't me or Cap.

Cap and I spring apart so fast that I've surprised we don't create cartoon dust clouds.

I turn to face Blondie. A shot of undeniable awareness travels up through my body when our eyes connect and lock instinctively.

Blondie is watching us warily, with possible confusion in his eyes. But he doesn't seem outwardly hostile towards Cap anymore. Maybe just a bit perplexed.

Cap holds his hand out to Blondie, as if calling for a truce, or hopefully a ceasefire in silent boy language. I can only pretend to understand it, what with me not being a boy and all.

Blondie takes his cue and instead of just shaking hands, he pulls Cap in for a brief man-hug. It's a thing. I promise.

"Ah, look at you two, so full of wuv." I say mock dreamily, then I realise something and glare at them. "Hold on, back off Blondie, Cap is my new best friend. Get your own."

"He was already my friend before you even got here." Blondie says defensively.

Cap looks freaked out by the fact that Blondie and I are technically fighting over him. Sort of.

"Yeah," Cap says, "You two continue...whatever...this is...and I'll just..."

"Bathroom?" I offer.

Cap nods gratefully,

"Yep, good, bathroom...um...that way." He points towards the hall.

Cap leaves the room with a final 'look' at me. I smirk at him in return.

I'm left alone with Blondie. I feel instantly tense. It's not because I think Blondie will necessarily do anything. He doesn't have to do anything. His mere presence, especially so close to me, makes my body go all weird and want-y.

Blondie's gaze travels the length of me before reaching my eyes again. I barely contain the need to shiver, damn him.

"You have a weird effect on people, Everlyna Fray." He says. It sounds oddly like a question even though it isn't one.

"Cap and I are new besties. I expect him to dump you any day now and agree to be my new partner."

Blondie snorts out a laugh,

"Partner? In what? Crime?"

"He should be so lucky. I have very high standards for who I let commit acts of unlawful intent with me."

"I can see that."

"Thanks for helping me with Luke." I say, because it needs to be said even though half of me wants to kick Blondie right now and make a run for it. He deserves my thanks though. And you shouldn't kick people who you thank. It gives off the wrong impression, like you don't really mean it.

"You're thanking me for running an errand." Blondie quirks an eyebrow at me.

"And for playing nice with Simon." I say suggestively.

"Don't even go there." Blondie warns.

"Ha! I knew it! You and Simon are going to become secret besties just like me and Cap, although obviously not as close because me and Cap are the ultimate best friends in the whole world ever." I grin at Blondie.

Blondie raises a hand and brushes some stray locks of hair away from my face. I start a little at the contact. The skin of his fingers brushing against my cheek sends jolts of warmth shooting through me. His eyes are so intently focused on my face, like nothing else but me exists for him right now. It's not something I'm used to. Although how anyone could be used to something so extremely immense is unfathomable to me.

"I just want to help you, Ever. _Let_ me help you." Blondie says, his face set with something close to longing.

I allow myself to lean into Blondie touch for a few brief moments and Blondie moves closer to me. We're pulled towards each other like magnets, repelled and attracted at the same time.

Our bubble of mutual attraction is smashed to pieces by Simon when he calls out my name from the doorway. I break away from Blondie even more violently than I did with Cap a few minutes before.

Wow, I'm kind of a moment whore these days.

I look at Simon and he smiles at me uneasily.

"Luke's asking for you."

"Right." I nod a few times, avoiding Blondie's eyes and walk past him towards Simon.

I stop in front of Simon and lean forward to kiss the corner of his mouth.

"Thanks for everything today, Si."

Simon nods, but doesn't say anything. I have the oddest sensation that I've done something wrong. But I don't have the energy to work out what that is right this minute. I make a note to talk to Simon properly soon.

I go to the bedroom where Maggie has Luke settled. As soon as I enter the room and I lock eyes with Luke, all I can think to say is

"We have some serious shit to talk about Luke."

Luke looks pained, but not physically, more mentally than anything.

"I know," he says, "There are things you need to know if you have any hope of finding the cup."

I'm really starting to effing hate that damn cup. I hope when I finally have the cup that the Shadowpuppets will let me destroy the stupid thing. I'll use Kevin to smoosh it to death.

But first I have to find it.


	9. Live High, Die Hard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do NOT own Shadowhunters. Or The Mortal Instruments. The only thing I own in this fic is my character 'Ever'.

"I'll leave you two alone." Maggie gives Luke one last pat on the head before sweeping out of the room.

Maggie stops at the doorway to say to me,

"Play nicely."

I quirk an eyebrow at him,

"I can promise not to murder him in a deeply horrifying fashion, but that's as far as it goes."

Maggie grins just a little bit and says,

"I'll take it."

Luke sits up in bed once Maggie is gone, and I take a few more steps into the bedroom.

"Well, well, well," I cross my arms, "if it isn't the secret fluffy man who never thought it was a good idea to tell me about Shadowpuppets. How's that working out for ya?"

"We thought you and your sister would hate us." Luke argues.

"For what?" I glare at him, "It's not like you had any control over what we are."

Luke sighs, like he's got something to be upset about.

Well, alright, maybe the almost dying thing was pretty dramatic.

"You still don't have all information you'll need to find the mortal cup." Luke says.

And I mean, obviously. It's not like my current pet Shadowpuppets have been fountains of knowledge. They barely know any more of our history than I do.

"Well are you going to tell me this top secret never before seen on screen information or do I have to compete for the honour first?" I say wryly.

"Of course I'll tell you." Luke says earnestly. "Magnus told you about-"

I cut him off,

"The Uprising bullshit and the all the people my bio-dad slaughtered, yeah, consider me informed."

"Your father-" Luke bites out, "wasn't always the man who did those terrible things. Jocelyn and I made him that man when we betrayed him."

That settles in my stomach like acid.

"What did you do? Built a clubhouse and then refused to let him come in? Took his favourite nightlight rock? Called him a meanie bo beany to his face? Told him his black cargo pants made him look fat? Said his Angel sword was too pointy? What?"

All those things would be legitimate reasons to kick off a war and try your hand at genocide.

"Your mother and I..." Luke looks away from me, "...we fell in love."

Um, o- _kay_ then. Throw me a curve ball why don't you.

"So you stole mom from my bio-dad and instead of asking for a divorce like a normal sane person, he...decided all Downerwaffles must die?"

Bit of a leap.

"No!" Luke exclaims, his eyes widening, "Your parents were married...we...we never...your father was my Parabatai. Jocelyn and I both loved him."

Sounds like it.

"You are really bad at this whole explaining shit thing." I say, shaking my head at Luke, "You know, just for future reference. You probably shouldn't volunteer for the job of explaining important life altering shit to people ever again."

I don't want to be mean, but it has to be said.

Luke gives me one of his 'no nonsense' looks and I roll my eyes. I gesture for him to continue.

"We tried to help him. But as Valentine became more violent...more hungry for power...and combatative with the clave..."

"You decided the only rational option was to push him off a cliff?" I say hopefully. A big cliff.

Luke openly stares at me for a moment before wiping a hand over his face. He mutters,

"The things you say sometimes Everlyna..."

"Stop trailing off in the middle of sentences. You're making me nervous. And you know I get snarky when I'm nervous." I scowl at Luke.

"Valentine kept pulling away from us, and the more he did that, the closer Jocelyn and I became." Luke says.

"Ah, so playing the long game. I can respect that." I nod sagely.

This whole conversation feels stupid.

"We knew it was wrong." Luke ignores my comment, much like he usually does when I say inappropriate things. It almost makes me homesick. "But we couldn't deny it."

"So, long story short, Valentino thought you and mom were having an affair, he got pissy, and everything went to shit. Am I getting that right?" I move closer to the bed and sit on the edge, watching Luke's face carefully.

Luke sighs again, but doesn't berate me.

"He became obsessed with winning back Jocelyn's love. He even compromised his own principles by experimenting with Downworlder blood. He was trying to create the perfect warrior."

I don't even want to know what that means.

"I take it that it didn't go well."

"In the end our love for Valentine did more damage to him than anything anyone else could have done." Luke says. "We broke his heart."

And his brain.

"You didn't force him to go full on crazy pants, Luke. He fucked everything up all by himself."

Luke just looks saddened by that, and I realise how deeply he must have really loved Valentine if he still feels this way after so many years. It must have been terrible for Luke and my mom, to watch the person they loved descend into madness. I don't know if I could stand watching Simon spiral that way, to see him get swallowed up by darkness.

"How did you become a fluffy thingy?" I ask Luke. Maybe that story won't be so...depressing.

Yeah. Bad call on my part.

Luke explains how he became a werewolf. Valendouche betrayed him, he betrayed their para-towel-bubble bond, and quite literally threw Luke to the wolves. What a spiteful bitch.

"He betrayed me. And then he betrayed everything he was supposed to believe in." Luke says, almost sounding wistful. "He killed thousands. Turned Shadowhunter against Shadowhunter. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

I roll my eyes in frustration,

"Yes, I've got it. You had a big crush on Mom. Valentino was a super douchcanoe. You were heterosexually in love with Valentino and all that he stood for. Valentino killed lots of people and stole a stupid fucking cup that I hope dies a cup-death at some point. Mom and you tried to stop him. Mom ran off with the cup-that-I-legitimately-hate and hid it somewhere. If Valentino finds the mighty cup of doom then the Shadowpuppet apocalypse will be nigh. I get it, I'm all caught up, moving on now _please."_

Luke moves closer to me on the bed and takes my hand.

"We have to find the cup before Valentine, or everything could be lost."

Good, as long as there's no pressure.

"See, I hear what you're saying," I squeeze Luke's hand tightly, "but what I'm not hearing is a way for me to figure out what I know about the COD."

Luke pauses for a moment. He looks like he doesn't want to ask, but like most people, he is unable to resist asking anyway.

"The COD?"

I shrug one shoulder,

"Yeah. The COD. The Cup Of Doom"

"The Cup Of Doom?" Luke repeats to himself slowly.

"I figured we might need a code word or something." I say.

Luke blinks at me for a good minute and half before brushing that moment of insanity aside and continuing with our previous far more boring conversation.

"Your mother told me when the time was right, I needed to tell you everything. She said it would unlock you or your sister."

Well, at least there's two of us. Always good to have a backup.

"What does that mean, Luke? How are we supposed to 'unlock' me? I'm a freakin' safe deposit box!"

"I don't _know_." Luke makes a frustrated sound in his throat.

I do not feel reassured. I do not feel reassured at all.

Maybe we should bench me and bring Clary out onto the field instead.

Then a thought occurs to me and I get up off the bed. My backpack from earlier is on a chair. I dig through it to find the special box my mom cries over every year. I take the box back to the bed. Luke looks immediately uncomfortable. I take that as a good sign rather than a bad one.

"What's the deal with this box, Luke?" I pin him with a hard stare.

Luke shakes his head, staring at the box.

"No. That's one story you don't want to know."

"Maybe not. I don't particularly _want_ to know any of this. But I think I have to. To understand, I have to know everything." I say, not even bothering to hide the tiredness in my voice.

Luke's jaw lock, but he nods.

"What does 'JC' stand for?" I ask pointedly.

"Johnathan Christopher." Luke says, his expression morphing into something sorrowful, "He was your brother."

My what? I have a brother...that's not...I can't...what the ever living fuck? Hold on..

"Was?"

"He died." Luke confirms sadly, "In a fire at the old Fairchild house. A fire your father set."

Oh God no. I suck in a harsh breathe. Something painful throbs in my chest. I feel a spark of understanding shift inside my head. It feels like a door being opened.

I look at the box, anguish I don't understand begins to creep into my heart.

I had a brother, and my own father caused his death. I don't know how mom could have kept something like that a secret from me and Clary. No wonder she cried over this box every year.

I still don't know how the story about my brother, as awful as it was, helps me figure out where the COD is.

I reach out to touch the ornate box. But as soon as my fingers come into contact with the marked wood, a flash of pure white hot pain threatens to turn my nerve endings on fire. My vision goes blurry and I think I might even scream. Lightning shoots through my body, expanding and crackling in my veins. But all that pales in comparison to what happens next.

Images appear in front of me, like a dream, but I know I'm awake.

I see my Mom. I see her face drawn in concentration. I see...a cup. A cup of gold, although it looks more like an Viking goblet from fucking Game of Thrones. It _glows_. I see...I _see_...the tarot cards? Mom is making them. She lifts the cup and...puts it inside a card...how does that even _work_?

A splitting headache infects my mind and I'm thrown backwards out of the vision.

Yeah, lets go ahead and call it a vision for now.

I have to blink a few hundred times before my eyes work properly again. Luke is shaking me, his hands gripping my shoulders. I take my hand off the box. My skin burns from where I touched it.

I meet Luke's panicked gaze.

"Ever, are you alright? Talk to me God damn it!"

My head still aches like a bitch, and my mouth feels dry as paper, but I manage to get out the words,

"I know where the cup is."

...

So, plan A, Luke goes into the precinct where he hid the tarot cards in his desk. He swipes the cards and we all get the hell out of dodge. Hopefully we'll be able to melt the God damn fucking COD down into spoons and then throw them in the sea where they can die a spoon death. Sounds simple enough, right?

Yeah, well, I'm not getting good feels about it. Simple plans always seem simple until they go to shit. I think someone famous and insightful said that.

"Would you stop pacing!" I hiss at Cap.

Cap abruptly stops his furious stomping back and forth. He full on glares at me,

"I'm not _pacing_. I'm thinking about all the ways this could go wrong. Why exactly are we trusting the werewolf with one of the single most important missions in existence?"

I heave a great sigh and give him a very obviously mocking look.

"Sometimes I walk and think at the same time. I know it sounds difficult, but with a bit of practice I think you could manage it too."

Cap gets all tense and growly, like an angry budgie. If he had feathers, he would so be fluffing them at me right now in an effort to look even slightly intimidating. But he doesn't have feathers so he just looks puffy. It's cute. And annoying.

"I take back everything I said last night." Cap declares dramatically, "I refuse to be your friend."

I gasp and slap a hand over my heart,

"You are so not on my Christmas card list for this year. I don't have a Christmas card list. But if I did, you would not be on it. Deal with that grumpy pants."

Cap gets puffy again and crosses his arms. He pouts, which is so sweet. I wish I could give him a cuddle, but I'm afraid he might actually bite me if I attempt it right now.

"You never make any sense!" Cap shouts in frustration.

I move towards him, close enough that I can feel his body heat. Cap doesn't move back, and I call that progress. I point at him, then I dish out the best comeback ever created in the history of humankind.

"Your _face_ doesn't make sense."

BOOM!

Yeah. I went there.

Cap groans loudly and turns to Blondie, who at this point is just leaning against a police car watching me and Cap. He appears both fascinated and horrified by us and the moment we are currently being forced to endure.

"Jace, your girlfriend is _bothering_ me." Cap complains.

"Your _face_ is bothering me." I say at the same time Blondie replies,

"I don't see how any of what's going on between you two is my fault."

"You were the one who brought it into our lives." Cap argues.

"'It'?" I poke Cap's chest angrily, "Who are you calling an 'it'? I'll have you know I was upgraded to a 'thing' just last year. Don't downplay my role in society you giant beautiful shithead."

Cap sucks in a harsh breathe and goes all weirdo shy-boy. He rolls his eyes, looking self conscious,

" _Don't_ call me beautiful."

Oh for the love of smurfs-

"Really? _That's_ what you took from what I said?" I turn a glare on Blondie, "Blondie, your boyfriend is _bothering_ me. I demand that you destroy him immediately."

"Jace couldn't _destroy_ me." Cap huffs all blue eyed and pretty and stupid and annoying.

"Yeah yeah," I wave a hand, "I know he's your para-shoot-bo-tai thingy and you wuv him to the moon and back blah blah blah. Whatever."

Cap looks about ready to start shouting again, but Blondie cuts him off before he can get started.

"Ok, I really think we've lost track of the original situation going on right now-"

"Hey, look, Luke's being kidnapped by the men in black, blue and tan." I gesture at the NYPD building.

Luke is being led off somewhere, he's flanked by three official looking suits. I can see them through a large window. They're leading Luke away all official-like. They look very grumpy and serious and bossy. I hope they don't throw Luke in jail, that would really throw a spanner in our 'Rescue The COD' operation. Plus then we'd have to break Luke out of jail and I really don't want to end up in a Orange is the new black situation. I'd make a really shitty convict, and I would probably end up getting shanked by either a guard or one of my fellow convicts. Possibly my lesbian lover roommate.

"Come on, Luke's had his chance, we have to go in." I'm smacked out of my thoughts by Blondie as he begins his charge towards the precinct. He looks like a man on a mission so I leave him be. There's really no need to point out that he's going the wrong way.

I exchange one of those meaningful looks with Cap, which we are both getting better at. We've had a lot of staring at each other practice by this point.

I point after Blondie and ask,

"Are you gonna follow him or am I? I feel like one of us should be following him."

Cap appears to consider my question carefully as we both watch Blondie walk further and further away. Neither of us seem to be in much of a rush. Cap's blue eyes narrow and he shrugs one shoulder.

"Usually I follow him, because, like, teamwork and stuff, but there are a lot of big windows in that building. I think we'll be able to observe him just fine from here."

Captain dream boat has a point. A good one even.

"But what if he gets attacked?" I ask mildly. Blondie still hasn't turned back.

Cap sighs heavily and looks at me, his expression neutral. That doesn't tell me much since neutral is kind of his default setting.

"Yeah, alright. We should probably go after him."

I scoff and cross my arms,

"He's _your_ boyfriend. You go babysit him."

Cap gives me a 'don't be a moron' look.

"I can't leave you out here alone." His lips quirk up into a tiny evil smile. "What if some poor innocent mundane police-person comes along carrying a cupcake of some kind? Can you promise that you will be able to control yourself?"

I hold up three fingers and bump my hip against Cap's. We're **_way_ ** into each others personal space at the moment. Touching and everything. It feels good and weirdly right. I can't quite describe the reason why though.

I poke him with one finger.

"First of all, 'police-person'? What are you, the missing link between humans and the Muppets? Did you secretly grow up on Fraggle rock?" I poke him with the second finger, "Of course I would never attack anyone for a cupcake. That would be ridiculous. Now, if someone was carrying around a chocolate brownie...well, really, they'd be sealing their own fate." I poke him with the third finger. "And lastly, there's no need to make up an excuse about cupcakes, I know you secretly want to be my personal bodyguard, because your love me is tangibly powerful-"

Cap makes a frustrated growling sound and grabs hold of my arm, his fingers wrapping around my elbow. Cap's skin is warm, and slightly callused, probably from training with his weapons. His eyes lock with mine, and he says intently,

"By the Angel you are so-just-I can't even-how are you even a real person?"

I lean in closer to him and his grip tightens on my arm. Not enough to hurt, but strong enough that it would take some work to get away.

"Admit it, you love me and would be devastated if something bad happened to me."

Cap's lips part, a refusal clearly about to come out of his mouth. He looks conflicted for a moment though, and I can read him. I feel like I can sense his thoughts. Sense his confusion, and the emotions going to war inside him. Finally he says,

"I don't understand-"

"Are you two done staring lovingly into each others eyes yet?"

Cap and I both jump about two feet into the air at the sound of Blondie's voice. He somehow managed to come back over to us without either me or Cap noticing. So much for our Shadowpuppet-ness.

Cap lets go of my arm as the contact burned him in some way. I ignore the tinge of unease in my chest and turn a fully watted grin on Blondie. Blondie almost stumbles backwards, most likely from shock.

"Hello, Blondie, I don't know about you, but I'm in the mood for some espionage."

...

Soooo, Luke is being accused of murder. Not good. The tarot cards have been seized by the IA and are now in lock up. Really not good. Isy-tron is her for back-up. Semi-good. Blondie has a 'great plan' to get the tarot cards. There are not enough words on this earth to describe how sceptical I am about what constitutes a 'great plan' inside Blondie's head.

Blondie and I walk through the front doors of the precinct. I keep stride with Blondie, even though he's still pouting over...something. He's having man feelings, lets just leave it at that for now. I do not have time for his teenage boy angst at the moment, we have a evil Cup Of Doom to find and, hopefully, melt down into buttons that can be flushed down the toilet.

"Ok, so what exactly is this 'great plan' of yours that I've heard literally nothing about?" I ask.

Blondie pushes a button for the elevator and turns to face me, his expression set in determination. It's kind of sweet. Although I still kind of want to poke him in the eye because...reasons. Hey, there are legitimate reasons for my need to injure Blondie. I just don't know what they are yet. Don't worry, it'll come to me.

I sort of wish Simon were here. He'd be able to disrupt the tension going on between me and Blondie by being all Simon-ish. I really should have brought my phone with me in case he called, but I forgot it at Maggie's secret hidey home. At least Simon is out of danger though. This would all be ten times worse if Simon were caught up in this bullshit as well. It's bad enough that I have a mother and sister out there who need saving.

"We'll head towards the vault. Alec and Izzy are handling the rest. All we have to do is wait for their signal...and grab the cup." Blondie says. He fixes me with a look, "You know, you could have a little more faith in my planning abilities. I have been known to come up with epic plans before. Ask Alex, he'll tell you."

I arch an eyebrow at him,

"Right, I'm not gonna ask Cap questions about you. He's your boyfriend, of course he's gonna take your side."

Blondie rolls his eyes at me,

"Would you stop with that."

I feel myself begin to smirk,

"Why? Is someone a little bit less than comfortable with their sexuality?"

Blondie makes a choked sound somewhere deep in his throat, and his voice sounds slightly strangled when he replies,

"I am perfectly comfortable with my sexuality."

I snort out a laugh,

"Oh wow, yeah, that just so very convincing. Now tell me the sky is purple and made of hedgehogs, and we'll see if I believe you about that."

Blondie takes a step towards me, causing me to take a step away and hit my back against the wall. My laughter abruptly cuts off when Blondie leans an arm on the wall above my head and drops his face in closer to mine. I can feel his breathe of my face, and crazy jolts of warmth spindle up and down my spine. I think about pushing him away, but I'm frozen in place by his intense stare.

I let out a shaky breathe. My eyes narrow suspiciously when Blondie raises his other hand. He brushes the back of his fingers across my cheek and give an involuntary shiver in response.

Blondie smiles at me, clearly pleased. If his smile had been smug I would have kneed him right then and there. But it isn't, so I don't beat him to death. He should count himself lucky, there are other men in this city who faced my wraith and barley lived to tell the tale. Kevin is a mighty protector after all. Not many people can say they've walked away from a fight with a bump of their head and glitter in their hair.

"Are you thinking about kissing me, or hurting me?" Blondie asks, sounding genuinely curious, "I think with you the two expressions are eerily similar."

"Who says I've ever thought about kissing you? Maybe all I ever do is think about hurting you." I counter, lifting a hand to place it on his chest, over his heart.

Blondie sucks in a harsh breathe when my other hand burrows in under the hem of his t-shirt. My fingers come into contact with hot male skin. I can feel the hard ridges of his abs, and I run my fingers across them. Blondie breathing becomes uneven and he moves just a little bit closer to me. Our faces are only inches apart now, and I can see every one of his distinguishing features.

I can see a very small scar just above his upper lip, and another slightly bigger one through his eyebrow. I reach up to trace them with my fingers, but before I can, the elevator doors spring open. Blondie takes a hasty step back when I push on his chest. My hand slips away from under his t-shirt, and part of me instantly misses the warmth of Blondie's body.

Blondie ducks into the elevator and I follow swiftly after him.

...

"That's the signal." Blondie says.

All the lights have gone off, and the elevator has stopped moving.

Good thing Blondie told me about the see-in-the-dark rune. By now I'm covered in these damn runes. I probably look like one of those tattoo-junkies. It hurts to get the runes, but at least I have my own glowy pencil. Blondie offered to help me draw on the see-in-the-dark rune, but I decided it was probably best not to let Blondie do any more random touching. The last thing we need is to end up screwing around in an elevator. This ain't no Fifty shades of Shadow bullshit.

I seriously cannot afford to lose my head over some guy I don't even like. Sure, on any other day, like when my bio-Dad isn't trying to destroy the Shadowworld, I'd have already had Blondie on every available surface. We'd be in our semi-awkward morning after period by now if I weren't so busy trying to save the world and...other stuff...probably.

Blondie and I end up staring at each other in the dark for a weird amount of time. I put an end to that bizarreness by saying,

"Come on then, lets get on with our mission impossible moment."

Blondie laughs and pushes the tile out of the way so he can jump up and pull himself out of the elevator. He offers me his hand and I allow him to help me climb out of the elevator as well.

"We going up?" I say, peering around in the darkness.

Blondie gives me a slightly manic smile and says,

"Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker."

A bout of laughter bursts out of my mouth. I hit Blondie on the shoulder and say,

"Yeah, yeah, move your ass John McClane, we don't have all day."

...

Cap and Isy-tron come racing around the corner when Blondie and I stride out of the precinct together.

"Are you alright?" Cap asks, all serious face and searching eyes.

I nod at him,

"We're fine." Sort of. Mission impossible was kind of easy as impossible missions go, but...

"Did you get the cup?" Cap asks.

I quirk an eyebrow at him,

"What cup?" I ask.

Cap rolls his eyes, but says reluctantly,

"Did you find the COD?"

Wow, the man knows me.

"Kinda. Sorta. Ish."

Cap does not look pleased.

"Your words do not fill me with confidence." He says.

"Yeah, well, life." I say, shrugging.

"Listen, we need to get back to the Institute." Isy-tron interrupts whatever Cap might have been about to say to (yell at) me.

"Yeah, it's not safe here, for the cup or Ever." Blondie says.

We all blink in surprise when Isy-tron's red demon necklace starts to glow. Not good.

"Well, at least we know it works." Cap says dryly.

"That's right, think positive Cap." I say, "One of us has to be the ray of sunshine of the group, and I'm all of happy thoughts."

"Come on, lets go." Isy-tron says.

The precinct parking lot is full of people, and the four of us struggle to stay together. At some point I knock into an old lady. I try to apologise, and she responds by going all demon face on me. Literally. With a lot of jagged teeth and ripped tentacles.

I take out Tony and stab Betty crockers cousin in the stomach. She bursts into black ash, causing me to take a few stumbling steps backwards.

I make a run for it. There are too many people here, and I don't know how many of them are demons. I'm hoping that Blondie-Isy-tron and Cap will follow after me.

I run down some step around the other side of the precinct. I still have Tony firmly held firmly in my hand, although at the moment he's sheathed.

I hear footsteps following after me, and I choose to believe that it's the others rather than a hoard of demons coming to eat me. Or whatever it is demons actually do to people.

I'm relieved when Blondie and Cap over take me.

I pull to a stop.

Cap, Blondie and Isy-tron already have their weapons out and look ready for a fight. I really wish I felt that way. But to be honest I'd rather not kill any more demons tonight. It's been a stressful day already.

"The Institutes only a few blocks from here." Cap says, his eyes darting around, clearly searching for potential danger.

Blondie looks right at me and says,

"You need to run Ever. We can hold them off. Just get back to the Institute with the cup."

"No, I can't leave you weirdoes here." I glare at them. There's no way I can let them take the fall for me.

Cap looks at then, his eyes bright and intense,

"We'll be alright Ever. But you have to go. Your safety is our number one priority."

Isy-tron stops looking badass for a moment to openly gape at her brother. She jerks a thumb at him and says to Blondie,

"Am I missing something here? What did she do to him?"

Blondie's jaw twitches and he shakes his head,

"Don't even go there. They've got some kind of new besties thing going on. I don't get it at all, so don't ask because I have no idea what the hell is up with them."

"This is so weird." Isy-tron says, sounding genuinely confuzzled.

I raise a hand, my eyes flickering between Isy-tron and Blondie,

"Hey, Cap and I are standing right here you know."

"Yeah, we can literally _hear_ everything you're saying." Cap adds.

Isy-tron gapes some more.

"They're even teaming up now!"

Blondie throw his hands up dramatically.

"I know! It's like the most bizarre thing ever."

I look at Cap and say,

"I think maybe we should let them get eaten by demons."

Cap nods in agreement,

"I was starting to think that too."

"Ok, for real, this is just freaky." Isy-tron says in disbelief.

"I think maybe we need some kind of plan here guys." I say, because we totally need to get back on track before demons swarm us to death. "I'm not leaving without you guys, so we either all make a run for it or we all stay here and die."

"I choose we run together and live." Cap says, way too seriously.

I point at him,

"Aha! So that's two against one, do I have any more takers for we all run together and don't die?"

Isy-tron raise a hand reluctantly, and Blondie giver her a betrayed look. Isy-tron shrugs at him,

"What? Who am I to argue with Alec and his future wife."

Cap gives his sister the driest look known to man, but doesn't comment.

Blondie finally caves after the three of us stare him into oblivion.

"Fine, lets go." He grumbles.

I pat his arm reassuringly,

"Hey, you had one plan today that wasn't terrible. I'd call that a win."

"You're a very mean person." Blondie says, glaring at me.

I smirk back at him and reply snarkily,

"Only to you my sweet."

Then all four of us run like hell for the semi-safety of the Institute.


	10. Cuddling, Camping And Cupcakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> STUFF! STUFF I SAY!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do NOT own Shadowhunters. Or The Mortal Instruments. The only thing I own in this fic is my character 'Ever'.

"You can stare at this monitor all you want, but they need Shadowhunter blood to get past the wards. You know that." Blondie slaps Cap's arm companionably.

We made it back to the Institute with all our body part in tact yesterday night. I'm gonna go ahead and call that a win.

"No one can even come in through the entrance without being invited by a Shadowhunter." Isy-tron says. She takes the cup-card from me and peers at it thoughtfully.

"Last time I checked, Valentine was still a Shadowhunter." Cap says huffily.

"Ohhh, good one Cap." I say, giving him a thumbs up, "You snark up a storm over there, and I'll back you up from waaayyy over here."

I slap at Isy-tron's hand when she starts to poke at the shmagical COD.

"Don't start with me, you insanity infused bunny rabbit of a person." Cap says, frustration thick as mud in his voice.

I frown at him and say,

"Is that your new pet name for me? Bunny? Very sweet, Cap, I accept."

Cap starts sputtering cutely again, so I ignore him. Blondie smiles at me all knowing and shit. I just roll my eyes and ignore him too.

"How are we supposed to get this COD out?" I say, looking back down at the COD.

"When you had your vision, did you see how your Mom got it in there?" Isy-tron asks curiously.

I nod,

"Yeah, she just kind of...pushed it in. I think it has something to do with her artistic stuff. Maybe. I'm not sure."

"Sounds like your mother has a very rare Shadowhunter power." Isy-tron says. "Some Shadowhunters do have special abilities."

"I still don't understand how you had a vision in the first place." Blondie says, and I can feel his eyes on me, burning into my skin.

"Do you think you could do it with other objects that belong to people?" Cap asks, a thoughtful scowl on his face.

"I've never heard of a Shadowhunter having natural psychic talents like that before. Not unless they became a Silent Brother." Blondie offers.

"If you can really have visions, "Isy-tron says excitedly, "then that means you can expand your psychic abilities if you practice."

"Expand them to do what?" I ask warily.

Isy-tron grins wide at me and explains,

"Being psychic isn't a stunted ability. If you can do one thing, then you can potentially do them all. Like telekinesis. Mind reading. Seeing other people's memories through objects. Having visions of the future. Maybe even healing abilities. You could be really powerful one day if you wanted."

That throws me for a loop.

Me, powerful? Nah.

I'd probably just end up becoming a supervillain and taking over the world. Safer if I just stay not-powerful. It would take very few Oreos to tempt me over to the dark side.

Cap looks like he's come to the same conclusion if the abject horror on his face is anything to go by.

"I forbid you to become an all powerful Shadowhunter-psychic!" Cap orders, looking very serious about it.

I smirk at him and say,

"Don't worry, when I take New York and make it my bitch, I'll hire you on as my senior henchman. Top dog. I'd say you could be my second in demand, but I already promised that role to Simon years ago. It was a whole scrabble bet thing."

Cap looks at me suspiciously,

"I don't even want to know why you and Simon were talking about taking over New York. Or what a scrabble bet thing is."

I flip my hand back and forth,

"We get bored sometimes so we plan world domination together. Just for fun though. And scrabble bets are sacred and binding. A scrabble bet must be respected by everyone involved. A scrabble bet is not for the faint of heart."

"I said I don't want to know." Cap says exasperatedly.

I fling my hands up in the air,

"Yeah, well, now you do. We can't always get what we want, Cap! Sometimes that's just life. There's no need to get all whingey about it."

Cap groans, running a hand down over his face.

"Just come with me so we can hide the cup." Cap says like he wishes he could disappear and never have to deal with me again.

Cap strides off and I jump down off the table to go follow after him, still clasping the COD in my hand. I put a purposeful flounce in my step as I move past Blondie.

When Cap opens up one of the ceiled Shadowpuppet vaults, I kneel down beside him. Cap takes the COD from me and puts it inside the vault. He looks over at me. We're close enough that I can feel his warm breathe on my face. Cap doesn't back away, but he does raise an eyebrow at me in question.

"I just wanted to say thank you. For helping me get the COD. You're super fantastically awesome." I say, bumping his shoulder with mine.

Cap full on blushes and looks down. His dark hair falls forward and I think for a moment about brushing it away. But I discard that idea pretty quickly. Cap puts up with a lot from me, but I think that would be pushing it too far.

"I didn't do it for you." Cap says with a huff. "I did it because I'm a Shadowhunter and the Mortal Cup endangers us all."

I continue to stare at him until he's forced to actually look me in the eye.

"You did it a little bit for me." I say cajolingly.

Cap's jaw locks and he looks decidedly uncomfortable for about thirty seconds before he finally gives in.

"None of this means that I like you. But yes, alright, it was a teensy tiny bit for you." Cap admits begrudgingly.

I throw myself at Cap. In fact I throw myself at him hard enough that he actually falls over. Huh, some ninja Shadowpuppet he is.

Cap lands awkwardly on his back and I'm forced to follow after him. We both end up in the really odd position of me led mostly on top of him. I try to move and get more comfortable, but Cap moves at the same time, which only leads to us becoming further entwined. I'm practically straddling Cap, and he's got his hands on my hips.

I sit up, which is a mistake, because Cap also sits up. So now I'm very intimately sitting in his lap with my legs around his waist. How does this shit keep happening to us?

Cap's looks at me, clearly flustered.

"I think you do this on purpose." He accuses half heartedly.

I rest my arms on his shoulders and start fiddling with his hair. It's nice hair, dark and thick and sexy. I tell him so.

"I like your hair."

Cap makes a disgruntled sound in the back of his throat and narrows his eyes at me,

"I think you and I have touched more in these past few days than I've ever touched anyone in my entire life."

"Well that's just sad." I say.

Cap tightens his arms around me and sighs. He lets his head fall forward, his mouth accidentally grazing my collar bone.

"You frustrate me endlessly." Cap murmurs in what sounds like defeat.

I give into the need and hug him. It feels really good. Disturbingly good. Unnaturally good. What fucked up magic is this?

I hear someone clear their throat from behind me and both Cap and I stop inappropriately snuggling to look up at the angry sounding person. Blondie is standing there with Isy-tron. They loom over us like judgemental Gods. Or, at least, Blondie does. Isy-tron just looks vastly amused.

"Why is it every time I turn around you two are locked together in some way?" Blondie gripes, eyeing us in confusion and distinct piss-off-ness. I can't decide who's he's actually annoyed at though, me or Cap.

Isy-tron smacks Blondie's arm and says,

"They're just cuddling Jace. It's cute."

"It's weird." Blondie counters.

Cap and I exchange a long suffering look. Cap stands up, taking me with him. I hold onto him tighter so I won't fall.

"Ok, well, now it's less cute." Isy-tron says, although she's clearly trying not to laugh outright.

"Either kiss me or put me down, babe." I say, patting Cap on the head.

Cap rolls his eyes, but does as he's told. The putting me down part I mean. The other thing would definitely be more entertaining, but Blondie would probably explode on principle alone.

When I'm on my feet again I turn back to a pissy looking Blondie.

"Don't get your batman boxer shorts tied in a wad, it was an accident."

Probably.

Blondie blows out an annoyed breathe.

"How can you accidentally end up sitting in someone's lap?"

I shrug one shoulder,

"I don't know. That's why it's called an _accident_. If I'd known how to stop myself from doing it then it wouldn't have happned in the first place."

Probably.

Blondie looks pointedly at Cap, obviously waiting for some kind of response from him as well.

Cap holds his hands up in surrender, blue eyes wide with innocence.

"There was...touching and...legs and...arms...and...grabbing...and...falling...I was...just...uh...it was an accident." Cap slumps in defeat for the second time in the last few minutes.

Isy-tron can't control herself any longer and she cracks up laughing.

...

"People will be wondering what we found outside the perimeter." Blondie says, but I can barely hear him over the roaring in my ears.

When there was an alert on the Institute's systems, we thought maybe Valentine was attacking, so we went out all guns blazing. But instead of finding Valentine or any of his fan club, it was Raphael, the vampy henchman who first friendnapped Simon. In his arms Arch-vamp held Simon, my best friend. He looked dead at first, and my heart exploded into a million tiny pieces.

"I'll go and tell them it was a mistake." Isy-tron says, her eyes lingering on Simon. "We didn't find anything, ok."

Isy-tron tears herself away to go take care of any questions from the other Shadowpuppets.

I can't stop looking at Simon. I reach out to touch him. A painfully acid-like feeling settles in my stomach and I fight the urge to wretch. Pain twists and churns inside me, fucking up my world in the most intimate way. I brush a curl of Simon's hair off his forehead gently. He feels cold. Too cold.

"I might be a vampire. But I was raised a good Catholic." Arch-vampy says ironically.

"You declared war when you did this." Cap says, his tone like ice. "The vampires breached the Accords."

Arch-vampy grits his teeth, but says reasonably,

"The vampires weren't behind this. Camille acted alone."

"And we know that how? Because you say so? Yeah, well, that's not exactly gonna hold much weight with us, or with the Clave." Blondie snaps angrily.

"I could have gotten rid of him, ok. But I didn't. I brought him to you, so you would know what's actually going on. I didn't have to do that."

"I hope you're not expecting a thank you card." Cap says. He's standing at my right shoulder, his arms crossed. He has that stony 'all business' expression on his face.

"We don't want trouble with the Shadowhunters." Arch-vampy says grittily.

"You should have thought about that before you took Simon in the first place." Blondie argues, glaring at Arch-vampy.

"Camille gave him a taste of her own blood, and like an _addict,_ he came looking for more. He would have been fine otherwise." Arch-vampy says, giving Simon a look of distaste.

"Oh well, that makes things so much better." I say to him acidly. Because, of course, this is somehow Simon's fault for not knowing how to react to having vampire blood in his system. Is everyone in the Shadow world a complete prick? I'm really starting to wonder.

"I never meant for things to end up this way," Arch-vampy says to me. "This wasn't part of the plan."

"Still not making it any better, douchnozzle." I feel my jaw tick, an undeniable fury building up inside me. "I want Camille to _burn_ for this." I practically spit out the words.

I place a hand on Simon's chest, desperate to sense something alive about him. I don't dare check his pulse. I think the confirmation would crush me. I take Simon's hand and clutch it tightly. I think about all the times when Simon was there for me, and then, the one time he needed me to be there for him, I was too busy pissing around with people I've known for less than two weeks.

This is my fault. I let this happen to Simon. How can I ever forgive myself for this? How will I tell his mother? Clary? She'll throttle me. Clary loves Simon almost as much as I do. This will kill her. It's already destroying me.

"There is a way." Arch-vampy says.

"A way to what?" Blondie bites out.

"A way to bring Simon back."

I look at arch-vampy, my eyes narrowing on him.

"Do you mean turn Simon into a vampire?" I say. I can't decide whether that would be saving him, or doing something far worse than letting him die.

"Yes." Archy-vampy says, "He's a fledgling. Simon is in transition."

"Ever, seriously, bad idea." Blondie says, shaking his head worriedly at me.

"Jace is right, Ever." Cap touches my shoulder, "Turning someone into a vampire...it's a very big decision. If you do that to Simon...nothing will ever be the same. Not for him, or for you."

"It's almost sunrise." Arch-vampy says, "Simon must be turned into a vampire tonight, or staked through the heart."

"Are those really the only two options on the table right now?" I ask, desperately looking from Simon to Arch-vampy and back again.

"If you do neither then his soul will be trapped for eternity." Arch-vampy warns. Oh the warm fuzzy feelings just keep getting warmer and fuzzier.

"For the record," I say stiffly, "I am not pleased about this. At all. Nothing about this pleases me on any level. I just want that noted."

...

I thought for a long time about what I need to do. I thought about going to Simon's house and telling his mother that Simon will never be coming home. I thought about staking Simon, because it would have to be me. I could never someone else take that bullet.

But I knew I would only end up lying to Simon's mother. And there's just no way I can even imagine myself killing Simon. Giving up is just not in me. But making such a massive decision based on what I can and cannot handle seems too selfish even for me. So, instead of agonising over it, I decided to throw myself into something else. Maybe if I can figure out a Shadowpuppet problem, then I'll know what to do about Simon.

Yeah, I don't hold out much hope for that plan either.

Cap is currently trying to convince his cute, yet devious, little brother to behave for when the Clave envoy gets here. Apparently, according to the Lightwood seniors, the Clave are not happy bunnies. They think the New York Institute isn't being run properly. To be fair, they're kind of right. Things haven't exactly been by the book since I got here. Yet another thing we get to blame me for, isn't that nice.

"If you stay out of trouble, I promise to get your stele back." Cap says to his brother. I roll my eyes and push Cap out of my way.

"No, no, that's not how you bribe children." I shake my head at the poor hopeless idiot and then turn back to Max. I smile at him gamely. "So, tiny, what's it gonna take for you to be a good little monster for the nice Clavicle inspector person?"

Max seems to think about that for a moment, and then he says decisively,

"I want a bike."

Excellent. I look up at Cap and gesture back at Max.

"You hear that, the man wants a bike."

"How will we get him a bike-" Cap starts, but I shut him up by pinching his ass. Cap glares down at me, but I just smile sweetly back at him.

"We'll get you a bike, love." I say to Max.

"A blue one." Max tacks on.

I nod agreeably,

"A blue bike sounds good to me, right Cap?"

Cap grumbles something incoherently.

I open my mouth to speak again, but I'm cut off when the impossible happens. A man comes striding into the Institute. My blood runs cold when Isy-tron gasps,

" _Valentine_."

Well, that's not going to end well.

I whip out Tony almost as fast as Cap readies his trusty robin hood weaponry. Cap aims an arrow at Valentine. Blondie is on my other side, a seraph blade already in his hand.

Before anyone can attack however, Valentine takes out a stele and swipes it over his bare arm. A rune I haven't seen before appears on his skin. Valentine very swiftly morphs into a pretty blond woman.

Because of fucking course. Things were just starting to get boring around here. _Not._

"Well, that reaction time was abysmal." Blondie 2.0 says dryly.

I raise my hand and say,

"Ok, you go back outside and come in again. We'll try to do better this time."

Cap and Blondie the original both turn to stare at me in either disbelief or outright shock. Good. I wouldn't want them to get too comfortable around me.

Blondie 2.0 raises a neatly sculptured eyebrow,

"I take it you're the infamous Fairchild girl I've been hearing so much about."

I force a grin onto my face and say,

"Shadowpuppets have been _gossiping_ about me? For real? Did they mention my kickass COD finding skills by any chance?"

Blondie 2.0 does not appear amused. I take it back, maybe she's more of a Captain dream boat 2.0.

"My name is Lydia Branwell, envoy from the Clave."

"Can we see a badge?" I ask.

Cap groans next to me. Blondie appears to be hiding a smirk.

"What are you talking about?" Stoneface demands, her expression showing impending signs of impatience.

I flip Tony from one hand to the other absently and say,

"On crime drama shows people always ask to see a badge before they let the Cop/Detective/FBI agent/CIA agent in or answer any of their questions."

"This is not a crime drama TV show." Stoneface says, looking slightly bewildered.

"I know that. But it couldn't hurt to take some directive." I say.

"What...what is...are you a real person?" Stoneface peers at me in the same way someone might look at a deranged homeless man on the subway.

I feel offended. Very, very offended.

Sort of.

Cap finds his voice then and says,

"Don't try and follow along with what she blathers on about. You get used it."

I throw him a glare.

"Mark my words, Captain dream boat, I am not afraid to cuddle you to death right in front of everyone."

Cap makes a genuinely horrified face and slowly backs away from me. Ridiculous. I know he wants my cuddles. He craves them. He has cuddle cravey eyes. I won't be so easily perturbed.

I purposely push away all my memories of cuddling Simon. And there are a lot of them. Although the memory that seems the most prominent in my mind is of Simon's sixteenth birthday. We had a party in a field three hours out of the city. We were supposed to be 'camping'. That' what we all told our parents anyway. I'm pretty sure my Mom didn't buy it, but since it was Simon's birthday, she pretended to, and that was good enough for me.

Simon, Clary, me and our friend Lucky (Yeah, for serious that's his actual real life name. What is _wrong_ with some parents? Seriously.). We all drove out of the city and to a previously chosen 'campsite'. Forty-seven of our friends, and lets be honest, friends of friends, met us out there. We strung up fairy lights all over the scattered trees in the field. We'd managed to scam a few cases of alcohol from Lucky's Uncle's bar. One the guys brought a couple of large speakers so that we could blast our music at full volume. For once there was no one to risk waking, and we, as a group of sixteen year olds took full advantage of that fact.

It was a crazy summer night, and one of the best of my life.

Everyone crashed at some point during the night. I'm not sure exactly when I fell asleep. The last thing I remember of that night is drinking vodka straight and sitting in a tree with Simon, who was laughing uncontrollably at something I'd said. Or sang. Or danced. Maybe. All I really know is that at around half six in the morning I woke up in one of our makeshift 'tents', which was really just a couple of sheets held up by our cars. Underneath each tent was a couple of sleeping bags, and about a thousand different pillows of every shape and material in existence.

I'd probably only been passed out for a few hours, and I'm quite positive I was still very buzzed, because I didn't feel like dying yet.

The first thing I noticed though was that Simon was missing from the 'tent'. Instead of assuming he was asleep somewhere else, I got up and went to look for him. I snatched my messenger bag on the way out, which was hanging off a tree branch. It took a while to track down Simon, or at least it felt like a long time. But eventually I found him down by the river on the other side of our field. It was far enough away from our 'campsite' that no one would overhear us, or even see us if they weren't really looking.

Simon heard me coming and turned to look me with an almost contemplative expression on his face. He was sitting on the ground with his knees pulled, his arms resting on them. I dropped my bag, winked at him, and fell down straight into his lap. Simon laughed and shifted around a bit to accommodate me so that I could properly settle myself against him. He wrapped his arms around me and I led my head back on his shoulder. The sun was just beginning to rise, so the sky was bathed in an almost gentle light.

"I don't think it will ever be better than this." Simon said, his voice gravely, probably from lack of sleep, or possibly from all the sing-shouting he did last night. There were some pretty wild ad-hoc karaoke moments back there. Most of them started and carried out by the birthday boy himself.

I didn't reply to Simon at first. It didn't feel like I needed to. Then I remembered something. I pulled away from Simon and grabbed my messenger bag from where I'd dumped it behind him. I grinned at Simon's questioning expression.

"I have a surprise for you." I said gleefully.

Simon looked both curious and apprehensive. He knows me well enough to have such dual reactions on instinct.

I opened up the bag and pulled out a blue plastic container. I shoved it into Simon's hands and gestured for him to open it. Simon peered at the box, looking like he expected there to be a small explosive inside. He shaked the box a couple of times and then narrowed his eyes suspiciously at me.

"It's not alive is it?"

I quirked an eyebrow at him,

"Why would I give you something alive?"

Simon just stared right back at me and said,

"You've given me weirder things. I remember the elastic band and blue tack dragon you made in science class that actually breathed fire. Somehow. You gave that to me for my tenth birthday."

"And that was an awesome present." I said, grinning widely at him.

Simon made a noise of disagreement,

"You didn't tell me about the fire thing and I accidentally singed my eyebrows off."

"To be fair I didn't know if the fire thing would work. I didn't want to ruin the present by telling you it could breathe fire if it actually couldn't." I explained.

Simon shook his head at me, a strangely fond, but bewildered, smile on his face.

"Only **_you_** could ever logic something out in that way."

I took that as a compliment, whether it was intended to be one or not.

Simon slowly, and with ridiculous care, opened the plastic container and peaked inside. His eyebrow shot up and his eyes darted back to meet mine. A smile began fighting it's way across Simon's mouth. He put the plastic container down beside him. I blinked, confused. But then Simon grabbed hold of my arms and yanked me across the grass so I was back in his lap, but facing him this time.

It surprised me enough that I laughed. My laughter was cut off abruptly though when Simon leaned forward and caught my mouth in a kiss. His mouth was soft and warm, and the kiss itself was full of pure sweetness. It was the kind of kiss you read about in story books. The kind of kiss you're taught to believe don't actually happen in real life.

Simon pulled back eventually, and it was like waking up from a hazily perfect dream. I linked our fingers and squeezed his hands. We just stared at each other for what felt like years to me.

Then I burst out laughing, and Simon had quickly fallowed suit. Happiness and pent up emotion rolled around inside me.

"Happy Birthday Simon." I said through my laughter.

Simon closed his eyes and looked up to the sky, his shoulders still shaking as he continued to laugh.

I turned around in Simon's arms and got myself settled back into my original position. Simon's arms came around me again, and I pick up the plastic container. Simon reached a hand over to pick up the cupcake inside.

"Please tell me you made this yourself." Simon said, amusement thick in his voice.

I said proudly,

"You bet your birthday boy ass I did."

The cupcake was, first of all way bigger than I first intended, but there was a baking incident that could not be avoided. I blamed Clary for distracting me with her face and such. Clary argued that she wasn't even in the room at the time, so how could that work. I said her face was still there metaphorically so it definitely counted. The cake part of the cupcake was blue sponge. On top was thick swirly silver icing, decorated with the words 'Happy Getting Old Day, Si!' spelt out with eatable black stars. And the icing was rimmed with rainbow hundreds and thousands that made it look like fireworks were bursting out of it. Yeah, seriously, it was a massive cupcake, folks.

"It's awesome. Tell me you think it's awesome. I spent five hours on that thing." I said.

"It's better than awesome." Simon said, and I could somehow hear the smile in his voice. "It's you in cake form."

Simon pressed his lips to the back of my head, and I felt something close to honey sweet warmth fill my stomach. We both sat back then and watched the sun rise. For just that one morning, the whole world glowed.

It felt like a promise. The sky. Simon's touch. The warmth I felt for him in that moment. Everything.

That's the last time I remember feeling so full of hope for the future. For mine and Simon's and Clary's. Nothing could touch us, we were golden.

Of course, now, I've never felt so hopeless.

I'm pulled back out of my own head when two hands touch my shoulders. One of them belonging to a openly worried looking Blondie, and the other to a worried-but-trying-to-hide-it Cap.

For a second I want to laugh at the ridiculous turn my life has taken as of late. But I quickly force myself to get a grip. Now is so not the time to have a mental breakdown, although I feel I'm sort of due one.

Stoneface appears unperturbed by my stint into yesteryear, and instead of yelling at me, like I think maybe she secretly wants to, she storm past us instead. She almost knocks Max over in her one woman mission. I grab hold of Max before he can land on his ass and glare at the back of Stoneface's head. Clearly someone either needs to get laid, or eat something chocked full of sugar. Personally I'm leaning towards the need for both once all of this is over.

"I'm cool, no worries." I tell Cap and Blondie. Neither of them look very convinced of that.

"Maybe you should take a breather." Blondie says, his eyes taking me in as if trying to spot visible injuries that he could fix instead of having to deal with emotional ones.

I instantly feel like shit for making either Blondie or Cap stress out over things that are so not their problem. My problems, outside of this whole dick-dad/COD thing, aren't stuff they should even need to be thinking about.

Isy-tron and her Mom are following Stoneface around whilst she pokes and touches things for seemingly no reason. Maybe she's not so bad after all, I can get down with randomly poking things that aren't supposed to be poked. I could make a living out of that shit.

"I'm not going anywhere." I say firmly to Blondie.

"But you're obviously upset Ever and you don't need to be here-" Blondie starts, all concerned and genuine, damn him.

Cap cuts Blondie off though and says,

"If Ever says she can handle it, then she can handle it." He actually smiles at me, like he and I share a secret. "I've see her take on a werewolf with a baseball bat that had sequins on it. I have faith in her ability to handle pretty much fucking anything after all she's been through."

My eyes sting just a little bit, and I consider attacking Cap with that cuddle now. Cap seems to sense that because he scowls at me and says,

"Don't. Keep your hands to yourself."

Blondie cracks a smile too at that.

"He hates hugs." Blondie tells me.

"I know." I reply honestly. "I'm not offering a hug. I'm offering a cuddle. Completely different."

"I don't like hugs or cuddles or anything relating to those two terrible, evil, things."

Blondie and I exchange a knowing glance. We say at the same time,

" _Liar_."


	11. Man-Angst Vs Idris Wh*res

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do NOT own Shadowhunters. Or The Mortal Instruments. The only thing I own in this fic is my character 'Ever'.

So, to catch you up. Stoneface spent ages poking around the New York Institute and asking invasive questions that clearly made everyone uncomfortable. She insulted Cap's mother, Blondie, me, Isy-tron and...well pretty much anyone she came into contact with.

I think I might like her.

Then we got a message informing us of an attack from last night that looks Valentine-related. It involved the fluffy people, so I gave Luke a call and told him we'd be on our way to check it out. Stoneface, of course, insisted on coming with us. We all headed down to the docks together. Well, not all, but enough of us to keep my thoroughly entertained.

When we're weaving in and around storage containers at my ex-kidnapped site, Stoneface actually says to Cap,

"I can see why all girls in Idris are clamouring to meet you."

Like those words literally came out of her face.

Both Cap and Blondie tense up on either side of me and I take note of the weird reaction. I hold up a hand and flap it in front of Stoneface to get her undivided attention. I reach up to ruffle Cap's hair. He tries to escape, but I don't let him. I say to Stoneface,

"Woah there, newby, I'll thank you not to say such forward shit to my best friend." I nod at Blondie. "His Shadowpuppet husband will get pissy and _way_ jealous."

"I would not get jealous!" Blondie exclaims in a not at all convincing shriek. I give him the mightiest of raised eyebrows. Blondie relents and adds, "Fine. But I'd only get jealous because all the girls in Idris are apparently interested in Alec, and not me. I mean that's just rude."

"Yeah, yeah, you keep telling yourself that." I say, giving him a placating smile. Then I lean over to mock whisper to Stoneface, "Blondie is going through some serious sexuality issues at the moment."

"I do NOT have issues with my sexuality." Blondie practically shouts at me.

Cap groans and wipes a hand over his face, looking mortified in front of Stoneface.

"Why are all the girls in Idris clamouring to meet me?" Cap asks Stoneface.

"Cap, I believe I have the answer to that one." I peer up at him.

Cap turns to me reluctantly with a look of pure of suspicion.

"What?"

"You do own this new fangled thing called a 'mirror', right?" I ask, deadpan.

Cap give me on his unimpressed eye rolls. Blondie is laughing quietly.

"Yes. I do in fact own one of those." Cap says, he nods at Blondie. "Jace actually has several."

"Is that all together, or per room?" I ask, unable to stop myself from smirking.

Cap laughs at that one, and I feel a sense of victory.

Blondie sniffs at us and says,

"You can mock me, but my masculine beauty scorns you both. I'll have you know that it's very hard being one of the beautiful people surrounded by you trolls all the time."

Oh that bitch.

"Cap, the living Ken doll just insulted us."

"I heard." Cap says gravely. "We should kill him."

"Agreed!" I say, raising my hand.

Stoneface, who has been watching us curiously this whole time, cuts in with,

"Actually, I've been hearing rumours that Alec Lightwood is looking for a wife."

Cap's eyes widen, although not exactly in surprise. More dawning horror.

I scoff at Stoneface and pat Cap's chest.

"Cap already has a wife," I poke Blondie. "His name is Blondie."

"Jace isn't my wife." Cap says in exasperation. "And he's not my Shadow-whatever husband either."

"No, not if you keep talking like that he won't be." I say, shaking my head at Cap. "Honestly Cap, Blondie is gonna start thinking you're ashamed of him."

"I am ashamed of him." Cap says, sighing heavily. "I'm ashamed of him, myself, and all the life choices I've made so far that have led me here, to meeting _you_."

I slap a hand over my chest and rock backwards a few steps.

"Ouch Cap, you meany bo beany. How could you be so cruel to your new bestie?"

"Very easily." Cap says dryly, "You're extremely annoying."

"They're always like this." Blondie tells a confused looking Stoneface. "Constantly flirting with each other they are. It's despicable. I mean I'm standing right here."

"I do not flirt with Ever!" Cap _lies_ , shooting a glare at Blondie.

Blondie ignores Cap completely and continues saying forlornly to Stoneface,

"He never flirts with _me_. It's actually very hurtful."

"Yeah, well." I look at Blondie sympathetically, "They do say that after the first few years of marriage the spark can go out if you don't work at it."

"Oh by the Angel, you two are ridiculous people." Cap complains.

"So why do all the _whores of Idris_ think you're ready for marriage, Cap?" I ask him.

Cap groans again and his shoulders slump.

"His parents are probably trying to set him up." Stoneface answers instead. "My parents tried to do the same thing."

"Did it work?" I ask her curiously.

"No." Stoneface actually smiles a little bit, which weird the crap out of me. Maybe she's been momentarily possessed. "I followed my own path and married the love of my life. John Monteverde. Together we were going to run the Lisbon Institute." Stoneface's confidence falters. "But then John was killed. Everything was ripped away. My love, my dream job..."

"That's so awful." I say, reaching over to take her hand. Apparently that's more familiarity than she's used to, because Stoneface blinks at me in surprise. "I know it doesn't help to say I'm sorry, so I wont say it. But I do know what it feels like to have your whole life turned upsidedown. Being forced to live a life so different from the one you thought you'd have."

And I might also know what it feels like to lose someone you love by the end of today if I let Simon die. I don't add that part though.

Blondie, Cap and Stoneface are all staring at me, and I begin to feel a little bit self-conscious.

Luckily we've reached the entrance of the Chinese restaurant so I'm able to pull away from all of them and go inside to escape the questioning stares.

...

"It's got some characteristics of a forsaken." Stoneface says, her eyes fixe firmly on the dead creature on the floor of the restaurant.

I try not to make a face as I look over the body. It's one hell of a nasty old corpse. All shrivelled and slimy. Not that any corpses are particularly nice to look at, but still. This is the worst one I've ever seen.

"It was more focused. Seemed like it had a plan." Luke says, kneeling down on the other side of the body.

I don't like how they're using the word 'it' in this scenario. He's a 'he', not an 'it'. I almost say so, but then realise how stupid that would sound to these people, so I keep my mouth shut. It would be pointless anyway. They wouldn't understand why it matters to me. I'm not even sure I fully understand why it matters. I just know that it does.

"We'll take the body back to Institute. Do a full autopsy." Stoneface announces, standing up.

"Hold on." Luke says, standing up again as well. "I know I asked you, actually I asked Ever and her bodyguards to come here." He gives me a fond smile, and Blondie and Cap an amused look. To be fair, they do keep hovering near me almost constantly.

Luke continues speaking to Stoneface in his most reasonable tone. It used to great on my nerves when he's use it to lecture me about stuff, as he often did when I was younger.

"I didn't want someone to just come and take over."

"Yeah, she's kind of on a bossy warpath at the moment." I say, jerking my thumb at Stoneface.

Stoneface sends a chilled glare my way, but I just grin back at her.

"Look, I know I can come across...abrasive." Stoneface says, her expression tight.

"What? You? Never." I say, "It's more like you have a big stele up your-"

" _Thank you_ Ever!" Cap interrupts far too loudly.

"We're all on the same side here." Stoneface says diplomatically. "Can we at least agree on that?"

I'm gonna go with... _no_. But I'm not exactly the deciding vote around here.

Luke looks reluctant, but I smile at him reassuringly and he relents. I think about telling him what's going on with Simon but...I don't really want to. Talking about it makes the whole fucked up situation seem more real, and I would like to stay in denial about that for as long as possible until I can figure out what the hell I'm going to do.

...

"Hey, looks like we think alike." I say, walking out onto the roof of the Institute.

Cap is sitting near the edge, his back against a stone pillar. He looks at me, but his expression is absent. His eyes are devoid of emotion. Or at least they seem that way.

I walk over and opposite him. Cap doesn't tell me to 'fuck off' despite the anger I can feel emanating off of him right now, so I take that as a good sign and settle back against another stone pillar.

We brought the dead body of the creature that attacked Luke to the Institute. Magnus was brought in to take a look at it, and Isy-tron is down in the lab helping her figure out what the hell he was. We know it's definitely from Valentine, but that doesn't mean much unless we can figure out what he did to turn a man into the deadly being Luke described.

Of course that isn't why Cap is up on this roof, alone, and brooding up a storm of man-angst. Stoneface had to go and accidentally let it slip earlier that the Lightwoods were in league with Valentine at some point in the past. Cap, predictably, didn't take it at all well.

Cap stormed off after some biting words about his parents. I wanted to go after him, but Blondie told me to let Cap cool off first. Now, a few hours later, I've finally managed to slip off and find him. Blondie is busy babysitting Stoneface, so Cap and I have some time to ourselves.

I'm not actually sure what to say at first. Cap and I just avoid looking directly at each other for a while. I actually enjoy the silence. It's been far too manic lately. I've missed being able to relax. So I'll take advantage of this reprieve, even if it's only for a short amount of time.

Surprisingly, it's actually Cap who breaks the silence.

"I...I've done everything...I've done everything they've asked of me. I was loyal to them and the Clave. How could they not tell me this?" Cap looks at me then, his dark eyes filling with an almost desperate sense of despair.

I wish that I could take away his doubt and the sense of betrayal he feels because of his parents' choices, but I know that no matter what anyone says or does, it won't actually change what's already been done.

"Whatever they did or didn't do, Cap, it's not like they did any of it to hurt you." I say gently.

Cap scoffs, his tone harsh and cutting when he says,

"No, but they lied to me."

"Well, they didn't lie. They just omitted the truth." I argue, although it sounds thin even to me.

Cap's jaw clenches tightly, but he still manages to bite out,

"I'm their _son_. They should have at least told me why it was so important for Isabelle and I to appease the Clave by being perfect little warriors."

I can hear the frustration and bitterness in his voice. It's an ugly sound, and not one I like hearing from Cap.

"Maybe you should talk to them." I say. "They might have had their reasons. Good ones. Or shitty ones. Either way, you're not gonna know the answer to any of your questions unless you ask."

I keep our gazes locked. I see the very heart of him in his eyes, and in return I show him mine. Cap reaches over to me and wraps a warm hand around my wrist. He pulls on my arm until I shuffle forward a bit. Cap runs his thumb over the most sensitive part of my wrist, and I enjoy the openly familiar, and almost intimate, contact. For whatever reason, we both seem to find comfort in each others presence.

It's strange really because I've never felt so comfortable with anyone before in my life. Not even Simon.

Of course, now I can't stop thinking about Simon and all the horrible things I need to make decisions about soon. Cap picks up on my change in mood and his brow creases speculatively. He's still looking right a me when he asks,

"Are you ready for what it'll mean to help your best friend turn into a vampire?"

I blink at him a couple of times before replying,

"Who says I'm turning him and not stabbing him through the heart like the nice vampy bastard said?"

Cap makes circular motions on my wrist with his thumb, the motion half way between thoughtful and soothing. He says,

"If I've learnt anything about you in the time we've known each other, Ever, it's that you are far too stubborn to just give up on someone you care about."

I have no idea what to say in response to that. It's a strangely kind thing for Cap to say, which is unusual all by itself, never mind the content of it. I narrow my eyes ever so slightly at Cap,

"I think you like me." I say slyly.

Cap snorts derisively and shakes his head,

"Not even a little bit. I despise you. In fact I rue the day you barged into Jace that night outside the club."

I pull out my most fake sounding fake gasp and say,

"OK, first of all, I don't know how Blondie has been telling the story with his LIES, but it was actually the other way around. Blondie was the one who bumped into me that fateful, weird-ass, night. I was just innocently wandering around minding my own business. He should have been watching where he was strutting."

"He does strut doesn't he?" Cap says, the ghost of a smile appearing on his face.

I roll my eyes and groan,

"Oh, don't get me started on that. He walks around like an exiled prince. Seriously, Blondie is the pure embodiment of the hero/love interest from every fantasy young adult novel in existence."

That force a laugh out of Cap's mouth.

"I have no idea what that means, but yeah, Jace can seem more like a book character than a real person sometimes."

"True dat." I say in agreement. "And you've never read a fantasy YA novel? How? That's like saying you've never worn pants before. I'll have to lend you some of my old ones."

Cap makes a face at me,

"That literally sounds like the most awful thing ever. Please do not do that. And how are books anything like pants?"

A grin so wide it hurts takes my mouth hostage.

"Wow Cap, are we actually, finally, going to have a discussion about pants? I didn't think we were there yet, emotionally I mean, but alright, lets do it."

"Who has discussions about pants? What are you talking about? How did we get here? What have I been doing with my life that I could end up sitting on a roof top with a girl and talking about absolute rubbish when there are actual serious things to be focusing on?"

"Ah," I wave a hand dismissively, "forget serious shit for a minute. Lets talk about what character you would be in a YA fantasy novel."

"This is insane, I refuse to take part in-"

"Too late, the topic has already been established."

"Oh by love of the angel, I-"

"Best male friend of heroine who secretly pines for heroine in not-so-secret maybe? Eh, no. Too moody for that and not at all nice or doormat-ish enough. Oh, oh, how about the obligatory cliché flamboyant LGBT character? We'd need to get you a more flashy sense of style... maybe a fedora or something, but I could make it work."

"I'm not gay." Cap says plainly, and without any inflection.

I regard his seriously for about two seconds before saying,

"Ok. Sure."

"Seriously I'm not gay."

I stare at him for a long time.

"Fine. Gay-ish. But not _gay-_ gay." Cap argues vehemently.

I scrunch up my nose and ask curiously,

"What's _gay-_ gay and how does it differ from just full on GAY?"

"This is a stupid conversation."

"Hey, you started it."

"No I fucking did not! You did!"

"Oh, come on, who knows who started it. The beginning of this conversation was, like, a whole three minutes ago."

"I do not understand how I keep letting you drag me into these things." Cap says, eyeing me warily, as if I might suddenly explode into a cloud of glitter and happy feelings. I bet I could do that if I concentrated hard enough.

I tilt my head and say whimsically,

"You seek excitement in your life, and clearly Blondie is too boring to provide it. Enter stage left, Ever Fray."

Cap finally gives in and starts stroking my wrist again. I think it calms his nerves to do it. I know his famliar touch definitely makes me feel better.

"Oh for fucks sake." Cap says with a long, drawn out sigh. "Fine. You win. But how about instead of being the cliché obligatory gay character I could be the not-quite-as-well-known-still-figuring-out-his-sexuality character?"

I think it over. Sounds fair to me.

"Alright, I can get on board with that." I say in satisfaction.

"What does that make you though?" Cap asks, seeming oddly thoughtful. "What character are you, the damsel in distress?"

I make an offended sound in the back of my throat and give Cap an incredulous look.

"No. Of course not. In this particular version of the story, Blondie is the damsel in distress. I'm the hero. And you're the plucky young lad who helps me out."

"Taking a bit of creative licence there." Cap says, sounding almost amused, which I still count as a victory considering how angry he was when I first sat down in front of him.

All I really know is that Cap is smiling at me, and I'm smiling at him, and the whole moment feels weirdly amazing and I'm not sure what to do with it. Blondie I can just about handle. Wanting him and feeling so intensely attracted to him. It makes sense to me at least even if it feels like more than just simple desire in the physical sense. What's going on with me and Cap, however, is a whole other problem. And it's a situation I'm completely unfamiliar with. I don't like not knowing what to do about something that matters.

"Ah, so this is where the secret meeting is taking place. My invitation must have gotten lost somewhere." Cap and I both almost have in unison heart-attacks from shock when a clear voice rings out from the doorway that leads out onto the roof.

I turn to look at Blondie and say,

"I sent a message to your spy ring. Not my fault you dropped it down the toilet."

Blondie doesn't miss a beat and replies,

"I didn't drop it down the toilet. That would be ridiculous. I'll have you know that my dog ate it."

I push myself up a bit against the wall, keeping my eyes on Blondie. I'm not sure if I want to see the bashful expression that is probably on Cap's face right now.

"Hey Blondie! Me and your soon-to-be-ex-shadow-puppet-husband were having a serious discussion out here. We don't want you and any of your nonsense barging in and ruining it, thank you."

Blondie strides over to us and drops down to our level, completing our circle of three. He throws a smirk at Cap. Cap stares back at him challengingly. Years of friendship clearly show themselves in the way Blondie and Cap respond to each other. They don't even need to say anything to have an entire conversation, or argument in this case.

I allow the boys to get on with their silently macho man-gossip about what I'm sure is non-stop wubbish.

I have more important things to be worrying about. Like how I'm supposed to get my sister and mother back from Valendouche, a.k.a Daddy. Or what the right choice is for Simon. I keep trying to think what Simon would want me to do. But it's not like Simon and I ever sat around asking each other what we would do if one of us was half changed into a vampire. Which is odd really, because we've had far weirder conversations over the years.

"Ever, hello, earth to Ever!" Someone clicks their fingers right in front of my face, and I react on instinct.

"Ow! Fucking hell! She bit me! Alec, she _bit_ me!" Blondie shouts, waving his freshly bitten hand around wildly.

Cap is cracking up so hard that I'm half afraid he's going to accidentally injure himself.

I wipe a hand over my mouth and glare at Blondie.

"Yeah, well, that's what you get for clicking in my face."

"I was just trying to get your attention. You spaced out on us." Blondie defends himself, cradling his bitten hand against his chest. Oh, he's such a big shadow baby. "You bit me." He says again. "You actually full on bit me, you dangerous creature."

I roll my eyes at his theatrics,

"Oh my pop-tarts, get over it. I didn't even break the skin."

"She bit me." Blondie says to Cap in disbelief. He holds his hand out for Cap to have a look.

Cap is still snickering to himself, but he takes the time to inspect Blondie's bitten hand before saying,

"I know Ever bit you. I saw her do it. And I think it was deserved. I told you to leave her alone when she was thinking. But you didn't listen." Cap looks to me then and adds, "He never listens to me." He shakes his head at Blondie. "See, and this is what happens when you don't listen. You get bitten by an Ever." I share a smirk with Cap.

Blondie makes a strangled sound.

"Would you two quit acting like BFF's for two seconds? Seriously, because, it was weird at first; now it's just fucking disconcerting. You're starting to scare people. Namely me."

"Oi, we were having a pretty serious discussion out here before you interrupted." I say, pushing at Blondie's shoulder.

Blondie gives me the driest look ever and says,

"Oh really? Because on my way up here all I heard was you trying to make Alec read teenage romance novels."

"First of all, they're called Fantasy young adult novels. Secondly, it's incredibly impolite to eavesdrop. Possibly illegal even. I may have to turn you over to the secret organisation of wizard cops."

"There are no wizard cops." Blondie says plainly.

"Of course you would think that. They're a _secret_ organisation, doofus _._ " I say, because, like, obviously.

"Alright, that's it, I give up." Blondie says. He lifts his hands up and then lets them flop down into his lap.

"Really?" I say in disappointment, "Cap held out for at least another round."

Blondie sends Cap a look of abject mocking.

"Oh, aren't you just so special."

"Hey," Cap says, holding his hands up in a placating gesture, "I'm just the plucky young lad who helps out."

And that's my cue to die of laughter.

...

Well, I was wrong about this whole 'turning Simon into a vampire' thing.

I thought it would be awful, but this is actually lot creepier than I originally imagined. So good on the Shadow world for being creepy as fuck. Metaphorical round of applause everyone!

Right, so, of course I decided to help turn Simon. Did anyone of us really think otherwise? No. Probably not. But it took a lot more pointless thinking for me to come to the same conclusion.

Blondie helped me bring Simon to the graveyard.

He places Simon on the ground with a surprising amount of care. I'm grateful that he's being tactful for once.

But before we can actually... _bury_ -and I mean for fucks sake **_bury_** -my best friend, Camille decides to show her vampy ass. I am not pleased by this turn of events. Not pleased. NOT PLEASED!

Hear me roar universe, you asshole!

"Well, are you just gonna stand there staring at me all night, or are you going to tell me what the hell you want?" I bite out.

Camille just stands there, looking the very epitome of fucking bitchy. I'd almost be impressed if she hadn't ruined Simon's life for no reason other than the fact that she is a compete bitch.

"I want my property back." Camille says coldly.

That makes my blood boil. I bring Tony out to play, and he really want to cut Camille's head off, which is a coincidence because I want to do that too.

"Keep talking like that, bitchzilla, and I'll be using that shovel to bury _you_." I snarl at her.

Bitchzilla looks nonplussed, but she doesn't move any closer.

"If you'll just hand him over, I'll be on my way."

Not a fucking chance.

"Don't you _dare_ touch him." I can practically _taste_ the venom behind my words.

"You heard, Ever, you're not getting anywhere near Simon." Blondie says, moving up beside me holding his own weapon and pointing it threateningly at Bitchzilla.

"Fine." Bitchzilla says, "I tried to do this the nice way. Remember that." She clicks her fingers and a legion of vampy assholes show up.

Head vamp Raphael takes a step forward.

"I'm glad you brought everyone here Camille, to witness your demine." Raphael points at Simon and addresses the other vamps. "Camille killed this mundane. Now I have proof. She's been breaking the accords for far too long. He's the evidence we need to show the Clave what she's been doing."

Bitchzilla chuckles, and I instantly want to drive a stake through her heart. Twice.

"Are you trying to overthrow me?" Bitchzilla asks in a bored tone of voice.

"No." Raphael says smugly. "I already have."

All the vampy people surround Bitchzilla, but she just sneers at them.

"You can't do this. I've given you everything. Raphael doesn't know the first thing about leading. I'm your only hope. You need me."

"You've been breaking the law, which will only doom us all." Raphael says angrily.

Bitchzilla turns a disgusted look on Simon.

"If we just get rid of this mundane's body then he means _nothing_."

Ok, that's enough. It's so _on_.

I stalk towards Bitchzilla and swipe out with my seraph blade. It catches her across the stomach. Bitchzilla yelps and hisses with pain, jumping back and away from me.

I take another menacing step towards her and growl,

"Don't think for a single second that I won't kill you where you stand, _bitch_."

I take another swipe at Bitchzilla, she's ready for me this time, but I still manage to cut her left cheek open. It's a superficial wound, but it makes my point and that's all I care about.

The vamps take care of Bitchzilla and I'm left alone with Blondie, Raphael and Simon's not-yet-dead body.

I take the shovel from Raphael wordlessly when he holds it out and begin to dig a hole. A hole where my best friend will be buried. I can barely even contemplate it without feeling physically sick to my stomach. But I keep digging anyway.

I let my mind drift as I dig, thinking about anything other than Simon and what I'm having to do to him.

I think about the short, but heated, argument Cap and Blondie had just before I left for the graveyard. I didn't actually hear what they were arguing about, but by the way they both stared pointedly at me when I came into the room, I'm gonna go ahead and guess I was a main feature of their argument. All Blondie would say when I asked him about it afterwards was that only one of them needed to come with me to the graveyard.

Why Blondie and Cap would argue about which of them had to accompany me to one of the worst moments of my life, is not something I'm even going to guess at.

All I know is that before I left, Cap gave me a hug, of his own free will and everything. He held onto me tightly, like we could stay like that forever, and part of me wished we could. Just so I wouldn't have to face all the other bullshit waiting for me in the real world.

When the hole is dug for Simon, I kneel down next to Simon's body. I place a gentle, shaking, hand on his chest and lean down to kiss his lips softly.

"I wish I knew if this was what you'd want, Simon. I wish I wasn't such a coward. But I can't kill you. I could never kill you. I couldn't even go to your mom and tell her you wouldn't...wouldn't ever be coming home. It's just that you mean so much to me, Si. _So much_. More than I think you'll ever know. I remember all the times you stood up for me when people were nasty about my...slightly off-track personality. I remember how you always tried to make me smile when I felt shitty. I remember every little thing you did and said with the sole purpose of making me happy. You did those things because you are a good man. You may not believe that, but I do. And I have no doubts in my mind that being a vampire won't change all the wonderful things that you are. I know you're strong enough to get through this, and I promise that I will be here for you, no matter what happens."

I suck in a deep shuddering breathe. And then I turn to Raphael and Blondie. I nod at them both once, and they spring into action.

Together, we bury Simon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU TO EVERYONE FOR READING AND PLEASE REVIEW! XXX


	12. Love Is Weird. For Real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do NOT own Shadowhunters. Or The Mortal Instruments. The only thing I own in this fic is my character 'Ever'.

Word to the wise; vampire resurrections are way more disturbing in real life than they are in the movies.

Simon scrapped and clawed his way out of the grave I dug for him. He showed me how strong he could be. Simon may never acknowledge the truth of that, but I'll always know. And I won't ever forget the look on Simon's face when he realised what I'd made him. The betrayal of it. The self-loathing I didn't know Simon was capable of feeling.

When he looked at me, I found myself unable to speak, even just to apologise like I wanted to. I'm not sure if I deserve to tell Simon how sorry I am. Apologising seems too much like asking the person you've wronged to forgive you. I definitely don't feel that I've earned the right to ask for Simon's forgiveness. Maybe I never will.

Head vampy person Raphael fed Simon, and I found myself oddly fascinated by the sight of Simon desperately drinking blood. I don't think I've ever seen him want to something that badly before. I wonder what it's like to crave blood, to know in your own mind that what you want makes you a monster in the eyes of many.

Simon isn't a monster to me. He could kill a thousand people and I would still see the boy who shared his chocolate chip cookies with me every lunch time.

Apparently Simon doesn't feel the same way about himself, because he ran off, spouting off rubbish about being a monster. I almost wish I could shout at him for that. For thinking he could ever be anything less than the good, kind hearted, person I've know practically my whole life.

Raphael chased after Simon using his super fantastical vampy speed. Blondie and I followed close behind with our slightly less impressive Shadowpuppet speed.

Even so, it didn't take me and Blondie long to catch up with Raphael. When we find him though, Simon is already gone again. God damn it Simon! I am trying to save your newly vamped ass! I mean, I'm the one who fucked up his life to begin with, but still, that's not really the point right now.

I poke Head cheese vamp hard on the chest and demand hotly,

"Where is my semi-dead best friend you giant butthead?"

Blondie touches my arm gently,

"Ever, I don't think calling him a butthead is going to help this situation any-"

I shrug his hand off. It already burns to be so close to him, having actual contact is just way too much. I cannot concentrate on Simon and all the fucked upness going on between us if I have Blondie clouding my judgement and distracting me. I wish I'd brought Cap instead. At least he wouldn't try to be nice to me. I'm pretty sure Cap is allergic to sugar, spice and everything nice. Like an anit-powerpuff girl or some shit.

And I really hope I remember that one for later because Cap expression is sure to be hilarious if I ever call him an anit-powerpuff girl to his face. I'll have to bookmark that one for sure.

I glare at Blondie and snap,

"I can call him a butthead. I can call _you_ a butthead. I can call _anyone in the world_ a butthead. It is my right as an American citizen. So shut your trap, Blondie."

I know I'm being stupid and childish, but when I'm upset I get growly and mean, so we're all just going to have to deal with that.

Blondie matches my glare with one of his own and we try to stare each other down. It's not quite the same as my staring contests with Cap though. There's a different kind of heat between us.

"Simon ran off." Head cheese vamp says.

"Yes, thank you Dracupunk, I gathered that already. It wasn't all that difficult to piece together seeing as I'm not, you know, _blind_." I glare at Head cheese vamp, putting as much 'I do not like your face' into my expression as is physically possible.

"He'll be back when he's ready to face what he's become."

"What your bitchvamp of a leader made him you mean." I correct, anger seeping out of me. Anger and, lets be honest, a shit load of guilt too.

"Hey, I gave you a choice." Head cheese vamp narrow his eyes at me challengingly. "You chose to turn Simon. He's what he is now because of _you_."

It sounds like an accusation. It feels like an accusation. And worst of all, Head cheese vamp is completely justified in what he's saying because it _was_ my decision to turn Simon, and he _is_ a vampire right now because _I_ couldn't let him die. At least not technically.

Everything that happens to Simon from here on out will be a direct result of what I've done to him. My best friend will have very right to hate me, and I can't even defend myself. Not really. I did what I did, and it was for partially selfish reasons. I can't pretend that I didn't bring Simon back, at least in part, for myself. I need Simon. I love Simon. He's part of my family, and with my mother and sister missing, I couldn't stand the thought of losing anyone else to the Shadow world.

" _Don't_ talk to her like that Raphael. You told us you'd look after him." Blondie gives Head cheese vamp a look of reproach. He seems almost as pissed as I am, and I bet he'd just love to take it out on Raphael right now. I kind of wish he could. And that makes me a bit wrong in the head. Maybe there really is something to this whole 'Valentine's daughter is evil, burn her!' theory. I won't admitting that to the Shadowpuppet bastards any time soon, but there it is anyway.

"I can't help Simon until he's willing to let me." Head cheese vamp says with an air of finality. Oh this is so far from fucking over that it's not even funny.

"Care to explain that one hotshot?" I demand, not even caring what I must sound like to Blondie. He can either get on the crazy train with me, or fuck off. And that goes for everyone else as well.

"Simon has gone where everyone goes when this happens." Head cheese says, sighing dramatically.

I run a hand though my hair, holding onto my head to stop myself from attacking someone. And by someone I mean Rahphael.

"I swear to Satan, if one more person answers my perfectly reasonable questions with cryptic responses then shit is gonna get _fucked up_." For real.

"Let me know when he turns up." Head cheese vamp finally takes his cue to leave before I destroy him via snark. He looks directly into my eyes as he moves past me, "You'll need my help."

He'll need someone to remove my foot from his ass if he tries to force Simon into joining fangy cult.

Blondie glares after Head cheese vamp along side me, and I feel relieved, and annoyed for some reason, that we an be united in at least one thing.

I turn to Blondie and say,

"We need Cap." And Isy-tron. And Luke the alpha fluff. And Maggie the magnificent. And maybe a small army of vampire trackers to cover New York city as fast as possible.

Blondie gives me another one of his discernible looks, like he isn't quite sure what to make of what I'm saying to him. I don't understand what could be confusing him. I have said anything particularly weird in at least a few minutes.

"You need Alec?" Blondie questions slowly, as if sifting through the words to find the meaning behind them.

I smack his arm and say,

"Yes, obviously. Cap will help us find Simon. Get Isy-tron in on it as well if you can."

Blondie is still staring at me all bewildered, and maybe a little pissed, which I don't get at all. But he doesn't argue with me about any of it. Instead he takes out his phone and calls the Institute, or more accurately, my new bestie.

"Alec I need you-" Blondie starts, but he's cut off by someone talking on the other end of the line.

Blondie frowns and looks over at me. I move closer, curious, but unsure at the same time.

"Yes, Ever's fine Alec, she-what do you mean there's been an attack?"

My heart thumps loudly inside my chest. An attack? Is Cap ok? He sounds pained from over the phone, even though I can't hear all that well.

Blondie sounds worried and irate as he continues speaking,

"Alec, tell me about the attack, are you hurt? Who was it?" He pauses, listening, then frowns even harder. "I told you she's safe...I can protect her...yeah, fine, _alright_ Alec, hold on-"

Blondie practically rips the phone away from his ear and thrusts it at me.

"Take it. He wants to talk to you." Blondie says, clearly irritated that Cap doesn't trust his insistence that I'm alive and well and not at all dead like I probably should be by this point.

I know it would be wrong to smile at the petulant look on Blondie's face, so I take the phone and turns far enough away so I can hide the smile. Mostly. Sort of. Ish.

Ok, so I'm not hiding it very well at all. Sue me.

I press the phone to my ear, and it feels like my only lifeline when Cap's voice comes through loud and clear. I don't know if I've ever been so relieved to hear someone's voice over the phone before.

" _Ever, what happened with Simon? It's not safe for you to be out there right now_." Cap's voice sounds strained, and I'm immediately worried that he might actually be hurt.

"Things with Simon were a disaster, just like you said they'd be. But forget that for a minute, what happened over there? Are _you_ alright?" I ask desperately, hating the idea of something happening to my new friend, especially without me being there to help him.

There's a short, painful pause, and then,

" _I'm...dealing. Valentine created a forsaken that got through the wards of the Institute. It attacked me and Hodge. We killed it, and everything's fine. The forsaken was after the-"_

"Don't you even think the word 'cup'." I snarl. I hate that fucking cup with the power of a thousand burning suns, I swear it. If it's the last thing I do on this earth, I will make sure that cup dies a cup death of epic proportions.

I can hear Cap breathing in my ear. It sounds harsh and pained. My heart aches with the thought of Cap being attacked by my own father. It aches to think of Cap being attacked at all. I feel torn between my guilt for saving Simon, and my guilt for not being there for Cap. It feels like I've failed two friends in one day. Spectacularly.

" _I mean it Ever. You aren't safe out there. Come back to the Institute._ _Now._ " Cap says, and it isn't a request.

"I can't Cap. I need to find Simon. He's gone AWOL from vamp class 101." I say reluctantly. As much as I want to be with Cap and Isy-tron at the Institute to help them defeat evil Dad, I can't abandon Simon. Not when he's out there afraid and alone and not knowing what the fuck to do with himself. I already have enough things in my life that I won't ever forgive myself for. I don't need to be adding to the list now.

I can feel Blondie watching me with his arms crossed over his chest and his intense eyes completely focused on my every word, movement and breath. I'd take the time to take my shoe off and throw it at him if I wasn't so busy worrying about all the other bullshit I have to freak out over.

Cap makes a frustrated sound and says far too convincingly,

" _Fine,then_ _I'll come and find you-"_

 _"Like hell you will."_ I hear Isy-tron snort in the background. " _Less talking, more healing_. _Your new girlfriend will be perfectly alright without you going all white knight on her behalf."_

Too right. Ish. If we're being very optimistic about it that is.

Blondie takes the phone from me, his hand purposely brushing mine as he does so, causing a thousand prickles of heat to shoot down through my nerve endings.

"I'll be there as soon as I can." Blondie tells Cap and Isy-tron, then he hangs up the phone.

I look at him, and Blondie looks back at me, before striding away without another word.

Oh, good, so we're back to meaningful stares and flouncing off. Deep joy.

...

Blondie huffed off back to the Institute, which is probably for the best. I feel better knowing that both Blondie and Cap have each other to look out for and protect. I'd rather they concentrated on that than protecting me. I'm not even sure if I deserve their protection at the moment.

I went to Luke and asked him to help me track down Simon. He agreed after I explained the situation. He was annoyed that I didn't talk to him about changing Simon into a vampire, but I didn't want to argue with him about it. Speaking to Luke wouldn't have changed my mind about turning Simon into a vampire, so there's no point in dwelling on what I could have done.

We find Simon at his home, which altogether should have been my obvious first stop anyway. I managed to coax him out an away from his Mom, who is seriously freaked out. I wish I could tell her that Simon is alright, and that I can fix what's wrong with him, but that would one hell of a hefty lie.

Luke, Simon and I are walking down an in familair the street, the dark starless sky feels almost like an omen for what this night now represents.

"I feel sick." Simon says, sounding like he might just throw up at any second. Guilt and sympathy churns inside my gut.

"That's just the vampy blood lust talking, Si." I say, reaching over to place a gentle hand on his arm. Simon flinches away from me and I seriously fight the urge to launch myself at him and force my friend to take part in a more than half demented hug.

Simon gives me one of his well patented 'you will never understand me' teenage angst looks and says,

"What do you mean 'just'? I'm a vampire. A vampire who drinks blood. There is nothing 'just' about that."

I regard Simon thoughtfully for a moment before replying,

"Well, I think you'd be hard pressed to find a vampire who doesn't drink blood. In fact, a vampire who doesn't drink blood is a dead person. Or a zombie. Same diff I suppose." I realise about two seconds after I've said it that my words were both insensitive and not at all helpful to the current situation.

Simon, however, doesn't look very surprised. Then again, he does know me. Better than anyone. Maybe even better than my own twin sister when it comes to some things.

"I almost killed my own mother." Simon says in growing horror. He darts a glance over at me. "I can't do this Ever. I'm not supposed to be like this. Ev's, I was a normal guy. I was only ever supposed to be a normal guy. And now I'm...now I'm _this_." Simon gestures at himself in obvious disgust.

I want to point out that I've never thought of Simon as being particularly 'normal', but I know that probably wouldn't make him feel any better so I keep my mouth firmly closed on that score.

"I understand how you're feeling." Luke tells Simon sympathetically. "But I can help you, Simon. This doesn't have to be the end of everything. Not if you don't want it to be. You can still find a way to be you, even if some things need to be different."

Simon tears himself away from us and goes to press his back against a brick wall on the corner. He shuts his eyes and tips his head forward. I've never seen him look so defeated.

I look up at Luke #the fluffy ring leader and say,

"We need to get out of here. Please go and fetch the batmobile Wolverine."

Without opening his eyes Simon says firmly,

"Batman and Wolverine are from two different universes." He huffs frustrated sigh. "Why must you insist on ruining this night even more by speaking such blasphemy? I've already died, have I not suffered enough?"

Well, at least we know dork numero uno has not left the building, whatever else Simon might think about himself.

The fluff-father pats me on the shoulder reassuringly and goes to get the car. I do not feel in any way reassured. Just want to put that out there.

I take a few steps closer to Simon. Inside I'm warring with myself over the need to offer him comfort and at the same time give him some space.

I force a light tone and say,

"Don't be such a drama princess Si, I know this all sucks but-"

Simon opens his eyes then and cuts me off,

"Seriously, I've been turned into a freakin' vampire, my life is fucked, and you're making vampire puns?"

I press my lips tightly together for a moment, either to conceal a laugh or a sob, I honestly don't know which. Once I'm relatively sure I won't break down in some way or another, I say,

"Your life isn't fucked Si. You just have to feed-"

"Feed?" Simon's gaze burns into my skin with barely veiled rage. "That's what this is now? Like I'm in a zoo?"

"No!" I snap back angrily. God I am tired of all this shit. "Vampires don't live in zoos. They live in abandoned hotels apparently."

"I don't want to live in an abandoned hotel!" Simon argues vehemently.

"Alright fine, we'll find you a nice zoo. Better?" I yell at him, endlessly frustrated.

"No! No it is not 'better'! I'm a monster. Nothing will ever be 'better' again!" Simon yells back at me.

The yelling continues.

"That doesn't even make sense!"

"Well welcome to my world whenever you say anything!"

"Wow, vampire you is bitchy, Si!"

"Ev's, this is serious!"

"I _gathered_ that!"

"Then take it fucking seriously!"

"You first!"

"I am!"

"Oh yeah, whatever Mr I don't even sparkle properly!"

"I don't sparkle at all!"

"Exactly!"

"For the love of...why are we even yelling?"

"I don't know!"

"Then stop yelling at me!"

" _You_ stop yelling!"

People are starting to stare. Not good. So very not good.

Simon and I are left glaring at each other, although the argument itself is so ridiculous that I find it hard to actually maintain the pissed off expression on my face.

"You've ruined my life." Simon says after another beat of silence.

I suck in a harsh breathe and reply,

"I know."

Simon looks me up and down a few times, a war of emotion going on behind his eyes. He stares at me for a few more agonising seconds before sighing heavily and saying,

"Yeah, well, I forgive you."

I arch an eyebrow at him,

"For serious?"

"Yes. You lunatic." Simon huffs in exasperation.

"Why?" I ask suspiciously. "This isn't a ploy to lull me into a false sense of security so that you can plot my demise is it?"

Simon rolls his eyes so hard that it looks almost painful.

"I forgive you, and really this says more about my mental stability than yours, because I love you, Ever." Simon doesn't reach out to touch me, but he looks like he wants to, and that's more than enough. He makes sure our eyes are locked when he says, "I always have, and I always will. Unless you get me killed again. There have to be limits, Ev's."

Right. Yes. Well.

"Clearly you are mentally unwell for loving me at all." I say truthfully.

"Too late now. Might as well roll with it." Simon replies with a half shrug. He still looks tweaked out, but at least the mistrust is gone from his eyes now.

"That's the spirit." Sort of. "And hey, maybe at some point I'll die too and we can both be not-sparkly vampires."

"Hurray." Simon says dryly. "At least we have a back up plan."

"What's the plan before the back up plan?" I ask doubtfully.

"Um...survive?" Simon suggests, shrugging helplessly again.

I tilt my head from side to side, considering.

"We might need to work on that, but I like the theme of plan A at least."

Something tells me we might need plans throughout the entire alphabet.

...

Blondie and Cap called to let me know that the Clavicle are being buttheads again. No real surprise there of course. They've brought in Isy-tron's pixie boyfriend, or whatever, and they're planning on torturing him for information about Valentine. The Clavicle think the fairies and what-not are working with Valentine since it was fae blood that helped the forsaken get into the Institute. Isy-tron's boyfriend told Stone-face and co that we found the COD. Now the Clavicle are on the hunt for both the cup and me.

The whole thing is rather stupid. Stupid and so not my problem. But of course other people are gonna make it my problem, because life. So there.

To be fair, it is my fault everything is all fucked sideways, so the least I can do is help Isy-tron save her elf lover. I wonder if he knows Santa. That's definitely a question worth asking at some point.

After Simon finally agreed to feed, after a lot of poking and just generally bugging him into doing it, we decided it was safe enough to meet up with my fellow Shadowpuppets in arms.

When I catch sight of Blondie, Cap and Isy-tron, my heart squeezes with relief that they're both alive and relatively unharmed. I rush over to them. Blondie catches me in a hug first and he squeezes my smaller body tightly in his surprisingly strong arms.

"Thank God you're alright." Blondie says against my neck, letting out a breathe he'd clearly been holding for a while. A shiver races up and down my spine from the strangely intimate contact.

"Fuck God," I say with a snort, "you should be thanking my superior badass hiding skills."

Blondie reluctantly pulls away. He smiles down at me fondly, and I resist the urge to kick him. Blondie must sense the impending violence because he backs off a bit. Good. I am training him well.

Next up is Cap and I throw myself at him. Cap stills for a moment before allowing his arms to come around me in an embrace that rivals Blondie's for enthusiasm. Cap slides a hand into my hair and yanks me closer, our bodies pressing together in a way that speaks of an intimacy we should not have between us after knowing each other for such a short time.

"I was worried about you." Cap whispers into my ear, as if he's admitting some kind of awful secret.

"As you should." I whisper back. "I happen to be a very special snow flake."

Cap lets out a rough laugh and replies almost recklessly,

"Since we met I feel like I spend most of my time worrying about you."

"Is it too early to reminisce about that time we met behind a pillar?" I ask hopefully.

"I'm pretty sure we already did that." Cap says with obvious mirth.

"Ok, seriously guys, the hugging is getting awkward now." I hear Blondie say from somewhere behind me. "You're making everone uncomfortable."

"I second that." Simon says, and I just know he's raised his hand. Weirdo.

Cap and I let go of each other and step away. Like, away, away. Sort of.

"Can we please focus on the matter at hand?" Isy-tron gets on her pissy train and rings the bell. "Unless no one here cares that the Clave is planning on murdering Meliorn."

"I care!" I say waving my hand manically.

"We'll be going up against the Silent brothers, and a specially trained guard of Shadowhunters. Without back up." Blondie says warningly.

I scoff at that and say,

"Who shives a git? Lets go rescue ourselves a troll!"

Go team no chance!


	13. Feelings Are A Bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Please read A/N after this chapter. Or before if you want to be a rebel. x)

So, big news, we need allies and Simon half heartedly suggested the vampy people. He doubted they would play ball, but I think I can poke them into helping us. With the right motivation, anything is possible. And by motivation I mean me being really annoying at them until they give in out of sheer frustration. That is my main battle tactic and it has never failed me.

The Shadowpuppets all rallied around me, and we went off to meet with the vamps. I brought Boss fluffy and Simon along for authenticities sake.

"Hello Lieutenant sparkles." I say, grinning widely at Head cheese vamp Rapheal. He's surrounded by his vamp cronies. They're all glaring at us. I have the innate urge to hiss at them. The only reason I don't give in to that impulse is because I think Simon would disown me and the Shadowpuppets would get their pissy pants on about it. They're very sensitive.

" _Ever_." Blondie says warningly, like he can read my mind and knows what I want to do. Or he could be berating me for calling Raphael 'Lieutenant sparkles'. Either way, I don't care. I shush Blondie. He rolls his eyes in response, but obediently shuts up.

I turn back to Lieutenant sparkles and say,

"We want to offer you an alliance with the Trolls-"

"Seelies." Cap corrects with a not at all subtle cough. But I give him a metaphorical gold star for trying.

I look over at him and ask in confusion,

"What are you blathering on about now?"

Cap steps up beside me. He glares once at the vampires, probably out of some weird protective/silly notion of keeping me safe. Cap is so odd sometimes. He says to me,

"They're called Seelies. Not Trolls."

I wave a hand at him dismissively,

"Yeah, yeah...-Trolls, Elves, Faries, Gnomes, _whatever_. I don't have time for your political correctness needs right now Cap. There is serious shit going down. Isy-tron's Gnome boyfriend is in trouble."

Cap makes one of those 'how is this my life?' faces and sighs. He looks away from me and over at Blondie. Blondie is staring at me, his mouth a bit on the 'gapey' side. Simon just appears resigned. The man knows me too well to ever be truly surprised by anything that comes out of my face these days. Luke looks weary. But that's always how he looks, so I'm not too worried. Isy-tron is still tense, and I get why. She has a bigger stake in saving Meliorn than the rest of us.

"It isn't political correctness to call them Seelies..." Cap tells me in a much calmer tone than I expected. Prehaps he's getting used to me. I can't have that. I'll need to do or say something really weird to throw him off at some point to get us back on track. Cap trails off, but then continues after a few seconds pause, "...it's just... _correct_."

"And Gnomes are garden ornaments." Blondie pitches in, like he just can't help himself. He steps forward to stand at my other side.

"So?" I ask, narrowing my eyes at him.

Blondie frowns, his expression drawn in. He is not a happy Shadowranger.

" _So,_ garden ornaments are not Downworlders."

"Well that's a bit Gnomophobic of you, Blondie." I say, shaking my head at him in disappointment, "I am shocked that you would be so closed minded. Shocked and _appalled_. This is 2017, man. Times have'a changed. Gnomes are people too."

"No. No they aren't!" Blondie argues vehemently, eyes flashing with righteous anger he isn't sure where to direct, or why. " _Literally_. Gnomes are _not_ people, they're _Gnomes_. _"_

I pat Blondie on the arm, allowing him to sputter in deep set exasperation for a while.

"I think I broke your Shadowhusband." I say to Cap.

Cap's eyes flicker rapidly between Blondie and the mad girl he's chosen _cough_ been forced _cough_ to befriend. He sighs heavily in my direction again and says,

"For the one billionth time, Jace is not my Shadowhusband. That isn't even a thing."

I scowl, now even more confused.

"Then what do you call Shadowpuppet guys who get married?"

"Good sons." Cap mutters doggedly. I marvel at him for a short moment. Cap's cerulean eyes seem so much more vivid when he's feeling strong emotions about something. I've never met someone with such expressive eyes paired together with the ability to appear completely impassive in every other sense.

I'm about to ask Cap why he's upset, or at least pretending not to be upset, but I'm intercepted by Lieutenant sparkles who raises a polite hand, always so freakin _polite_ these assholes are, and he says,

"You do know that we're still here right? We **can** hear you."

Ok so maybe not so polite then.

I push away thoughts of sexy and soulful Captain dream boats and hot and exasperated Blondie's. I need to focus here. Isy-tron's pet Gnome is depending on us.

"Right. Sorry." I apologise to the vampy people. "As I was saying...we are offering an alliance with the Pixies...and..." I look expectantly at Luke. When he does nothing but stand there with his arms crossed whilst looking pensive, I reach out and poke him. Hard. He jumps a little bit and makes a sound of displeasure. But finally he speaks up.

"And we offer an alliance with the werewolves too." He sounds like he would rather have all his teeth pulled out, but that's not the main cause for concern here.

"Why should we believe you?" Lieutenant sparkles demands suspiciously, "You killed our people. You broke into our home."

I don't think sneaking into an abandoned hotel really counts as 'breaking in', but that's probably not a good argument to bring up right now.

"You kidnapped a mundane." Blondie reminds them. "We were within our rights to attempt a rescue."

Simon raises a hand and says,

"Speaking as the mundane who was kidnapped...fuck you all very much for that by the way...I don't think we should start an argument about who did what wrong in the past."

"Yeah, listen to ex-muggle." I say supportively. Simon does not look very enthused about my support. Fair enough.

"You know we were just following Camille's orders." Lieutenant sparkles argues with cool look at Simon.

"I do know that." I say diplomatically, "And that's why we're offering this alliance to you. To bridge the gap between us and move towards a better path for your people and ours." I give Lieutenant sparkles my best beseeching eyes, "Camille is gone. You're their leader now. For the sake of your people you need to at least consider what I'm saying. We can help each other in this, to stop Valentine and bring peace between Downwolders and Shadowhunters. But we can only accomplish that if we work together now, before it's too late and we all lose everything."

Lieutenant sparkles locks eyes with me and we stare at each other for an uncomfortable amount of time. Eventually, after it feels like an age has passed, he says,

"This decision requires consensus."

Simon takes a step forwards, planting himself firmly in front of Lieutenant sparkles. He says with a certain kind of determination,

"I vote yes."

"Well, well, baby's first words." Lieutenant sparkles mocks drolly.

"Don't make me regret this." Simon says, sounding more serious than I've ever heard him. I didn't even know he could be that serious. Figures he would have to die and become a member of the fang club first.

Lieutenant sparkles eyes Simon contemplatively. Tension is thick in the air between them. I have the sudden urge to dance. Why does this keep happening to me?

Finally he says,

"If our newest recruit pledges loyalty to his new leader and joins our clan, we'll stand beside you."

I lean sideways to look around Simon so that I can see Lieutenant sparkles properly.

"Sounds good." I say. "But you feel free to stand in front of us. Or behind us. You know, wherever you feel most comfortable."

"Ever!" Cap, Blondie, Isy-tron, Luke and Simon all yell at the same time.

I hold my hands up defensively,

"Ok, ok, don't have a bubble over it." I reach forward and poke Simon's shoulder, narrowing my eyes at Lieutenant sparkles warily. "Si isn't a toy. We can't just hand him over for you to play with." Or break.

"I accept your deal." Simon says, completely ruining my epic defense of his honour. God, best friends are a pain the ass these days. One of them almost gets poked to death by a Forsaken, and the other one gets turned into a vampy person. I just can't keep up with it all.

I whack Simon's arm. He turns to me, a grave look on his stupid pale face.

"You can't just join up with the fang club! You don't even like team sports." I say, poking him again a bit harder this time. I don't want Simon to do something this drastic for my sake, or for anyone else'. He's already had so much choice taken away from him.

"I'm doing what I have to do to protect the Downworld. It's my world now too, Ever." Simon explains. His expression is pained, but resolute. There's not much I can say to that, damn him.

"We're in." Lieutenant sparkles says.

Damn him too.

...

"Ow-fuck." I grit my teeth as Blondie draws another rune on my neck. It burns like a hot poker fresh from the fire.

"Hold still." Blondie demands, his grip tightening on my arm, helping to stay focused.

" _You_ hold still," I snap at him, "Hold still so I can kick your ass."

"I'd like to see you try, karate kid." Blondie replies snarkily.

I kick back with my foot and catch him on the knee. Blondie makes a hisses angrily and spins me around, pushing me up against the dirty brick wall behind us.

The Clavicle are keeping the Gnome somewhere in this abandoned warehouse. All we have to do is find him. It should be an in and out plan. Simple. Easy. I doubt it actually will be, but there's always hope.

Blondie glares down at me, his eyes bright the way they always are right before a fight. He boxes me in with arms, placing one on either side of my head. I glare right back at him, unwilling to back down even an inch. If Blondie wants trouble, then I'll give it to him tenfold. I will not be intimidated by a pretty boy Shadowpuppet.

"Do you have any idea how frustrating you are?" Blondie asks tensely, a real edge to his voice for the first time.

"Do you have any idea how much I don't care what you think about how frustrating I am?" I counter, locking my jaw to stop myself from saying something harsh and mean. In the heat of the moment I can get quite nasty sometimes. I try to keep a check on it, but Blondie brings out the worst in me.

Blondie's energy is so different to Cap's. The two of them might as well be night and day. One cool and aloof, hiding himself away from the world, the other hot headed and reckless, throwing himself into danger without a second thought. They both confuse me, but for entirely different reasons.

"All I've ever tried to do is help you." Blondie's voice is low, bordering on desperate. Maybe wanting me to understand. But I don't and I don't want to either. I can't handle this from him right now. I don't have the time or the energy to work out what he wants from me. I mean, the physical side is easy. The emotional on the other hand is more complicated, and it always would be with someone like Blondie.

"I don't need your help." I growl back at him. "I keep telling you that. I don't need your protection. I don't need your understanding. And I especially do not need you to keep _looking at me_ like...like..."

"Like _what_?" Blondie leans in closer, his breathe hot on my face. My skin tingles quite against my will. "How do I look at you?" He asks heatedly.

I finally give into frustration,

"Like you _want_ me."

Blondie's changeable eyes widen, a spark of undeniable desire explodes inside them. Heat races through my body when Blondie says, low and strained with pure lust,

"I _do_."

Then he kisses me. Finally he kisses me. After all the half pointed stares and the lightning inspiring touches, he kisses me. His lips crash down over mine, pressing me into the wall, his body coming to stand flush with mine. His hands aren't touching me, they're still planted firmly on the wall on either side of my head. Part of me wants him to run his hands over my hips, my ass, my chest, to feel the want in his every movement.

Another part of me is already lost to the sensation of being kissed by this pain in the ass of a guy.

His mouth is hot, lips slightly chaped, but thick and hungry against my own. I let him kiss me for a while, not wanting to ruin the moment by kissing back just yet. His stubble scratches my skin and a shudder travels up and down my nerve endings, dancing pleasure across my face.

It feels incredible to be kissed this thoroughly, with so much desperate want fuelling the kiss itself. Blondie makes a sound deep in his throat that could be a moan, probably of relief. Holding onto all that sexual tension must have been driving him a bit crazy. That explains why he's kissing me so wantonly.

This is definitely the best kiss I've ever experienced in terms of skill and undaunted sexual heat. But there's something about it that puts me on edge, and I'm not sure what that thing is.

I suddenly get the sense that someone is watching us, and I know there's only one person who that could be when he makes a half strangled sound of surprise. Fuck.

I bring my hands up and place them on Blondie's chest. Then I shove him away with all the strength I can possibly muster. Blondie goes flying backwards and away from me. I feel flushed from the kiss, my face hot, my chest rising and falling rapidly as I try to draw in enough breath to breathe properly.

Blondie has turned away from me, hands running through his hair, most likely to keep himself from touching me. I ignore that and turn my head to face the person I know just caught me kissing Blondie.

Cap is staring at me, mouth slightly open. It's not quite a gape, but give it a couple of inches and it would be. He levels a look of betrayal at me that makes me want to throw up. I hate that Cap is looking at me with such distrust again, maybe even more so than ever before. Guilt stabs me painfully in the gut when Cap's cool blue eyes turn ice cold. Even more so than usual. His gaze flickers between me and Blondie, but he doesn't seem to be really seeing us anymore.

I can still see the hurt hidden behind the crystallised neutrality. I knew this would happen if anything went down between me and Blondie. That's another reason why I deemed it unworthy the trouble to even try. I never wanted to hurt Cap. He's become so important to me, despite the fact that we haven't known each other very long. I feel connected to him in a way I can't explain, but it's there, real and tangible. I wouldn't risk fucking that up, not for anything.

Apparently I've already fucked up everything though, and I can't take it back. Cap won't even want to be near me after this, I just know it.

I make a move towards Cap, but he holds up a hand. I halt immediately. My heart throbs a little at the dismissive way he diverts his attention towards Blondie instead of me.

"We need to get moving." Cap says, his voice is one of bored derision, with an edge of bite to it that was never there before. I feel awful to think that I put it there.

Blondie sense something, if not everything going on between me and Cap. Well, he must do, they are Para..bubble..tai thingies. I assume that comes with some kind of inset mood ring detector.

"Right, lets go." Blondie says apparently willing to go along with Cap's business-like reaction.

I don't want to go anywhere. I want to tell Cap I'm sorry, even though I'm not sure exactly what I'm supposed to be sorry about. I just know I feel sorry deep down in my bones.

But of course, this whole thing isn't about me. We have a mission to complete that is far more important. With that in mind, I swallow hard and roll my shoulders back. There will be time for explanation later, right now we have more dangerous and stupid things to be getting on with.

Blondie takes his place by the corner, making sure the coast is relatively clear.

Cap, with extreme apprehension, moves up beside my next to the wall. He still won't look directly at me. He does, however, reach inside his leather jacket and take out the COD tarot card. He holds it out to me whilst still keeping his eyes averted. I think about waiting him out, forcing the idiot to _look at me_ damn it, but that seems cruel and immature. I take the tarot card from him and hide in my messenger bag.

"Thank you." I says simply, but I try to load the two words with as much meaning as possible. He must have taken it from right under his parent's nose. They'd probably be majorly pissed if they found out. It must have been a great risk to take the tarot card like that. I wish I could tell him how much I appreciate it, but I don't think Cap wants to hear what I have to say about much of anything.

I want to get indignant. Cap has no right to be upset about me and Blondie kissing, not really. I can't seem to make myself think that though. There's obviously a problem, and I made it worse, so that's on me, whether I meant it that way or not.

Cap doesn't respond to my thanks, but then, I didn't expect him to.

Blondie turns back to us and signals for me and Cap to take a look. I push away my confusing emotions, and peek around the corner. Thanks to my new rune, I can see the infamous sex Gnome being frog marched by Stone-face and co.

"Whatever happens," Blondie says to me, "stay near me and Alec. We follow the plan and don't deviate."

"Got it." I say agreeably, unwilling to argue at this point.

Blondie looks at Cap then, and the two of them lock eyes. I almost suck in a breathe at the violent intensity that suddenly flares up between them. I can't quite tell if it's because of the fight we're about to be part of, or if they're reacting to what happened before. Either way it doesn't really matter.

"Ready?" Blondie asks Cap.

Cap's expression alters ever so slightly, and there's a new edge of challenge in his voice when he replies,

"Always."

I'm getting a bad feeling about this already.

At first, all the werewolves surround the sex Gnome and the enemy Shadowpuppets. Their bright green eyes glowing in the darkness ominously.

The enemy Shadowpuppets split up to spread out over the perimeter. Stone-face takes the sex Gnome away, leading him off, probably to be brought inside.

Isy-tron and the vamps take out the remaining Shadowpuppets that are helping Stone-face guard the sex Gnome. Stone-face is alone with the sex Gnome now, just as we planned it.

Stone-face disappears with the sex Gnome through a door. Me, Blondie and Cap follow after him. Once Stone-face has revealed the door to the city of bones, I make myself known.

"Halt!" I shout. I'm not sure where 'halt' came from, but there you go. Let's be honest 'stop' was getting a bit old. I think 'halt' deserves a come back.

Stone-face turns to look at me, and whilst she's distracted, Blondie and Cap block the entrance to the city of bones, standing side by side like the warriors they are.

"What do you think you're doing?" Stone-face demands of Cap and Blondie.

I race around her to stand in front of them. I plead with her,

"Come on, you need to stop this. We can't destroy everything we've built between us and the Downworlders by torturing them for information, especially information they probably don't even have. Please let the sex Gnome go."

I hear a two groans from behind me, but screw them, I'm busy.

Stone-face arches a perfectly manicured eyebrow at me.

"Sex Gnome?" She asks slowly.

Yes, what is there not to understand about that?

I gesture at Meliorn and say,

"Yes, the sex Gnome. For sake, you Shadowpuppets really need to clean out your ear holes more. I keep having to repeat myself all the time."

Meliron merely looks amused by this and says, looking me up and down,

"I think I like you."

I wink at him and mock salute,

"Good. It's always been a dream of mine to get the approval of a sex Gnome. I may die happy now." Not even a lie, I think I've literally had this dream before.

"You do not have the authority to make decisions about things like this. None of you do." Stone-face says coolly, "The Clave has given me my orders and I will follow them. So should all of you." Her eyes linger on Cap longer than the rest of us.

Oh, trust Cap to have bonded with Stone-face.

"Fuck orders." I snap, waving a hand cuttingly. "There are times when we need to follow the rules, and times when we need to make decisions for ourselves. We can't just blindly go around doing whatever we're told. That's one of the reasons why Valentine became so powerful in the first place."

"You wouldn't understand." Stone-face says to me with conviction. "Ever, you weren't raised as a Shadowhunter, you can't possibly know what it means to fight as one."

"You're wrong, Lydia." Cap says, with more passion than I thought him capable of at the moment. I sideways so that I can keep an eye on both Stone-face and my two boys in black leather.

Cap seems absolutely sure of himself, in a way I've never been, or seen anyone our age look.

"We have to work together to defeat Valentine, Lydia." Cap says to Stone-face. "We can't allow ourselves to be divided out of desperation or ignorance."

Go Cap! I may need to take him on as my campaign manager when I take over the world.

Stone-face does not appear moved, although there is a flicker of something in her eyes that gives me hope. For about two and a half seconds.

But then Stone-face is pushing me aside and forcing the sex Gnome forward. I admire her courage to continue on with her mission despite the solid wall that is Cap and Blondie looming before her.

Blondie takes Stone-face down with ease. I reach out for the sex Gnome and pull him towards me.

"Ever, take Meliorn now!" Cap shouts at me, and goes to help Blondie deal with Stone-face.

With one last look at the two assholes who have confused the fuck out of me since we met, I release a held in breathe and run away from them with the sex Gnome to relative safety.

...

"If you are ready, Everlyna, then I can help you find your father." The sex Gnome says, and I feel like there should be a audible 'dun dun dun' moment.

We dropped Simon off at Fang club headquarters after Cap and Blondie knocked out Stone-face and left her for the other Shadowpuppets to find. Now apparently the sex Gnome is offering his help in return for us saving his ass from the voodoo doll Coraline rejects.

"How can you help me find Valendouche? If you have an evil Dad tracker, then that would be epically useful." I say dryly.

Isy-tron, Cap and Blondie are all gathered in a circle around me and the sex Gnome.

"I don't have a tracker." The sex Gnome says, a small smirk playing about his lips, "But you do."

Gnome with face paint say what?

" _What_?" Is echoed by my Shadowpuppet companions.

"Wanna explain that one, Mr Sex Gnome sir?" I ask, curious despite myself.

The sex Gnome's smile becomes openly smug, but I let that go. Isy-tron warned me that the Fae folk are smug about almost everything. I'd probably be smug too if I had a leaf painted on my face.

"I hear that you have psychic powers, yes? That's how you found the cup." The sex Gnome asks, raising a questioning eyebrow.

"Yeah, I guess...how do you know about that?" I eye him with suspicion.

The sex Gnome ignores my question and continues,

"A Shadowhunter with genuine psychic abilities is very rare. I know a ritual that could lead you straight to your father. The ritual would include your blood, that portal shard around your neck, symbols known only by my kind, and our conjoined psychic powers."

"I've never heard of a ritual like that." Blondie says narrowly.

"It isn't a secret we share easily with non-Seelies." The sex Gnome imparts caustically. "Technically it is against the law, our laws, to preform the ritual with an outsider. But I owe Ever a debt, and I will pay it."

I can hardly believe that finding my father could be so easy. Or at least the sex Gnome is making it sound easy. I imagine there could be some dire consequences if something went wrong, or if we were caught. Maybe not so easy then.

"Are you sure?" I ask the sex Gnome.

"If you are willing to take the risk then so am I, Everlyna." The sex Gnome replies graciously, bowing his head just a bit.

"What do you guys think?" I ask my pet Shadowpuppets.

Cap is still very obviously refusing to look at me, which is upsetting. But he does say honestly,

"It's your choice, Ever. We'll stand with you, whatever you decide."

He doesn't look happy about it, but I can tell he would fight alongside me anyway.

"Alec is right, Ever." Blondie says with easy assurance. "We'll back you up if you want to try it."

I turn to Isy-tron at last. If anyone would know whether to trust the sex Gnome then it'd be her. Isy-tron touches my shoulder with hand, and with the other hand she touches her pretty Troll boyfriend.

"I trust Meliorn." Isy-tron says to me. "He will do what he can to help you."

Well goodie then.

I look the sex Gnome in the eye and say,

"Lets go psychic ourselves up an evil Dad."

...

The sex Gnome leads us all out into the middle of some woodland. We're surrounded by trees and plants and what feels almost like magic. Hell, maybe it is. I've officially stopped being surprised by shit. It's a lot easier that way to deal with things.

We're in a clearing, the sun shining directly above us, filling the circular clearing with light. Meliorn is busy using what looks like a gemstone knife to carve symbols into the five trees blocking us in.

Cap and Blondie are scouting the area somewhere just beyond the clearing, making sure it's safe, or as safe as it cane be, to preform the ritual. They don't appear to be talking to each other, but that could just be because there's nothing really to say. Guys are like that sometimes. Except Simon, he's always got something to say, mutter sarcastically, or shout. I've always kinda loved that about him. Never a dull moment.

Isy-tron and I are standing in the middle of the clearing, idly waiting for the sex Gnome to tell us what to do next. Or for Blondie and Cap to come back.

"So, what's up with you and my brother?" Isy-tron nudges my side, whispering conspiracally.

I startle a little, and then desperately try to think of a lie that will fit.

"Ah, well, you know...Cap is...just...he's probably just had enough of me bugging him all the time." I say, and even as I say the words I know they sound weak.

Isy-tron arches an eyebrow at me in a very 'cut the bullshit' way.

"Alec is always annoyed at you for bugging him. He doesn't actively ignore you though. He can't even look you in the eye, and I've seen him try to. I know my brother. Alec's upset about something and I want to know what it is. What did you do to him?"

I'm not sure what to tell her. In all honesty I don't actually know exactly why Cap is upset. I mean, I know it's because of The Kiss, but I don't technically know why The Kiss clearly bothered Cap so much. Instead of answering Isy-tron's question, I counter her with a question of my own,

"Does Cap have a thing for Blondie?"

The question has been rolling around inside my head for a while now, but I've never felt the inclination to actually as it before. I guess I didn't think it mattered. Not really. There was nothing I could do about it if it's true.

Apart from stay the hell away from Blondie of course, which had been the original plan.

New besties don't kiss their new best friend's unrequited lover. Those are the rules. Now though, I've broken the rules and potentially ruined everything. Which sucks. Hard. Especially since I didn't even mean to do it.

Isy-tron doesn't appear surprised by my question, but she does eye me thoughtfully before answering,

"Honestly? I don't know anymore. Alec loves Jace, and he always has. But he's been acting very strange lately. I keep thinking I know why, but if it's what I think it is then...well, apparently my brother is a more complicated person than I thought."

"Cap isn't like anyone I've ever known in my life." I say, because it's the truth. Cap is a whole new species of weird to me.

"He cares about you." Isy-tron tells me, with no small amount of reluctance, as if she's revealing a secret I shouldn't be allowed to know.

"I care about him too." I say, which again, is the truth. I bite my lip, forcing out more words that I probably shouldn't let escape. "There's something about him that draws me in. Has done since we met."

Isy-tron smiles, and I can't tell if it's a sad smile or a real one.

"What about Jace?" Isy-tron asks.

Oh flip, straight for the kill shot.

"Who the hell is Jace?" I ask, trying to play it off.

But Isy-tron is not having it today.

"Ever, come _on_."

"Fine." I huff, tightening my hands into fists at my side. "He kissed me." I admit.

Isy-tron's eyes blow wide.

"Seriously? When?" She asks.

"Today."

"No way!"

"And Cap saw."

"Oh shit!"

"Yeah, I know."

"So that's why Jace and Alec are both being weird." Isy-tron says, but I think she's speaking more to herself than to me.

"Maybe." I mumble, not exactly ecstatic about any of it.

"Did you like it?" Isy-tron asks, smirking suggestively at me.

I frown, confused yet again.

"Like what?"

Isy-tron rolls her eyes at me,

"The kiss, you dummy. I swear to the Angel you're as bad as Alec."

Oh, the kiss. Kissing Blondie. Right.

"I liked it." I say cautiously.

"But?" Isy-tron trills, leaning in a bit closer to me.

"But what?" I ask, honestly bewildered.

"Well, you don't sound that thrilled about it." Isy-tron comments without judgement.

"I would be more thrilled if Cap hadn't seen us, yeah." I really do not know how to feel about Blondie at the moment. Our kiss confused an already high strung situation.

"You know, you're very difficult to read." Isy-tron says to me. She tilts her head to the side and regards me critically. "Not in a bad way. Every time I see you, I change my mind about who you are and what you seem to want."

"I _want_ to find my sister and mother." I say sternly, "I _want_ to stop Valentine. I _want_ to help Simon deal with being a vampire. Anything beyond that can't be important to me right now. I need to focus on what matters."

"And what, Alec and Jace don't _matter_ to you?" Isy-tron says with a trace of scorn.

"Of course they matter!" I say, and it's almost a shout.

"Then what's really the problem here?" Isy-tron flips her hand over and back. "You're attracted to Jace. But you feel something towards my broth-"

Isy-tron is interrupted, thank fuck, by Meliorn.

"If you're ready, we can begin the ritual." The sex Gnome says, waving a hand out towards the space in front of him.

Isy-tron goes to collect Cap and Blondie with one last meaningful stare at me. I do my best to ignore it, and the insistent knawing in my stomach.

Meliorn offers a hand to me and move over to him and take it. He leads me to stand right in the centre of the clearing. I can feel the sun beating down on my head. I should have brought sunscreen to the rescue mission. You never know when you might need it. I'll have to remember that one for our next Gnome rescue. Or our next illegal ritual.

Isy-tron, Cap and Blondie gather around us, keeping a safe distance, but still close enough to intervene if they have to.

Merliron tells me to hold my hands up flat, palms facing the sky. I do as he asks, watching his face for any indications that he might be about to double cross me. Isy-tron may trust him, but I'm not really ready to trust anyone just yet. Not until I have my sister and mother back unharmed.

"Good. Now I'm going to cut your left palm with my blade. We need it for the ritual to work. Since you are Valentine's biological daughter." Meliorn says.

It makes sense. Sort of. At least it does enough for me to allow Meliorn to cut my hand with his sharp as fuck knife. It stings, but apart from that I barely feel it. Out of corner of my eye I see Blondie flinch as the blade slices my skin, and Cap even takes a small step forward, as if to intervene. Isy-tron splays a hand out to stop him though. Cap grits his teeth and stays back.

Meliron cuts open his own palm, but on the opposite hand. He balances his blade on my palms. Meliorn takes off my portal shard necklace and wraps it around the bloodied knife. Then he places his hands on top of mine, the blade creating space between us, preventing his hand from completely covering mine.

"I need you to tap into your inner minds eye, Everlyna." Meliorn tells me. He watches me intently.

"How exactly do I do that?" I ask, "I'm kinda new to this whole magic psychic thing."

Meliorn actually smiles at that, which is more than a bit unnerving.

"Repeat these words after me. You should feel something inside your mind unfurl. I ask that you trust that feeling. Trust yourself. Your third eye cannot harm you unless you allow it."

Yeah, that's still very unhelpful to me.

"Ok, sure, I'll just...do...that." I mumble, pulling out my fake smile. This is gonna be great. Or a total disaster. It could really go either way. Most likely the latter, given the situation, but screw it, I might as well embrace my teenagedom and do something stupid just cus.

Merliorn clears his throat and intones in a weirdly more musical sounding voice, which I assume must be a Gnome thing,

" _Aperientur portae tuae. Orbis propinquus_."

A symbol carved into one of the five trees suddenly shines like it's being lit up from the inside.

The sex Gnome repeats the chant four more times, and with each repetition a symbol lights up on all five trees.

I take a deep breath and copy Meliorn's words as best I can,

" **Aperientur portae tuae. Orbis propinquus.** "

As soon as the words trip off my tongue, I gasp as a hot burning sensation explodes inside my head. I wonder for a moment if my brain has been set on fire. But the heat dulls to a faint throb. I can hear the flames whispering to me, coaxing me down a strange and unfamiliar path. I pull back at first, fear of the unknown kicking my instincts into gear. But then I remember what Meliorn told me.

 _Trust yourself_. _Trust that feeling_.

I grit my teeth and immerse myself in the flames, chasing the path of shadows through my mind. It hurts, oh God it hurts, but I keep pushing forward. I don't realise I've closed my eyes until I open them again with another loud gasp.

The portal shard is glowing bright purple, and the blood on both edges of the knife is sizzling like grease from a frying pan. All the carved symbols are shining even brighter, and have turned from a white light to purple instead. Walls of purple have risen to fill the gaps between the five trees.

I catch Meliorn's gaze and he removes his hands from mine, taking the blade and the portal shard away as well.

"Go, Everlyna Fairchild." Meliorn says intently, walk through any portal and you will find your father on the other side.

Cap, Blondie and Isy-tron take that as their cue to move towards me seemingly as one.

"We have to go, now." Blondie says to me with a sense of urgency.

I nod frantically, eyes swivelling from one portal to another. Any one of them will take me to my father. And possibly my mother and sister.

I stumble backwards and throw myself at the nearest portal.

There's a brief flash of light, and for a moment it feels like my body is being turned inside out. It's all very Harry Potter's first apparation experience.

The portal spits me out and I land hard on an equally hard surface. I take a moment to breathe, and then gets up, attempting to hold myself up using unsteady legs. It only takes one glance to realise that I'm in some kind of abandoned building.

Seriously, I'm starting to think the only thing Shadowpuppets and Downerwaffles have in common are their deep love for setting up lairs in abandoned buildings. Maybe they all hire the same realtor or something.

I jump about six feet in the air when the portal opens again and another body falls through, hitting the ground even harder than I did.

"Cap!" I exclaim in surprise, although I'm not sure why I'm surprised. I figured the others would follow right after me.

I kneel down besides him, making sure that he's unharmed. Cap groans, possibly in pain, and looks over at me. We lock eyes for the first time since The Kiss, which I realise wasn't that long ago, but it feels like it's been days instead of merely hours.

I can't speak for a moment, and it seems like Cap is unable to find words either. So we stare at each other. And then we stare some more. And some more. I begin to feel a bit Twilight-ish, which is as terrible as it sounds. But it's also kind of not terrible because Cap is actually acknowledging my existence again.

I finally find my voice and ask Cap,

"Are you alright?"

Probably the most normal thing I've said to him since we met. But Cap look at me like I've just grown another head.

"Am **_I_ ** alright?" Cap says incredulously, "Are **_you_** alright I think you mean?"

"Well...yes, that's exactly what I said; _are you alright_?" I tease, and despite everything, Cap's lips quirk into that almost smile of his.

"Oh don't start." Cap admonishes. He gets up on his knees and then we help each other stand. It feels strange to lean my weight on Cap, and I'm yet again shocked by how easy and natural it feels to be so close to him. To trust him.

Our hands accidentally brush, and I feel...God, I don't know how to describe it with words. It isn't the same spark of heat I feel when Blondie touches me. It's...different. But still powerful. Still a scorching sensation, just not of heat. The only two things I can compare it to is like when you're touching ice and after a while your skin starts to burn and sting in reaction to the contact. Or like when it's so cold outside that your hands hurt, then you go inside and warmth seeps back in, causing your hands to prickle and throb in that strange way.

Whatever the feeling actually is, it ignites something inside me that I have no idea how to deal with.

So instead of dealing with it at all, I pull away from him. Luckily Cap appears just as eager to put distance between us. I tell myself that I'm glad about that instead of disappointed. This is so not the time to be worrying about shit like that.

"Where are Isy-tron and Blondie?" I ask Cap, mostly to distract us both, but also because I'm worried for them. If they followed after Cap then they should be here by now.

Cap scans the mostly grey stone corridor we've landed in and says,

"They probably just went through a closer portal."

"But the sex Gnome said all portals would lead to my father, so they must come to same place." I reply, making my own appraisal of our meagre surroundings.

There's not much to see. We're in a corridor that looks like an abandoned prison. There are barred doors on either side of the corridor, spanning across both walls.

Cap is looking at me again, but this time I'm the one who avoids his gaze.

"I'm not even going to ask about the sex Gnome part." Cap says almost tiredly. "But if Isy and Jace took another portal then they're probably just somewhere else close by. Valentine might have been moving around all over this building."

Good point. Well made.

I clap my hands together and say,

"Alright, then we should probably start looking for them."

Cap nods in agreement and we begin walking together, side by side. We both take out our weapons, just in case we get attacked, or if Valentine suddenly pops up.

We appear to be lost in a maze of cells, with no idea of the layout, which is not the most comforting thought.

After what feels like ages, although it probably only feels like that because of how tense Cap and I both are. I honestly don't know if we're tense because of the situation we're currently in, or if it's for another reasons entirely. I kind of hope it's the former, because the latter is too ridiculous and neither of us want to talk about it.

Cap proves me wrong on that score. He turns his head to look at me, but not with his complete focus, since we'd both be idiots to not pay attention to what's actually going on around us. We are in the enemy camp. That is not the time to daydream. But apparently it is the time to bring up a difficult topic.

"You kissed Jace."

Fucking hell, straight in there.

"Jace kissed me." I say, like that makes fuck all difference to anything whatsoever.

Another long, tense filled, pause. And then,

"I thought you and Simon were..." He trails off, but his intent is obvious.

I can't stop my head from snapping around to the side so that I can look up at him.

"Woah, woah...me and Si? No way! Simon is, like, totally in wuv with my twin sister."

Cap makes a noise of disbelief and says with a definite sarcastic undertone,

"Right. Ok."

Would it compromise our position if I kicked him?

"What's that supposed to mean?" I demand, narrowing my eyes at Cap.

Cap turns on me so fast that I almost lose my balance due to the unexpected movement.

"It doesn't _mean_ anything."

I stop walking and poke Cap hard on the chest, staring straight up at him unflinchingly,

"Well clearly it does. You've got an problem, and I doubt your problem has anything to do with Simon. Why are you pissed at me?"

Cap just stares at me for a long ass moment before replying grittily,

"I'm not pissed at you."

"Ok, seriously, I get if you don't want to talk about it." I say, unspoken rage and destruction building between us, fit to burst at any second, "But don't lie to me. If you don't wanna tell me something then say so. Do _not_ lie to me. _Never_ lie to me."

I can handle most things, and forgive even more, but being lied to is my limit. I won't put up with it, not from Cap or anybody else.

I turn on my heel and start to walk away from Cap. Before I can get even a few steps forwards, Cap wraps a hand around my arm and yanks me backwards. He spins me around to face him again, his grip on my arm tight, but not painful. Not forceful. Just enough to let me know he's serious.

Cap's blue eyes blaze with emotion, and it almost takes my breathe away to see it so openly displayed on his face. He pulls me even closer. I expect him to shout, the anger emanating off of him is palpable. But when Cap speaks his voice is strained and gravely, more of a growl really.

"You think I _want_ to feel like this? Do you think I _chose_ this? If you do then you're _wrong._ So _fucking_ wrong."

I don't understand, and yet I do, and the two conflicting thoughts and emotions make everything so much worse.

"Stop it! Stop acting like I forced you to be here! I didn't choose this either. I don't even know what the fuck _this_ is!" I try not to yell, but I'm not sure if I actually succeed.

Cap shakes me a little. He practically vibrates with frustration. I hate that he's upset, but I don't know what's going on anymore, or how to fix it.

"I thought I knew who I was." Cap tells me. "I was resigned to it. But since we met all I can do is worry about _you_. Think about _you_. Argue with _you_. Care about **_you_**. It isn't supposed to be like this." Cap releases a breathe that could be a strangled shout. "Jace is supposed to be the one who-" Cap breaks off, unable to finish the thought.

I open to say something, _anything_ , that will make this better, but before I can utter a single word, I hear the sound of someone calling out from a cell only a few doors down.

That successfully snaps both me and Cap out of it. There are other things happening here. Arguably far more important things.

Cap lets go of my arm and we give each other a knowing look that means 'move forward with caution'. It's only when the voice shouts again that I recognise it. I'm running before I can even full register what I'm thinking. Cap tries to stop me but I'm too fast. He does race after me though.

I come skidding to a stop outside a wooden door without a window. I look back at Cap and say,

"We need this door open."

I would kick it open myself, but I'm not freakin' Supergirl.

Cap takes the hint though and kicks the door in. It flies off it's hinges with a dramatic crash. I move around Cap and take a step inside.

On the far side of the room, hands chained tied together and chained to the wall, is a girl. She's a bit dirty and very freaked out, but seems unharmed for the most part.

The girl looks up at me, fear in her eyes, but there's relief in them too.

" _Ever_!" She exclaims elatedly.

I choke out,

" _Clary!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N-For two things, one, yes, I cut out the episode where they go to the alternate universe thingy. Sorry to anyone who liked that episode, but it just didn't fit in with my story so I had to cut it. I hope you still liked the this chapter though. Two, I'm just gonna go ahead and say this now, I've decided to Magnus-afy all of my characters. Lets just say everyone is bi and leave it there. And I don't just mean because of Alec, I promise. I really want to be able to pair people off without having to worry about a significant thing like gender. So, please, if that bothers you, then be warned. Nothing is certain, and everything could change depending on where I thinkt the story is going. If you don't like it, then don't read it. Simple as.  
> Thank you to everyone for reading! xxx


	14. Hot Dads And Ice Wands

I practically skid over to Clary. My knees scrape the stone floor when I drop down in front of her. Clary's eyes are wide as she stares at me. I think I see a mixture of relief and wariness in them. She looks terrible, although that's probably just all the dirt. I scan her quickly, cataloguing any injuries. Clary doesn't appear harmed though, not in the physical sense that is. I can't even imagine what she's been through down here.

"Ever, what's going on? How are you here? Is it really you?" Clary fires off questions, seeming to come alive right in front of me. Good to know her spirit isn't broken.

I start fiddling with her binds and answer,

"We're rescuing you of course. A sex Gnome helped me do an illegal ritual thingy. And yes it's me, your devastatingly epic sister. Who else would it be? The freakin' Halloween hedgehog?"

Easter gets a bunny, Christmas gets a fat man, why shouldn't Halloween gets something too?

Clary scoffs and rolls her eyes at me,

"Oh yeah, it's definitely you. No one else in the world speaks fluent weirdo the way you do."

That's really nice isn't it? I come all this way to rescue her, taking up a perilous journey through blistering cold and scorching desert, traveling for many days and nights, risking life and limb to reach the dragon's keep-no wait hold on, that's not quite right. Forget the fact that I didn't actually travel through deserts and all that shit. My point still stands.

And yes, I have indeed lost my train of thought. Thank you very much for mentioning it. Assholes.

I flick my sister on the nose and say,

"You know you're supposed to be nice to the handsome prince who rescues you. Have Disney movies taught you _nothing_?"

"You're my sister, not a handsome prince." Clary points out annoyingly.

I turn a little to jerk my chin towards Cap. He appears to be dividing his time between staring in disbelief at me and Clary, and keeping watch for us just in case Valendouche shows up all evil and blah. Like with his super epic blahness on full display and such forth.

I say to Clary,

"Yeah, well, my new bestie is handsome enough. Not a prince mind you, but close enough. He can pull off a haughty sniff like a Boss."

Clary's expression immediately closes off. She eyes Cap suspiciously. He eyes her suspiciously right back. I almost laugh out loud at both of them, but think better of it when I imagine the death glares I would undoubtedly receive if I did so. I know when I'm outnumbered by pissy pants types like my sister and Captain dream boat. They'll probably end up bonding over their shared annoyance in regards to my continued existence in their boring lives. I might even need to duel Clary for Cap's hand in best friendom. Which would really suck as I'm already taking on Blondie.

"Who is he?" Clary asks me, whilst keeping her eyes firmly fixed on Cap.

I raise an eyebrow at my sister. She sounds wary, and I suppose that makes sense. The last time she saw Cap, he was killing stuff in a club. She has no reason to trust Cap or his motivations.

"He's a Shadowpuppet." I tell Clary. "All the other Shadowpuppets call him Alec, but his true name is Captain dream boat. If you want to really get off on the wrong foot then you can call him senior grumpy pants."

Clary doesn't look at all reassured by this knowledge of her new enemy. She appears to thinking about how to respond to my obvious genius.

Clary eventually settles on.

"I think you mean Shadow _hunter_."

I scowl at her,

"I know what I mean! God, you sound like Google." Before Clary can respond I growl in frustration at the binds that are keeping my sister trapped in this room. What are these chains made of? Metal? Who has metal chains anymore? Crazy dungeon people that's who. Clearly there is only one course of action that makes any logical sense in this situation.

I start gnawing on the chains.

As always, Clary makes a fuss about nothing.

"Gross, Ever, stop! You're getting spit on me!" Clary kicks out at me with her massive duck feet. I know we're technically twins, but trust me, Clary's feet are way more duckish than mine. Truth.

I narrowly escape her random and wholly uncalled for acts of physical violence, only barely escaping the wraith of Clary with my life still intact. I shake Clary's chains pointedly and say,

"Quit your whinging, Clare. We shared bodily _everything_ for nine solid months inside the womb. Deal with my spit you big baby. Woman up for fucks sake."

I lick her hand on purpose for good measure.

"Ev- ** _ver_**!" Clary complains loudly, giving me the mother of all death glares.

I ignore my sister's anger and turn to look at Cap. He's giving me the father of all glares. They should really get together and start a club. Or maybe they could enter a glaring contest. We are in America, there's bound to be such a thing somewhere in this God forsaken land of never ending nonsense and tomfoolery.

"Hey, Cap, give me your ice wand." I say, holding my hand out and making a 'gimmie gimmie' gesture.

"Ice wand?" Cap asks, sounding genuinely bewildered. It's just a little bit sweet.

"Yeah, you know, the wand of epic burnatude." I explain.

Cap seems to understand that description, although I'm not totally sure how. He takes out his ice wand and brings it over to me and Clary.

"It isn't a wand." Cap says dryly when he kneels down beside me.

I roll my eyes and wave my hand dismissively in is direction.

"Yeah yeah, and you're no handsome prince, and Clary isn't in a tower, and we have no noble steed, and I don't even know what fairy tale character I'm supposed to be portraying right now. Just go with it. Why you gotta be so literal all the time?"

Cap frowns even harder than before. It is _adorable_.

"I assume by 'literal' you mean calling things by what they actually are named and not just making something up on the spot."

I shake my head at Cap slowly and snatch the ice wand out of his hand.

"You really do just have to suck the fun out of everything. You're being a very pissy cactus today."

Cap's eyes narrow, the dark ocean blue of his iris' shine brighter in the darkness of this prison cell. He looks miffed. Good. Then my work here is already half done.

"At least I have the ability to take things seriously." Cap says. Yep, he's definitely miffed.

I whack Cap on the head with his ice wand and counter,

"I can take things seriously. I simply choose not to. Don't be dissing my lifestyle choices, Cap. There are laws against that you know, and I really don't like sending my friends to jail. I mean I will do it, but I'd rather not have to."

Cap just stares at me for a long time.

"You're insane." He says finally. "Certifiably. Insane."

I poke him on the nose.

"Yeah, but ask yourself this. Whose more insane, the insane person, or the person who actually chooses to _befriend_ the insane person? Eh? Eh?"

Cap grabs hold of my arm, his fingers easily wrapping around my wrist. His thumb brushes my pressure point, causing me to suck in a harsh breathe. Very inappropriate given the current situation, I know, but I can't help it. Cap keeps his eyes firmly locked with mine as he forcibly moves my hand away from his face, presumably to stop any more random, and well deserved, poke attacks. He doesn't let go of my wrist, and I don't pull away. I honestly couldn't explain why using actual words. There aren't any that exist yet that would sound right.

"Um, hello." Clary's voice cuts through the tension between me and Cap like a confused spoon. "Yeah, hi, I'm the girl who is still chained up over here."

Cap and I break eye contact with no small amount of reluctance.

I use the ice wand to break Clary free of her binds, whilst Cap gets up and goes back to the door, probably to make sure the corridor is still clear.

Clary rubs at her abused wrists once she's free, and I help her stand. Altogether Clary seems to be steady enough on her feet for us to move out immediately. I ain't in the mood to deal with no circle mofos. Those bitches can go sit in the fucking corner.

I gently touch Clary's arm and ask,

"Do you feel ok? Hurt? Enraged with the insatiable need to kill and destroy?"

Clary leans away from me and stares all bush baby eyed. She says very slowly, drawing the words out,

"Ever, I love you. I really do. But if you say one more weird thing, I _will_ kill you."

Enraged with the insatiable need to kill and destroy it is then. Good. That was what I was hoping for. I don't know what I would have done if Clary was a sobbing blubbery mess. Anger is something I can work with. I'm no good with crying people. I usually end up stroking their faces or back with a broom from five feet away whilst throwing smarties at them.

"You're so violent and pernickety. But mostly just pernickety." I say to Clary. "The prison life has changed you, sister of mine."

"And you're still annoying. What a surprise that none of this crap has changed you at all." Clary fires back with an exaggerated huff.

Cap throws a worried frown our way and says to me,

"We need to find Isy and Jace, and then get the hell out of here to call for back up. This whole place could be a trap set by Valentine."

I nod in agreement.

"Alright, lets shake our groove thang Cap."

I grab hold of Clary's hand and basically drag her from the room, bumping Cap out of the way. God he's too damn tall. Everyone is too damn tall these days. As soon as this whole Shadow world apocalypse thing is over, I'm moving somewhere far away to the land of munchkins. I could be their giant human master. All I'd need to do is assassinate a witch with a house and steal her shoes.

I may need to murder Magnus to complete this mission. Or possibly team up with him to murder one of his friends. I'm sure I could entice Maggie the magnificent over to my side with some glittery eyeliner pencils and a classic bottle of bourbon.

"Hold on!" Cap demands, chasing after me and Clary down the creepy dungeon corridor.

"Keep up, grumpy!" I call back to him.

"I don't think you planned this rescue mission very well." Clary says to me without any trace of irony whatsoever.

"Yeah, well, you can write a letter of complaint about it later once we've, you know, _actually_ rescued you. We're still mid-rescue at this point. Everything could still come crashing down." Cap says from my left side. He's got his blade out and is looking decidedly on edge again.

Clary gives Cap an unimpressed look, but I can't stop myself from laughing.

"Ha! You incited snark from Cap!" I pinch Clary's arm. She bats me away prissily.

Cap looks quietly pleased with himself, as he should. Clary is glaring at her fingernails. I'm not quite sure what they've done to displease her, but that's really none of my business. What goes on between a girl and her fingernails should always be kept private, an unspoken rule for which I have nothing but respect for. I myself was involved in a very traumatic nail stickers incident when I was thirteen. There was a lot of angry hissing and finger scraping that day. My fingernails and I are of mutual agreement never to mention the fingernail snickers travesty of 2012 ever again.

...

We do eventually find our lost comrades. They've been hiding from us upstairs in a far bigger room that looks half like a laboratory and half like an abandoned storage unit. My douchecanoe of a father has been experimenting again apparently.

When Cap sees his Shadowhusband and Shadowsister, who both appear to be relatively unharmed, his shoulders visibly slump in immense relief.

I point at them and exclaim happily,

"Blondie! Isy-tron! Random Guy We Don't Know!"

Wait, hold on...

I unsheathe Tony and brandish him at the stranger who still has his arm around Blondie's shoulders. Blondie's eyes are red rimmed, and I realise belatedly that he's been crying. I hope this stranger hasn't flicked him in the eye. That always makes me cry.

"Alec! Ever!" Blondie and Isy-tron both look relieved to see us too.

Clary is clutching my arm and looking at us all like we're bonkers. I get why it might seem that way from the outside. Shadowpuppets don't exactly give off a sane-ish vibe and well, I'm me, and that all we really need to say about that.

I point more enthusiastically at Random Guy We Don't Know and ask,

"So, who's your new friend?"

Cap's expression turns from relieved to confused to suspicious to 'I'm gonna kick some Random Guy ass'. And yes, that is an expression. If you haven't seen it before then that's just because you lead a boring life where no one loves you. Or maybe it's a sane life where no one's trying to kill you. I get those two confused sometimes.

Blondie's voice is cracked and filled with conflicting emotion.

"He's my father."

Oh.

Blondie's Dad is kind of hot. For a Dad.

I'm sorry, I can't control my thoughts. Especially when they're true.

I shake Clary from side to side and say,

"This is my sister."

"We kind of guessed that one, Ever, considering the fact that she looks exactly like you." Isy-tron says drolly.

I decide to ignore that and wave at Blondie's Dad.

"Hi Blondie's Dad."

Cap turns an incredulous look on me and says,

"You really aren't very good at this whole 'being a person' thing."

"True dat, true dat." I agree with a self deprecating head bob of acceptance.

"Ever, what's going on?" Clary sounds freaked out, and rightly so, this is all getting way too weird, even for us.

"If I knew I would explain it to you. But I don't, so I can't." I think I'm losing it just a little bit.

I look up and catch Blondie's gaze with my own. His eyes are flashing with truths and emotions I shouldn't be able to read. Part of me wants to reach out to him, to try and take away some of the pain he's obviously experiencing. I don't know everything about Blondie's relationship with his Dad, but he's told me enough things for me to realise that this is all more complicated than it seems on the surface.

I can't make Blondie feel better about this though, not right now, or maybe ever. I don't know what the right thing to say would be in any case. I'm already emotionally strung out from finding my sister and everything else that's happened during the epic rollercoaster that is now my life.

Cap appears to be having the same problems that I am. He looks desperate to go to Blondie and... ** _do_** something. Anything. To make this less awful. More manageable. Not quite as fucked up. But Cap stays resolutely by my side. I don't know if he just doesn't know how to handle the situation, like me, or if he's still worried about my safety.

At least Cap refrains from saying something stupid like 'but your Dad's dead' to Blondie. Instead he apparently decides to go with the sensible route, as is Cap's usual prerogative.

"Is Valentine here?"

"We haven't seen him. We came through the portal and ended up here. Jace and I were looking for you guys when we found...Jace's father. Valentine must have left before we got here." Isy-tron offers. Clary flinches back from the name, causing anger to simmer back to life inside me.

"He has Mom." Clary whispers to me. "We've moved around a few times. He kept me close, but didn't actually lock me up until yesterday."

I frown at that. I'm not sure how to make sense of it. Then again, Valentine is completely mental, so maybe not understanding his actions is a good thing.

I share a look of understanding with Cap, who was the only other person close enough to hear what Clary whispered to me.

"We need to get out of here." Cap says firmly. "The longer we put off talking to the Clave, the worse things will end up being for all of us."

I really don't think things could get much worse between us and the Clavicle, but there's not much else we can do. The Clavicle will catch up to us eventually. Unless we book it to Mexico. Do they have Shadowpuppets in Mexico?

I whack Cap's arm and ask,

"Are there any Shadowwhatsits in Mexico?"

Cap doesn't even miss a beat,

"Yes. But there aren't any in Russia."

Hmm, Russia. Home of the funny fluffy hats. Intriguing.

"Why not?"

Cap sighs like it's just so obvious. He's getting better at making snarky noises. I take full credit for that.

"Because Demons never go to Russia."

"How come?"

"It's too cold." Cap says, completely deadpan.

"You'd think they'd like that, what with Hell being cold too."

Cap looks mildly irritated.

"Hell isn't cold."

"It is according to Dante."

"Demons don't come from the ninth circle of hell."

"Oh, I guess that makes sense. Which circle do they come from?"

Cap replies very seriously,

"The fifth one."

I narrow my eyes at Cap.

"You just picked that one because it has a boat in it."

Cap makes an exasperated sound.

"Demons don't come from hell at all. There is no hell."

I throw my hands up dramatically,

"Oh the irony, he's a part Angel atheist who hunts Demons. Go on then, where to Demons actually come from?"

Cap would usually admit defeat by now, but this time he appears to be in it for the long haul.

"Another dimension."

"What dimension?"

"The Void."

"That means nothing to me."

"Demons go to the Void when they die to reconstruct before returning to their homeland."

"Oh no, please, be more vague in your explanations. I like having to guess what you mean at every turn."

"When we go back to the Institute I'll give you a book that will explain it better."

"Will you read it to me? Like a bed time story kind of deal."

And just like that Cap reaches his breaking point. Cap growls out a frustrated breathe, his eyes blazing, words half bitten, as he says,

"You are _so-_ just...I can't even...I don't... ** _you_** are...your very existence in my life makes my head hurt."

I smile at him proudly.

"Why are you smiling? I am insulting you!" Cap scrapes a hand through his hair, fucking it up completely.

Quite without realising it, Cap and I have moved closer to each other. A lot closer. Damn it.

"Are they always like this?" Clary asks Blondie and Isy-tron.

"Yes." Blondie says wearily. "It just keeps getting weirder, I promise."

Clary's gaze darts thoughtfully from face to face, her expression inscrutable. I have no idea what she's thinking, and that's definitely a first.

Cap takes a big step away from me, his cheeks flushing just a little bit. He locks eyes with Blondie and they do their silent, intense, communication thing again.

This whole time Blondie's Dad has been dividing his time between desperately holding onto Blondie, and, oddly, staring at _me_. I try to make myself believe that I'm just imagining things. I mean, I know that not everything is about me. Thank fuck. The super special snowflake syndrome thing has to have a cut off point, right? Hopefully now Clary can be the heroine who everyone follows around, and I can just sit in the background making snarky comments. That is, after all, The Dream.

...

"How are you feeling about your Dad being back?" I ask Blondie carefully. I half expect him to tell me to butt the hell out. That's what I would do. But, then, Blondie isn't me.

"I feel...I _feel_...like I have no idea what to feel." Blondie looks at me, his mouth slanted strangely, as if he disapproves of his own words.

When we left my bio Dad's ex-evil lair, we all agreed about where we should go. Cap wanted to take both Clary and the COD directly to the Institute. Blondie, Isy-tron and I managed to talk him out of that one. Barely. Cap is not relaxed and easy going when it comes to breaking the rules, or as he likes to call them 'laws'.

I figured there was only place that would feel neutral to all of us. After some manic poking and just generally me being my very convincing cough annoying cough self, I convinced everyone to hide out with Maggie the magnificent. I called Luke and Simon, and told them to meet us there. I told them I'd found Clary, so I'm sure they'll get their asses in the right gear.

Clary was tired as hell, and Magnus offered to let her take a much needed nap in the same room where Luke lazed around being all nibbled half to death and shit.

Isy-tron and Cap are currently whisper-arguing with each other over in the corner, about what exactly I'm not sure. I'm guessing it has something to do with their parents though by the way Cap's jaw keeps ticking with barely restrained anger. He's still not over his parents lying to him about their relationship with Valendouche. Every few minutes Cap's eyes flicker over to me and Blondie. We're sitting together on one of Magnus' many divine couches. Cap's gaze will lingers on my face, questions left unanswered between us, and answers with questions unspoken waiting in the wings.

Cap and Blondie are still being weird with each other, and I honestly don't get why. I know how close they are, more than just friends or brothers. I wish I could force them to talk and hug and stop being such _guys_. But that is not within my power, or, honestly, my rights.

Blondie's creepy Dad is in the bathroom at the moment, which is why I'm talking to Blondie right now. This is the first chance we've had to talk to each other properly since The Kiss. I should really stop capitalising it, but I think all major events should be capitalised. Even stupid ass ones that shouldn't matter.

"There's no _right way_ to feel about this." I say, searching Blondie's eyes for signs of understanding. "Some things are just too... _real_ to be explained with words." I touch Blondie's hand, stroking my thumb over his knuckles softly. I realise suddenly that I must be throwing off some really conflicting signals when Blondie's brows furrow and he looks at me like he isn't quite sure how to deal with what we are to each other now. I don't even know what I want from him. Or maybe anyone. Too much has happened in an almost comically short amount of time.

I don't know how to handle finding my sister. Or the fact that my prick of a father is out there still. I don't know how to feel about kissing Blondie. I don't know how to help Simon, my best friend who always has my back, deal with everything he's been through because of me and what I am. I don't know what's going on between me and Cap, and that scares me because it's almost impossible to figure something out when you aren't even sure what that something is in the first place.

I have so much going on in my world right now, and sometimes I just want to scream at the top of my lungs that **_I don't know!_** Because I don't know. I really, really, don't, and I'm not ok with that. I want to leave it all behind, to run away and start over without all of this _crap_ looming over me every single second of the day.

Actually, what I really wish I could do is go home with Clary. I want to go to our place on the roof of our old apartment building and lay down side by side and look up at the stars and tell each other everything we would never say at any other time and in any other place and to any other person in the world.

There have been times in my life when I've wondered what I would do if everything came crashing down around me. If I lost myself to reality in the same way so many people often do. Now everything actually _has_ come crashing down, and I'm definitely in danger of losing the scattered shards and pieces of myself that I've been trying to hold onto.

"I thought he was dead, Ever." Blondie chokes on the last few words. I tighten my grip on his hand. Blondie gives me a half fevered, desperate look, "If I'd known, if I'd even suspected, that he was alive, I would've-"

I cut off whatever self-hating rant Blondie was about to word-vomit in my face.

"I know you would have searched for him. He's your Dad. No one's doubting you, babe. You thought he was gone, and you didn't have any reason to think otherwise until today. That's not your fault. It's not anyone's fault but Valentine's."

Blondie's expression softens in the face of my indignant defense of him. It feels weird to be defending someone to themselves, but I get that there are times we can be our own worst enemy.

"I need to talk to you, Ever." Blondie twines our fingers together. "What happened between us before we saved Meliorn, when I kissed-"

"I really do not think we should be talking about this right now." I can't do this. I don't even want to. I can't have a conversation with Blondie about our kiss when Cap is quite literally watching us, _me_ , from across the room. It doesn't feel right, and even if I can't trust anyone else, I still trust my gut. And my gut is screaming at me to back off.

"You need to sort your shit out with Cap." I say more confidently. Because that is one thing I'm certain of.

Blondie ducks his head, blond hair falling to shield his eyes from me. Tension creeps into Blondie's shoulders.

"I don't understand what's going on with him anymore." Blondie admits to me mournfully.

"Then maybe you should stop ignoring the problem and ask him. You know Cap, he's hardly likely to suddenly burst into song one day about his emotions. A walking-talking Disney character he ain't. He obviously cares about you, so just ask him what's going on inside his head. He'll probably talk to you about what's bothering faster than he would anyone else." I advise, and then groan inwardly. I did not sign on to be a couple councillor for Shadowhusbands and their pernickety man-angst.

I have enough fucking angst of my own thank you very much universe.

I can feel Cap's gaze burning into me from the other side of the rather large room. His attention is like a ghost running hesitant fingers across my soul. Heat mixed with confusion stokes a fire inside my core, and I try to push it away, but that lightning strong connection between me and Cap won't let go without a fight. I don't think I have it in me for that kind of fight.

Have you ever looked at someone, and I mean _really_ looked at them, and realised that they are your exact opposite? We've all heard that opposites attract, but this is just taking it to an entirely different level. I can't stop myself from locking eyes with Cap. There's a magnetic pull between us that I find impossible to compare with anything else I've ever felt in my life. Granted, I've lived a relatively short life, but some part of me knows, deep down in my bones, that I could live another hundred years and still never feel this way about another person.

"I think you underestimate how much he cares for you." Blondie says to me.

God I hope not. I already think Cap and I care far too much as it is.

Before I can respond, with what I have no idea, I'm distracted by Clary coming back into the room with Maggie the magnificent at her side.

Magnus goes to get a drink, holding up a bottle of what I'm sure is very expensive whiskey and tipping his head at me in question. I smile at him and nod. Yes, I need a drink. A big one.

Clary flops down next to me with a huff. I turn to her and say,

"I thought you were having a nap."

Clary leans on me and sighs,

"I tried, but there's too much going on inside my head. Thought I'd come and be sociable instead."

"Ah, fair enough, I shall introduce you to the mystery machine gang; Shadowpuppets edition." I smirk, trying to make it look as not-fake as possible. It's harder to pull off than you'd think.

I poke Blondie,

"This is Blondie. He's blond. You don't need to pay much attention to him."

Blondie leans around me to look at Clary properly.

"My name is _Jace_." He says. "And I am to be revered as the best Shadowhunter who ever lived."

I make an 'he's crazy' motion with my finger, twisting it around and around next to my temple.

Clary ignores me, rude!, and focuses on Jace. She actually smiles at him, which is a first today. Then again, being locked up by your psyhco Dad wouldn't exactly give you many things to smile about.

I point at Magnus when he comes over with my drink. He sits down on the fancy table in front of us and hands me the glass of whiskey. I take it from him with a very grateful 'thank you' and swallow a large gulp right off the bat.

"This is Magnus the fabulous wearer of glitter eyeshadow. The rest of us can only aspire to look as good as he does dressed as a fancy pirate." I tip my drink at Magnus as a sign of deep respect.

Clary is too busy having a conversation with Blondie about nonsense to pay attention to me though. I don't even want to know what they find so interesting to talk about like exitable chipmunks on meth. I decide to just leave them to it. At least they'll be preoccupied.

Magnus eyes me thoughtfully. I make it a point to stare at him blankly, and then make a scary 'boo' face. It surprises Magnus into a fit of laughter.

"You are by far the strangest Shadowhunter I've ever met, and I've been around...for a while." Magnus says in his usual almost musical sounding voice. It's oddly soothing actually.

"Yeah, well, I live to entertain the masses." I say dryly. "Thank you for letting us come here." I offer more sincerely.

Magnus shrugs one shoulder and leans forward, dicing his drink from one hand to the other. I wonder if that's a nervous gesture or not. Magnus doesn't seem the type to have such an obvious tick, but I don't really know him well enough to make that judgement call.

"Yes, well, you got Alec to ask, and he's very difficult to say no to." Magnus says, raising his eyebrow suggestively.

I crack a real smile at that.

"It's the intense baby blues, right?"

"Got it in one." Magnus tips his own glass at me.

Blondie's Dad comes back into the room, searching it warily. Blondie gets up and goes over to him. Clary, quite surprisingly, follows after him. I don't even want to try and analyse that right now.

I turn my attention back to Magnus.

"Are you and the ever-so-blond-one...?" He trails off, but his intended question is obvious. Although my answer is not.

"I usually prefer for my relationships to be low on drama." I say, deciding to let Magnus take that however he wants to.

"Ah, so jaded." Magnus mocks me good naturedly.

"I know, it's a tragedy. The youth of today are doomed." I take another swallow of burning brown alcohol.

"I've watched Shadowhunters fall in love. They're very 'all or nothing' when it comes to love most of the time." Magnus says, and his lips quirk up in amusement.

"Then I choose nothing." I murmur, mostly to myself, my gaze fixed on the contents of my glass.

Magnus doesn't have time to reply, as Luke and Simon choose this moment to come racing into the room at break-neck speed.

"Clary!" They both exclaim at exactly the same time.

"Luke! Simon!" Clary throws herself at them for tight embraces.

I throw my arms out and announce,

"TA DA!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N-Ok, so whilst I was writing this chapter, I got to thinking about music and what songs would fit for Ever's relationship with certain people. I don't want to spoil it for anyone, so I decided to give a song to each (potential-possible) ship. I think it's safe to say (at the moment, as things could change later on!) that the three possible ships for Ever are:  
> Eimon (Ever/Simon)- Stuck On You by Mieko  
> Jever (Jace/Ever)- Dare You To Move by Switchfoot  
> Fraywood (Ever Fray/Alec Lightwood)- Fate Don't Know You by Desi Valentine  
> Keep in my mind that these songs represent what their relationships could become, not what they are now. And yes, my wonderful people, I clearly have too much time on my hands. But hey, that means I'm already half done with the next chapter, so, hopefully the next update will be very soon! Silver linings! Huzzah!  
> THANK YOU TO EVERYONE FOR READING! PLEASE COMMENT! XXX


	15. Who's Your Daddy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do NOT own Shadowhunters. Or The Mortal Instruments. The only thing I own in this fic is my character 'Ever'.

"But why would Valentine tell a prisoner what he was planning to do?" Clary asks, shifting forward in her seat.

After Young Dracula and Alpha fluffy showed up, we all swiftly gathered around Creepy Dad to hear his story of woe. His very suspicious story of woe actually.

"He was probably monologuing." I say. "Evil villains do that. They monologue about all their evil plans. That's what's wrong with this generation of evil villains. Too much James Bond and not enough Kill Bill."

Cap gives me the eyebrow equivalent of slapping his forehead in exasperation. Blondie is fidgeting in a way that makes me nervous. I know it must be because of his Dad, which within itself is even more worrying. Maggie the magnificent is sitting next to me, with his arm draped casually around my shoulders, because the most awesome of our group clearly need to stick together as a show of solidarity. Simon is carefully dividing his staring time between me and Clary. I'm not looking forward to explaining to Clary about Simon's whole fang incident. Maybe if I phrase it a fun, happy-go-lucky, way, Clary won't try to kick my ass for allowing our best friend to get turned into a vampy person.

Yeah, I don't hold out much hope on that score either.

It would be even worse if Isy-tron were here, but she's gone back to Institute to try and explain everything that's been going on to the Clavicle. We all hope that that will keep the Clavicle off of our backs long enough to give us time to work on a plan. Cap didn't want his sister to go back alone, but she argued that he was needed here, with Blondie and me. Isy-tron also argued that she could handle herself, of which I have no doubt.

Luke is watching Creepy Dad like he's a slightly dodgy ghost, or the result of some kind of awkward dream. I bet he's getting bad feels off of Creepy Dad too. Maybe it's just because Blondie's Dad has been kept locked away for so long by the evil Valendouche. That level of horror is bound to effect someone, and most likely not in a positive way.

Creepy Dad is watching me closely again. I make a ghoul face at him. He jerks backwards in surprise. Clary punishes me by slapping my arm. She hisses at me,

"Ever, stop being weird."

Cap snorts derisively, pins me with one his 'looks', and says,

"Well that's never gonna happen. Might as well go around telling ducks to stop quacking while you're at it."

"I hate ducks." Blondie says, glowering at his hands as if they might at any minute transform into ducks themselves. Oh the horror.

"What's your issue with ducks?" I ask suspiciously. Because, dude, who has a personal disliking for ducks? Especially when owls are clearly the most evil form of birdlife. Seriously. Look it up. Owls. Pure evil.

"A goose bit me when I was a kid." Blondie informs me.

I frown at him,

"And what? Did you see the goose's inner duck? Or were you bitten by a duck masquerading as a goose? Was the goose's spirit animal a duck by any chance?"

Cap explains in the direst tone to have ever of been snarked,

"He thinks the ducks by the pond were laughing at him after he got bit by the goose. Otherwise known as the duck overlord."

"Those ducks **_did_** laugh! I heard them! The fluffy little assholes!" Blondie cries indignantly, shooting Cap a betrayed look.

Well that's officially enough in depth character development for me folks.

"How are _you_ afraid of _ducks_?" Simon screws his nose up at Blondie, "You fight Demons, man."

"Don't start with me _mundane_." Blondie glares at huffily at Simon.

I scoff and flick Blondie's arm,

"Um, I think you'll find the correct term is 'mudblood'."

"Besides I'm a vampire now, bitch." Simon says almost proudly. I think he's had one too many blood cocktails.

"You're a _what_?!" Clary screeches, her eyes widening almost comically.

Whoops.

"Oh, right, sorry. Simon's kind of a vampire now." I say sheepishly. Clary turns a disbelieving look on me. "It's a long story." I add with a half shrug.

"It's a fucking stupid story you mean." Simon grouses, his brows furrowing.

"What's a mudblood?" Cap asks me curiously. Those impossibly ocean blue eyes fasten on my face, and I try my hardest not the squirm noticeably under the scrutiny.

I look straight at him, which appears to unsettle Cap just as much, so score one for me, and I explain,

"Mudbloods are what posh blond people call non-blond peasants."

Or at least that's what I **_assumed_** from how the Harry Potter series demonstrated it's use of the word.

Cap raises an ebony eyebrow and asks,

"That's another one your youth culture things isn't it?"

I shake my head sadly at him,

"Calm down grandpa. And yeah, it's from Harry Potter."

Cap frowns thoughtfully. It's a cute look on him. And I immediately want to stab myself for even thinking that.

"Harry Potter..." Cap says, "Is that the one where the kid lives in space and all the people fight with giant witch light sticks?"

"Nope." I say, "That'd be Star Wars."

Cap continues to mentally struggle onwards.

"Is it the one where a load of kids are put in an arena and are forced to kill each other?"

"Wrong again. You're thinking of the Hunger Games."

"Or Battle Royale." Simon chips in helpfully. Or should I say dorkily?

I roll my eyes at him,

"We're not having this argument again, Si. Yes, the Hunger Games clearly shares a similar premise with Battle Royale, but-"

"It doesn't just share the same premise, the Hunger Games is obviously a rip off of the far superior movie, Battle Royale." Simon interrupts, the son of a cad. Believe it or not, this is the tenth time we've had this discussion. Why we've spent so much time on it I have no idea. Simon gets vicious about movies sometimes.

And I've decided to bring 'cad' back alongside 'halt', ok.

I roll my eyes at Simon and say,

"You do not wanna start something with me today _Edward_."

Simon sucks in a dramatic huff of air.

"Really? The vampire puns still seem ok to you. I died." He huffs again. "And clearly, I'm way more like a Spike vampire."

I scoff incrediously,

"You are so _not_ a Spike. At the most, you're a Benny from Supernatural. At worst, I'd say you're a Count Nightwing."

"Woah, seriously, you're not even gonna give me Dracula?" Simon pulls a very offended expression and clutches at his metaphorical pearls.

"I'll say it once and I'll say it a million times more, you're not man enough to be a Dracula, Si. Deal with it and move on with your life."

"I can't." Simon says darkly. "I'm dead."

"Oh well now you're just being a big maudlin emo vamp. Lieutenant Sparkles is dead and you don't see him getting snarky with his friends."

"All of his friends are dead too."

"Lieutentant Sparkles actually _has friends_." I say in disbelief. "I was totally joking about that before. That is literally the most shocking thing I've heard all day."

Cap's attention keeps flickering between me and Simon as we argue about nonsense.

"So which one is Harry Potter then?" Cap finally cuts in, leading us back to the original conversation. Sort of. Ok, that's a lie. I have no idea what we were talking about before.

"It's the thing with all the wizards and stuff." Blondie says to his para-bottle-bubble-tai.

"I don't even know what's going on anymore." Clary says, throwing her hands up in despair and looking at us like we're all completely mad. Again.

"I do!" Maggie claims smugly. Then he scowls to himself and goes on, "But I kind of wish I didn't. Understanding Shadowhunters can't be good for my mental health."

"I think it's best if you just talk over them." Luke stage whispers to a very confused looking Creepy Dad. Luke sweeps a very knowing raised eyebrow around at all of us and adds pointedly, "You remember what we were like as teenagers. Mouthy. Rude. Unable to grasp the gravity of very important situations."

"Hey!" Cap, Clary, Simon, Blondie and I all crow at the same time.

Luke just smirks and pretends to plug his ears with his fingers.

"Loud. We were also very _loud_ too."

"Oh, I get it." I say, narrowing my eyes playfully at Luke, "You're one of them who thinks he's funny."

"I thought we were talking about Valentine." Clary interjects.

" _Who_?" I ask.

"He's your evil Shadowhunter Dad who is attempting to destroy us all." Cap supplies easily.

"Oh right yeah. Him." I say, and offer a thankful smile to Cap. Cap smiles back at me with a hint of genuine warmth, which for Cap is almost the equivalent of an inferno. There's some more mutual smiling. We smile at each other. A lot. Like more than two people should reasonably smile at each other and have it remain unweird. And we are _still_ smiling. Why? How? WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

Cap's smile is kind of crooked and just a little bit sexy. I like Cap's smile.

 _Gross_.

I think I need to have my brain examined by someone. Like a professional kind of someone. I should go visit Dr. Stone. The vet who once saved my cactus' life. She'll know what's wrong with me. And even on the off chance that she doesn't, I'm pretty sure I can still score some free Animal drugs. I'm not sure what I'd use them for, but you never know. I wonder if animal tranquilisers work on Werewolves.

"Ok, Dad, you were saying." Blondie prompts, giving both Cap and I a dodgy look of suspicion. Cap ducks his head, embarrassed. I pull a face at Blondie, who rolls his eyes in response. Simon catches on and sends me a couple of intrigued eyebrow wiggles. Clary just looks confused. Magnus is flashing all of us with a knowing smirk. I think he's my new favourite.

"Valentine didn't tell me his plans. Not directly." Creepy Dad tells us, and thank crimeny someone wants to keep us on track. He gave me a way to learn all about his plans." Creepy Dad says.

"Tell us more Blondie's Dad." I whisper, leaning forward eagerly.

Blondie says,

"My father had a name you know."

"Shhh, Blondie, your Dad is telling us a story, this is no time for one of your melodrama diva moments."

Blondie sputters something unimportant. Cap sniffs, but it's one of his half amused sniffs that he uses to pretend he isn't completely entranced by me and my ultra epic sense of the funny. Clary is still looking at Blondie's Dad, an odd expression on her face that I will need to investigate later.

Creepy Dad went on to explain how Valendouche injected him with Downerwaffle blood and how that led to Creepy Dad developing super senses...somehow. I'm still not totally sure how Downerwaffle blood works, so bear with me.

Apparently Valendouche wanted to set up his evil lair closer to the Institute and one of his Death Eaters suggested Renwick's. Renwick's is a deserted smallpox hospital on one of the islands of the East River.

"Valentine left me to die in that cage." Creepy Dad says.

Blondie's eyes flash with barely restrained rage, and I'm suddenly worried about what he might do if and when we actually come face to face with my evil villain bio Dad. I glance over at Cap, only to find him giving Blondie the same worried look that I was probably sporting only a few moments earlier. Something in my gut clenches. If Cap is concerned about Blondie enough to show it so blatantly, then that makes me feel even more sure that something is really wrong with him.

"Valentine never wasted time on compassion." Luke Mc fluffy says gravely.

"He won't be getting any compassion from me." Blondie all but snarls under his breathe.

Blondie stands up abruptly. I reach out for him at the same time as Cap. We both manage to grab hold of him. Blondie tries to pull away from us, but as if with silent understanding, neither Cap or I let go.

"We need a strategy before we can take on Valentine." Creepy Dad says, "Waiting a day could mean the difference between failure and success.

"Jace...please..." Cap pleads quietly, calmly, although the tension in Cap's body suggests he's feeling anything but calm. Blondie looks at Cap, and they share another one of those silent convo things that I don't know if I'll ever understand.

"I'm sorry Alec." Blondie says, his expression softening. "I promise you that I'm ok."

I'm quite certain that's a lie, and Cap knows it too. He'd have to be an idiot, or in crazy denial, not to know it.

"We can go scout Renwick's together." Cap suggests, and it sounds like an offering to appease Blondie more than anything.

Blondie's shoulders lose some of their tension and he nods.

"Yeah, that's a good idea."

"Yep, I one hundred percent agree, fantastic idea Cap. Lets rock and roll." I say, clambering out my seat to stand beside Blondie. I realise belatedly that I'm still holding onto him, and my skin burns from the contact. I pull my hand away, but it's too late really. I already feel as if my hand has been branded by my proximity to Blondie alone.

Cap looks at me, a searing fierceness in his eyes. It fucking steals all the breathe from my body, that's how God damn intense it is. I match his unrelenting stare with a steady one of my own. White-hot liquid fire travels through my veins, quickly consuming my body from head to toe. Crackles of electrifying awareness take my nerve endings hostage, and if I was a little bit less stubborn then I might even turn away from Cap in reaction to it all. As it is, I'm unwilling to give into my inner lizards instinct that beg for me to flee. Luckily, or unluckily, depending on how you look at it, Cap doesn't seem able to back down either.

Blondie is watching us both in a way I'm not sure how to read. It's definitely curiosity mixed with something. Confusion maybe.

"You and Ever were joking about you being a vampire right?" Clary asks to Simon fearfully.

And just like that, the spell between me, Cap and Blondie is broken. Thank fuck. I have no idea where that was going.

I guess it's a good thing my staring contest skills are pure gold. I have a feeling there will be many more moments in the near future where I will have to deploy them.

...

So...we scouted. It was surprisingly boring. I spent the entire time trying not to feel weird about being alone with Cap and Blondie. Of course that was an epic fail because it was weird. Very weird.

More importantly there were a butt load of Demons hiding inside Renwick's. We could see them from our position, which wasn't even that close to the building itself. They weren't attempting to hide themselves, which means either Valentine is just that arrogant, or it's trap to draw us in. I'm guessing the latter, but there's no real way to be sure.

None of us like the sense of uncertainty. However we still all agreed to attack Renwick's. Clary refused to back down when there was a real possibility of being able to save our mother. I showed Clary the COD and she attempted to take it out of the tarot card. We both got frustrated when she couldn't do it. I'd been hoping she'd just pluck it out of the card the same way our mother so easily placed it inside.

We decided to attack from two sides. Creepy Dad, Luke and Blondie would push through the front, whereas myself, Clary, Simon and Cap would come in from the side. There was a lot of arguing about who would stay with who. Blondie wanted to stay with me and Clary, but it made more sense for each side to have one fully fledged Shadowpuppet. Luke and Creepy Dad don't really count in my book, and I definitely don't. As badass as I am with Tony, I'm still a Shadow-novice.

When we arrive back at Renwick's it's dark and all the Demons appear to have fled. I get an uneasy feeling about the whole situation, but there doesn't seem much point in turning back now. Not when we're so close.

Cap, Si, Clary and I manage to sneak in without any of the Death eaters noticing us. They're all too busy trying to hold off Blondie, Luke and Creepy Dad. I feel worried for both Luke and Blondie. I care about them both way too much not to worry. I have to keep reminding myself that they're both experienced fighters. If anything, I should be more concerned about getting my mother out of this place alive.

"Stay close and behind me." Cap instructs us in his no nonsense voice once we're inside Renwick's.

"I love it when you get bossy." I tease him.

Cap gives me another one of those 'looks' of his and replies,

"Don't start, Ever."

"Yes sir!" I salute him with two fingers.

Clary is already shaking her head at me.

"Could you stop flirting with this guy for two seconds please?"

"I don't flirt with him." I say indignantly.

At same time Simon peers at me questioningly and asks,

"You flirt with him?"

"She does." Clary says to Simon before I can answer, then to me she says, "You do. And he flirts back."

Now it's Cap's turn to look all flustered and indignant.

"I do not." Cap says gruffly.

"Neither myself nor my new bestie Cap have any idea what you are referring to. We are platonic BFF's. Like for real." I say with a purposeful flip of my hair. Because Mean Girls bitches.

Clary snorts in disbelief and says to me,

"I can't believe you've managed to hook in a guy even during all this bullshit. I can't decide whether that's impressive or just plain disturbing."

I hold up to fingers and wave them in front of Clary's face,

"Ok, first of all, I haven't ' _hooked'_ anyone. Guys aren't fish. Apart from male fish. Who are fish. And male. Secondly, why do you say that like you would never have started a thing with a guy during all this..." I wave my hands around, "..stuff?" I finally land on. I'm not sure how to describe it all sanely.

Clary sniffs and whacks my fingers away from her face. She is so _violent_. Prison life has turned her into a bad egg for sure. I may need to ship her off to one of those teen behavioural camps. Or fat camp. I don't know if you actually have to be fat to go to fat camp though. I just think Clary could use the discipline to control her more violent urges.

Clary says confidently,

"I wouldn't even _think_ about being interested in a guy right now. That would be crazy. And shallow."

Oh, bitchy twin say what now?

"I don't have anything going on with a guy right now-" Apart from kissing Blondie and being insanely attracted to him, my impossibly deep feelings for Cap that I don't know how to deal with at all, and quite possibly some underlying weird thing with Simon that I'm pretending not to notice for now-"so you can button your face, evil twin."

"Whatever." Clary huffs, glancing away from me defiantly.

Simon and Cap are sharing a look that clearly means 'girls a strange'. Assholes.

From the inside Renwick's looks like just another abandoned building, with rubbish littering the floor and graffiti spray painted all over the walls. As far as evil lairs go, this is kind of crap, and I am not very impressed. If my bio Dad is evil, couldn't he at least be the cool kind of evil.

We move together carefully through the suspiciously empty hallways. Cap kicks open a set of large double doors and we all ready our weapons just in case we finally run into someone.

Clary and I both gasp when we see our mother. She's floating in mid air and surrounded by some kind of colourful energy. Clary breaks away from us and runs over to her. I feel a bit more reluctant. Simon and Cap stay by my side. Cap looks down at me with concern in his eyes.

"Are getting a bad feeling about all this too?" Cap asks me.

I'm not even surprised that we're feeling the same thing right now. It makes sense to me inside a weird way.

"Totally." I say to Cap, "I don't like that we haven't come across anybody else yet, let alone my father."

"Isn't this a good thing though?" Simon says, "Without anyone guarding her we can get your Mom out of here a lot easier."

"Yeah, that's what's giving me the bad feeling." I say distractedly.

Cap is scanning the room, searching for trouble. He's tense and clearly as uncomfortable as I am about how wrong this all feels. We shouldn't have been able to find Mom this easily. There should have at least been a few people guarding her. This is a trap, I know it. I can feel it right down to my bones, in my blood even.

"She won't wake up." Clary turns around, tears in her eyes.

My gut clenches, but before I can respond to Clary, both Blondie and his Dad come skidding into the room. They slam the doors behind them. They draw runes on the door to keep the doors locked.

"Um, guys," I call out to them, "tell me if I'm wrong, but I could swear we left _three_ of you outside. Not gonna brag about my counting skills or nothin' but-"

Blondie cuts me off with a panted,

"Luke's outside."

"I gathered that part." I say dryly.

"He's fighting Blackwell."

"Well I didn't think he was off picking daises." I say testily. Damn I'm on edge.

Blondie seems to sense this because he frowns at me, but doesn't get all pissy. Cap and Simon both turn to me at the same time and place one of their hands on my shoulders. It's almost creepy how in sync they were about it.

"We'll be ok, Ev's." Simon says with surprising confidence. It must be the vampy ego booster stuff.

Cap exchanges a very complicated stare with Blondie before saying to me,

"I've got your back, Ever. We can fight our way out of this."

I feel more reassured than I should by that. But it's good to know that I have someone I can rely on to fight beside me if everything falls to shit. And it probably will. Very quickly.

I place my hand on Cap's and my skin instantly ignites in response to the contact. Again, it isn't the same fire I feel when Blondie touches me. It's a different kind of heat. More solid somehow. And it reaches deeper inside me, past my skin and into my blood, invading my every particle and making them vibrate.

I tear my attention away from Cap and look over at Blondie. I say to him,

"I don't care what Luke said. We need to get out of here and go get him. He can't fight off everyone alone."

Blondie's gaze sparks with something I can't name and he opens his mouth, probably to argue knowing him, but before he can something heavy bashes against the doors.

Clary lets out a scream and runs towards them,

"We can't leave Luke outside!"

"I'm sorry Clary, but there's not enough time." Blondie says regretfully.

"We need to secure the room!" Creepy Dad says more firmly.

"Not without Luke." Clary snarls.

The Demons surround us and start to tear apart the walls. They'll get inside and kill us all sooner rather than later. There's only one thing that can stop them. Panic and anger goes to war within me.

I open up my bag and take out the tarot card. I'm surprised when it starts to glow in my hands. Everyone turns to stare at me, but I'm unable to shift focus from the tarot card. I swallow hard and pray to any Gods that may be listening that this will work. I press my fingers against the surface of the cup and almost coke on my own tongue when they actually reach inside. I'm able to take hold of COD and take it out of the tarot card.

"Well holy shit on a biscuit!" I say, more than a little bit shocked.

With renewed confidence I hold the glowing cup out in front of me and shout,

"Stop! Demons! Stand down now!"

And my to my ever lasting surprise, they do. All of the Demons instantly stop growling and trying to attack us.

"Woah, that was awesome!" Simon says eyes flickering between me and still glowing cup.

"For once," Blondie says with a tight laugh, "I agree with the mundane."

I look up at Cap, but despite the relief on his face, he still looks wary. To be honest, I feel the same. Something still isn't right.

It's then that I look at Creepy Dad. He's staring at the COD with brightness in his eyes that freaks me out. I don't know what it is about him, but...

"Ever, could I have a look at the cup." Creepy Dad takes a step towards me, his hand held out for the COD.

I hold the COD closer to my chest protectively. Cap does the same by stepping closer to me. His eyes are trained on Blondie's Dad, a threat evident in the way Cap holds his body. Cap and I are on the same wavelength with this, I'm sure of it.

Clary drifts over to me, standing in front of our Mom with a savage look on her face. Even Simon seems to have picked up on the vibe and is shifting around uncomfortably.

"Ever-" Creepy Dad starts, but I cut him off.

"No." I say coldly.

"Ever, just let my father have a look at the cup." Blondie says with a confused frown on his face.

I hold onto the COD even tighter and say just as coldly the second time,

"No."

"Jace, something is going on here. Something is really _wrong_." Cap says to Blondie, his eyes silently begging for Blondie to understand without Cap actually having to say the words out loud.

"Who are you?" I demand of Creepy Dad, unable to hold my tongue any longer.

Creepy Dad's expression shifts into something decidedly unpleasant.

"Alec...Ever...what are you talking about, he's my father." Blondie says, sounding bewildered by both my words and Cap's.

"I don't think he is." I say, glaring at Creepy Not-Dad now.

Creepy Non-Dad's lip twitches into a smirk and he drawls,

"Oh, I truly am Jace's father. Just not with this face."

That throws me off a little bit.

Creepy Non-Dad takes out a stele and swipes it over a rune on his forearm. The rune lights up and before my eyes Creepy-Dad changes form. When I realise I'm looking into the eyes of Valendouche himself I take a large step backwards and stuff the COD into my bag and out of sight.

"Valentine." Clary breathes from behind us, fear etched into her voice.

"You!" Blondie growls, stalking forwards with his weapon drawn. "You impersonated my father." Blondie looks just about ready to kill some folk.

Cap rushes to aid his brother warrior and raises his weapon, ready to attack if Valentine makes a move.

"I didn't impersonate your father, Jace." Valentine says coolly before Blondie can reach him. "I **_am_** your father."

I'm having a very star wars flashback moment here.

"You're a lair!" Blondie snarls. He holds his weapon against Valentine's throat. Cap moves forwards, closer to Blondie. He looks more concerned for Blondie than about Valentine attacking.

"I am your father. I always have been." Valentine explains a bit breathlessly, "The face you saw as Michael Wayland was mine. Then and now. It was a powerful glamour. I want you to know me...as I am. I want you to know the truth-"

"Jace, don't listen to him." Cap says, looking like he wants to kill Valentine himself just to stop the bastard from _talking_. And I am right on board with sentiment.

I do not want to believe what Valentine is obviously trying to tell us, and more than that I don't want Blondie to be caused anymore pain. This is hurting him. Every part of this is hurting him, and I loathe it all for that alone.

"Stop doing this to him." I shout at Valentine. "Your lies are destroying him, so just _stop it!"_

"He's our father." Clary says, taking a step forward. "We know that for a fact."

"Yes." Valentine says nodding eagerly. "Clary and Ever are my daughters... and you Jace...you are my _son_."

No. This just...it can't be. I just _can't_.

"He's lying Jace." Cap says, reaching out a hand to touch Jace's arm, "He's just trying to stop us from arresting him. Please brother-"

"I wouldn't lie." Valentine says forcefully, his eyes locked with Blondie's. "You are my son, Jace. Ever and Clary are your sisters. I've seen you...how drawn to them you are."

Blondie chokes on emotion, painful fucking emotion, and drops his blade away from Valentine's throat. Cap grabs hold of Blondie pulls him in. He holds onto Blondie with a level of protective strength that make my heart break. Blondie grasps the arm that Cap has firmly wrapped around him, using the other as his anchor. Cap slides a hand into Blondie's hair and grips it tightly. I watch them as they are the pain that is clearly ripping Blondie apart.

Whilst we're all distracted, Valentine moves away, towards an old mirror and uses it to create a portal. I realise what he's doing too late and run towards him. I stop beside Blondie and Cap when Valentine opens his mouth to speak.

"Ah, this is wonderful...a lost mother found, and siblings reunited."

A scream rips itself out of Blondie and he charges Valentine, shoving away from Cap. Blondie stops short though with his blade once again pressed against Valentine's throat. Blondie is breathing hard, and his whole body is quaking.

I try to rush forward again to help, but Cap wraps his arms around my waist and yanks me back against his chest to stop me. I don't fight Cap's hold even though I want to.

"You won't kill me." Valentine says unashamedly to Blondie. "You're too weak Jace. What's wrong Jace? Can't kill the man who raised you?"

Cap lets go of me suddenly and growls,

"Maybe he can't, but I can." Cap takes a run at Valentine, weapon raised and ready.

Valentine laughs coldly and spins Blondie around, stealing his weapon and holding it to his throat. Cap stops with his blade pointed at Blondie and Valentine.

"Go ahead Alec. Two for one." Valentine sneers at Cap.

Blondie looks desperately at Cap.

"I'll destroy you for this." Cap promises darkly, and I have doubt that he means it.

Valentine just smirks mockingly.

"Such _loyalty_...I had that once...but my parabatai betrayed me." He's speaking to Blondie now, in hushed coaxing tones, "Yours will betray you too, Jace. My parabatai stole the woman I loved... and from what I've seen...yours is more than ready to do the same." Valentine's eyes flicker to me for a single moment. As if there was any doubt as to who he was referring to. "Come and find me Jace...we can be a family again."

Valentine shoves his son towards Cap, who reaches out to steady Blondie. In that brief hesitation from all of us, Valentine vanishes through the portal and the portal instantly closed behind him.

I look back at Simon, who has an arm wrapped around Clary comfortingly. Clary has her face pressed against Simon's shoulder. Luke comes bursting into the room then, causing me to jump about five fucking feet in the air. He goes over to Mom and stares down at her lovingly.

Cap has his forehead pressed against Blondie's as they stand, breathing together, without saying a single word.

And I stand between them all. Alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone for reading and please comment, short or long, I just love to hear from you all! x


	16. The Aftermath Of Broken Stares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do NOT own Shadowhunters. Or The Mortal Instruments. The only thing I own in this fic is my character 'Ever'.

"We gave Lydia the cup. Hodge is taking her to lock it up until she goes back to Idris." Blondie says after what feels like an excruciatingly long and uncomfortable silence. He avoids looking at me, as he's been doing ever since we got back to the Institute.

Not that I can entirely blame Blondie. This once. It's not like he could have known that his supposedly dead father was actually my father in disguise. Or should I say _our_ father in disguise?

Nah, that's still too weird.

I'm gonna need to get way, _way_ , drunk before I can even think about that shit without wanting to scream into a pillow. I may need to escape to Magnus' place for that. Maybe he'll let me hide out there for the next year or so. That should be enough time for me to convince myself that it's no big thing that I've spent the last few weeks eye fucking my own God damn secret _brother_. But, I mean, what is the appropriate amount of time you have to suffer through before you can officially get over that level of mind fuckary? I don't think there's a real answer for that. At least not one that won't fuck with my mind more than it's already been fucked with lately.

I catch Cap staring at me from across the room. That unfairly intense cool gaze of his causes a shiver to race up my spine. I know, in this one moment, that I have his complete and undivided attention. I almost want to curse at him for his obvious concern. That pushes me into a whole new category of standoffish bitchiness. But I still half wish Cap would focus more on Blondie, who by this point is pacing the room like a caged lion.

It was Cap who Blondie was speaking to of course. Talking to me would mean acknowledging my existence in his life, and there's no way either of us is ready for that. It's hard enough sitting here in the Institute with my sister sagged on the sofa next to me and staring worriedly at our floating magically comatose mother. We really don't need to be adding potential incest issues to the current situation.

Blondie seems to be waiting for a response from Cap. But when he actually gets one, it isn't exactly encouraging enough to use as a prelude for a proper conversation.

"Okay." Cap says in that same bored tone he always seems to use when he wants to block something out. He doesn't usually use that tone with Blondie, but I've heard him use it on other people enough, myself included.

"' _Okay_ '?" Blondie sounds half scornful, half incredulous. "That's it? Seriously, Alec?"

I almost feel as if my sister and I shouldn't be here for whatever is about to transpire between Cap and Blondie. But there's really no way for us to leave without making it into an even bigger scene than it already is. If the two assholes are gonna fight, then they're gonna fight, whether I'm within earshot or not. That's just fact.

I almost want to ask them if we can postpone this until tomorrow when hopefully I'll have more energy to...mediate or some shit. I could be a Shadowpuppet therapist. They have those right? Or do they just get the voodoo doll brothers to stare at bad Shadowpuppets until they apologise for being dicks.

No, that can't be true. Otherwise my sperm donor lunatic of a father would have his own fleet of voodoo dolls dogging him right now.

I probably shouldn't get involved in Blondie and Cap's relationship anyway. Those two have known each other a long time. Its not at all my business how they behave towards each other. But I do have the strange feeling that they might end up involving me against my will. And my better judgement. If I had better judgement. Which I don't. My judgement is pretty much shitty. As proven by my inability to stop myself from becoming entangled with two hopelessly ridiculous men.

"I don't want to fight with you right now, Jace." Cap says with a certain air of authority that you would never hear from an ordinary teenager.

"Yeah, well, maybe I do." Blondie counters, barely restrained aggression filling the air with tension between the two Shadowpuppets.

"You're not thinking straight right now, Jace-" Cap tries, sounding unbearably reasonable. I'd snap too if he used that condescending voice on me. I don't think that says much about my maturity though.

"Fuck that, Alec." Blondie bites out. "I don't need you to be treating me like I'm made of glass all of a sudden. I'm _fine_."

"I'm not gonna start shit with you, Jace." Cap says calmly, but he sounds a little less reasonable now, which is oddly better. "But I know there is zero chance that you're actually okay with what happened today. _No one_ would be okay."

"Don't do that." Blondie runs a hand through his hair with enough force to make it look painful. "Don't look at me like I can't handle myself. I'm not the only one who went through shit today."

"Yeah, I know that." Cap replies. His eyes flash with something just a bit wild. Ferocity? Anguish? His eyes flicker over to me for a few, strained, moments, and I find myself instantly captivated by him once more. It's like there's an invisible tether tying our souls, if there is such a thing, together. Every time one of us tries to pull away, we end up being yanked back together by some unseen force. I would find it frightening if I weren't half convinced that I'm imagining our connection. It just feels too real, too natural, to be something magically manufactured.

Cap goes on with a bit more anger tinging his words. "But you're the only one trying to start a fight with me about it, which is why I'm looking at you like you need to calm the fuck down."

"I just want to talk. You're the one who won't shut up about a fight, Alec." Blondie says acidly. "Is that what _you_ want? For me to blow up and kick your ass around the room for a bit so I can get all of my bottled up 'feelings' out?"

"If I thought one stupid fight could solve all of our problems, Jace, I would throw down with you right now." Cap says. He doesn't seem even a bit ruffled by Blondie's goading, which I think will only make things worse in the long run if this shit continues.

I take some fucking initiative and stand up, careful not to shove a casually dozing Clary off of the sofa. Satan only knows how little sleep she's gotten in the last week or so. I can't begrudge her a short nap on my shoulder. But I can only see the situation going one way between Cap and Blondie right now. South. Cap is right. Blondie is spoiling for a fight, and he probably won't even realise that until some time later. In the meantime, he might end up actually hurting somebody. Even Cap.

"Knock it off you guys." I say to Cap and Blondie. I'm hoping if I include them both in the scolding that Blondie won't lose his rag about it. "We're all tired and frustrated as hell. There's nothing we can say now that we won't be able to say later when our heads are little less fucked up."

Unfortunately, I appear to have miscalculated just how off the rails Blondie is feeling, because he swings around to pierce me a glare so full of violence and rage that I almost flinch.

"You're not actually _part_ of this, Ever. I sure as fuck can't deal with _you_ right now on top of everything else. Just stay out of it." Blondie says all of that like I don't feel exactly the same about him. Like I'm not just as hurt and confused as he is about us being siblings.

I must not be able to keep the shocked devastation off my face, because Cap catches it. His expression goes from mildly cold to fiercely glacier. When Cap speaks he sounds genuinely _pissed_ for the first time since this thing between him and Blondie started.

"You seriously need to back the hell off, Jace. Right now. Take it out on me all you want, but if you fucking talk to her like that again you and me are going to have an actual problem worth fighting about."

Shit, this was not my original goal when I decided to butt my nose in where it wasn't wanted.

Blondie, for some boy-macho related reason, takes Cap's warning as a challenge. His nostrils flare with anger. He looks like a bull, and it seems as if Cap just flapped the red cloth in his face by defending me. Not that I need defending of course, but that isn't really what matters at the moment.

"What is it with you, Alec? I swear, I feel like I barely even know who you are these days." Blondie is seething, but I can tell his fury is mixed up with a lot of confusion and pain. Not just because of our father, but because of whatever problems he's going through with Cap. I don't feel comfortable judging their relationship, especially not after the bullshit of the last couple of days. Part of me thinks that I'm just making things worse for them. For everyone. And I don't have a clue how I can make it right, or fix what I've already wrecked.

Not that it's even about me. Maybe Cap and Blondie are just using their conflict over me as some kind of scapegoat. I genuinely don't know anymore.

"This is the version of me who's sick of trying to prove that I'm not in your shadow, Jace." Cap says with the same measured calmness he uses when he's trying to keep his emotions in check. He looks at Blondie like he's truly tired of it all. But there's also a determined set to his shoulders that I haven't seen before. Cap grips Blondie's shoulders, looks him dead in the eyes, and says, "I love you brother, and I'm here for you no matter what. But I'm done apologising for my choices. I can't just keep following you around forever. It's time we both took responsibility for our own lives, Jace."

Blondie rocks backwards, as if hit by a physical blow. He opens his mouth to respond, but no words come out. Cap seems to take that as answer enough and lets go of Blondie. He leaves the room with one last glance at me.

And so of course I do something stupid. I follow him.

I can't force myself to look at Blondie as I pass him. He's still staring after Cap in stunned silence anyway, so I doubt he even notices.

I catch up with Cap pretty quickly and grab onto his arm so he'll either have to stop or keep walking with me attached like a limpet. Either option would be fine with me.

Cap stops, but only for a moment. He scans the practically deserted hallway before opening a random door and taking hold of my hand. A zing of awareness explodes through my body. Cap strides into an empty room that looks like an abandoned office. He drags me along with him. He closes the door behind us and, God damn, even takes out his stele to draw a locking rune on it to stop anyone from coming inside.

I keep quiet as Cap lets go of my hand and goes to lean against a large mahogany desk. Cap crosses his arms over his chest and finally looks at me properly. My nerve endings still tingle from our skin to skin contact and his gaze causes even my bones to shiver in reaction to his almost inhuman intensity.

I realise rather quickly that I'll probably have to take the lead on this one. Cap used up a lot of his mandated yearly emotion on the semi-fight with Blondie.

I decide to start with a sort-of-safe topic.

"How did you know it was Valentine?"

I can't even fully explain how I knew to be honest. It was more of a feeling, deep down inside, rather than actual knowledge based on fact. Cap surprises me by giving a very similar response.

"It was just something about the way he looked at you. The way he looked at Jace. Something was...off. I could...feel it. Then I realised you felt it too. You may not know much about being a Shadowhunter, but your instincts aren't completely terrible."

Ok, and that last part sounds more like normal Cap to me.

"Wow, thanks. Your faith in my abilities is truly humbling."

Cap very almost cracks a smile. The corners of his lips twitch upwards ever so slightly. It warms me in a way I don't really understand.

"We should have told Jace." Cap says suddenly. His expression is once again one hundred percent serious. He blows out a breathe of what could be exasperation. "Even if we didn't fully know what we were feeling...we still should have warned him."

I know he's right. In theory anyway. But the likelihood that Blondie would have even believed us even if we had told him is incredibly small. He probably would've gotten defensive and angry, and we'd've of ended up with a whole other problem to deal with. And it's not like we're short on those right now. From every fucking angle it seems like.

"Nothing we could have done was going to make much difference." I say, and I'm not even bullshitting this time. "We still would have found out that Blondie is mine and Clary's brother. And that we all have a psycho Dad and a coma ridden Mom. No amount of warning could have made that seem any less fucked up."

Some things are just always going to be shit no matter what.

"I'm afraid that he'll spiral." Cap admits. He looks at me, worry creasing his brows together. "Jace is cracking. I can see it. I can _feel_ it. I know that I need to do something to help him, but I don't know _what_."

"He's not broken, Cap." I say as gently as I'm able to whilst still sounding firm. "And he's not alone in this. Jace has us. Me, you, Clary, Isy, and he'll have our mother too when she wakes up. It may not be the all American dream family or whatever, but it's something."

Cap arches a dark eyebrow at me and mutters dryly,

"Yeah. We're a whole lot of something."

I take a step towards Cap and place a hand on his chest. It feels almost unnaturally warm beneath my palm. I drag my fingers down and they catch in his t-shirt.

Cap's eyes search my face for something I can't interpret. Our gazes lock. Whiskey gold meets cobalt blue.

Cap covers my hand with his. He strokes a thumb over the sensitive underside of my wrist.

"Me and you. Are we something?"

There's a part of me that knows we might be everything.

"Yeah. We are. But hell if I know what."

Another part of me knows I'm insane for even thinking it.

...

Cap leaves shortly after that to track down Isy-tron. She was almost put on the chopping block for helping the sex gnome escape Stone face's custody. Luckily we all showed up just in time to save her with the COD to appease the visiting Clavicle people.

This would be the appropriate moment to slow hand clap. Ready?...GO! Clap! Clap ironically like your lives (metaphorically) depend on it bitches!

Or, if you feel the need to really push yourself, you can flash a couple of sarcastic thumbs up.

I find Blondie sitting by himself outside the room where our mother is still floating in mid air. And no, that sentence doesn't sound any less fucking weird now than it did when we found her hours ago.

Blonide is slumped down on the floor, his back pressed against a stone wall. He looks over at me when I sit down next to him. I pull my knees up to my chest and press my forehead hard against my left knee. A headache is starting to form on one side. I wonder absently if the Shadowpuppets stock any aspirin. Or maybe a pack of cigarettes to take the fucking edge off.

Actually, now that I'm thinking about it...

I poke Blondie's arm. He looks wrecked. I probably look the same way. Despite not actually wanting to be around, let alone talk to, my new secret brother, I find myself asking,

"Wanna go up to the roof and smoke?"

I stole a pack from Luke and hid them up there yesterday. I forgot all about it until now. Thank you past me for having some scary ass foresight.

Blondie looks at me like I've just suggested we go out and hunt a freakin' hippogriff. But he still nods his assent to my offer. Or my suggestion. Or what the fuck ever.

Without another word we both get up, careful not to actually touch each other, and make our way up to the roof.

I grab my stolen pack and lighter from underneath a flower pot and join Blondie where he's settled looking out over the rough stone balcony. I stand next to him, close enough for it to seem normal, but not close enough that our shoulders could brush by accident. Maybe I'm being childish, but I almost feel like if we don't actually acknowledge the physical attraction we once felt for each other, then that means we can pretend it didn't exist in the first place.

Stupid and pointless, I know. It kind of helps a little though. Or at least it helps me. I'm not so sure about Blondie. The obvious heat in his eyes is still there, but it's transformed into something far more guarded and unsure. It wouldn't be fair of me to comment on it though, so I don't. There's plenty of other shit to worry about.

I open up the pack and take out two cigarettes. I'd say to just share one, but that seems weird under the circumstances. Blondie stares hard at the cigarette before taking it from me. He carefully avoids allowing his fingers to touch mine as he takes it. Although that could just be me projecting onto him.

I place my own cigarette between my lips and make quick work of lighting it with a somewhat expert flick of my fingers. I'm not an avid smoker, and of course it's fucking terrible for your health, but so is getting almost attacked by Demons. By this point I'd consider myself lucky if I live long enough to die by something as normal as smoking too much.

I let Blondie light his cigarette using mine, which brings our faces uncomfortably close together. But it only lasts a few seconds before Blondie is pulling away from me again and exhaling a gust of smoke. I don't want to feel awkward as fuck around Blondie. Not like this. But I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that my relationship with Blondie has now gotten even more complicated than it was before.

I blow out a breathe of smoke of my own and try to decide what to say to him. Or if there is actually anything we can say to one another.

Part of me wishes I could give Blondie the fight he so clearly yearned for from Cap earlier. But I'm just too tired for that shit, and I think maybe Blondie is now too.

Apparently Blondie is thinking along similar lines, because he's the one who breaks our mutual silence first.

"I'm sorry for being a dick before."

I throw him a sly look.

"You mean when you were a dick to me, or when you were a dick to your best friend? Because if you meant me, then as far as I'm concerned, we're cool. But if you meant Cap...well...I'm afraid you're gonna have to make up for that one with him. Maybe try talking from somewhere other than out of your own ass."

"I don't know why I fucking pushed him like that." Blondie says after a heavy pause. He's not looking at me. Or least he isn't looking at me when I'm looking at him.

"You were angry. You _are_ angry. And you have every right to be pissed off about certain shit right now. Cap knows that." I say, not as an excuse, but because it's true.

"Yeah. Alec puts up with way too much of my shit." Blondie says, guilt entering his eyes for the first time. "He deserves better."

"No argument here." I say, not unkindly. I look at Blondie, studying his expression for a few seconds before letting my gaze flicker away again. I try to soften my tone. "I think you're being too hard on yourself. And I don't think you're giving Cap enough credit. You both care so much about each other. I can see it in you, the same way I can see it in him. Fuck what Valentine said. You guys are solid. Or at least you are where it counts. Cap would never betray you. It's just not in him."

I tell myself to shut the hell up. It's not like I really know either of them. Not enough to make pronouncements about their relationship anyway.

But instead of getting pissed and telling me to back the fuck off, like I expected him to, Blondie flashes me what could almost be described as a smile.

"You know," Blondie says, and he looks at me. _Really_ looks at me. As if trying to read something he can't quite wrap his mind around. "I think you're the first person outside of me and Isy to ever actually see Alec. People are idiots and they strike Alec off because of his cold front or his family name or whatever-the-fuck else. But you _see_ him. And," Blondie lets out rasping, half mangled laugh, "even weirder, Alec actually _lets you_. He _lets you_ get close to him. And he trusts you in a way it took me _years_ to earn. I can't decide if I'm grateful for that or just really fucking jealous."

I feel my cheeks burn a little in embarrassment. But seriously, how the clip clop is anyone supposed to respond to that?

"Ok, well, now I think you're giving me _too much_ credit." I say, wanting to laugh it off, but also sensing how unnaturally serious Blondie is being.

Blondie opens his mouth as if to argue with me, but then seems to think better of it and keep quiet. He looks away and out over the balcony. I follow his lead.

We stay like that for a while. Just the two of us looking out at the world. I wonder for a moment what it would have been like if we'd grown up together. Me, Clary and Jace. What would it have been like to have an older brother? I think about Simon. He was kind of like my brother. But then again, I've had way too many impure thoughts about Simon to ever really consider him a brother. Of course, I've also kissed Blondie so...yeah, I really don't want to go down that road right now.

If the whole 'Jace being my brother' thing was the only issue here, and lets be honest, that's enough of an issue to be getting on with, I would probably invite Blondie out to go drinking with me. We'd get drunk, have a few laughs, get the hell over ourselves for at least one night. But Clary would beat me to death if I did that. Plus all the Shadowpuppet nonsense kind of puts a damper on the idea.

I think I'll just have to shelve that one for a later date.

...

The morning after our daring rescue and subsequent mind fuck session with Valendouche, Maggie the magnificent texted to say that he might have some info about how to wake up my mother, or where to find my bastard of a father.

Cap asked me to come along with him instead of Blondie, a fact that did not go unnoticed by...well...everyone. Despite my conversation with Blondie on the roof last night, there was still some tension hanging in the air between Blondie and Cap this morning, and so yet again I was used as a buffer. I'm getting pretty sick of it to be honest. I might end up just knocking their heads together if they keep being stubborn.

Cap and I went to collect Maggie and brought him back to the Institute. Now we're having a mini meeting that consists mainly of awkward half stares and painfully long silences. I'm close to ripping my own hair out just to have something to concentrate my frustration on.

"Well," Magnus suddenly pipes up, "as much fun as it is to sit here whilst a group of teenagers stare blankly at each other like goldfish, can we please move this thing along?"

I raise a hand.

"Seconded."

"Thirded." Isy-tron says, throwing both her hands up.

Cap, Clary and Blondie all throw out disdainful looks at me, Isy-tron and Magnus. I flip them the bird, not even attempting to hide my frustration. If the three of them are gonna be assholes, then I don't see any reason to pretend like I'm having a particularly good time.

Magnus waves a hand uncaringly.

"I still don't understand why we couldn't have this little...get together at my place. At least there we'd have cocktails."

"I agree, we should stayed at Magnus. He has the good bourbon." I say forlornly.

Clary assaults my arm with one her giant man hands. I swear her hands are bigger than mine even though we're twins. We are non-identical hand twins. I bet she good knock someone's teeth out with those things.

"Can you just take one thing seriously?" Clary admonishes me. "This is important."

I turn another blank stare on her.

"I don't see how me complimenting Magnus on his fine taste in bourbon makes anything going on around here any less serious or important."

Magnus smiles invitingly at me.

"Thank you for the compliment, Ever, you are welcome to stop by any time for a drink."

"Rest assured," I say to Magnus, "I will definitely be taking you up on that."

Blondie clears his throat and speaks louder than he technically needs to. He also keeps shooting covert glances at Cap, who is slumped down in his seat next to me looking like he wishes he could be somewhere that isn't here right now. I share the sentiment wholeheartedly.

"We invited you here, Magnus, because Hodge can't leave the Insitute and he's an important part of our mission."

"Ah, so where is our homestead hermit? Late? To his own meeting? Surely not." Magnus drawls in a bored tone of voice.

As if Magnus summoned the man like a Demon, Hodge suddenly appears from behind us. Having apparently heard Magnus' comments, Hodge says,

"I'm right here Magnus, I was following up on a lead."

Ohhh, a lead. I am now officially riveted.

Just. Fucking. Riveted.

FEEL MY RIVETS!

Hodge walks around the table to stand in front of one of our big Shadow screens. He gestures at it.

"Now, we've narrowed down our list of Warlocks to these three."

Hodge taps the screen and three faces appear. They all have the defining marks of a Warlock.

"Why is Ragnor Fell up there?" Magnus asks indignantly, "He's not more powerful than I am."

"Well, some would disagree." Hodge says non-plussed. "He is older than you."

"Certainly not wiser." Magnus replies darkly.

I poke Magnus and ask,

"Which one is Ragnor Fell?"

Magnus points to a grey haired man with to shorn off horns on his forehead. I peer a little closer at the picture and say,

"He looks like Hell Boy's grandpa."

"Only you would say that one of the most powerful Warlocks in the world looks like anyone's grandfather." Cap says, shaking his head at me.

I point at Cap with flourish.

"Hey, that's a compliment. Everyone likes grandpas. Plus, Hell boy is badass."

"Who is Ragnor Fell?" Clary asks, attempting to bring us back on track. Good luck with that one is all I'll say.

"The former high Warlock of London." Blondie says.

"And one of my oldest friends." Magnus adds hesitantly. "He's a bit...difficult. Likes his own space, that one does."

"Okay, look, we just need to figure out which one of these Warlocks had enough access to Jocelyn that they could create the potion for her without anyone discovering what they'd done." Hodge summarises.

Magnus explains to us how my mother knew Ragnor Fell when he was a professor in Idris during the nineties. He also theorised that the reason Ragnor had been ignoring his fire calls was because he knew what Magnus would be asking about.

"We'll have to confront him face to face." Magnus says.

"Wait, you're coming?" I ask, excitedly and quite suddenly revitalised. At least with Magnus along with us I won't have to worry about Clary bitching me out or Blondie giving me longing looks or Cap being...well, himself to the point of maddening me.

"Of course. I can't let you go running off to talk to Ragnor alone. He can get quite grumpy when disturbed." Magnus says.

"Hold on...we're not all going are we?" Blondie asks, looking a bit horrified by the prospect.

"Well I'm going." Clary says firmly. "I feel like I've missed way too much. I need to do this to help my mother."

"Is opting out something I'm actually allowed to do now?" I ask dryly. "Can I go sit on the bench and let Clary throw the metaphorical danger ball around for a while?"

Both Cap and Blondie pin me with stares of equal intensity and I just about burst into flames right there in my seat.

"Look," Isy-tron says with an exasperated sigh. "me, Clary and Magnus will go and talk to Ragnor Fell. You two," her eyes dart between Blondie and Cap, "stay here and sort out whatever stupid argument you two had last night." Isy-tron's gaze lands on me next and she adds far too sweetly, "Ever, you can play referee. Make sure nobody gets too hurt."

Damn that evil gnome lover!


	17. End Of The Line-ish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do NOT own Shadowhunters. Or The Mortal Instruments. The only thing I own in this fic is my character 'Ever'.
> 
> Please read A/N! Very important. So write that down on your important pad for things that are extremely important.

So, good news first. There's a way to wake up my mother. We just need the book of the White to be able to find the cure.

And as for the bad news...Ragnor was killed by a Shax demon before he could give Clary, Isy-tron and Magnus the thing we would need to be able to find the book of the White.

On balance, things aren't looking all that great. But, to be fair, they're looking better than when we had no leads at all. I'm trying very hard not to emo out completely and write terrible song lyrics about how unfair life is when you're a teenager in the middle of a bullshit war.

My emo teen angst song would be both haunting and ridiculous simultaneously.

I've taken my frustration with absolutely everything out on Cap and Blondie by locking them in a closet until they stop being moody bitches and make up already. I ceiled the door shut with runes and everything. They can seriously just stay in there until one of them breaks, hopefully Blondie, and apologises. I'm not even totally sure what they're upset with each other about anymore.

God, boys are so stupid. I don't know why we bother allowing them to live amongst the rest of us in the first place.

I go into the room next to the closet and draw another rune that I learnt from one of my Mom's old books. It allows me to hear what Cap and Blondie are saying through the wall. Convenient as hell folks, I know.

At first they're just banging against the door being completely useless by yelling my name and threatening me with things if I don't open the door. Yeah, like I give a shiz. Those para-towel-bubble idiots like me way too much to hurt me. Of that I am assured. Even if everything else is too complicated for words.

Meanwhile Isy-tron and Clary find me in my secret spy room and don't hesitate to join me on the floor so that they can listen in as well. Isy-tron even draws a rune on the wall that makes it see through. Kind of like those one way windows in an interrogation room. Isy-tron and I high five to our team effort of epic nosiness.

Once Blondie and Cap finally realise that I'm not letting them out just because they shout loud enough or kick the door like three years olds enough times, they sit down next to each other on the floor. Neither of them speak for a long time and I begin to wonder if they know that only married couples are supposed to give each other the silent treatment.

Eventually though, Blondie mans up and turns his head to look at Cap.

"I'm sorry." Blondie says, and he actually sounds like he means it.

Cap takes in a deep breathe and then lets it out again before replying steadily,

"I know." Cap turns his own head to look directly at Blondie. "There's been a lot of drama lately."

Yep, and most of it's been my fault. Not that anyone's keeping score or anything. Or at least hopefully they aren't.

Blondie actually laughs then. It's a choked, half bitten off sound, but still...a laugh is a laugh. I feel a spark of hope come to life inside my chest.

"Yeah." Blondie says, ducking his head slightly. "I mean...you made an honest to God friend. What could be more dramatic than that?"

Cap rolls his eyes and counters,

"Um, how about you having two sisters."

Blondie actually groans at that and ducks his head even further between his knees.

"Don't even get me started on that."

There's a long pause where Cap just watches Blondie carefully, waiting for something. I realise that I'm waiting for something too. I just don't know what. Maybe Cap doesn't know either.

Blondie's head pops up again and he presses it back against the wall behind him. His eyes are closed and he swallows hard.

"I kissed her." Blondie says on an uneven breathe.

Cap makes a non-committal sound, but his expression hardens into something unreadable. He's concealing his true reactions and emotions. It's starting to drive me crazy when he does that.

Blondie opens his eyes and stares straight ahead, a look of something like dismay on his face.

"What's worse, I actually _wanted_ her." Blondie says brokenly. "I wanted her more than I've ever wanted anything. I think...I think I was falling for her, Alec."

Pain tightens into a ball inside of me, and an uncomfortable feeling gnaws at my heart. I don't know how the hell to process what Blondie is saying. It feels too raw, too fragile, too achingly real. I'm not equipped to deal with any of this emotional shit like a rational human being.

I can feel Clary looking at me curiously, but I can't bring myself to look away from Blondie and Cap.

"I must be sick or something." Blondie says, his jaw clenched hard enough to hurt.

"No." Cap immediately protests. I'm glad that he did or I would have had to and that would have been awkward. Cap places a hand on Blondie's arm gently. "You're not sick, Jace. This whole situation has just been...confusing...for all of us."

Biggest understatement of the freakin' year.

Cap looks away from Blondie again and keeps talking like he needs to get the words out before he loses the nerve, or the chance gets taken from him.

"You know, it's like, you have this plan for your life, right, and you know what you need to do and what your responsibilities are. You've accepted that you'll do what needs to be done and that you'll never meet anyone who..." Cap takes another deep breathe before continuing, "...but then you **_do_** meet someone. And that someone pushes you to be yourself in a way that you didn't even know you were capable of. That person...that person makes you see things differently...and you start to wonder...what it would be like to have something for yourself...something worth putting everything else on the line for..."

"Hey," Blondie says, in a somewhat reassuring tone, "I get it."

Blondie and Cap lock eyes then and they both seem to struggling with something. Blondie with what to say, and Cap with what emotions to actually reveal.

After a strained moment though, Cap says,

"The point is, we're Shadowhunters. Feelings like love just...get in the way."

"Only if you can't have the person you want, Alec." Blonde says knowingly. "If you actually have a chance to be with that person, then...the only one who can get in the way of that...is your own fear."

"Could you sound any more like a fortune cookie right now?" Cap teases, although his expression is troubled.

"Shut up." Blondie laughs, punching Cap lightly on the arm. "If I'm a cookie then I'm a badass cookie."

"The only thing you are is an idiot." Cap says dryly. "'Badass cookie'." He scoffs. "You've been spending too much time with Ever."

"I don't think you're one to talk about spending too much time with Ever, Alec." Blondie arches an eyebrow at Cap, obviously implying more than what he's actually saying.

"Ever is insanity personified. It's not my fault she's decided to stalk me." Cap frowns to himself.

Blondie laughs again at that.

"Oh right, so Ever's the one doing the stalking now?"

Cap glares at Blondie, blue eyes flashing.

"I don't stalk Ever."

"Nah." Blondie shakes his head mockingly. "You just follow her around like you're her unofficial bodyguard."

"So did you." Cap snaps defensively.

Blondie gives Cap a calculating stare and says,

"Well yeah, but that's mainly because I was insanely attracted to her. Then I just really, really, liked her. What's your excuse?"

"I didn't realise I needed an excuse to care about someone." Cap replies stiffly.

Blondie snorts in amusement before realising that Cap actually appears serious. His eyebrows climb higher and higher as he takes in Cap's agitated expression and uncomfortable body language. He smirks just a little and nudges Cap.

"Oh so you do care about Ever? Finally admitting it are you? Are you gonna break up with me now and give Ever my half of our friendship bracelets?"

Cap makes a face and asks,

"What's a friendship bracelet?"

"Bro, you really need to get out more." Blondie says, still smirking.

Blondie and Cap share a smile that looks so fucking genuine that it makes me feel guilty for seeing it without their permission. I shuffle backwards, away from the wall and get to my feet.

"I've missed a lot." Clary says, staring up at me, a suspicious frown creasing her face. "What have you not been telling me?"

"Don't feel bad." Isy-tron says to Clary, a small smirk dancing across her lips. "I've been here the whole time and I still feel like I've missed something."

"I have no idea what you two people are blathering on about." I say, holding my hands up defensively. "I'm just the back up twin really. Clary's the special snow flake. I'm just, like, a hail stone or some shit."

Clary and Isy-tron both give me looks of 'what the frak', which I ignore.

"Come on weirdoes, lets get out of here." I say, and without waiting for a response from my girl posse, I stride out of the room.

I decide to let Cap and Blondie stay in their closet, and no, the irony of that has not escaped my notice. But I'm going to be tactful for once and not make any gay closet jokes.

Without a clue of what else to do, I escape the institute with the goal of heading over to Maggie the magnificent's not-so-evil lair for drinks/riffling through Ragnor's shit. Not literally obviously. Just his stuff. Although you never really know with Warlocks, they probably hide all kinds of shady crap in their manor houses of doom.

I have also taken the liberty of kidnapping Simon from his new Cullen-esque fang family. He puts up a fuss, but I quickly reassure him that our next mission is going to be at least moderately safe. If you can call going to Magnus' lair to look through a dead Warlock's pilfered stuff safe.

I managed to coax Clary into coming along as well, with promises of me behaving like I give a damn about our situation in a normal and not at all insane way. That is of course a lie. I shall be doing no such thing. Isy-tron didn't need much convincing to come with us to Magnus'. I don't really think Isy-tron needs much convincing to do anything as long as it's not boring. Or legal.

"I can't believe I've allowed my home to be invaded by Shadowhunters _again_." Magnus exclaims dramatically once we're all seated in his sparkly lounge, which more accurately resembles a drag queens den than an actual lounge.

"Well, technically," I say, "Simon is a vampire, and Clary and I only really make up half a Shadowhunter in terms of knowledge or skill. So one and half Shadowhunters can't really be considered an invasion."

"And with that, you just proved yourself far too sober for my current state of mind." Magnus says. He pours me a drink of the good whiskey and hands over the rather large class. He grins slyly at me. "What should we talk about boys and girls? I'm feeling a bit too maudlin after today's events. Someone distract me with pointless Shadowhunter gossip."

I try to disappear, or turn invisible. The last thing I want to do is talk about myself or anything related to the casual mind fuckary that is my life.

But Isy-tron isn't very good at reading signals apparently because she leans forward with a dangerous sparkle in her eyes and says,

"I want to talk about what Ever's deal is with my brother."

Clary, Magnus and Simon all sit forward with interest at that and I silently curse every single one of them. Twice.

I hide behind my drink and mutter not at all suspiciously,

"There is no deal. Captain dream boat is my new bestie. Simple as. End of. Next topic please."

"Do I have to say the thing about a lady who doth protest too much?" Isy-tron asks, arching a sardonic eyebrow at me.

I resist the urge to poke my tongue out at her. Because I am a mature human thingy. And also because I have a mouthful of whiskey in the way.

Simon scrunches up his nose. It's cute. And very unvampiric. If Simon wants to hang out with the cool Blade/Dracula vampires he's gonna have to step it up a notch.

"I thought Alec was... _you know_." Simon makes a wavy hand gesture that means nothing to anyone.

Apart from apparently Magnus.

"I was also under the impression that Alec is more...inclined to appreciate the male form rather than the female. Although, I suppose he could be on the pansexual scale instead." Magnus says thoughtfully.

"I'm just sayin'." Simon tilts his head suggestively. "I definitely saw Alec check out my ass at least once."

I snort into my glass and almost choke on the whiskey in my mouth. I reach over and pat Simon's shoulder.

"I don't see what Cap looking at your face has to do with his sexuality, Si."

"Ass, Ev's, I said ass, not face." Simon grouses.

"Not really sure it makes a difference in your case, Si." I quip easily.

"You're a mean little person." Simon pouts at me.

"Yeah, well, so's your face." I say. "And your little ass too."

"Oh jeez, you two aren't gonna get in _another_ ass vs face bitch fight are you?" Clary groans, giving both me and Simon looks of dread.

"There have been multiple arguments about this?" Isy-tron asks, looking a little bit fascinated and even more disturbed.

"You have no idea." Clary says, rolling her eyes.

Simon ignores them both and merely scoffs. He leans over to poke my arm.

"Hey, I have a great ass. All those guys on Grindr said so when you set me up a profile last year."

Oh my ice cream Gods, that was _hilarious_.

I was so drunk when I did that. At the time I thought it was the best joke in the world ever. Because when you're drunk absolutely **everything** is the best joke in the world ever.

"Except for that one guy who sent _'AVGN on the prowlllll'_. What the hell does that even mean?" I ask no one in particular.

"'AVGN' means 'Angry Video Game Nerd'." Magnus says nonchalantly.

"How the fuck do you even know that?" Simon gapes at Magnus.

"Bitch please." I say, smacking Simon over the head. "It's Magnus. He knows everything."

"Truth." Isy-tron says, nodding a bit too enthusiastically.

I think that might be her third drink already.

"I have a question." Simon says, raising his hand. Because fangs or no fangs, Simon is still a major dork. "Your name is Magnus, right?" Simon points at Magnus.

I slap his hand.

"Si, don't point. Especially not at Warlocks who can probably sell you on the black market if you disrespect them."

Simon ignores my warning and continues to point. He's such a daredevil.

"Yes, vampire boy." Magnus says slowly, as if speaking to a dumb child, which is pretty much the case, "My name is Magnus."

"Yeah, but, like...Magnus _what_?" Simon asks, scrunching his nose up again in contemplation. "What's your last name?"

"Nothing. I am Magnus. Just Magnus." Magnus answers with an almost theatrical lilt to his voice.

Simon makes a disbelieving noise.

"Who are you, Madonna?"

" _Black market Si."_ I hiss under my breathe at him.

Simon lightly pushes my arm. He makes one of his ultra stubborn panda faces and stage whispers,

"Leave off, Ever, I'm talking to Lady Gaga right now. Wait your turn."

I groan inwardly and slap my forehead. Oh, Christ, here we go.

"I think baby vamp is having trouble handling his alcohol content." Magnus says, sounding a cross between mildly amused and exasperated. He tilts his head towards Simon's large half empty glass.

Simon's never been able to hold his liquor. I thought him becoming a vampire might change that, but it appears not. Simon's face is open and his expression is more carefree than I've seen in a while. Of course dying and coming back to life is bound to have a morose affect on a person, even a person as lighthearted as Simon.

I remember the first time Simon and I ever got drunk together. We were fourteen and Simon had stolen a bottle of vodka from his Grandfather's liquor cabinet. Because apparently people who aren't living inside of old black and white movies and Law and Order TV shows still have those.

My Mom and Clary had gone out to some kind of art show that night. Even though it was never expressively talked about, it was always clear to me that Clary felt closer to our Mom than I probably ever would. It wasn't like our Mom loves me less, we just didn't have as much in common. Sometimes things are what they are and I accepted that a long time ago. I didn't have much choice unless I wanted to become one of those pissed off and bitter teenagers who hate the world and blame it for every single thing they don't like.

Simon and I shared the bottle of Vodka and decided to forgo using glasses. There was a brief use of coffee mugs though. That's when you know you've gone too far; when you're drinking straight Vodka out of a pink spotted coffee mug the likes of which you haven't seen outside an episode of 'Friends'.

My Mom found me and Simon led down on the roof of our apartment building with an almost empty bottle of Vodka on the floor next to us. Simon was either laughing or crying about something, possibly his awful new haircut, and I was making slurred philosophical statements about stars and friendship and pigeons (yeah, I still don't know how pigeons got in there), and not giving a hoot about how pissed my Mom was.

I was grounded for a month after that 'stunt'. Clary was half pissed that we got drunk without her and the other half glad she hadn't been caught out with us. She's a God damn floating voter waiting to happen that one is.

"Yeah, he's always been a lightweight." I say to Magnus, rolling my eyes over at Simon.

"Ever! Stop telling Pink all of my secrets!" Simon whispers very loudly at me. In fact it's more of a shout, but I can tell he thinks he's whispering by the look on his face. That's his too drunk to know he's actually yelling look. I know it well. Probably too well actually now that I think about it.

"Ok, that's kinda cute." Isy-tron says, smirking at Simon. She looks over at Clary, who meets the other girls' eyes and gives her a dry, almost apologetic, smile.

"He is cute." Clary agrees, and then more seriously, "And ridiculous. The pair of them are when they get together."

"I protest that assertion." Simon squints through a drunken haze at my sister. To be honest I'm just impressed that he can even still say the word 'assertion' without tripping over all the vowels.

"Yes," I say, "but the real question is; can you spell it?"

Now there's just no way. A drunk Simon can't even spell his name without adding in a silent 'f' or 'w' or '7'. I never know where he gets the '7' from.

Clary knows this and watches Simon with amusement equal to my own as he struggles to sort out if 'assertion' starts with an 'a' or a 'b'. I'm not even sure if he's trying to spell the same word anymore after about five minutes.

Isy-tron and Clary are giggling together on the opposite sofa at a babbling Simon when Magnus suddenly gets to his feet. He looks at me once and gives me a barely there nod towards the empty balcony. I stand up as well and follow him outside. I'm surprised by the sudden gust of wind, and find myself decidedly more clear headed after a few moments of breathing in fresh air. Or as fresh as the air in this city ever gets.

Magnus leans on his balcony, drink still in hand. I do the same, leaning next to him with my arms resting on the balcony railing. I realise this is the second time I'm hanging over a balcony whilst giving into a vice. And I have a feeling the conversation I'm about to have with Magnus will be somewhat similar to the one I had with Blondie in terms of tension.

"That Warlock, Ragnor," I say to Magnus, "he was your friend, right?"

"Yes." Magnus admits after a long silence. "For a long time. Ragnor and I had known each other for many years." I hear the pain in his voice. The sort of pain one only hears when speaking about the loss of an old friend. It's the kind of sadness that wears you down to a fine point and then breaks through the thick skin you grew to resist feeling much of anything.

"I'm sorry that we got you and your friend involved in our Shadowpuppet business." Because that's all I can really be sorry about.

"The actions of Shadowhunters are everyone's business." Magnus replies readily. He looks at me with a gaze of pure iron. "I've known many Shadowhunters in my life, Everlyna Fairchild, but few have ever caught my interest. The Nephilim are...strange beings. They are prone to outlandish acts of bravery, and can feel tremendous loyalty to those who they fight alongside."

"Do you mean the whole para-bait-tree thing?" I ask, my sense of curiosity (cough nosiness cough) piqued.

Magnus arches an eyebrow at me. He appears amused again. And yet not at the same time.

"I assume you mean parabatai. Ever, you do have the most peculiar way of naming the things that belong only to Shadowhunters."

"I'm still getting used to it...all." I say, letting out a breathe. 'All'. I'm not sure how else to describe the dramatic changes that have rocked my world to the very edge and forced me to shine a light on a world I could only ever see before out of the corner of my eye.

"Parabatai." I murmur, using the real word for once. It tastes funny on my tongue. Like it has some kind of very old and very powerful magic attached to it. Hell, for all I know, maybe it does. Is the magic of the Nephilim like any other kind of magic? Is it even magic at all? I meet Magnus' steady gaze. "I still don't quite understand it. I know Alec and Jace are Parabatai. They love each other. I can see the truth of what they are so clearly that it almost blinds me. I sometimes feel as if I shouldn't even be able to look, let alone actually _see_."

Magnus draws in a deep breathe, his expression darkening.

"I know parabatai." He says. "I've known parabatai so close they were almost the same person."

If that's true, then what must it be like to lose your parabatai? Is it even comparable to anything else that exists in this world? Is that pain, so raw and unhealable, completely unique and something not to be understood by someone without a parabatai?

But then, Valentine and Luke were once parabatai.

"My dick of a father and Luke." I say to Magnus. He gives me a look as if to say 'go on', and so I do. "They loved each other once. They formed a bond unlike any other. A bond that was meant to last forever. But it didn't. Valentine betrayed Luke."

"Ah." Magnus replies gravely. "Valentine and your Luke lost sight of what they were meant to be."

"Because...because of my Mom." I say slowly.

"The love of a woman tore them apart, yes." Magnus waves a hand with majestic flare. "I've seen it happen many times before."

"So two men fall in love with the same women, and whatever love they had between them suddenly doesn't mean anything anymore." I say doubtfully. I don't like the idea of that.

"No." Magnus says caustically. "Not always. I've seen parabatai fall in love with the same woman and still remain loyal to each other till death. They loved with everything they had and the girl loved them more so for loving each other as deeply as they did."

"Who were they?" I ask, enticed by the story of three people who didn't allow themselves to be torn apart or divided despite their conflicting love for one another.

Magnus smiles just a little, his lips tugging upwards ever so slightly. It's a wistful smile, not a happy one. The smile is aimed at me, but I know it isn't actually _because_ of me. When Magnus speaks, his words are soft, but tinged with the sharp edges of a warm blade.

"Maybe one day I'll tell you about them."

And on that day, if it ever comes, maybe I'll be able to understand the how and why of it for myself.

...

More good news and bad news. Good news, we have a new lead on the book of the White. Bad news, vampzilla a.k.a Camille has it. Magnus found the right object and used it to track whoever had possession of the book. I even tried using my new weird-ass powers to see the memories hidden inside the object. But my visions, if that's what they are, weren't very clear. Magnus says if I keep practicing then maybe I'll see something more helpful, but I doubt it.

After all that I went back to the Institute with Clary and Isy-tron. It was only then that I remembered having left Blondie and Cap locked up in that closet. I ran to let them out. Well. Alright. I walked briskly. There may have been skipping and some random hop scotch moments. But I think that was the whiskey talking.

Blondie and Cap were not happy bunnies when I released them from their mop and bucket prison. They were stroppy tortoises about it actually, what with their deeply evident and newly resolved man angst.

Cap stomped off to 'train', with his sister running after him, probably in an attempt to have some kind of meaningful talk. Good luck to her on that front.

I go to watch over my mother with Luke for a while. We don't need to speak, which I'm grateful for right now. At least of my relationships with a guy is normal. Although, with the way Luke keeps looking at my Mom, and in recent light of his admission about loving her, I have a feeling our relationship could change soon. At least in the technical sense.

After a while I go to see where Clary has disappeared off to. I find her in our shared room. With Blondie. I feel almost as if I'm intruding on a private moment when I walk in. It doesn't take much detective work on my part to work out what's going on in here. Blondie is holding our Mom's box of his old baby stuff. I showed it to Clary earlier, and briefly mentioned letting Blondie know about it's existence.

Clary and Blondie are both sitting on the end of my bed and I decide against joining them. I lean against the door frame instead. Like a Boss.

"Jonathan Christopher." Blondie says, indicating at the lid of the now closed box. I scrunch my nose up in confusion before realising what he must mean. The initials 'J.C' are worked into the lid of the box.

"Your full name?" I ask.

Blondie nods almost absently.

"I know all this is hard to believe." Clary says, her eyes darting between me and Blondie with a knowing edge that makes me feel even more uncomfortable. "And I know there are some things you guys aren't telling me." That statement is pointed at me. Clary fixes her gaze on Blondie for the next part. "But you should know, Jace, that our mother loved you. She carried you with her every single day."

Blondie looks at Clary then, and I can't see the expression on his face. I think for a moment that maybe Clary and Jace can have a real brother and sister relationship some day, even if things will always be too weird between me and Jace. Despite everything, I wouldn't ever want to take away that chance. Jace deserves the opportunity to know his mother and his other sister.

"Thank you." Blondie says to Clary, and he might even mean it. His eyes swing around to pin me with an oppressive stare. "Can I talk to you a minute, Ever?"

The word 'alone' is implied, and Clary doesn't miss it. She sends me a questioning look and I shrug at her as subtly as I can manage with Blondie still staring holes into my skull.

Clary's expression tightens into one of concern, but she doesn't argue with either of us. Instead she just gets up and leaves the room, stopping at the doorway to give me one last curious once over before leaving me and Blondie alone in the room.

I slowly make my way over to the bed and take the space my sister just vacated next to Blondie. There's a long silence before Blondie finally speaks.

"I don't know who I am anymore."

I want to ask him who the hell he thought he was before, but that doesn't seem like it would help.

"There's darkness in me." Blondie goes on. His eyes are hard and flinty. "It's always been there."

"There's a capacity for darkness in everyone." I say, before any more of this anti-hero Batman talk can continue. He reach out and touch Blondie's hand, even though I know that's probably a terrible idea. He looks at me, and our eyes lock properly for the first time since things became unbearable between us. "Don't hog all the bad mojo to yourself. If this is about our father, then...if you're innately bad then so am I. We can be secretly evil together, ok. There's no need to go off and become our father's glorified second in command, yeah? You get me?"

Blondie shakes his head, but doesn't move away from my touch even as he argues.

"But he's my father. Maybe I belong with him. I'm not a good person. I don't feel like one."

"Yeah, well." I say in frustration. "What's 'good' anyway? You just gotta...do what you can, Jace. That's all any of us can do. Take life's bullshit as it comes and just keep moving forward. Trust me, you're not like Valentine. He betrayed his parabatai, which is something you'd never do. Valentine used his power and influence to hurt people, and all you've done since I met you is try to help people. Me, Clary, our mother, Simon. Even if you never believe a single other word I say, then, please, believe this; we can work things out together. You, me, Clary, Isy, Alec. We're Nephilim, God damn warrior angels and all that shit. I'm willing to stand up and fucking fight, but I need you guys to stand up with me if we're gonna win. I need you, Jace. And if you want, you can need me too."

And hells yeah, that turned into a fucking speech worthy of a Braveheart sequel.

Blondie just stares at me for a long time. I start to worry when I realise he isn't blinking. Unless that's a Shadowhunter thing. Maybe they teach staring classes or something. At this point, I would not be even a little bit surprised of they did.

Blondie's mouth creases into a what could be a smile, but definitely isn't. He lets out a short bark of laughter though. It isn't exactly a humorous laugh, but I'll take it.

"I can't imagine my world without you in it anymore." Blondie says with a raw kind of honesty. "But even after everything, when I see you, I want to touch you and protect you and be around you in a way I know I can't because you're my _sister_. I'm afraid those two conflicting facts will haunt me for the rest of my life."

I don't tell him, because I can't, because it wouldn't help, because some things are just better left unsaid...that I'm afraid of the exact same thing.

...

"How's Stoneface?" I ask Cap.

"Better." Cap says, his eyes sliding over me like the whisper of finger tips across my skin. I grit my teeth to hold back a shiver. This really isn't the time.

The COD is missing. Apparently Hodge attacked Lydia and stole the COD from her. We can only assume he gonna hand it over to Valendouche, if he hasn't done so already. We watched footage taken from all over the Institute. It showed pretty clearly how the Forsaken attack was just a ruse for delivering a ring to Hodge that would help him break the circle rune on his neck. There was also a video of him attacking Lydia and taking the cup.

Altogether it seems like a very screwy situation. Isy-tron, Cap and Blondie are pissed that Hodge would betray them like that after all the years they'd known and trusted him.

If Valendouche gets the COD then he'll use it try and create more Shadowhunters for his army. Thousands could die before the war even starts.

Blondie gets that dangerous look on his face that tells me straight off that he's gonna do something reckless and stupid. I'm proven right when he starts packing weapons, ready to go after Hodge and Valentine without any kind of plan in place. Cap is with him, packing weapons too, and it makes me want to smack them both.

Clary and Isy-tron are both still sitting at the computer and talking things over like two sane people who don't want to die.

"Blondie, what are you doing?"

Blondie barely spares me a glance.

"Every second we waste here, Hodge gets closer to Valentine."

"It's been hours. Hodge had probably already given Valentine the COD." I say, trying not to sound desperate.

"Then we'll take the Cup back from Valentine." Blondie says, as if it's that simple. Idiot.

"Oh, what, just the two of you?" I ask sarcastically. "What are you gonna do, knock Valentine over the head with your broody glare and skip away with the COD? We need to think about this carefully. We might only get one shot."

Blondie slams his hand down hard on the weapons table and pierces me with a fierce stare.

"All of this is happening because I didn't kill Valentine when I should have. I need to make this right."

I groan and grab my head in my hands. I look imploringly at Cap, who has been mysteriously silent so far for some reason.

"Cap, help me out here." There's no way Mr Lets Do Everything By the Book is ok with just saying 'fuck it' and running off after Hodge.

Cap looks at me then, cool blue eyes like ice filling my veins. He raises a hand, as if to touch me, but then snatches that hand back. He shakes his head, and averts his gaze away from me.

"We'll be alright, Ever. Just stay here and we'll come back with the Cup."

Oh my flip flop, is everyone determined to piss me off today?

"Fine." I say, making it clear just how God damn furious I am. "If you're determined to run off like crazy idiots, then I'm coming with you."

" ** _No_**." Cap and Blondie say at the same time. They both stop packing to look at me. Stubbornness sets their shoulders and expressions. It might seem intimidating to anyone else, but if they think I'm going to sit back and let them go off by themselves without me then they're even stupider that I thought. And I already thought they were pretty fucking stupid to start with.

"Too bad." I say fiercely. "You guys go, I go. Deal breaker moment here, assholes."

Cap and Blondie exchange another few of their patented Shadowhusband looks. I resist the urge to roll my eyes. Barely.

Eventually Cap relents and nods once at me, still avoiding looking directly at me. Blondie makes a grunting sound of anger and acknowledgement. Well boo fucking hoo. Whatever issues they have with me they'll just have to get over, because I'm not backing down this time.

We pack our weapons in broody and exasperated silence and head out together. I say a brief goodbye to Clary and Isy-tron. Clary promises to continue looking for the book of the White with Isy-tron and Simon's help. I pull her into a short hug and leave the Institute with Cap and Blondie.

I call Luke to ask him if he can get his fluffy friends to track down Hodge. If we're really, really, REALLY, lucky, then maybe Hodge still has the COD and we can just mug him all easy-like.

...

It doesn't take long to find Hodge in an abandoned skate park. The sky is black and the world around us is thrown into Shadow. Everything seems more sinister at night.

Before either Cap or I can intervene, Blondie has Hodge pinned up against a wall. Cap grabs hold of my arm when I try to move closer to both Hodge and Blondie. I dart a glare up at Cap, but he just shakes his head at me. I grit my teeth and back off, keeping close to Cap's side. Cap does not let go of my arm, and I don't ask him to. His hand feels like a brand even through our clothing.

"Where is it?" Blondie snarls in Hodge's face.

"Jace." Hodge gasps, his eyes full of regret, which can only mean one thing. "I'm afraid it's too late. Valentine already has the Cup."

Fuck that fucking Cup. Seriously.

Blondie lets out a growl of pure rage and hits Hodge. Hodge ducks the hit and spins around, using the momentum to loosen Blondie's grip on him. Blondie doesn't hesitate to attack and the two Shadowpuppets briefly spar in a blur of motion that would not be possible for ordinary humans.

"Why?" Blondie finally bursts out, betrayal evident in his voice.

"It was the only way to get my freedom." Hodge says, his breathes low and panted. "I've been caged long enough."

"Caged?" Blondie says incredulously. "You were our teacher. We treated you like family. We loved you!"

"Family?" Hodge spits out, and I wince at the venom he puts behind the word, making it sound like a curse.

Cap stiffens beside me and I raise my free hand to grip his bicep. I wish I had reassuring words for him, but I don't. I can only remember what it felt like when I thought Luke had betrayed me and Clary. It had been like slicing into an open wound. I don't think there are words in existence that can make that feel any less awful.

"The Lightwoods cut a deal, Jace." Hodge grounds out angrily. "They had me punished for crimes they themselves had committed. Don't you see? I was a prisoner!"

Oh, for fucks sake.

"Ok, enough of this bullshit." I say into the open silence of thick tension swamping the air. "Either someone kick his ass, or I will."

"You have one hell of a mouth on you, kid." Hodge says to me.

I shrug one shoulder and sniff at him.

"It's been said."

By many an asshole.

Blondie takes advantage of Hodge's distraction by attacking him. From there, Hodge and Blondie get into a pretty epic beatdown. It's clear that both of them are talented fighters, and I honestly don't know which of them will ultimately come out on top. Not like it matters. Blondie has me and Cap for backup, not to mention Luke when he finally shows up. I'm just kind of hoping that Blondie will burn out some of the rage building inside of him.

It gets to a point where Hodge is on the ground and weapon-less. I figure Blondie will stop now, but he surprise the shit out of me, and Cap I think, by swinging his blade down and taking off Hodge's hand. I suck in a gasp and shove at Cap.

"Go, stop him, now!" I shout.

I know I'm not skilled enough yet to take down Blondie, not when he's behaving so erratically.

Cap responds immediately to my shout and lets go of me. He throws himself towards Blondie and knocks his para-towel-bubble to the ground before Blondie can bring down a lethal swing on Hodge.

I make a move to stand over a bleeding and whimpering Hodge just in case he tires to escape whilst Cap is busy slapping some sense into Blondie.

"What the hell, man? You nearly killed him!" Cap has Blondie pinned beneath him on the ground. Blondie is struggling against Cap for all he's worth.

"He's a traitor, Alec. He deserves it. Maybe I should kill him. Like I should have killed Valentine." Blondie protests, still fighting against Cap's hold on him.

"What are you gonna do? Kill every ex circle member, including our parents?" Cap demands, keeping his hands steady on Blondie.

Cap darts a quick glance over at me, eyes raking over me to make sure I'm unharmed. His eyes ask me a question, and I nod in answer to it. Cap nods in return and then looks back down at Blondie just in time for him to say,

"Robert and Maryse aren't my parents."

Cap makes an incredulous sound of disbelief.

"They raised you. You said it yourself. They _are_ your parents, Jace. Just calm the hell down." Cap finally releases Blondie when it seems like he won't immediately attack. He pats Blondie's chest in what I think is meant to be a comforting gesture.

Luke comes running up to us then and kneels down between me and Hodge. He asks me if I'm alright and I nod yes. I notice Hodge's now missing hand, with the ring he used to communicate with Valentine still on it. I quickly walk over and take the ring off of the severed hand. I put it in my pocket.

Luke grips Hodge's shoulder tightly and says to him,

"There's a prison cell in Idris with your name on it."

I glance over at Blondie and Cap. I catch Cap's eyes again and we share a worried look. Whatever's going on with Blondie, it's clearly fucking with his head. He really shouldn't be going after Valentine.

Cap and I need to find a way to help him. Or at least keep him as far away from Valentine as possible.

A little while later Luke is on the phone with the Clave, telling them to come pick up Hodge. Blondie is sitting with Hodge looking pissed off at the world again.

I take Cap to one side and whisper,

"We can't go after Valentine with Jace."

Cap's face tightens and he lets out a frustrated breathe.

"I know. There's something going on inside Jace. It's destroying him."

"But how do we stop him from coming with us to kick Valentine's ass?" I ask hopelessly.

Cap's jaw clicks, and he meets my eyes. He lifts a hand to squeeze my elbow and leans in close to whisper,

"I've got a plan." I can't stop myself from shivering this time when his breathe brushes across the skin of my cheek.

Cap notices, how the hell could he not when he's standing so freakin' close, and his grip on my elbow goes from gentle to bruising. He looks me in the eye and I swear there's something binding us together in that moment. We share a common goal. To save Jace. A person we both care about. Our brother. It still feels weird to think that, but its true all the same.

"I've got your back, Cap." I manage to get out, despite my overwhelming need to both get closer and move away from Cap at the same time.

Cap seems to be struggling with the same thing, but is better at hiding it than me.

"Alright." Cap says. He look over at Luke, checking to see he's still distracted. "Then lets move."

Cap and I make our way back to where Hodge and Blondie are still sitting against the wall, both looking tortured and angry, but for vastly different reasons.

"You two done whispering about me over there?" Blondie asks unpleasantly.

"Who says it was about you?" I snark right back. "Maybe we were talking about how ugly Hodge's shoes are."

"Hey." Hodge says reproachfully. Blondie just rolls his eyes at us.

"Jace." Cap says, a note of regret in his tone. Blondie turns his head to look up at Cap, his eyes narrowed, but trusting. Cap's expression shifts into something determined and he says, "I'm sorry." Right before hitting Blondie's temple hard with the butt of his seraph blade, therefore knocking Blondie out cold.

Holy shit on a biscuit!

Hodge gasps and tries to shuffle away. I gape at Cap. Cap just kneels down in front of Blondie calmly and uses his stele to draw a rune I don't recognise onto the exposed skin of Blondie's chest.

Cap looks up at me and says with a matter of fact expression,

"This will keep him unconscious for a while."

I shut my mouth with an audible click. Then open it again as Cap gets to his feet. I whack his arm. Hard.

"Wait, **_this_** was your plan on how to stop Blondie from going after Valentine?"

Cap looks completely unrepentant and says simply,

"Yes."

Well fuck a duck.

Then with a frown he adds, "You agreed to go along with my plan. Well, this was my plan. Not my fault you didn't ask."

Oh my God, I'm the accomplice of a lunatic.

He is right though, I did technically agree to back him up. Note to self; next time definitely ask about the crazy Shadowpuppets crazy plan.

...

Without Blondie's epic rage-a-thon issues getting in the way, Cap and I return to the only mission that makes sense. Getting the book of the White, waking up my mother, and asking for her help in destroying her insane ex.

I call Clary and we give each other our updates. Apparently Clary, Simon, Isy-tron and Magnus are at Camille's place. Clary gives us the address and I relay the information to Cap. We leave Blondie with Luke to keep him safe and away from anywhere within Valentine's reach.

Clary told me over the phone that the book of the White is hidden somewhere within Camille's fancy pants apartment, but she has no idea exactly where. Which just figures. Valentine could already be killing people with that damn COD by now and we're still looking for an old book that might, _might_ , lead to more answers instead of another barrage of questions.

"We'll find the book, Ever." Cap says with more confidence than I think either of us really feel.

"Maybe." I say with sigh. I turn to him with troubled eyes. " _Maybe_ we'll find the book and _maybe_ it will have the cure for my Mom inside and _maybe_ my Mom will be able to tell us how to defeat my bastard of a father. That's a shitload of maybe's. I'd like a certainty, can you give me that?" I ask, not even bothering to hide how desperate I feel right now.

Cap stops me with a hand wrapped around my arm. He pulls me around to face him. We're right outside of Camille's place now. Cap doesn't seem to care about that right now though. He doesn't seem to care that we're on the edge of an all out war either. Instead he backs me up against a stone wall and looks down into my eyes as I stare back up at him, unable and unwilling to look away. The proximity of his body to mine is like a lighting rod reacting to a storm. It strikes hard and fast inside me, the completely consuming wave of...something.

I can't even name it, because I've never felt anything like it in my life. I don't think Cap has either because he looks just as unnerved as I feel. His emotions are on display for once, and it's almost too much to take in all at once.

"You want a certainty?" Cap asks, although I know he doesn't actually want me to respond. His arms box me in against the wall and as he presses even closer to me, I let my hands come up to rest of his shoulders. I grip the lapels of his black jacket in tight fists, ready to push or pull depending on his next words. Cap lets his head fall forward just a bit more, our noses brushing, causing static to play and spark beneath my skin.

"No matter what happens with your Mom, or Valentine, or even Jace," Cap whispers, his voice deepening roughly. "I promise that I will stand by you. I promise that I will fight with you, by your side. I promise that I will do everything within my power to be what you need me to be until this is all over."

My heart skips several beats, and for a single moment, I think I might die from it.

I hold on tighter to Cap's jacket and brush our noses again, his breathe warm on my face. I can practically hear the way his heart speeds up inside his chest whenever we touch skin to skin. I lock gazes with him again and feel yet another shiver race up my spine at the dark hunger swirling inside Cap's eyes.

"I don't think it will ever be over, Alec." I whisper on a shallow breathe.

Cap's expression doesn't falter as he replies without hesitation,

"I know."

"Are you trying to promise me forever, Alexander Lightwood?" I ask, teasing even though nothing about this is funny or a joke to me.

Cap's lips almost touch mine. There's only a petal's worth of distance between them. I wonder for a moment if another person can taste like pure bliss. If anyone could, it'd be Cap.

"I've only ever promised forever to one person before." Cap says. Wordlessly adding 'Jace'. Jace. The man who bounds Cap and me together, and always will. Because Jace will never stop being our brother no matter what happens between us. I don't know if that's comforting or terrifying.

Before I can respond to Cap, I hear a crashing sound coming from inside Camille's apartment. Cap and I both spring into action, immediately shattering the moment we just sharing and shoving it aside. The people we love could be in danger and that's all that matters.

Cap breaks down Camille's front door and we race inside in search of our people. We come to an almost screeching halt when we find our people in the closest library. With Valentine.

"Oh, Everlyna, so good of you to join us." Valendouche says to me sounding so smug that I just want to sock him on the nose. He goes on. "I thought I might have to go searching for you. Thankfully your sister is already here. But where exactly is your brother?"

Somewhere safe after having been knocked out by _his_ brother, actually.

"Like hell we would tell you." I snap at Valentine in disgust.

I look over at Clary, who is clutching at a large book with a death drip and glaring at Valentine in pure hatred. Simon and Isy-tron are flanking her. Magnus is standing off to the side being held by one of Valentine's groupies. Another few groupies are scattered around the room, blocking us all in.

"You won't have to." Valentine says uncaringly. "Jace will come."

"No. He won't." I say firmly. Valentine still looks smug as hell, so I decide to bring him down a few pegs. I take a step towards him. Cap makes a sound of protest, but he doesn't outright stop me. I pierce Valentine with my most hateful glare and say, "Jace won't come. Because he can't. We've put him in a safe place, where you can't hurt or manipulate him anymore. So whatever your plan was, if you expected to be able to threaten Jace into leaving with you, I'm afraid you'll be quite disappointed."

Boom. Mic drop.

...

Have you ever seen a supervillain go off in a huffy flounce?

Well, let me tell you, it's quite a sight to behold, no lie.

I was more shocked than anything that when, once Valentine had realised I was serious, he yelled in outrage and went stalking away through his stupid portal, cronies following close behind.

After that we all went back to the Institute so that Magnus could work on the spell to wake up my mother. Luke met us there with Blondie in tow. We put Blondie in his room and waited for the explosion that would signify him waking him. Cap and I waited right outside Blondie's door, knowing that it would probably be better that he heard directly from us what happened instead of having to search us out. Cap kept looking at me, and then just as quickly looking away whenever I caught his gaze.

So, we're back to all that fun. Good. All the honesty was starting to get tiring around here.

I was expecting anger, and hell, Blondie does not disappoint. As soon as he wakes up, I hear him from outside the door. Cap gets up and knocks, but opens the door without waiting for a response. Blondie sits up on his bed and looks over at us as soon as we enter the room. He does not look best pleased.

"What the _fuck_ did you do?" Blondie growls, eyes flashing with a dangerous amount of intensity.

I point at Cap and say defensively,

"It was _his_ plan."

Cap turns an arched eyebrow on me.

"Really?" He asks dryly.

I shrug at him.

"What? It _was_."

"You went along with it." Cap argues.

"Yeah, because I didn't naturally assume your plan on how to deal with Blondie would include unprovoked assault as the main component." I reply nonplussed.

"I didn't see you getting too upset after I'd already done it." Cap says, narrowing his eyes at me.

"Well there wasn't much point in getting upset at that juncture was there! It was too late, and we didn't have time to hang around." I throw my hands up dramatically.

"By the Angel, can you two _stop doing that_." Blondie yells at us, clearly fuming.

Cap turns a more apologetic look on Blondie and tries to explain calmly,

"I'm sorry, brother. But we had to stop you from doing something insane like going after Valentine by yourself. We only did what we did to protect you."

I jump in, trying to help,

"And now we have the book of the White. Magnus is gonna wake up our Mom and then we can take on Valentine. Together. All of us."

"That doesn't give you the right to knock me out and leave me on the sidelines!" Blondie shouts, not sounding at all perturbed. He's pissed. Very pissed. And, to be fair, he has every right to be. If it were me, I'd feel pissed off too.

Luke suddenly appears in the doorway. He glances at each of us in turn before saying,

"It's time. Magnus is doing the spell."

He leaves us without another word and walks away. Cap, Blondie and I all take turns staring at each other. It is very awkward. Like, awkward times a bazillion and then doubled.

Blondie climbs off the bed and moves past us towards the door way. Without looking back, Blondie says,

"I'm so angry at you guys right now...but there are some things that are more important. I'll meet you down there." He leaves the room after that, leaving us in his teen angst dust.

Once I'm sure Blondie is out of earshot, I spin on my heel and face Cap. He's looking after Blondie with an almost thoughtful expression. When he realises I'm staring at him, he looks at me. I take a few steps closer to him and place my hand over his heart. I can feel his heartbeat and it makes me want to push myself into his space even further.

I force myself to look deeply into his eyes and ask,

"What you said, outside of Camille's apartment, does it all still stand? Did you mean it?"

I didn't want to think otherwise at the time, but now, I know I have to ask.

Cap doesn't say anything. He just watches me with that same cold, unfeeling mask on his face. It hurts my heart to see it. After what feels like years of waiting for a response, Cap still doesn't say a word and I start to feel like an idiot. I realise that of course Cap didn't mean what he said. He was just trying to make me feel better when I was upset. I can deal with that. But I can't stand to look at him and deal with it at the same time.

"Right. Ok then." I say, trying to make sure the words come out sounding at least halfway normal. I turn away from Cap, hoping to hide the pain that I know he must see in my eyes. I remove my hand from Cap's chest and take a step away. "We better go-"

My half bitten off words are halted when Cap's fingers take hold of my upper arm. Cap turns me back around so fast that I lose my footing and I stumble into him. Cap's lips are on mine before I can even complete the thought of trying to stay standing. I stiffen up against him for a single second, my body confused. But then I'm kissing him back. He lets go of my arm and slides that hand down to rest on my waist. He yanks my body closer to his. Impossibly close. Unbearably close.

Cap uses his other hand to cup my face, to slide his thumb across my jaw and cause pin pricks of fire to pierce my all too sensitive skin. He opens his mouth and I do the same, letting him in. His teeth catch my bottom lip and I just about lose my mind. I give it over. I give over everything to him.

I think, is this a good kiss? I don't know. It feels too much like fire and ice going to war between us to be considered simply 'good' or 'bad'.

Cap's mouth is hot. Everything is hot.

He's pushing me, so, I push back, unable to help myself. Unable to back away from such a challenge from him.

His family ring is biting into my side. I feel the cool, hardness of it against my hip. His pulse is beating in my throat. And his mouth is destroying every single thought that is trying to invade my mind and break us apart.

Cap. _Alec_.

But then it changes and his mouth isn't hot anymore. It's cold.

He's so cold, and the world around us is so hot.

I think I might die from this. I think I might die from kissing Cap.

The Shadow world is at war. My family is torn to shredded pieces. Everyone is counting on us to save them, whether they realise it or not.

But I'm still going to die kissing an angel warrior by the name of Alexander Lightwood.

And yes, in this **_one moment_** , in this achingly short pocket of time...I wouldn't change a single fucking thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N-Ok, so, FINALE OF SEASON ONE BITCHES! What did you all think? I know this was one Long. Ass. Chapter. So I really want to know what you thought of it and if you'd like me to continue with a season two. I've got some other projects going on at the moment, so if you, my wonderful readers, want me to write a season two then please, I beg of you, let me know. xx


	18. Back In Business

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do NOT own Shadowhunters. Or The Mortal Instruments. The only thing I own in this fic is my character 'Ever'.

"Oh my sweet girls." Mom tries to hug me and Clary to death at the same time. I give her props for using an Elmo arms technique to be able to multi-hug. Not all of us have that level of coordination. Must be one of her Shadowpuppet powers.

 _Beware villains of New York, my name is Snuggleman_ (or Snugglewoman if you're gonna get all Beyonce and 'I don't need no man' about it)! _And with the supreme power of my supersonic hugs, I will end the reign of evil that has forsook our good city!_

I believe I have lost my train of thought. What were we talking about?

Oh, right.

For some reason Mom and Clary decided that we should have our weird-ass family reunion in the Institute's mini jungle. I didn't even know the Institute had a mini jungle until Clary told me about it when she very rudely interrupted my important we-just-outwitted-Valentdouche celebration. Otherwise known as sleeping. Which I haven't been able to do since my Mom was kidnapped and I was thrown face first into a world of non-stop wackadoodle and sexy man-angst.

I know what you're all thinking, who shives a git about my emotional problems and Mom issues, what happened with Captain dream boat Mc broody pants? Well, I'll tell you.

Nothing. I'm sorry to disappoint you.

Ok, yeah, not _nothing_ nothing obviously.

We kissed. Cap kiss me and my world turned on it's axis just like all the movies and books and songs and poems tell you it's supposed to when you kiss someone. And then nothing.

Cap and I both back away from each other at exactly the same moment. For once us being in sync felt wrong. I didn't want to stop kissing Cap. In fact I could have spent a good portion of my life just standing there with our chests crushed together and our lips locked and Cap doing his damndest to steal all rational thought from my mind via mindblowing kissing skills. Not that I have much rational thought going on up there anyway, but still, it's the principle of the thing.

After backing off like two wild animals, we had two options. Fight or flight. We both chose flight.

Cap was staring at me, his broad chest heaving and those fucking eyes of his burning into my skin with the power of a thousand bastard suns. It hurt. It quite literally _hurt_ to even look at him. It was painful to have him looking right back at me. And I still wasn't sure whether our kiss was good or bad or extraordinary or awful or something insane and inbetween. It all felt too intense to even be real, let alone something I actually had to _deal_ with.

So, yeah, I took the cowards way out and made up some mumbled excuse about going to see if Magnus needed help with his spell. And I'm not even sorry about it. If I'd tried to say anything, or talk to Cap about what we did, what we felt, then I knew it would end in nothing but pain. Hell, it still might end in disaster no matter what we do. I just didn't want to add fuel to the fire. Not yet anyway. Whatever's going on between me and Cap will just have to sit in the fucking corner and wait until I've got my head screwed on properly.

I pull back from my mother's embrace first like the anti-social butterfly I strive to be with my every thought and action. Clary clings onto our mother for a few more seconds before stepping away as well. I try to keep a completely blank look on my face. I'm not really sure how I feel yet about all the lies our Mom told and the secrets she kept hidden from us. I don't like the idea that we weren't told things that could have saved our lives, or at least given us a clue as to what we were up against.

Then again, I think I understand why she felt she had to lie, and it can't have been easy for her all these years. I can't imagine what it must have been like to grow up in this life and then have no choice but to run away from it. I try to think of Blondie or Cap trying to live as normal people, and the idea just seems so bizarre considering what I've seen them do. They are Shadowhunters. I truly cannot picture them as anything else.

"I'm so sorry." Mom says, her eyes full of guilt. It's genuine, I think, which does help. "I never meant for any of this to happen." She tacks on. "I only ever wanted to protect you both."

"No worries, it's all good in the hood. Although a heads up that our Dad is an evil douchecanoe would have been appreciated." I say with forced cheeriness. No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to escape the anger I feel towards...well, everyone. Including myself. It's all a bit confusing. It's all a bit shit.

Clary gives me a glare so potent that it makes me want to poke her on the nose and go 'beep'. I give in to the impulse. Poke. 'Beep'. And it's even more satisfying than I thought it would be.

If looks could kill then I'd be deader than a dead person on dead tablets in deadland. God. Am I the only one who can take a joke around here? I'm starting to think so. I miss Simon. He thinks I'm funny. I'll have to go on a hunt for deadboy after Mom's finished telling us how to kick Valendouche in the face effectively.

"You know it's rude to stare." I stage-whisper to Clary.

Clary's expression goes from furious to cosmically volcanic. I clench my fists so I won't do the poke-beep thing again. I'm afraid she might try to bite me this time. Clary has a tendency towards such outrageous displays of violence. I would never bite anyone. Well, I did bite Blondie that one time, but I don't think it counts because it was in self-defense. Plus, Blondie is blond. There are different rules for blond people. Fact is, they just don't fit in with the rest of us. We should probably gather all of the Blond people together in one place and then build a fence around them. For the safety of everyone.

"Could you ever just behave like a normal person?" Clary asks prissily.

"No. I couldn't. If I do then all of reality will inevitably collapse. I made a pact with the universe. My weirdness is now a legal a requirement." I say, full well knowing that I'm now just poking the sleeping Clary bear with a stick. A pointy stick. With metaphorical honey on it. Any moment now the Clary the Pooh will explode with bear rage and try to rip out my throat with her clawless paws of mass destruction.

Clary clenches her hands into fits and brings them up to press against her face. She makes a puffing sound of complete and utter frustration. Her eyes are cold and flinty when they refocus on me, but her words are clearly aimed at our mother.

"She's been like this the whole time, Mom."

"That is not true! Sometimes I've been asleep." I argue, crossing my arms over my chest. I'm wearing a new t-shirt today, bought for me by my trusty partner in fabulousness, Maggie the magnificent. It's dark blue and has the words _'Bitch please, I ride a Unicorn'_ printed on it in bold lettering across the front.

Our Mom sighs despairingly at us. Not an entirely uncommon reaction.

"Please tell me you two haven't been fighting again." She says worriedly.

"It's impossible not to fight with her." Clary complains irritably, shooting me another dodgy look. "She's so ridiculous about everything."

"How _dare_ you." I lament in a mock disgusted voice. "After all the work I put into rescuing your ass from Valendouche and gnawing through your chains. I almost snapped a tooth for you! I could have _died_ from metal poisoning and this is thanks I get? For shame, sir, for _shame_."

"No one told you to lick the chains!" Clary shouts at me, fumingly.

"I know, exactly!" I snap back. "It's called 'taking initiative', Clary."

Clary growls like a disgruntled guinea pig. I think she's about two seconds away from full on stamping her foot and throwing a tantrum. I don't know what she's so on edge about anyway, apart from the obvious. I'm the one who kissed my own brother, and then kissed his Shadow-husband. Both kisses were as equally intense and fucked up, but for different reasons.

"Girls!" Mom admonishes sternly, effectively cutting off whatever argument Clary and I were about to have.

"I know I've already said it," Mom goes on sadly, "but I really am sorry about all of this. I never wanted you to find out this way."

"I don't think you ever wanted us to find out at all." I say neutrally.

Mom winces a bit at that.

"No, I suppose I didn't. I wanted to keep you both safe from the Shadow world."

"I know that, Mom." Clary says in a softer tone than the one she used on me. "But you don't have to do that anymore. _I'm_ not a kid."

I notice her emphasis on the word ' _I'm_ ' there and I know exactly what she's getting at. Rude. Extremely rude. If I gave shiz nit what Clary thought of my maturity then I would be very hurt by that. Luckily, I don't care.

"I do need to protect you, Clary. You're still my little girl." Mom says, reaching out to brush a lock of hair away from Clary face.

"You protected us by lying." Clary says, a bit more accusingly. "We had a right to know, Mom. It's our lives."

"I was scared." Mom admits.

"Because you married a psychopath." Clary says.

"Otherwise known as our dearly loathsome Daddy." I add.

Mon deflates a bit.

"So you know..."

"Yeah, we know some stuff." I say. We know far more than we ever really wanted to these days. "Most of it is pretty shady shit, Mom."

"Oh, girls." Mom says beseechingly. "Your father wasn't always like this."

"Yeah, yeah." I say, waving a dismissive hand. "Once upon a alternative universe he was a good guy who killed masses of people and almost started a war between Downerwaffles and Shadowpuppets. Luke the fluffy king already told us all about his platonic ex-boyfriend."

Clary ignores me and says,

"We deserve to know who we really are."

"Hey, speak for yourself Clarebear." I say.

I know who I am already. I'm a badass young woman with a blade named Tony. My mother is a liar liar pants on fire to the extreme, and my father is a butthead (also to the extreme). I have a best friend who has recently become a vampire as a direct result of my fraked up life. My twin sister is annoying, but that was always true. I might possibly have a thing, an intense, weird, fucked up, thing for two guys. Both of whom I can't have. I'm not even sure what 'having' them would mean for me, them, or anyone else involved.

What else is there to know?

Nothing good, most likely.

"I promise." Mom says with a sudden formality. "No more lies." She grabs hold of Clary's hand, and then mine.

Clary and I exchange an uncertain glance. I feel the heaviness of our mutual distrust press down on my heart. After everything we've been through recently, it will take more than one promise to make things right between the three of us. At this point, I'm not even sure if 'right' is something we're capable of.

...

"We are at war." Cap Isy-tron's scary Mom says.

Mine and Clary's meeting of the fucked up lives with our Mom was cut short when Luke showed up to tell us that all the Shadowpuppet in residence were meeting in the main control room. Our reconciliation with Mom was just getting interesting, or horrifying depending on how you look at it. Clary and I told Mom about Jace, and then Simon showed up and accidentally revealed his vampy fangs.

I ran to the main control room with my makeshift family and pushed through the crowd towards Blondie, Cap and Isy-tron. When I reached them, Isy-tron spared me a distracted smile. Blondie gave me a brisk nod. Cap looked right at me, I think by accident, and we shared a few long, tortuous, seconds of eye contact before we both averted our gazes at the same time once again. Well, at least we're in agreement of the coward front.

"Valentine has the Mortal Cup." Scary Mom goes on. "Which he is no doubt using to raise a new army."

Excellent, I love a bit of dramatic flair in the morning.

"Your Mom ain't taking no fools today." I whisper to Isy-tron.

Isy-tron makes a tired sound and replies,

"She's taking back her kingdom."

I look around us at the gathering of Shadowpuppets, not finding myself all that impressed to be honest. I say let Scary Mom have her kingdom; it's full of misbehaving teenagers anyway, so we're probably screwed no matter who's in charge.

"As a result," Scary Mom says from her place at the front of the room, "the Clave has declared a state of emergency at the Institute. Their first priority is to replace the current leadership who have been deemed wholly ineffectual."

Woah! Bitch slap to Stoneface. I peek around my friends to look for Stoneface, and find her standing a few feet away. I can practically hear her teeth grinding from all the way over here.

Scary Mom is still talking, so I quickly snap my attention back to her.

"It is my honour to introduce the newly appointed head of the New York Institute, Clave representative, Victor Aldertree." Scary Mom gestures at a man of average height wearing a snazzy suit. He nods at Scary Mom in acknowledgement. From that alone I can't tell what number he'll be on the 'twatwaffle' scale, but I do know he'll definitely be on the scale itself based purely on the fact that he's part of the Clavicle.

"Did you know about this?" Cap asks Isy-tron, his expression is set on default a.k.a mildly disapproving of everything in life.

"No." Isy-tron replies. "But maybe this is why Dad went back to Idris."

"Don't worry guys, I'm pretty sure your Mom could kick that guys' ass." I say, jerking my chin at Vicky the tree.

"Somehow I don't think that's going to help in this situation." Cap says dryly.

"You don't know that." I argue. "Your Mom could challenge him to a Wizards duel to the death. Or drag him off to the gladiators cage and demand he fight a lion. They could both fight a lion. I bet your Mom would frighten the lion to death and then eat it."

That gets the reaction I was hoping for. Cap chokes on a laugh, attempting to hide his humour from me as usual. He covers his mouth with his hand and pointedly looks away from me. Spoilsport.

I poke Blondie's arm, regretting it a bit when he actually locks eyes with me. I feel the tension still thick as mud grow even thicker between us. Blondie looks at me like he doesn't know what to do about my existence in his life, and I have a feeling that I keep looking at him in exactly the same way.

I can also feel Cap watching at us in what he probably thinks is a discreet and not at all obvious manner. It's almost like he's waiting for us to do something. What exactly that thing _is_ , I don't really know. I think Blondie can sense Cap's laser focused attention too, because he throws a confused frown over his shoulder at Cap, who in turn meets his para-bubble-towel's gaze head on. They share a crazy-powerful stare-a-thon moment, before turning back to me once more.

Damn it. I should really learn how to become invisible. Magnus probably has a spell for that. I'll have to ask him about it next time I see him. Hopefully that will be sooner rather than later because I already miss Magnus and his endless supply of good whiskey.

"Hey, I was also meaning to ask." I say, pretending like Cap and Blondie aren't both staring at me like they want to...fuck, I don't even know. Touch me? Kiss me? Cuddle me to death? I really don't fucking know, seriously. I press on, undaunted. "What's up with our runes?" I lift my bare arm and tap the rune curling around it.

Cap and Blondie look confused, like they have no idea what I'm talking about. Blondie further proves that by asking,

"What about them?"

I frown at him and tap a bit more insistently on my arm. They still don't seem to get it, so I explain,

"They've turned black."

Apparently this does not help them to understand.

"What do you mean?" Blondie asks, clearly perplexed. "They've always been black."

Ok, now I get it, they're playing with me. This is payback for the closet thing.

"Very funny." I say, rolling my eyes. "But seriously, why have they changed colour?"

"Ever, we aren't joking." Cap says in his ultra serious voice, forehead crinkling slightly. "Our runes have always been black. Why, what colour do you think they're supposed to be?"

I gape at them both for a bit, not fully comprehending what they're trying to tell me.

"Our runes used to be a fleshy skin colour, not black." Not that I particularly mind the change within itself, but still. "I thought it was maybe, you know, a seasonal thing. Like when the season changes, then so do the runes."

Blondie and Cap look at each other and shrug, then turn back to me.

"As far as we know, runes are black and have never been any other colour." Cap says plainly.

What? No, seriously, what?!

I shake Isy-tron's arm to get her attention. She looks at me and I ask her,

"What colour are runes supposed be?"

Isy-tron looks at me like she thinks I might have hit my head or something, but answers,

"Um, black. Why?"

I don't answer her, and instead nudge Clary's shoulder. I ask her the same question and she gives me the same answer, albeit with a bit more scorn in her expression than Isy-tron. I ask a few people around us as well, and they all say 'black' like I'm an idiot for thinking otherwise. No one seems to remember that our runes used to be flesh coloured.

Oh my flip flop, it's a fucking _conspiracy_!

My mind. Blown.

"My fellow Shadowhunters," The ancient tree of Shadowpuppets interrupts my very important train of thought by letting words fall out of his face. "It's an honour to be here with you all." Mr Tree goes blah blah-ing on about nonsense. Yes, get the stupid COD back. AGAIN! Yes, take down Valendouche. We know, we know. Drone on, drone on.

I eventually just zone out completely and start planning my super epic escape from the Institute plan. Alright, so it's not all that epic. I just want to get out of here for a while. I really want to put some distance between me and my Mom, which I know sounds insane considering we only just got her back.

What I should really be thinking about how I'm gonna introduce my Mom to her apparently not-dead son/my brother/the guy I made out with against a wall not that long ago. I'm completely screwed. There's no way to make that sound any less fucked up than it actually is. But, at the same time, Blondie deserves to know his mother, and vice versa.

When Grandfather Willow finally claps his hands together and goes skipping off to God only knows where to do...stuff. Yeah, I'm gonna go with 'stuff' for now.

But before I can make any attempt at dealing with my shit and forcing another family reunion, Simon, Blondie and Cap all say to me at exactly the same time,

"I need to talk to you."

Fucking hells bells, I am popular today. My special snow flake syndrome is _strong_.

Also, it's hella creepy that they all spoke in unison. Maybe it's one of those weird guy things that I'll never be able to understand. Like their inability to ask for directions even when they are clearly lost, or how they seem incapable of talking about their man-pain unless you beat it out of them. Sometimes literally.

Simon, Blondie and Cap exchange looks of confusion with a dash of testosterone filled animosity. I know they're waiting for me to choose which one of them I'll actually talk to. I feel torn. Like really fucking torn. I should really talk to Blondie, since he's the one riding out this shitstorm of a life with me. But a big part of me wants to go with Cap. Despite my earlier cowardice, I don't want things to be strained between us.

I look for an ally in Clary, Isy-tron, my Mom, or Luke, but they've all pissed off and left me alone. Clary and Isy-tron are standing in the corner gossiping about whatever the hell it is those two apparently have in common. Luke and my Mom have also drifted away to whisper meaningfully to each other. I guess Mom still doesn't know that Blondie is her son, because she definitely would have said something by now. I don't know why Luke hasn't told her. Maybe he thinks Clary and I should be the ones to do it. Which is probably for the best actually. I still remember how terrible Luke's 'telling someone important shit about themselves' skills were.

Despite how badly I know I need to face my problems with both Blondie and Cap, I still grasp hold of Simon's arm and say,

"Lets go talk about stuff, Si. Lots and lots of stuffy type...stuff."

Shut up, I am under pressure here, ok.

Cap knows exactly what I'm doing, and he looks a mix between disappointed and relieved, which is exactly how I feel as well. Blondie just looks hurt and a bit bewildered. I'm a bitch for abandoning him, but at this point it's too much for me to handle. Plus there's this awful part of me that still feels something for Blondie that isn't at all platonic and it keeps freaking me out how I don't even really care.

In some, dark, secret corner of my mind, I don't care that Blondie is my brother. That corner whispers awful things, like it wishes we'd never found out that Blondie is my Mom's not-dead son. I don't get how I can feel that way about Blondie, but then still have such strong and intense... _somethings_ for Cap. I'm a terrible human being sometimes. And yeah, I know, 'human being'. What can I say, I'm a terminal optimist.

Simon looks a bit surprised by my choice, and that makes me feel shitty as well. He shouldn't have to wonder if I'd put him before some random guys I've known less than a month. Simon's my best friend and he deserves better from me than he's been getting. I shall endeavour to stop kissing hot Shadowpuppets and be a better bestie to my new Fang boy.

I practically drag Simon from the room, purposefully not looking back at Cap or Blondie or my Mom or...well, anyone who's existence is turning my world upsidown and giving it a good shake.

Simon loyally trots along behind me as I lead him up to the roof, otherwise known as my new secret smoking and sharing area. I practically throw myself down onto the floor, pulling Simon down with me. He practically lands in my lap and we both shuffle around laughing for a few minutes trying to get into a good position. The cold stone floor feels good against my ass, and I give props to whoever designed this fake church. Or old real church that the Shadowpuppets overthrew and took over.

I light up a cigarette. This time Simon and I share.

After a few minutes of letting an easy silence hang between us, Simon nudges my arm with his elbow and says,

"Gonna be real with me for a second and express your innermost feelings, Ev's?"

I make a grunting sound, which is completely mature of course.

"I don't have any feelings." I say archly. "How about you? Got anything heinous you want to confess?"

Simon sighs heavily, but apparently decides to humour me.

"Well, I'm dead. Very dead. Still. Which is not so great. To be fair though, my father isn't an evil douchebag and I'm not attracted to my own secret supposed-to-be-dead-but-not-actually-dead brother. So I figure you've got me beat in this round of 'who's life is more royally fucked right now'."

"Who says I'm attracted to Blondie?" I say pointlessly. It's not like Blondie and I were being subtle before the whole brother-sister thing came out.

Simon snorts and turns to look at me. His skin is very pale, almost chalky. I wonder if he's getting enough blood. But that's not exactly a question I can just ask him without turning it into a big _thing_. Simon seems intent on rolling with this whole 'I am a vampire now, hear me sparkle' situation and I am not inclined to burst his bubble quite yet.

"I know you, Ev's. You've been giving him your 'lets go make out in broom closet' look ever since you met him. Plus, Jace is hot. I'm dead, not blind." Simon says drolly.

"If you think he's so hot, then maybe _you_ should make out with him." I say grumpily, fully aware that I'm being a dick.

"I _would_." Simon replies smartly, seeming more amused than irritated by my behaviour. "But Jace isn't in _wuv_ with **me**. He's in _wuv_ with **you**. God only knows why. But then, I suppose he's a bit weird, isn't he?"

I reach over and punch Simon's arm. Hard.

"Shut it, Junior sparkles."

Simon rolls his eyes, but he's grinning now.

"It's ok to admit you wanted him, Ev's." Simon says more seriously. "Hell, it's ok to admit you still kind of do. I'm not gonna judge you or whatever, you know that."

I do know that. I can count on Simon to back me up. I'm just not sure what I'm fighting against anymore. It's not only my attraction to Blondie that's the problem. I have the fucked upness with my Mom and Clary. I have my crazy father still out on the rampage, having now teamed up with the object I hate beyond all reason. Then there's Cap, which is whole other level of insanity that I don't have any idea on how to broach. I'm running around in the dark over here.

"I feel like I'm losing my mind, Si." I admit quietly to both myself and Simon.

"Yeah, well, you're not alone in that, Ev's." Simon says gravely. He takes my hand in his and squeezes it tightly. "We've both fallen down the rabbit hole, and so we're just gonna have to deal with the consequences."

"But how?" I ask, letting out a frustrated breathe of air.

Simon makes a weird face, which almost very nearly makes me laugh, despite the seriousness of our conversation.

"I don't have a fucking clue." Simon says honestly. "But we'll work it out, you and me and Clary. We're all in this together."

"Alright, alright, don't be going all High School Musical on me." I shove at Simon's shoulder.

Simon clears his throat and starts to sing in exaggerated excitement,

" _We're all in this together. And it shows. When we stand. Hand in hand. Make our dreams come true_ -"

I burst out laughing, unable to stop myself. I laugh so hard that my stomach starts to hurt and I almost curl up into a ball on the ground next to Simon.

When I've finally _stopped_ laughing, by some miracle, Simon says,

"I'll be there for you, no matter what, Ev's."

Oh, he just did that on purpose. Now I have no choice. I sing the chorus from the theme song of 'Friends',

"I'll be there for you-"

Simon catches on quickly,

" _When the rain starts to fall_ -"

"I'll be there for you-"

" _Like I've been there before_ -"

"I'll be there for you-"

" _'Cause you're there for me too_!"

Simon and I both play fake drums to the ending beat. Like Bosses. Because that's how best friends pledge their eternal best friend-dom to each other.

And just like that, I know we have a shot at getting past this and moving onto something better. There's finally a light in the dark. I just have to figure out how to reach it without destroying everyone else who stands in my way, including the people I never want to hurt.


	19. If You Burn, I Burn With You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do NOT own Shadowhunters. Or The Mortal Instruments. The only thing I own in this fic is my character 'Ever'.

"This is weird." Blondie says. He looks like he either wants to throw up or run away. Possibly both. If it were me then I'd probably do both.

"It's not that weird." I say, part of me wanting to reach out to him. But I know I can't without revealing some pretty obvious feelings bullshit. I don't think Blondie wants our Mom to know how we (kinda, maybe, completely) feel about each other any more than I do. Which is a plus. Sort of. If you're into being a liar, liar, pants on fire anyway.

"I'm with Jace on this one." Clary says tentatively. "This is all kinds of fucked up right here."

Ok, maybe this is majorly weird, but what else are we gonna do?

I shooed away Isy-tron, Cap, Simon, and all the other nosey whatsits. Now it's just me, the alpha fluffy, Clare-bear, Blondie and our Mom alone together. Alone. Together. And yeah, it's totally fucking weird, who was I kidding?

Mom is staring at Blondie like she thinks he could disappear at any moment. She looks a cross between stunned and horrified. Which is not at all helpful considering Blondie already thinks she never wanted him. That's not true, obviously. Or at least I really hope it isn't true. If it is then I might need to rent a new Mom because her not wanting Blondie would be just be wrong in my world.

"I'm so sorry." Mom gasps, one hand covering her mouth. Luke looks desperately like he wants to comfort her, but isn't entirely sure how to. Well, that makes two of us. Or maybe all five of us if we're being honest.

Blondie shifts uncomfortably in his seat. Now he definitely wants to bolt. Mom reaches out to touch his hand, but Blondie moves away. We're all sitting around a small table in an abandoned living room that looks more like an old library. I think I like this room. If it weren't for the very fucking weird situation that we're all involved in then I might not mind being in here so much.

"Oh Jonathan." Mom says quietly, her eyes are sad, like she expected the rejection but is still hurt by it.

"It's _Jace_." Blondie and I say at the same time. Gross. I make a mental note never to do that again. Blondie better be making a mental note too or I'll be forced to use physical violence. I am not afraid to poke a bitch in the eye. For reals.

Blondie turns to me with an incredulous expression on his face.

"Oh, so you _do_ know my name." He says with the utmost snarkitude. "I thought maybe you had selective amnesia or something."

I snort at him and cross my arms over my chest.

"Don't be an idiot. Of course I know your name. It's Blondie St. Blockhead. How could I ever forget a name like that?"

Blondie sighs heavily and turns away from me again. But he seems a bit less tense now, so, ahha!, ten points to Slytherin!

On the other side of the table Clary makes a derisive sound. I wave at her. Manically. With both hands. She does not look impressed by my hand waving skills. Rude. I do an anti-wave to show my displeasure at her uncalled for rudeness.

"Ow! Ever!" Clary yelps. She glares at me and like the true blue narc she is, Clary turns to Mom and tattles, "Mom, Ever just kicked me under the table!"

"Lies! I moved my foot _ever so gently_ , and Clary's leg was in the way." I defend myself in the face of Mom's unimpressed stare. I say to my fuming sister, "Get your leg out of my foot's personal bubble, biscuit head."

"You're the liar!" Clary shouts, pointing an accusing finger at me. "You always do this. You do stupid stuff and then say even stupider stuff to get out of it. Like that time you spray painted 'Designated smoking area' on the wall in the school bathroom and when you got sent to Principle Maxwell's office you claimed you were only doing it to prove that he had cameras hooked up in the bathrooms."

I glare back at Clary and argue,

"Uh, he _did_ have cameras installed in the bathrooms. Which is hella illegal. Luke said so when I told him. Not my fault Principle Maxwell was a perv. I was doing a public service by vandalising school property. In the name of justice. And in the name of wanting to go pee without worrying about being filmed whilst doing it."

If I wanted to pee on camera then I would have gone into porn. Weird pee porn. I know that shit's out there. I checked. For educational reasons. And because Simon told me about it when we were fourteen and I didn't believe him. It's true though. Some people like kinky shit, let me tell you. No judgement, but _damn_.

"See, this is exactly what I mean. You just can't stop yourself from saying weird shit at inappropriate moments." Clary says, clearly exasperated for some unknown and unfathomable reason.

"How is this my fault? You were the one who brought up the justice for private peeing thing, not me." I say.

"Justice for private peeing? What does that even _mean,_ you _lunatic_?" Clary demands incredulously.

"I'm the lunatic? You're the one who smashed in a store window last year because of gerbils or some shit." I scoff.

"I was protesting for animal rights outside of a clothing store where they sell real fur." Clary goes all uptight and huffy.

I narrow my eyes at her and wave dismissively,

"Oh yeah, you went all gerbil activist about a jacket, but when I wanted help freeing the frogs from the Science building, you were all 'no, Ever, that's dumb, we could get a detention or something'. The gerbils would have been ashamed of you Clary. _Ashamed_. Simon and I had to free those frogs by ourselves. It took ages to shoo them through the school. Simon tripped over, like, fifteen times. It was hilarious. And traumatic for the defenceless little frogs. You let me down, you let Simon down, and you let yourself down. But Clary, more importantly, you let _them_ down. You let down poor Benny and Florence and Kim and Bob and Steve and Marco and Fin and Eric and-"

"You named all of the frogs?" Mom asks me.

I pause momentarily and spare her a glance.

"Of course." Then I go on with my more important task of staring Clary down, "Penny and Bart and Jamie and Ricky and Slowmow and-"

"Are you gonna list all of the frogs _right now?"_ Luke interjects to ask me.

"Yes," I say, and continue, "Jimmy and Samantha and Frederick and Thomas and Walter and-"

"How many frogs were there?" Blondie asks Clary.

Clary is still glaring daggers at me, but she answers angrily,

"Two hundred and twenty-three."

"Oh fuck." Blondie groans, laying his head down on the table. But I would not be dissuaded. I remember each and every frog and they all deserve equal recognition, especially-

"Please can we have a minute of silence for Iggy." I say solemnly.

"Who?" Blondie asks.

"What?" Luke asks.

"Why?" Mom asks.

"No." Clary says.

"Unfortunately not all of the frogs made it to freedom." I explain sadly. "Iggy lost his life during the escape. He was a brave frog. But even the greatest of plans are rarely executed without casualty during a volatile situation. Perhaps if we'd had another member of our rescue squad then his life could have been spared." I add innocently.

Clary's pissed of glare rises from hot to scalding. She leans forward over the table and hisses at me,

"I hate you."

Mom sighs even louder than Blondie did a few minutes and one strange bitch fight with my sister ago. She fixes Clary and I with a tired frown each and scolds,

"Ever, stop naming random frogs and antagonising your sister. Clary, stop saying things that set your sister off. You know better."

"Why am I always the one who has to know better?" Clary grumbles. She sits back in her seat dejectedly.

And because I am a ten year old at heart, I say,

"Mom, you forgot about the Clary's leg invading my foot's personal space thing. I don't want to cause problems, but I really do think Clary's attitude towards spacial awareness needs to be addressed. Possibly by a professional. Blondie does the Institute have therapists for that kind of thing?" I turn to a very bewildered Blondie.

Clary makes an outraged sound. Mom just sighs again. Luke covers his eyes with hand and rubs his forehead, as if trying to stave off a headache.

Blondie opens his mouth, but instead of answering me he turns to Luke and asks fearfully,

"Is it always like this? It's always like this isn't it?" He sounds resigned.

Luke gives Blondie a look of sympathy and says,

"No. Not always." He pauses, and then adds. "Sometimes they throw things as well. At each other. And at you. Even if all you're doing is watching TV quietly in a different room."

I slap my hand down on the table and say,

"Oh my flip flop, Luke, that was, like, _one time_. I wasn't actually aiming for you. Blame Simon, he was the one who dodged out of the way. Plus, it was only a _small_ toaster. You didn't even bleed all that much."

I feel like I'm accidentally making this all about me when it's supposed to be about Blondie meeting his Mom and Mom meeting her long lost son. Damn it. I really need to learn when to shut the hell up. I should set up some kind of text alert to remind me or something. Maybe Magnus has a spell that can help.

"Ever." Mom says warningly.

"Yep, yep, got it. Shutting up now, I promise. Ssshhhhhh." I mime zipping my mouth closed. I see Clary rolling her eyes at me again. I casually allow Clary's leg to invade my foot's personal bubble. Clary yelps, but Mom sends her a look of doom so she keeps her mouth shut. Yes! Victory is mine! Cue the maniacal cackling, the Mr Burns finger wiggling, and dramatic villain music!

"I thought you were dead." Mom says to Blondie, turning the moment into something static and serious and uncomfortable as fuck for everyone. Great.

Blondie recoils at this and says stiffly,

"Did you? Did you really, or did you just leave me behind because it was easier? Did you think I'd be better off with Valentine raising me?"

I certainly hope that last part isn't true because you'd have to be an idiot to think that any kid would be better off being raised by Valentine. Unless that kid was named Damien and had three sixes on the back of his head.

"No, Jona-Jace." Mom says desperately, "That wasn't it at all. I thought..." she sucks in a deep, painful, breathe, "I thought you had died in that fire. If I'd even suspected that you were alive, I swear, I never would have left without you."

Good. That's good. Right? Fuck, I don't know.

I watch Blondie's expression carefully. I keep thinking that this is all too much for him. I know it's too much for me and Clary, so I can't even imagine how Blondie must be feeling right now.

Mom reaches out to touch Blondie again, and this time Blondie doesn't instinctively pull away. He stares hard at our mother with an unflinching gaze. Mom stares back with equal fervour. I think I can see the similarities between them now. At least a little bit. They have the same intense stare. The same mouth. The same unwavering stubbornness set in their every facial movement when they're feeling any kind of strong emotion.

It hits me then, in a way that it didn't before. Blondie is our Mom's son. Blondie is my _brother._ My _big_ brother. My stupid, blond, big brother with anger issues and a killer smile when chooses to utilize it. And I have fuck all idea what to do with that. I really don't.

Feelings that I've tried so damn hard to ignore rise to the surface and I'm rocked with the need to escape. To run. To run and run and run and never, ever, come back. This isn't the first time I've felt something like this, but it is the first time I've felt it so intensely. It's the first time I've ever considered actually doing it.

I'm a selfish person. I know that. I've always known that. I think even the people who love me know that. And it's the selfish part of me that wants so badly to run away. I know that too. I don't know how I'll manage living with this feeling for an extended period of time. Usually I feel better after a few days, but I think this time it won't be quite so easy to let go.

You can get addicted to certain kind of sadness. I wonder if that's what depression is like. You hate feeling it, you know it's bad for you, and yet at the same time, strangely, you crave it as well. You crave that darkness because it consumes you. Maybe it's easier to be completely consumed by something rather than to be constantly hanging on to the edge of a deep, dark, hole.

I think that the struggle between sanity and insanity is like being dangled over a cliff edge and clinging onto a hot blade as it slices your hands to ribbons, even as it saves you from falling.

"Please believe me, son." Mom says beseechingly to Blondie, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "I thought about you every single day that we've been apart."

Blondie makes a choked noise that physically pains me to hear. A ball of tension tightens in my gut and hot pinpricks of anger pierce my flesh from the inside. Both Blondie and our Mom lost so much time because of Valentine. Mom lost watching her son grow up. Blondie lost having a parent who loved him without consequences. Valentine stole that from them, and he had no right. No fucking right at all.

It makes me want to hunt him down even more than I already did.

"I don't know..." Blondie trails off with a soft laugh. There's no real humour in it. "I don't know what to feel anymore."

I give in then, unable to hold myself back any longer. I don't hesitate to take hold of Blondie's free hand and grip it tightly. Blondie freezes, his entire body going tense as a board. That familiar spark of something hot and sharp races along my nerve endings, but I don't pull away. After a moment, Blondie locks our fingers together and squeezes my hand. I'll fight off every single second of awkwardness if it'll make things easier for Blondie. This is too important to let our own fucked up feelings screw things up beyond repair.

I think Mom notices our reaction to each other. Clary certainly does. But she's a biscuit head, so no one should care about that.

Blondie distracts them both, however, by saying roughly,

"I've been so...so freaking angry. Angry at my Dad-Valentine, angry at you, angry at the Clave. I've been angry with myself for... _fuck_ , so many things I can't even..." He darts a glance at me. Luckily it's subtle enough that I don't think anyone but me will read into it.

I squeeze Blondie's hand, because I know how he feels about himself. I know that he thinks there's something fundamentally wrong with him, and I want to tell him over and over again that it isn't true. Blondie is a good person. His willingness to help me, even when I was a stranger, only proves that. And Cap and I only did what we did (and by that I mean what Cap did by knocking Blondie out with the butt of seraph blade like a complete psycho, but a well intentioned psycho) to protect him, not because we thought he'd run off and join Valendouche's army of assholes.

"I know how your father can be." Mom says understandingly. She darts a glance at alpha fluffy, "Luke and I both loved him. We really did. He was a good man once. He wasn't born a bad person, Jace." Mom looks deeply into Blondie's eyes, as if wanting him to understand something very important. "It was his choices that made him the monster he is now. He chose to become a tyrant bent on power at any cost. You don't have to go down that same road, Jace. I promise you, it isn't inevitable that you will. You can _choose_ to be a better man. Don't let your father have any power of you. He doesn't deserve it."

I let out a breathe that almost sounds like a reverse gasp. If that's even a thing. It sounds like it should be a thing, though, right?

I can only hope that Blondie takes our mother's words to heart. Because I think she's right. Blondie doesn't owe Valendouche shit, and he doesn't belong to the man either. Blondie already has his own family. He has Cap and Isy-tron and the other Lightwoods. And he has us. Me, Clary, and our Mom. Plus Luke, because he's always been there when we needed him. Hell, I'll even let him borrow Simon. As long as he promises to return him in the same pristine condition as when I handed him over.

"This is still really weird." Blondie says after a really long silence.

"Way to ruin the moment, big brother." I say, then cringe a little bit. Ok, maybe that was too soon. No brother jokes yet I think.

Blondie spares me another eye roll, but he says to Mom,

"Thank you...for saying that, I mean. I still have a lot of stuff to work out, but...it means something that you'd say that, so thanks."

"I want to be a part of your life, Jace." Mom says gently. "I know I have no right to ask, but that's what I want."

There's another really long pause where Blondie and Mom have another stare-a-thon moment. Then finally Blondie says warily,

"Maybe."

I don't know if this first full house family meeting can be called a complete success, but, to be fair, no one died or fell into a coma or kissed their long lost sibling, so I'm gonna go ahead and call it a win anyway.

...

"Are you gonna hit me with that big stick?" I ask Cap, eyeing him challengingly.

Cap gives me number eight on his 'Not amused' list of expressions.

"It isn't a stick. It's a Japanese fighting staph."

Feeling semi-confident after the family meeting of epic weirdness, I came out with the sole intention of confronting Cap about...stuff. We ended up sparing instead. I'm not sure how we got from that point to Cap threatening me with a big-ass stick, but fuck it. I'm down for some stick action.

I did not mean it like that, you freaks. Go sit in the corner right now.

I'm definitely interested in avoiding whatever talk we're probably supposed to be having right now about feelings and other horrible crap. No one likes talking about feelings, and if you do then you are either a robot, or just a far braver man than I am. True facts.

I am alone with Cap right now. Most people are busy trying to track down Valentine, which I've dubbed as pointless. Mom says he won't be found unless he wants to be, and I trust her knowledge of Valendouche far more than I do the Clavicle's. I've caught the Grandfather willow watching me a couple of times. I don't think he trusts me, and if he doesn't trust me, then neither does the Clavicle. Not that that's big news or anything, but still, it makes the need to escape even more powerful.

Cap and I are alone because Isy-tron sister-napped Clary to go...train, or make out, or play monopoly, or whatever the frak it is they actually do together. I'm not sure what their friendship is based on other than their mutual understanding of what it's like to have weird, exasperating, siblings.

Mom and Luke are hidden away somewhere probably not playing monopoly. Possibly coming up with a plan to escape the Institute I'm half hoping. They better not be making out. They've had eighteen years to do that. Now would not be the best time to start.

Blondie isn't around because Simon took him away for some 'male bonding'. I have no idea what that entails, but knowing Simon, I bet it involves The Avengers and coffee and possibly red vines. Or maybe blood now that Simon is an apprentice glitter ball. Blondie silently begged me to save him from Simon, but I pretended to be looking at my nails and not noticing his distress signals.

Cap didn't even pretend not to notice. He just stared at Blondie and did nothing to save his para-bottle-thai from Simon's pale clutches. Cap even waved sarcastically when Blondie shouted that we would both rue the day for not helping him. I think maybe my me-ness has rubbed off on Cap. How genuinely horrifying for everyone.

"It looks like a really big stick." I say to Cap, nodding at the Naruto Staph of mass destruction or whatever.

Cap narrow his eyes at me.

"Just pick up yours and stop being ridiculous. I'm actually trying to train you here."

"Pick my what?" I ask, playing dumb.

Cap's nostrils flare. We've been battling for about an hour and he's lost his patience and yelled at me five times already. I'm going for a sixth.

It's not that I don't appreciate Caps' help. I just have to keep our interaction light, because every single time we start properly sparring, we end up standing way to close to each other. Or, worse, Cap pins me to the ground, our bodies perfectly aligned and touching in all the right (wrong) places. We share breathe. We share heat. I can feel his heart thrumming right the way through to my own heart, as if the two are linked and in sync.

I'm determined not to kiss Cap again without talking to him about it first, but that's becoming increasingly difficult. We're both sweaty and kinda angry and full of tension, sexual or otherwise. At some point we're gonna break, and I'd rather we didn't just yet. I'm already confused enough as it is without adding to it by not being able to control myself. But I've never been this attracted to another person before. Not like this. Not on such a deep, meaningful, level.

It scares the ever living fuck out of me, no question.

Cap looks pointedly at my abandoned ninja stick of destiny blah blah blah.

"Pick it up." Cap says again.

"Nah, come on Cap, lets do hand to hand combat. See if you can beat me in a fist fight. Do they teach you how to fight all dirty and street around here?" I say, waggling my eyebrows teasingly.

Me: Well that's not helping brain. You fail. I am disappointed in you.

Brain: *airport music on full blast* What? I'm sorry, I can't hear you? What did you say?

Me: Just sit down and shut up.

Brain: Say something about his abs? Well, if you insist.

Me: NO! I FORBID IT!

Brain: I am brain! You shall never defeat me! Never!

"Ever, why are you muttering to yourself?" Cap asks me, his brows drawn together in a frown.

"I'm having an argument with my thoughts." I reply distractedly.

Cap opens his mouth as if to say something, but then he shakes his head and mutters to himself,

"Nope. Not even gonna go there."

Cap puts down Avatar: the last big stick and makes a waving hand gesture at me.

"What?" I snap at him. "Can't you see I'm in the middle of a conversation here?"

"With yourself." Cap says caustically. Like an asshole.

"I have some of my best arguments with myself." I sniff at him.

"Do you often do this in front of people? How the hell haven't you been committed yet?" Cap says in did belief.

"You can't commit what you can't catch." I say in a singsong voice.

Cap just stares at me. And then,

"I don't even know what to say to that." Pause. "Oh yeah I do. You don't run. I don't even think you can. I've seen you try."

I huff indignantly.

"I can run. I did it just this morning. You saw me. I ran."

"You skipped." Cap corrects. "Skipping is not running."

"Oh, right, who died and made you king of the Shadowpuppet running club?" I grouse.

"We don't have a running club." Cap says without any inflection at all.

"Then how do any of you learn how to run?" I ask.

"No one learns to run." Cap says. "You just...do it."

"That doesn't sound like a very solid training plan." I wrinkle my nose dispassionately. "Is that how they teach you how to fight demons? Do they just give you a weird knife one day and tell you to 'go kill it'?"

"Yes, that's exactly what happens." Cap says sarcastically. "And then when we turn twelve the Clave put us in an arena and we have to battle other children to the death."

"Ahha!" I point at him in triumph. "I knew those Hunger Games books I found in your room weren't Isy-tron's. You liar."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Cap says plainly.

"Who do you like better, Gale or Peeta?" I ask, ignoring him.

"I'm not talking about this with you." Cap says exasperatedly.

"I didn't ship either of them to be honest." I say, ignoring Cap again. "The only character I liked was Haymitch. But I still think The Hunger Games was a ripoff of Battle Royale, which is _awesome_!"

"The Hunger Games isn't a ripoff of Battle Royale, just because they have a similar premise doesn't mean that one was influenced by the other." Cap says defensively.

"Wow, secret fangirl alert." I say happily. "Does Blondie know this about you? I bet he does. I bet he hides your shameful secret love of The Hunger Games because that's what friend-husbands do for each other. Does Blondie secretly love a YA book series?"

"For the billionth and one time, Jace and I are not husbands by any definition." Cap sighs in the face of my expectant expression. "And yes, Jace really loves Harry Potter." Anticipating my next question he adds, "Isy likes Percy Jackson."

" _Excellent_." I say, making the Mr Burns finger wiggling motion. "Simon loves Lord of the rings. Clary secretly really liked the Twilight books. But don't tell her I told you. It's a source of shame for the entire family."

"How about you?" Cap asks curiously. "What YA book series do you like?"

I shrug one shoulder.

"I quite like the Immortal Gadgets series by Cassidy Clove."

"What's it about?" Cap asks.

"Well, the first book, Town of Ossein, is about a teenage boy named Cory Mckay who meets a group of part Dragon monster hunters by chance and then finds out he actually is one of them. When his father gets kidnapped by monsters Cory teams up with the other Nightwarriors to save him and he helps them to retrieve the stolen Immortal bowl. Cory falls in love with one of the Nightwarriors named Chase. But then it turns out that Chase is actually his fraternal twin. Pretty crazy, huh."

"Ever." Cap says slowly.

"Yeah?" I say.

"Does any of that sound vaguely...familiar to you?" Cap asks.

I shake my head.

"Nope. Why?"

Cap squints thoughtfully for a second, but then he scowls and says,

"No reason. I had an idea, but it's slipped away from me."

"Ah, well." I say comfortingly, "It can't of been that important if you forgot it so easily."

Cap nods in agreement.

"Yeah, I guess."

Huh, weird.

Move swiftly on...

I raise my fists and dance around Cap like Pop-eye.

"Put 'em up. Put 'em up." I chant.

"What?" Cap eyes me like he thinks I've gone insane. Insane- _ **er**_.

I make Ray-gun motions with my hands and pretend to shoot at Cap.

"Pew, pew. Pew, pew. Come on, lets do pistols at dawn or whatever."

"We don't have pistols." Cap responds dryly.

I stop dancing around and pierce him a mock glare.

"Ok, first of all, these aren't pistols." I say, holding up my hands, "They're Ray-guns. Hence the 'pew pew' noise. Pistols at dawn is just a saying. And secondly, why must you always ruin my fun times?"

"I don't like fun times. Especially yours. They usually end violently or ridiculously or both." Cap replies uncaringly.

"That is just sad. Very said. You are a sad, strange little man and you have my pity." I say, shaking my head at him.

"Are you quoting Toy Story at me?" Cap asks incredulously.

"You've actually _watched_ Toy Story? What kind sick world is this that you've watched Toy Story, but you've never been allowed to eat pizza?" I scoff.

"Pizza is unhealthy and I've been in training my whole life." Cap says. "Plus, it's not like pizza is all that great anyway."

I stare at him in horror and take a purposeful step backwards.

"Cap, for the sake of our friendship, I am going to pretend that you did not just utter those blasphemous words-"

"I don't think you know what 'blasphemous' means-"

"- _blasphemous_ words and move on to a different topic."

"Such as?" Cap asks, quirking one dark eyebrow at me.

"How I'm gonna totally kick your ass at hand to hand combat." I say with a smirk.

Cap smirks back at me, a dangerous glint to his eyes. It sends a shiver down my spine that I do my best to ignore. He readies his stance and growls,

"Bring it on, Fray."

...

"No, keep your stance steady, you're putting too much weight on your left side." Cap admonishes, his fists still raised defensively to ward off an attack.

From me.

I puff out a frustrated breathe and try to move the way Cap has been teaching me to for the last two hours. It seems that no matter what he does, or how he tries to explain it, I keep ending up in the same position; pinned beneath him.

When I decided to take Cap up on his offer to give me more private training, I had thought we'd be moving on to more advanced fighting techniques. But he still has me going through all the basics over and over again.

_And I keep failing at the basics, so maybe he has a point about me not being ready for the more dangerous stuff._

I tell the reasonable part of my brain to shut up for a minute so I can concentrate on kicking the crap out of Cap. For once.

I shift my feet, trying to better my position. Cap watches me with those steely blue eyes of his. Right now they look darker than usual as he concentrates on defending his face and body from my harsh attacks. His expression appears to be set in stone, as if he couldn't care less what my next move will be. But I know better. Cap is like a resting feline, waiting for the next perfect opportunity to strike.

Cap and I have moved out of the fighting ring and now we're sparring on the mats covering the training room floor. My feet are bare, and so are his. We're both wearing black tank tops. Cap has on black cargos, whereas I'm wearing tight black pants that Isy-tron lent to me.

I bring my leg forward and aim a swift kick at his stomach, but faster than I can process, Cap grabs hold of my ankle with one hand and throws me backwards. I manage to twist my body at the last second so I don't go down onto my ass. Instead I land in a crouch, and after taking half a second to adjust to the position, I throw myself back into the fight.

I aim another few kicks at Cap's stomach and thighs, never allowing Cap the chance to grab me again. In a real fight I know full well that Cap could beat me easily. Well, I didn't know that before, but after training with him for a few hours, and watching him fight others, I know how skilled he is.

I've seen Cap and Blondie spar. Plus Cap fighting Hodge before Hodge turned into a Valendouche fanboy. It was incredible to watch them spar. Blondie and Cap I mean. They were both so fast and precise and undeniably ferocious, it was like watching two gladiators do battle. I was captivated by it, their movements and the barely restrained power behind those movements.

No matter how fast I am, or at which angle I come at him from, Cap always manages to deflect my kicks. I dance backwards suddenly when Cap's fist seemingly comes out of nowhere and jabs me in the ribs. I let out a grunt as pain explodes in my side.

I know that if he had wanted to Cap could have just broken a few of my ribs with that hit. But since this is meant to be mostly friendly sparring, Cap is holding back most of his real strength so he doesn't seriously injure me. Which is most appreciated.

It makes me angry again though, and my frustration must show on my face because Cap actually says,

"Concentrate Fray. Don't let your emotions take over. If you do, then you've already lost."

That only serves to make me even angrier. I try to swallow the fury that erupts inside of me, but when Cap lands another two hits to my side and a harsh kick to my stomach that I just know would bruise if I weren't a Shadowpuppet, my temper flares.

I'm unable to stop myself as I aim an almost clumsy hit towards Cap's face. Cap doesn't even let my fist grace his jaw before he grabs hold of my arm and twists it violently, wrenching me around so my back hits his chest. Within the same moment Cap uses his ankle to hook around one of mine and takes my legs out from under me.

I go crashing down to the mat with another grunt of pain. I make a token struggle for escape, but Cap pins me with infuriating ease, his arms locking me in place beneath him. I think I even growl at him at one point like an angry wildcat.

Cap holds me still for another few, long moments, probably just to make a point. I can feel the raw, animalistic power strumming through his tightly muscled body. There isn't a scrap of wasted flesh on this boy. I know that for sure after hours of being pinned like this by Cap.

When he relaxes his hold, I let out a huff of air. Embarrassment floods through me.

But even though Cap has loosened his grip on my body he still remains on top of me. If it were anyone else, then I would tell him to shove off. Cap isn't anyone else.

Once again Cap's body lines up perfectly with mine, almost suspiciously so. Like fate wanted to fuck with us or something.

Cap lifts himself up a couple of inches so that he can look me in the eye. He watches me, gaze intent and hungry in a way that an innate part of me recognises. I feel the same hunger, the same intense need to touch and taste and burn under the joint weight of our longing for one another.

It doesn't even feel natural. What we have between us. It's like a spell has been cast, binding us together. For a moment I wonder if that's it, that someone, a Witch or a Warlock, had cast a spell on us when we weren't paying attention. But I can't think of anyone who would care enough to do so. Apart from Magnus, but he's more likely do it as a joke to amuse himself rather than for any nefarious purpose.

Cap traces my lips with the pad of his left thumb. His skin is warm and rough from training with weapons all the time. A zing of white hot heat, painful and satisfying, travels along the seam of my mouth. I part them slowly and nip at Cap's thumb. Cap makes a low, groaning sound deep in his throat. Another wave of sharp edged pleasure dances down through my body.

I feel as if I've become a live wire of energy. Like I could spark and explode at any moment.

The air between Cap and I is stifling and thick with a lust so strong that it defies reality. I can taste it on my tongue. I can feel it crackle just beneath my skin. I can see it plain as day in Cap's eyes reflected back at me. He wants it as much as I do. Wants me. With every fibre of his being.

Cap's groin in pressing into mine. I can feel the pure male heat of him between my legs and it makes me want to bite him. I lifts my legs to hook them around Cap's waist and pull him even closer to me. If we're gonna fuck everything up, then we might as well do it thoroughly.

Cap settles against me. I reach up a hand to run my fingers through his sweaty dark hair. It feels soft and grippable. I take note of that for later. If there is a later. I might combust if Cap actually kisses me. Maybe he will too. We could literally turn to dust and ash in the space of a few impossible seconds. The linger we stare at each other, the more likely that idea seems to me.

I let the back of fingers stroke down over Cap's cheek. His angular jaw tightens and I feel the muscles move and contract beneath my hand. I watch him for any signs that he doesn't want this. I try to ask myself if I actually want it too. A little voice in my head screams that we're not exactly hidden out here on the training mat. Anyone could come in and see us. Blondie could. And that would be terrible in so many ways.

I'm about to voice this concern to Cap, but before I can get the words out, Cap's lips descend on mine. His mouth is hot and rough on mine. Cap kisses me like this is the last and only time he'll ever _get_ to kiss me. He kisses me like he's been waiting his whole life for it. Like he's gonna lose his fucking mind if he doesn't taste the inside of my mouth at least once. Cap is one hundred percent in control of this kiss. I'm just along for the ride.

I open up for him and slide my tongue along his. It's wet and messy and _stupid_ and unbelievably incredible.

Cap and I breathe in tandem, sharing air in the form of panted moans. We hurt and scratch and **_ache_**.

I feel Cap's kiss down to the very core of my being, and the after shocks cause my resolve to shatter and my bones to melt and my nerve endings to shudder. To _burn_. It isn't a pleasant flicker of flame beneath my skin either. In fact the sensation hurts. It hurts badly enough that no sane person would be able to stand it for long.

I wonder if this is the living version of a piece of paper being set on fire. The edges curling into black breakable husks. Fire eating the very heart of the paper, turning everything in its path to ash and dust.

Cap and I are ash and dust, waiting to be taken away by the cold, icy, wind of heartbreak.

Cap gasps suddenly, tearing his lips away from mine. He whispers breathlessly against my mouth,

"I want-I shouldn't, but I do-I want you so bad I think I could die from it." He lets out a shuddering breathe of pure painful emotion. "Is that normal? I don't think it is. I don't think anything about this is normal." He locks eyes with me then and I choke on a sob at the look of honest fear and confusion on his face.

"I'm not supposed to feel this way." I tell him brokenly. "Not about anyone. Especially you." Oh, fuck me, _especially you_ , Alec.

"I know. Neither am I." Cap says, jaw tight again with barely concealed frustration. His eyes flash dangerously as he goes on, "But that doesn't stop me from wanting you anyway. It should. But it doesn't. It fucking _doesn't._ All of the reasons why not, and they're good God damn reasons, don't even matter at all when you're alive and breathing and right fucking here with me."

I suck in a painful gasp and close my eyes tight. Not to hide. But it's too hard to look at him and not feel every single stupid thing I shouldn't be feeling.

"I'm afraid, Alec." I whisper, forcing the words out. "Part of me wants to give you everything. But I can't. I can't because I'm not built that way, and-" And I still want Jace. But I'm never saying that out loud ever again for as long as I live. Not to Cap, not to anybody.

"I can't give you everything either." Cap says honestly. "I already gave part of myself away a long time ago."

"I know that too." I say, because, as strange at it may seem, Cap and I will always be bound together by our connection to Jace.

There's nothing left to say. Not yet. Not with so much unresolved.

Cap and I look at each other for another long, intense, minute, and then we let go.

We let go, because it's the only thing we know how to do right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone for reading! xx


	20. Extras Vs Attack Pandas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do NOT own Shadowhunters. Or The Mortal Instruments. The only thing I own in this fic is my character 'Ever'.

"There's a clear pattern." Stoneface says. "Young, strong, highly skilled fighters. All abducted from dojos, boxing clubs and gyms. Valentine must have realised that even with the Mortal cup, creating Shadowhunters isn't easy. He needs mundanes who are more likely to survive the conversion." Her constipated facial expression turns even more constipated. If we were friends then I would totally go scout around for some laxatives to give her. But we are not friends. So no poop pills for Stoneface. Ok well now my brain has imagery that it did not need. Go brain!

According to our intel, that comes from _who_ I have no fucking idea, Sex Gnomes United or the Sparkly Crew maybe, Valendouche has been machonapping ninja wannabes in the hopes of turning them into Shadowpuppets. Oh deep joy. Because what this world really needs is a load of jocks hopped up on Shadow magic dust or whatever the frak its called. Like steroids, but stupider. And perhaps more deadly-ish.

Everyone in the Institute is gathered for the update from Stoneface. Cap keeps calling it a 'briefing', like we're all FBI secret agents or some shit. I really hope the FBI's briefings are more interesting. And less dumb. And also there are a lot of people up in this bitch who I don't know apparently. Like who are all these random mofos who I've never spoken to. How is it possible that I've only conversed with Blondie, Isy-tron, Captain dream boat and blah blah blah but none of these other motherfuckers.

I may need to set up a Get To Know You meeting with everyone who up to this point have just been extras who exist on the fringes of my storyline.

Hell, you know what, I'm bored enough to care, lets start on that right now.

I lean forward and poke one of the many random assholes who I don't know currently gathered in the main room of the Institute. I don't like the word 'Institute'. I think I might change it to 'Shadowlair'. I did briefly consider 'Shadowcave', but Simon pointed out that Batman was already using that one, so there might end being copyright issues.

Anyways, back to making new friends. Or inducting new minions. Whichever you prefer. Same thing though really. I am the Mary-sue super special snowflake of this story after all, and therefore nothing but my comfort and personal angst matters in the end. I said this to Cap and Blondie right before this super boring gathering of the random Shadowpuppets. Cap just sputtered for a solid five minutes before turning to Blondie, tipping his head at me, and saying "Think about this next time you start to wish she wasn't your sister."

I was supremely offended. Simon, Clary and Isy-tron, however, laughed for about a million years right in my face. The bastards. I disowned and shunned them all.

Simon is no longer here to be shunned by me though because he was packed off on a mission by Grandfather Willow. His highly classified mission is to go all undercover with the Sparkly Crew and find out what their kill-all-mundanes status is. And by 'highly classified' I mean everyone knows about it because Simon told me and Clary and we told Blondie, Isy-tron and Cap who are the only people who would care.

Long story short, the Vamps have been acting more fang happy than usual lately, so Simon has been sent in as a secret double agent to see what the hell their problem is.

Random-ass Guy I Just Poked turns to look at me with a deep frown on his face. I am relieved to find that he is actually real and not a figment of my imagination as I half suspected he might be since neither Blondie nor Isy-tron seemed to know anyone apart from us either when I asked them. I wasn't surprised that Cap had no idea who any of these extras are, because obviously Cap hates all people. I wouldn't put it past him to mentally block out the existence of everyone else just so he wouldn't have to pretend to care about or socialise with any of them.

He's such an emo waiting to happen, seriously. If Cap wasn't a Shadowpuppet I just know that he'd be one of those kids who wear eyeliner and paint their nails black and always have their equally black hoods up and let their really long dyed black fringes grow until it covers their nose so that it looks like they don't have one, which is why all emos look like the spawn of Voldemort and Golem.

OH MY **DUCK** -Voldemort and Golem gay sex imagery! Noooo! Abort! Abort! Ahhhhhhhhhh!

"Can I help you?" Random-ass Guy I Just Poked asks me, not looking at all pleased about it either.

My mind is still dealing with something far more important though.

"Where do you think Voldemort and Golem would go on their first date?" I ask Random-ass Guy I Just Poked.

These are the kinds of questions that plague me in general life.

Random-ass Guy I Just Poked pretty much chokes on oxygen and _nothing_ right in front of me. Oh great, he's another drama queen just like Blondie and Cap. I mean, really, it was a simple enough question, there's no need to flop around and die about it.

"WHAT?!" Random-ass Guy I Just Poked all but screeches at me. He's very big and muscley so his screeching sounds funny. He's also very blond as well. Even his eyebrows are blond. I really should have considered that before approaching him.

I poke Screechy #Random-ass Guy I Just Poked again and say " _Beep_.". Just cus. It felt right in the moment. There's something about poking big guys and making a 'beep' sound that has always amused me greatly. I don't know why, I think it's one of those weird human things that make no sense unless you're me.

I pull a face at Screechy and hold my hands up placatingly,

"Jeez, dude, I only wanted to know what your opinions were on Voldemort's romantic tastes. Personally I believe that Voldemort would take Golem ice skating. I feel like that's what they would do on a first date."

"I don't know what's happening." Screechy says, looking very confused. "Why is this happening? Was I drugged? Because I feel like maybe I was drugged."

"Don't do drugs." I say to him. "Stay in school."

" _It's still happening_." Screechy whispers, clearly horrified about something. I have no idea what though.

"Are you alright Screechy? Are you having a mental breakdown? Do you need a soda? Or an ice cream? That usually helps me when I'm feeling sad." I say comfortingly. I may have accidentally poked the one extra who has a screw or six loose. Why do I always choose the weird ones? That's how Simon and I became friends actually.

Screechy goes yammering on about nonsense. "Oh by the angel, why is this moment _still happening_?"

"Don't worry, Screechy, I'll get you an ice cream. Ice cream solves any and all problems." I say, already turning away to go and find ice cream. There must be some around here. I refuse to believe that Shadowpuppets can survive without access to ice cream.

"I don't want ice cream." Screechy says.

I shake my head at him. Clearly the man is delusional. No one sane would ever say something that ridiculous.

I grab hold of Screechy's hand and say,

"Everything is going to be ok. Just hold on for me. We'll fix this. I know a fabulous man who wears glitter eyeshadow, he'll be able to help you. Lets go."

I start to pull Screechy away from the crowd. Unfortunately that is when my friends/siblings decide to bust in on my new friend making session and 'save' Screechy.

"Ever, stop traumatising that innocent bystander right now." Cap demands. He reaches over and removes my hand from my new friend's arm. God, he's so bossy. And hot. And annoying. I hope he gets eaten by a flock of pandas. I wouldn't have to worry about wanting to kiss him stupid every time I see him if he became panda chow.

I wonder where you could get pandas from. Is there some kind of site where you can buy them? I feel like that should be a thing that exists. I couldn't have just normal pandas though. I would need special assassin pandas. That definitely has to be a thing, right? Who else would panda mob bosses go to if they wanted one of their enemies taken care of?

I turn back to Screechy and ask,

"Do you know anyone who breeds attack pandas?"

Screechy's eyes widen and he takes a huge step back away from me. Weird.

"I am so sorry." Clary says to a still bewildered Screechy. "We tried keeping her in a box, but she just kept escaping."

Damn right I did. No box could hold me! Beware of my box escaping skills puny mortals! Mwah ha ha ha ha ha! You shall never defeat me, NEVER!

Wait, what's happening?

"I was only trying to help my new friend by taking him to Maggie the magnificent so that he could heal Screechy with the powers of ice cream and alcohol." I say defensively.

"She's like a dinosaur." Blondie says to Screechy, nodding his head at me. "Just stay really, really, still and hopefully she'll think you aren't there."

"Blondie, stop talking about dinosaurs." I whack his arm. "There are far more important things to be talking about right now. Like attack pandas."

"Why would you need attack pandas?" Isy-tron asks me in confusion.

"Don't encourage it." Both Blondie and Cap say at the same time.

I ignore them. Well, sort of. I slap them both upside the head, and _then_ I ignore them.

"Thank you for asking, Isy-tron." I say sweetly. "I would need attack pandas to dispatch my enemies and remove the evidence of their demise by eating them."

"I don't think pandas eat people." Isy-tron points out thoughtfully.

"Exactly!" I say. "No one would expect it, that's the point."

"But what would the pandas get out of it?" Blondie asks. "Why would they eat people if they don't want to?"

"I would pay them with top quality bamboo, obviously." I scoff. Because _duh_.

"Where would you get the bamboo from?" Cap asks. "And what's the difference between good bamboo and standard bamboo?"

"Of course, you would want to get all technical about it and take all the fun out of panda assassins." I say, rolling my eyes.

"I could get behind attack pandas." Cap says thoughtfully. "But I think it'd be easier just to get a tiger or something."

"There's no such thing as attack tigers, Cap." I say incredulously. "Get your head out of your ass and join the rest of us in reality. God."

"Tigers wouldn't need to be trained to attack." Cap argues, seemingly against his will and better judgement. "They already come preprogramed _to_ attack. They're predators by nature."

"Oh well, _excuse_ me, Doctor Captain dream boat. I didn't realise you were a _Tigerologist_. Many apologies for my lack of knowledge about the murder habits of tigers." I say sarcastically.

"Tigerologists aren't a thing." Cap says hotly. "I _refuse_ to believe that being a Tigerologist is a thing."

"Of course it's a thing!" I say. "How else would we know so much about tigers if there aren't any Tigerologists studying them?"

"You _don't_ know anything about tigers." Cap points out.

"That's because I'm neither a Tigerologist or a tiger enthusiast like _you_." I snap back.

"I am not a tiger enthusiast!" Cap growls angrily. "I don't even know what that _means_. I don't know what anything you say means, you complete lunatic!"

"At least I'm not a pandaphobe!" I snarl at him.

"That is _not_ a word. Stop making up things! Stop it right now." Cap fumes, all grouchy, which is way sexier than it should be.

I realise belatedly that Cap and I have inadvertently moved slowly closer and closer during our argument. Now we're practically in each others face, inches apart, so very much within accidental touching distance. I can feel his warm mint scented breathe on my face, and his eyes are wide and sparking like two pieces of ice encasing a blue flame. Which makes no sense, but there it is anyway. And Cap's looking at me like he can't decide whether to kiss me or challenge me to some kind of Shadow duel.

For fucks sake, how does this keep _happening_?

"Why does your breathe smell all minty and stuff?" I ask him. Because these questions are important. I can tell you for free that I do not always have nice smelling breathe. Old hook ups of mine after a night of partying can attest to that. No one human has minty fresh breathe twenty-four-seven. Its one of those impossible things that are universally known but never spoken about.

"There's this new thing." Cap replies dryly, "It's called toothpaste. Perhaps you've heard of it. Feel free to give it a try sometime."

"Cap, are you being disparaging about my use of dental hygiene products?" I say, in a mock offended voice.

"Yes." Cap says, sounding plain old droll now. "I am. I disparage everything about you. Deeply."

"Liar." I challenge. "You like me. You like me so much that you want to carve our names into a tree with the letters BFFL carved underneath them so that we will officially be declared as Best Friends For Life."

"I would never do that." Cap argues with a snort of derision.

"You want to though." I needle.

"I have no interest in a defiling a tree with lies." Cap scoffs. "I tolerate you, Ever, and that's as far as it goes."

"I feel a deep and all-consuming like for you too, Cap." I say.

Cap rolls his eyes dramatically, but he can't hide the smile that forms on his face. I smile back at him. We smile at each other. Like weirdoes.

"Oh my fuck, just get _married_ already." Isy-tron says exasperatedly.

"You guys are being gross right now. Like seriously. The way you keep looking at each other is making my teeth hurt." Clary says, wrinkling her nose at us.

"You heard Cap." I say to her. "He advocates toothpaste. Plus, I'm not the one who got caught making out with Isy-tron in a closet last night."

Clary glares at me and says with a flat unimpressed tone,

"When you saw us you screamed, dropped to the floor and started shouting," Clary puts on an exaggerated imitation of my voice, "'MY EYES! OH FOR THE LOVE OF JELLY BABIES MY EYES! NOOOO!"

I sniff in a dignified-at-all-times way.

"I was in shock. Think about how your display of sexual exploration scarred me. I'm probably fucked up now."

"You can't blame your fucked upness on me. You were already like that when I met you." Clary says, her cheeks turning pink. Isy-tron just looks smug as hell standing next to her.

"You met me _in the womb_ , Clare." I say.

"Yeah, exactly. It was already too late by then." Clary says.

"Hold on," Blondie raises a hand to get our attention. "Since when did Clary and Izzy become a thing?"

"We _aren't_ a thing." Clary says, obviously embarrassed.

"We are _definitely_ a thing." Isy-tron says, winking at Clary, who proceeds to blush even further. She doesn't, however, argue back. Isy-tron and Clary share a look that speaks volumes, and shares way too much with their surrounding siblings.

"I can't believe I'm the one who had the big gay crisis and then you go off and be all gay without even caring." Cap grumbles at Isy-tron.

" _Had_? Is that over now then?" Isy-tron asks, arching an eyebrow at her brother.

"Um. Well. Uh. I don't really...ugh." Cap groans and runs a frustrated hand through his hair. I don't miss the glance he shoots at Blondie. Neither does Isy-tron. Her expression becomes a mixture of amused and concerned.

"Its not like you have to decide anything right this second, Cap." I say gently. "Besides sexuality is weird, and not as easily defined as some people like to believe."

"How did this conversation go from attack pandas to the levels of gayness in our group?" Blondie ponders out loud.

"We should probably be focusing on this whole Valendouche thing." I say in agreement even though, bleh, Valendouche.

" _What even are you people_?" I hear Screechy whisper. He sounds genuinely horrified.

I'd honestly forgotten that he was even there. Whoops. My bad.

I turn to look at Screechy and wave at him. From two feet away. Because waving at people you've traumatised is the polite thing to do. My friends/siblings follow suit and wave at Screechy. In unison.

Screechy shuffles backwards a few steps, spares us another disturbed glance, and then runs away.

I think we can all agree that I _Boss_ at this whole making new friends thing.

...

"So, what's the emergency?" Magnus looks up at us from one of his ornate sofas with an amused glint in his eyes.

Simon came back to the Institute all panicked because Captian sparkles threatened him. Apparently Simon accidentally gave Grandfather Willow the idea that Captain sparkles a.k.a Raphael was the one speer heading the unrest between Vamps and mundanes. Captain sparkles was not pleased and told Simon he had to find the Vamp who's actually responsible. Camille.

Since we have no idea where to actually find Camille, I suggested going to the one person who probably knows her best. Maggie the magnificent.

Isy-tron and Cap have been sent out to do the Institute's bidding by staking out fighting dens for signs of Valendouche. Since Blondie, Clary and I are on the Do Not Trust Because They Are The Evil Spawn Of Valentine list, I volunteered us to go help Simon with his problem. If I can't be out there hunting down my doucheclock of a father, then at least I can help my friend.

"We need to know where your ex-bitch-girlfriend is hiding out." I say.

"Yeah, and we figured you know her better than most people." Simon says.

"I know her better than anyone." Magnus says. He gets up from the sofa and goes to make himself a drink, a plan I am fully on board with as long as I get one too.

"So you can help us find her?" Blondie asks.

" _Find_ her." Magnus scoffs at us. "Why would you want to find her?"

"Well, destroying her would be pretty great." I say, not able to keep the anger out my voice.

"You do not want to mess with Camille." Magnus says. "Especially since she has a big revenge fetish."

"You think she's probably still pissed about the blackmail thing." Clary summarises.

"No, not probably." Magnus corrects. "Definitely. She'll want to kill each and every one of you for your slight against her. Seriously. I forgot her six hundred and seventh birthday and she still-"

"We can forget about Simon's nineteenth birthday if you don't help us." Blondie interrupts.

Simon gives Blondie a shocked look.

"Gee, thanks for the optimism Skywalker." He says sarcastically.

"Does that make Valentine Darth Vader?" Clary questions Simon's use of the Star wars nickname for Blondie.

"Yes." Simon says thoughtfully, "But to be honest I more meant that Jace was Luke Skywalker because they both had a thing for their sister and-"

"Simon!" I admonish, even though that is pretty funny.

"Why am I even helping you?" Blondie asks, whilst glaring at Simon.

"Because after our guy bonding you realised that we are inevitably going to become friends." Simon says, grinning at Blondie.

"Guy bonding?" Magnus asks, looking between Blondie and Simon with renewed interest.

"Not that kind of guy bonding!" Blondie growls.

Magnus holds his hands up and shoots me a sly look that I return with a 'I dunno, boy stuff' shrug.

"So can you help us or not?" Clary asks Magnus, looking desperate to return our attention to the actual problem at hand. She probably doesn't want to talk about our real life brother guy-bonding (whatever the hell that entails) with our pseudo brother. I'm with her on that score actually. Simon and Blondie can keep their probably-platonic bromance secrets.

Magnus smirks at us, exuding pure awesomeness as always.

"Fine. I'll help you to be suicidal idiots. But I want something from you in return."

"Name it." I say quickly, before Magnus can change his mind.

Magnus points at Simon.

"I want some of his hair. I've been running low on vampire hair lately."

Simon's eyes widen and slaps both hands onto his head, covering his hair.

"Ohhh," I say excitedly, "Will you make a voodoo doll with it? Because that would be so cool. Can you make him do the chicken dance?"

Simon frowns at me and Magnus.

"No way in hell." He says. "Look, I'll put up with your magic mugs and magic tattoos and magic portals and drinking blood and being dead and all that other crap. But I am drawing the line at voodoo. No voodoo!"

"Calm down, vampire boy." Magnus says, rolling his eyes. "I just need it for a potion. Nothing to do with voodoo."

Simon narrows his eyes suspiciously at Magnus, but eventually concedes.

"What's a chicken dance?" Blondie asks me whilst Simon is cutting off bits of his hair for Magnus.

I grin at him gamely and reach over to pat his hand, which proves to be a mistake. An undeniable flicker of heat travels across the nerve endings in my hand at the contact. Damn it. I can't wait for that reaction to piss off and die. It's making things awkward for me and Blondie. How can we hope to act like proper siblings if every time we touch each other we feel an instant attraction? A need to get closer in a way the majority of siblings wouldn't even consider. It's such bullshit.

"You'll understand when you're older." I say to Blondie, trying to play off my instinctive response to the flash of pure longing that burns bright in his eyes for a brief moment when our gazes lock.

"I'm not sure if I want to." Blondie replies gravely, and get the succinct feeling that he isn't talking about the chicken dance.

Neither am I when I say,

"Yeah, that probably isn't the right thing to hope for."

Blondie's jaw tightens and he looks away, seeming to have to drag his eyes from my face with more force than there should be.

I feel like Blondie and I have been falling down the rabbit hole ever since we met, and that we just don't know how to get a grip and _stop falling_.

It's almost the exact opposite to how I feel when I'm with Cap. He and I aren't falling. We're flying.

Falling. Flying. Either way I know we'll all end up getting hurt when we hit the ground.

...

 _Aaaaannnnd_ I've been kidnapped. Good. I haven't been kidnapped in at least a week. I was beginning to miss the sensation of fear that came along with it.

Or more accurately, Blondie, Clary and I have been kidnapped. From India. I was just getting used to the fact that Magnus had portaled the four of us to India in search of Camille when an undead Dot appeared out of nowhere and pounced on Clary. She dragged Clary into a portal and I followed after them. Blondie grabbed hold of me and got pulled in too.

Clearly our united sibling rescue skills are going to need some serious work.

When we come out on the other side of the portal we're obviously on some kind of ship. There are metal cages hanging from the ceiling and the sound of people shouting in either outrage or pain coming from all directions. The inside of the ship is dingy and, frankly, looks like the set of a Saw movie.

"Wait." Clary says, looking around slowly. "This is Valentine's ship, isn't it?"

"Ding ding ding!" I announce. "Gold star to Clare-bear. Yes, this is probably our bio-dad's creepy ass boat of doom."

Blondie is still holding onto my arm, and he doesn't seem likely to let go any time soon. And I am just fine with that considering the current situation. I should probably tie myself to Clary with a chain or something in case she tries to run off.

"We need to get out of here. Now." Blondie says, all traces of humour gone from his voice. He's dead serious right now, and I can't blame him.

"I've brought you here so you can speak with your father." Undead Dot says. "Soon you'll understand. He's a misunderstood man."

"He's a murderer." Clary says.

"He's a psychopath." Blondie says.

"He's a NGBT." I say.

Blondie and Clary both stare at me with matching expressions of 'wtf'. It's the first time they've legitimately looked like siblings.

I roll my eyes at them a clarify.

"He's a No Good Twatwaffling Butthead."

Clary and Blondie then proceed to share long suffering sighs at my expense, which, ok, _rude_.

"This is war." Undead Dot snaps at us. She looks earnestly at each of us in turn. "I want you all to see something."

"Uhhhhh, nah." I say, shuffling away from Undead Dot. I snag hold of Clary's hand and drag her back with me. Blondie is still standing at my side with his hand wrapped around my arm. "We're good, thanks." I add, forcing a smile at Undead Dot.

Undead Dot ignores this and goes on.

"There are things you can do as a Shadowhunter, but there's so much more that all three of you are capable of."

"Ummm, I'm with Ever, we're still gonna go with _no_." Clary says, with a surprising amount of calm.

"Come with me." Undead Dot says, apparently continuing to ignore out protests.

Undead Dot turns and starts climbing a metal staircase that probably leads to outer part of the ship. It's for this reason only that I decide to actually follow her. Anything to get away from the creatures snarling at us from their metal cages. Clary seems as eager to escape the inside of the ship.

Blondie still looks reluctant, but he comes with us anyway.

Undead Dot leads us outside, and I immediately feel better being able to breathe in fresh air. She takes us to farthest side of the boat. But before I can ask what was so important that she needed to show us out here, Undead Dot lurches forward suddenly towards Clary. She places her fingers on either side of Clary's forehead and says,

"Let me show you."

I gasp when Clary's eyes start glowing red. The black veins on Undead Dot's face turn red as well and almost seem to hum with power.

"Stop!" I shout, yanking Clary away from Undead Dot.

Clary stumbles back, choking out pained breathes as she almost collapses against me. I hold her close, keeping us both standing. Blondie pulls us behind him, placing himself between Undead Dot and me and Clary.

"Stay _away_ from them." Blondie warns darkly.

"Dot. Please." I plead from over Blondie's shoulder. "Whatever Valentine's done to you, we can fix it. Just help us get out of here and we'll-"

"Oh, don't tell me you want to leave so soon." Valentine appears out of thin fucking air, scaring the shit out of. How the hell does he _do_ that?

Valentine comes over to us with that same slightly manic look on his face that he had on the last time I faced him. This guy is definitely one pancake short of a teletubbie, that's for sure.

"What have you done to Dot?" Clary demands, having apparently recovered from whatever Unead Dot did to her.

Valentine's eyes flicker from me, to Clary, and eventually come to rest on Blondie. Blondie and Valentine stare each other down for an almost awkward amount of time.

"I haven't done anything to Dot." Valentine tells Clary, without looking away from Blondie. "She's simply learned what happens when you try to fight the inevitable."

Undead Dot looks at the ground. Defeated.

Valentine smiles at Clary.

"Ah, Clarissa, it's good to see you again. I've missed you since you left. We were just starting to get to know one another."

"You're insane." Clary hisses back at him, eyes full of rage and disgust. "I know what you do to Downworlders. I know how you experiment on them. That's what you did to Dot, isn't it?"

"Such fire, Clarissa." Valentine mocks. But his eyes slip back over to Blondie. "So much like your mother."

"Hey, crazy pants, back off of my sister." I snarl at him. "And stop creepily staring at my, um, brother."

I move closer to Blondie, keeping my arm around Clary as well so that all three of us are standing together.

"Ah, ah, Everlyna, don't be so insolent." Valentine warns with a sharp edge to his voice. "I was so happy to see all three of my children in the same place for the first time. Now we can finally be a family. I've been dreaming of this day for a long time."

"Whatever you're planning," Blondie says, ignoring Valendouche's vast creepiness, "it won't work. Because I will do whatever it takes to stop you."

" _We_ will do whatever it takes to wreck your evil bullshit plot." I correct, reaching down to squeeze Blondie's hand. I glare at Valentine. "Because you're right about one thing. The three of us _are_ family. And together we _will_ defeat you."

With Blondie and Clary at my side, I feel the truth of this right down to my bones. No matter what happens from here on out, we will fight to bring down our insane father and protect the people we love.

I look up at Blondie, and he looks down at me. And in that moment, we know, we share one truth, one goal, one choice.

Almost in unison, Blondie and I both shout,

"RUN!"


	21. Fire Extinguisher To The Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rock, paper, fire extinguisher.
> 
> Bring it on fluffy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all the people who commented, you really are amazing.

This whole being a Shadowpuppet thing is really starting to become a royal pain in my ass.

I just wanted that on the record.

"Ever!" Blondie grabs hold of my shoulder as I suck in a harsh breathe. My mouth tastes like salt water, which is the very epitome of bleh.

Long story short, Blondie, Clary and I all jumped off of Valendouche's evil lair cruise ship and landed in the cold water below. We didn't really have much of a plan past that split second decision, so the next however long was spent desperately trying to both stay together and swim away from Valendouche.

Satan's only knows how much time has passed, but it's daylight now, which is one plus.

I'm on my knees in the sand, water still lapping at my feet. I choke on another breathe, trying to tamp down the nausea now roiling inside my stomach. I'm soaked through, but thanks to the sun beating down on the beach I don't feel cold anymore. Stringy locks of hair block my view and I use one hand to brush them aside, pushing my hair back and away from my face.

Blondie tries to steady me, and I allow myself to lean on him as I stand up shakily. Once I'm firmly on my feet I sway a bit, my equilibrium having been thrown way off by being shoved around by the tide for so long. Blondie wraps an arm around my waist and holds me against his side. He doesn't seem all that strong on his feet either, so I return the half hug gesture, hoping that the two of us will have a better shot of staying vertical.

"Ever." Blondie says my name again. He sounds slightly less panicked this time, but the urgency is still there. "Are you alright?" He asks, fear and frustration clear in his voice.

"Apart from feeling like I just lost a fight with a waterbender, I'm great, thanks for asking Blondie." I say wryly. I turn my head to look at him. He's got one of those intense frowny faces going on right now. I find myself unable to break eye contact once our gazes have locked. I force myself to ask a bit more gently, "How about you? Are you ok?"

Blondie appears pained for a moment, his expression turning strained. He answers neutrally,

"Not really, no."

Score one for honesty.

"Yeah, yeah, I feel like shit too." I say, leaning in closer to Blondie, allowing our foreheads to press together. I would feel uncomfortable if I could be bothered, but fortunately I've run out of fucks to give about appropriate ways to behave with my new brother.

Blondie's body stiffens for a second, before relaxing again. He tugs me tighter against his side and I abruptly attempt to turn, having decided to just give in completely. Blondie's grip on me tightens, probably assuming that I'm trying to pull away, until he realises what I'm actually doing. Blondie lets me move so that I can wrap my arms around his waist. He doesn't hesitate to gather me up in his arms and hold me in a intimate embrace that we'll both likely regret later.

As for right now though, it feels indescribably good to be this close to Blondie. I bring my head back far enough so that we can look at each other. There's a raw ache in Blondie's eyes that scares me. Mostly because what I see in Blondie's eyes mirrors my own confusing emotions perfectly. Blondie presses his forehead to mine again, and I let him even though I know this has gone on for too long already.

I can feel Blondie's warm breathe against my face. It smells like sea water. Fresh and salty. I think we're both breathing harder than we were before. Puffs of air are mingling and mixing together in the small space between my mouth and his. I try to remember all the many, many, reasons why Blondie and I aren't allowed to do this, but my brain has stopped working at full capacity.

Blondie trails one hand up my back to slide around and cup my face. He keeps his other arm wrapped tightly around my waist. Blondie's thumb strokes along my jawline, and I'm unable to control my instinctive reaction to him. A far too breathy sound escapes my mouth and I struggle to temper the shocks of pinpricked heat that flare to life wherever Blondie touches my bare skin.

Tension builds whilst Blondie basically caresses my face and I let him. That's the stupid part. I _let him_. I want to end this, to prevent us from taking another step down this dangerous, screwed up, path we've set ourselves on. But I don't want to let go enough for it to matter. I can't force the words of protest out of my mouth. All the reasons _why not_ keep turning to ash inside my head. It's like they don't even matter when I'm here, and he's here, and the whole universe feels like it's so fucking far away.

I let one of my hands stray up and into Blondie's hair. Very quickly my fingers get tangled up in the wet, messy, strands. Blondie inhales a sharp breathe when I start to knead the back of his head gently.

Blondie tucks a loose curl of my own hair back behind my left ear. His touch is so careful, so intimate and loving, that it breaks my heart just a little. It hurts to be wanted- _needed_ -like this. With a power that engulfs every single molecule. Every breathe. Every inch of skin and bone and shred of another person's soul.

It occurs to me then that Blondie's touches are a world away from Cap's. Cap touches me like he wants to consume me, the same way a fire would consume a forest. Our attraction is lightning intense and dangerous in all the worst and best ways.

Blondie touches me like the world might shatter into a million pieces if he ever has to stop.

In truth, the world would be fine. I know that we're barely a blip on the world's radar really. But I also know that allowing ourselves to have what we want- _need_ -from each other would eventually break us in ways we'd never fully recover from. Because one day it would go too far and the resulting pain would be too damn hard to live with.

Blondie's fingers brush along my throat, two of them stopping at my pulse. He presses those two fingers against my pulse point, as if needing to feel the beat of my life under his hand. I can feel his chest rising and falling against my own, which is doing the same at a slightly more rapid pace now.

For an extended moment, Blondie feels vital, like I can't breathe without him standing this close to me. Touching me. Invading my space so thoroughly.

Missing parts of me click into place and I tell myself it's because he's my brother. I feel connected to him because he's my blood, my family. I tell myself I would feel the same way about Clary.

Even as I think these things I know, in my heart, that I'm a complete fucking liar.

"I'm sorry." Blondie whispers, his lips now mere inches away from mine.

"Yeah." I murmur. "Me too."

I don't know exactly what we're apologising to each other for, because there are too many things that are fucked up between us. But I guess it doesn't really matter. Because I am sorry. For all of it. Which will have to be good enough for now.

Wait-hold on a sec...where the hell is Clary? She should so totally be making snarky comments in the background about my incestuous obsession with Blondie. Clary would have broken the mood ages ago. It's not at all like her to be considerate about my emotional well-being.

I pull away from Blondie, finally able to put actual distance between us. Blondie looks both confused and hurt until I say,

"Jace, please tell me my twin is behind us making gagging motions or something."

Blondie's eyes widen almost comically. Panic flares to life in both of us as we fully disengage from each other and look around wildly, trying to see where our sister washed up on this expanse of beach.

My panic levels reach critical when I can't see her anywhere in the nearby vicinity. That is until my eyes lock on a body slumped over a bit further away down the beach.

Blondie and I both spring into action, running side by side towards a very still-looking Clary. Fear claws at my throat as I imagine finding my sister's dead body washed up on the shore.

But when I go down on knees beside the body I see instantly that it isn't Clary. Blondie kneels down on the other side of the distinctly female body and rolls her over. She's definitely dead, and I do vaguely recognise her, but that's about it. Blondie looks at me, a confused frown on his face, and I say,

"Who the frak is this?"

"She's a werewolf." Blondie says, then corrects himself, "She _was_ a werewolf."

"One of Luke's pack?" I ask, which still feels weird as fuck to say out loud.

"I think so, yeah." Blondie says. He seems distracted by whatever thoughts are ruminating inside his head.

I'm more worried about Clary. Somehow we lost her in the water and potentially she could have washed up anywhere. I refuse to contemplate the idea that she drowned. Clary's too stubborn to be taken out of the game that easily. Plus I'm still counting on her to be the triple 'S' of this story.

A.k.a the Super Special Snowflake.

I would feel much better being relegated to side character level.

"Do you think Valentine killed her?" Blondie says, and although he directs the question at me, I think he's talking mainly to himself. His eyes are still firmly planted on the dead werewolf girl.

I run a hand through my wet hair and blow out a frustrated breathe.

"Well unless Van Helsing suddenly decided to switch professions from vampire hunter to werewolf hunter, I think assuming our psycho father murdered she-wolf here is a good bet."

Blondie looks at me then, his eyes narrowing slightly.

"Will I ever be able to ask you a question and have you answer me without the added snark?"

I don't even have to think about that one.

"No." I say.

"You are impossible." Blondie mutters.

"Yeah, well, deal with it bitch." I reply drolly.

Blondie's jaw locks and he seems genuinely agitated when he says to me,

"Sometimes I really don't like you at all."

I pull a mock sadface and drawl,

"I am so saddened by that information that I cannot even begin to find the appropriate words that will adequately express the extent of my despair."

"I'm starting to see why you and Alec get along so well." Blondie says. "You're both dead pan sarcastic assholes."

I'm about to reply with something epically cutting when a random girl runner comes jogging past us on the beach. She slows down when she reaches us and it only takes her a few seconds to assess the situation as it stands with two weirdoes fighting over a dead body. Joggy Mgee takes out her phone and shouts something about calling the cops.

That is officially mine and Blondie's cue to fucking _leave_. Like right now.

Blondie snatches hold of my hand and yanks me up. He runs off, away from Joggy Mgee and Dead Girl Number Five, dragging me along with him. I only put up a token protest before allowing Blondie take us both out of the danger-of-getting-arrested-for-murder-zone.

...

"You two look like you could use a couple of drinks. And a few towels." The bartender says.

Blondie and I ran for as long as we could before exhaustion began to set in. I told Blondie that we needed to find the closest phone, and he agreed. This bar is the first place we could find that would hopefully let us use their phone looking like we do.

I raise my hand and say,

"Do you sell towels? Is it that kind of bar?"

"Could we make a call?" Blondie asks the bartender, completely cutting over my incredibly valid question. Asshole.

"Let me guess; your guys' phones got wet?" Bartender-girl says, one of her dark eyebrows raised firmly in question.

"Actually we lost them in a game of poker with a killer whale and a sea-turtle." I say. "God damn sea-turtles. They cheat at cards you know."

Bartender-girl’s eyes widen comically.

Blondie jerks his thumb at me and says,

"Don't listen to her. She's off her meds today."

I gasp dramatically and whack Blondie on the shoulder.

"Don't lie to the poor girl, Blondie." I look up at Bartende-girl and say, "Blondie and I are actually both off our meds and we're on the run from the local psychiatric hospital. We had to swim to freedom, that's why we're," I gesture our sodden clothing, " _you know_." I lower my voice a bit and add, "There was a capsized pedalo incident."

"You could not sound any weirder right now even if you actually tried." Blondie says, shaking his head at me.

"Challenge accepted!" I announce.

Blondie groans in regret.

Bartender-girl is staring at us like she might actually believe the psychiatric hospital story. Damn my lying skills are good. I should get a freakin' _Oscar_ one of these days.

I skip across the not-very-busy bar, beelining for the large phone on the wall. Blondie follows after me at a more subdued pace.

"Can we please use your phone?" I ask Bartender-girl. I poke the phone with one finger.

"I've heard that Shadowhunters are strange, but I didn't expect you guys to be _this_ strange." Bartender-girl says, still watching both me and Blondie warily like we might kick off a random musical number at any moment. Like in Mary-Poppins with the dancing penguins.

Blondie is immediately on alert and he places himself between me and Bartender-girl. I'm not sure why though. What is Bartender-girl gonna do? Throw a beer mat at me? Flick me in the eye with her glass-cleaning rag? I think not.

I peer over Blondie's shoulder at Bartender-girl and wave whimsically at her.

"Don't anger him." I say, gesturing at Blondie. "He's like one of those fluffy animated ninja bunnies. At first he's all cute and ugly, but then when you poke him on the nose suddenly he turns into a big meanie who throws ninja stars at people."

Blondie looks over his shoulder at me.

"How can I be both cute and ugly at the same time?"

"What? You've never looked at a tiny, ugly animal and thought it looked cute?" I say doubtfully.

"I don't spend a lot of time looking at tiny, ugly animals." Blondie says. "I'm usually pretty busy killing demons and stuff."

"Well maybe if you _did_ look at tiny, ugly/cute animals more instead of playing death tag with demons, then you might not be so unhappy and emo all the time." I say.

Blondie makes an exasperated sound. He gestures at me and says to Bartender-girl,

"You see this? This is the kind of crap I have to put up with on a daily basis now."

"Did you just compare me to ** _crap_**? How dare you!" I whack Blondie on the shoulder. "I will have your Shadowpuppet licence for this sir! My lawyer will take you down for slander!"

"You just called me unhappy and emo!" Blondie grouses.

I scoff.

"That is in no way the same. My insults are actually _true_. Makes all the difference."

Blondie and I are glaring at each other now. Stupid, blond, doucheclock. I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next! Probably this one though because I'm not a very patient person.

"Wow." Bartender-girl says, her eyes darting between us like she's watching a particularly weird tennis match take place. "You know some couples are cute. You two are just scary."

"She's not my girlfriend." Blondie says mutinously. "She's my _sister_." He spits the last word out like a curse. Rude. He turns on Bartender-girl, eyeing her suspiciously and adds, "And you're a werewolf."

Bartender-girl smirks a little and tilts her head in acknowledgement. Only then do I see the telltale scars on her neck. Definitely a werewolf.

"Typically the phone is for paying customers only." She says. "But you two look like you've been through some stuff, so...have at it."

Blondie leans over me to grab the phone. His cheek accidentally brushes against mine and that far too familiar attraction starts to simmer again. Blondie pauses, seemingly unable to stop himself. I struggle to rein in my natural reaction to his proximity. Blondie turns his head slightly and we lock eyes. I can see something fierce in them that I try to tell myself that I don't recognise, but I know that I do.

Want. Longing. An ache that refuses to just _die_ already.

Bartender-girl clears her throat pointedly, causing Blondie and I to jump apart like we've been caught doing something stupid. Which we have been. Very, very, stupid.

Yeah, well, I never claimed to be all that smart.

Bartender-girl is watching us with a sceptical look on her face. After another awkward pause, she says,

"Brother and sister, huh? R _iiiiii_ ight."

I would be totally mortified if the last few weeks of my life hadn't been one mortifying situation after another. I've become immune to this shit.

Blondie distracts himself from his own embarrassment by pressing the phone to his ear and dialing.

After a few rings someone on the other end picks up and Blondie lets out a relieved breathe. He says,

"Isabelle, it's me."

I snatch the phone from him and hold it up to my own ear.

"Isy-tron! Is Clary there with you?"

" _Ever_?" Isy-tron'S voice comes through loud and clear.

"Is Clary with you?" I ask again, having little to no patience left inside me right now.

" _Yeah, Clary's safe. Do you-"_ Isy-tron is cut off and different voice comes down the line.

" _Ever! Oh my god, are you ok?"_ Clary asks, sounding a bit panicky.

"I'm alive and wet and pissed off." I say.

" _Sounds like a usual Saturday night for you_." Clary says.

"That is both factually correct and supremely gross, Clare-bear."

 _"You seriously need to get back to the Institute, Ever_."

"Well, yeah, that was the plan. Blondie and I weren't gonna hop a plane to Alaska and integrate ourselves with a moose family."

" _Oh, don't start, this is serious. Alec tried to use his Parabatai bond thing to find Jace, but something went wrong and now he won't wake up from this freaky nightmare coma. You need to get Jace here so that he can fix Alec. Like now_."

My heart seizes in my chest. Awful images flash one after the other inside my head of Cap losing himself to a never-ending darkness. I see him lying on a bed, still and almost lifeless. I see the world turning upsidown and Cap falling into the nights sky. Pinpricks of heat alert me that I'm about to start crying like an asshole toddler. I'm suddenly ready to spiral, but I have nowhere to go.

Cap is danger and I'm afraid. Finally afraid of something other than myself.

Blondie is watching me now with a worried expression on his face. My gut clenches.

"Alec." I breathe. It comes out sounding strangled.

Blondie's eyes widen in fear and confusion. He takes the phone from me.

Clary and Blondie exchange a few more words that follow the pattern of yes-we-are-both-very-concerned-and-shall-meet-at-Magnus'-place. I try to concentrate on what they're saying, but it all sounds like white noise to me. All I can think about is Cap and how much I wish I was there with him. I wish Blondie and I were both there so that we could make sure we won't lose our friend.

When Blondie hangs up Bartender-girl comes back over to us and takes the phone away. She's giving us a look that I don't quite like.

"Did you guys sort your shit out?" Bartender girl asks.

"Not quite, but we're working on it." I say, feeling tired and strung out and so not in the mood to socialise with strange werewolves.

"We actually need some Shadowhunter assistance, if you're not busy." Bartender girl says.

"We don't have time to take anyone to the park." I say. "And we've run out of Frisbees anyway. So."

"Not that kind of help." Bartender-girl says plainly. "See that guy over there?" She gestures at a table where a random guy is brooding over a bowl of soup. No one's ever too emo for soup.

"His names' Taito. The circle took his Goddaughter." Bartender girl explains.

Oh, shit. Here we go.

"Are you sure it the circle buttheads who took Toto's Goddaughter? I hear there's a wicked witch who promised to cause some damage. Is Toto's Godaughter's name 'Dorothy' by any chance?"

Blondie throws me a glare.

"You hear that someone's been kidnapped and your first instinct is to make Wizard of Oz jokes? There is something very wrong with you." Blondie says.

I roll my eyes.

"Hey, we all deal with our grief in different ways. Some people cry. Some people smash shit up. I make inappropriate jokes at inconvenient times. Don't judge me, Mr Angel Anger Management."

Blondie opens his mouth as if to argue with me, but then seems to change his mind. He shakes his head and turns his attention to Bartender-girl.

"I'm really sorry. We would help, but there's some important...things, that we need to be doing right now-"

"Important things?" Bartender-girl makes a displeased face. "Are your 'things' really more important than doing your damn job?"

I frown at Blondie.

"You have a _job_?" I say doubtfully. "Where? Hot-topic? Starbucks? Wal-mart? Its Wal-mart isn't it? I don't think you have the social skills for Starbucks or the happy-go-lucky goth street cred for Hot-topic. How would you working at Wal-mart help you find Dorothy though? And who the hell hired you anyway? Did they not _meet_ you?"

"She means the job where I kill demons." Blondie says dryly.

I wave a hand dismissively.

"Well, that's really more of hobby isn't it?"

"Are you seriously a Shadowhunter?" Bartender-girl asks me in blatant disbelief.

I shrug and say,

"I'm in training." At the same time Blonde says,

"No. She's really more of a mascot. A very obnoxious and insane mascot."

"Rude." I sniff.

"Did I say insane?" Blondie smirks at me. "I really meant _mentally deranged_."

I raise a hand in front of Blondie's face and say,

"Blondie there are serious things going on right now. We really do not have time for your E double A."

"My _what_?" Blondie asks.

"His _what_?" Bartender-girl echoes.

Oh my cupcakes, do I really have to explain everything to these people? Ugh, apparently yes, I do.

"EAA." I say more slowly. "Emo. Angel. Angst."

Blondie stares at me some more. After an uncomfortable amount of time Blondie closes his eyes and tilts his head backwards, looking as if he praying to some higher power to come and save him from this moment.

"Are you two gonna help us or not?" Bartender-girls demands.

Does she really want us to help her? Do we seem capable of helping anyone right now? Blondie and I look half drowned and all we've done since we got here is argue. If I were Bartender-girl then I would not be looking to the two wet idiots for help with _anything_.

"I'm sorry, but we really have to go." Blondie says distractedly. He grabs hold of my wrist and turns to leave.

Unfortunately we are blocked from pissing right off by a wall of angry werewolf guy. It's Toto. And he is one stealthy motherfucker for a guy who's built like the great wall of China.

Angry fluffy glares at us and says,

"This is Valentine's son and daughter. He was the one who took Gretel."

Who the _fuck_ is this Gretel biatch?

"Look, Toto," I say, holding my hands up in apology, "we don't know anything about Dorothy _or_ Gretel, I swear. Have you checked Kansas?"

" _Not helping_." Blondie growls under his breathe at me. He looks up at Toto and his stance shifts slightly into a defensive position. "Please step back. I don't want to have to hurt you."

I hold in the laughter that threatens come out of my mouth in response to that statement.

"That's too bad." Bartender-girl says darkly. "Because we _do_ want to hurt you."

Toto and Bartender-girl's eyes glow green and wolfy.

I don't think I'll ever get used to that nonsense.

I move the hell out the way whilst some fluffy people try to lay the smack down on Blondie. Blondie responds by kicking ass. Or at least attempting to.

At least six fluffy people take Blondie on, which is decidedly unfair.

After a few minutes of Blondie getting thrown around, Bartender-girl looks over at me and asks,

"Are you gonna help him?"

I tilt my hand from side to side in consideration.

"I'm waiting for my moment." I tell her.

My moment comes only a few seconds later when one of the fluffy guys has Blondie pinned against the bar and another fluffy guy is about to stab him with a rather large kitchen knife.

I'd been shuffling closer and closer to the fire extinguisher during Blondie beatdown and before Blondie can get knifed I spring into action.

I yank the fire extinguisher off the wall and put my fire aid training to good use. I point the nozzle at the faces of the fluffy guys trying to exterminate Blondie and blast them with a never ender wave of foamy shit. It catches them off guard and the first fluffy guy loosens his grip on Blondie. As I'd hoped Blondie takes advantage of this and shoves himself away from the bar.

I keep on spraying the fluffy guys. When the other ones move into action after the initial shock wears off I aim the nozzle at them. One of them slips in the foam and takes a few of the fluffy people down with him.

Blondie opens the door to the bar and pulls on my arm, motioning that it's time to get the fuck out. I stop foaming the fluffy people and throw the fire exthinguisher at Toto. It hits him in the face, causing him to slide on the foam as well and fall down next his clumsier brethren.

I take hold of Blondie hand and we both run out the door. Even when our shoes hit the street we keep on running, fast and hard.

_Hold on Cap, we're coming for you._

...

We run a few blocks before I hail a cab.

Blondie gives me an odd look when I open the door to the cab and gesture for him to get inside.

"How exactly are you planning on paying for this cab ride?" Blondie asks me.

"Trust me, I got it covered." I say.

Blondie still looks sceptical but he gets in and I follow after him. I give the cab driver Magnus' address.

After about a minute of tense silence where all I can do is sit and breathe and try not to lose my shit, Blondie turns to me again and whispers,

"Seriously, though, how are we paying for this?"

I roll my eyes and pull a wallet out of my pocket. Blondie follows my movement and when he sees the wallet he frowns in confusion.

"I swiped it from one of your admirers." I explain.

Blondie's expression flattens.

"I knew it." He says. "You're a little thief. That makes so much sense."

I poke my tongue out at him.

"Where did you even learn to pick pocket like that?" Blondie asks, looking more than vaguely amused.

I say wryly,

"In junior high I was in an amateur production of Oliver Twist. I played Dodger and I believe strongly in method acting."

"I _believe strongly_ that you are a complete lunatic." Blondie says, huffing out a laugh.

"Yeah, well, this complete lunatic just saved your ass from being werewolf chow and secured us a ride to Cap's side without the added drama of being hunted down by fluffy people." I say.

Blondie smiles a me then. A little sadly. But there's genuine fondness in his eyes.

"You know...I can't even remember what it was like before I had you disrupting my entire life." He says.

"You're not the first person to say that." I smile back at him. "My Mom calls me Chaos incarnate."

Blondie laughs again, and even though he looks like hell from almost drowning and getting in a bar fight, I still think he's the most beautiful guy I've ever seen. Apart from Cap of course. Although they're both attractive to me in different ways. Cap is strong and solid, handsome in a cool, almost forbidding way. Blondie, however, has a certain gentleness to him, an inner goodness that cannot be denied no matter how much he tries to fight it.

They are both fierce and undeniable forces, but whereas Cap **blazes** , Blondie _shines_.

Blondie is sunlight and comets hurtling through space and summer days that never end. Cap is starlight and the depths of the ocean and lightning hitting a tree.

I understand why they might have chosen to stand together so permanently.

"Chaos incarnate." Blondie repeats. He says it as if tasting the words. Testing how they sound. He get this thoughtful look on his face after a long silence and he surprises me by randomly quoting, " _And yet I have had the weakness, and have still the weakness, to wish you to know with what a sudden mastery you kindled me, heap of ashes that I am, into fire_."

" _A fire, however, inseparable in its nature from myself, quickening nothing, lighting nothing, doing no service, idly burning away."_ I finish the quote from memory and raise a questioning eyebrow at Blondie. "Why are we quoting A Tale of Two Cities at each other?" I ask, genuinely bewildered for once.

Blondie's lips tip upwards into another small smile.

"Ah, that's A Tale of Two Cities, is it? I was trying to come up with something from Oliver Twist, but..."

I laugh at him, wondering if that's what he's been thinking about since I mentioned it before.

" _My heart is set, as firmly as ever heart of man was set on woman. I have no thought, no view, no hope, in life beyond her."_ I say, giving Blondie an encouraging smile.

Brightness returns to Blondie's eyes and he finishes the Oliver Twist quote,

" _If you oppose me in this great stake, you take my peace and happiness in your hands, and cast them to the wind_."

Blondie and I smile at each for a beat too long. And then another beat. And then another. In fact we stare each other like the weirdoes that we are until the cab driver stop outside Magnus' place and clears his throat pointedly.

I take my eyes forcibly off Blondie and open up the wallet to pay the cab driver.

Once Blondie and I are out on the street, we waste no time in entering Magnus' building and rushing to his door.

Clary lets us in when we knock on the door, and whilst Blondie spares her one assessing look before moving quickly into the apartment in search of Cap, I stop to envelope her in a hug.

Even though I knew she was safe, it's still great to actually see Clary in person to check that she's very much alive.

Clary returns my embrace and holds onto me tightly for a few seconds. Eventually we pull apart and for once I don't have anything snarky to say.

That is until Clary looks me up and down and says,

"You look _terrible_."

I narrow my eyes at her and reply,

"And you look like me with a moustache." Then I shove her aside to go and find Cap. "Move or lose it, sis."

I find Isy-tron, Magnus, Blondie and Cap in the living room. Cap is led on a lounge settee. Isy-tron is hovering nervously a few feet away. She gives me a tight smile when I glance over at her. Magnus also looks worried, which isn't something I've really seen from him before.

"Thanks for doing this Maggie." I say to Magnus seriously. "Your level of awesome just went up tenfold in my book."

Magnus reaches out to squeeze my shoulder comfortingly and nods. His uncharacteristic quietness just makes me more nervous about Cap.

Blondie is kneeling next to Cap. He's holding some sort of greenish rock with a rune etched into it.

I go to kneel down on Cap's other side, opposite Blondie. Cap is sweating and mumbling incoherently. I take Cap's hand in mine and lace our fingers together. I bring his hand to my lips and press them against his fingers.

Blondie is watching me carefully. The look on his face is intense.

"This is gonna work." I say to Blondie with as much confidence as I can. _It has to work_.

Blondie's face softens slightly, apparently taking some comfort in my assertion. He copies me by grasping hold of Cap's other hand so that the rune rock is pressed between their palms.

I start a little when a golden light starts to glow from the rune rock.

Blondie returns his gaze to Cap's face and I do the same. I think maybe I should let go of Cap's hand and move away. This isn't my place. I am nothing compared to what these two people share. But I don't want to let, and because I'm selfish, I keep holding on.

"Entreat me not leave thee." Blondie recites so quietly that I can barely hear him. "Or to return from following after thee." There's a desperation in Blondie's voice that makes my heart hurt.

Cap's body jerks suddenly and Blondie drops the glowy rune rock. It hits the floor with a clatter that shakes my world to its core.

I tighten my grip on Cap's hand, fear slicing through me with the white hot rage of a fire drenched knife.

"What's happening?" I hear Isy-tron ask.

"He's slipping." Magnus says.

"No!" Clary gasps.

Blondie shakes his head and presses a hand to the side of Cap's neck. He begins speaking again, reciting words he clearly knows well.

"Thy people will be my people, thy God will be my God."

I press Cap's fingers to my forehead, holding his hand with both of mine. Then I close my eyes and pray in the only way I know how.

_Open your eyes._

"When thou diest, I will die."

_Come back to us._

"And there will I be buried."

_Don't leave us here alone without you._

"The Angel do so to me."

_We need you._

"And more also, if aught but death part me and thee."

_Please._

"Please don't make me live without you, Alec."

_Please._

And then a voice. Choked and rough. Not mine, or Jace's or Izzy's or Clary's or Magnus'.

A voice that threatens to tear my heart from my chest in an act of painful relief.

"And more also, if aught but death part me and thee."

Weak, but there. A struggle to hear, but louder than any other sound in the room. A small thing, but that which means everything in this one moment.

I force my eyes open when Cap's hand tightens on mine. I look up slowly to find Cap staring at me. His eyes are heavy with exhaustion, but they are no less intensely focused. His eyes blaze with emotions that he probably has no idea how to express.

Blondie is watching me too. I know it even without having to check.

I feel the power of both of their attention being momentarily placed on me. It feels dually like too much and at the same time not nearly enough.

I reach out and meet Blondie's hand halfway as our free hands clasp together.

An unbroken circle forms between the three of us for the first time, and it scares me that nothing in my life has ever felt more right than this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANKS SO MUCH TO EVERYONE FOR READING!


	22. Welcome To Shadow-jail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cap and Ever visit Blondie in jail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do NOT own Shadowhunters. Or The Mortal Instruments. The only thing I own in this fic is my character 'Ever'.

It's surprising how quickly a situation can go to shit.

For a single, almost unfairly perfect, moment, everything in my world had seemed to right itself. Being there in Maggie's snazzy apartment, with Blondie and Cap, having their hands in mine, felt like the beginning of something new. The kind of new that's both scary and exciting at the same time. I think all three of us could feel the invisible connection that sparked to life the second we formed that circle. We fit together like three broken pieces finally made whole. It sounds stupid, I know, but it was real.

Then, of course, everything fell apart. Grandfather Willow and his personal Puppets of Shadowy intent broke into Maggie's apartment and arrested Blondie for...daring to be related to Valendouche? It was as stupid as you're probably imagining. Grandfather Willow accused Blondie of working for his father, which is ridiculous.

Blondie is as likely to sign up with Valendouche as I am to join an 'I Hate Ice Cream' club. It just ain't happen'.

But since when have Shadowpuppets ever cared about things like logic and common sense and all that not-stupid stuff?That's right, never. They just bumble along arresting innocent blond people and randomly deciding to change the colour of their fancy-ass tattoos and no I'm not fucking letting that go.

Blondie has been taken to the City of Bones and will be locked up in a cell until his weird Shadowpuppet trial. I have no idea what kind of ridiculousness passes for a trial in the Shadow world, but I can guess that it will be mind numbingly stupid. I was informed by Isy-tron that sword touching will be involved somehow. And yes, when Isy-tron told me that I laughed for a full ten minutes without a break because _sword-touching_. I like how unapologetically gay that sounds.

Cap, obviously because he's a legitimate _robot_ , did not find it as funny when I explained why I was rolling around on the floor with tears in my eyes. Cap thought I was sad about Blondie and got confused when I told him they were happy tears. Then we got into an argument about the subtle nuances between sad crying and happy crying. He does not believe that happy crying is a thing. I proclaimed, loudly, very very loudly, that I would make him cry from happiness if it killed me. Cap just looked vaguely frightened in the face of my enthusiasm, which made me feel very proud.

Cap and I have sneaked like pro ninjas through a dodgy graveyard to reach the main entrance of Puppet jail where Blondie is apparently being kept. I'm not sure exactly why we had to employ our ninja stealth skills since no one actually told us we aren't allowed to be here, but I'm not complaining. I'll take any excuse to show off my, frankly excellent, super secret spy abilities.

I'm even wearing a skin-tight leather cat-suit like the real spies do. I wanted to wear the ears that came with the outfit, but Cap ruined it by saying that he wouldn't be seen in public with me if I did. I argued that the whole point of us going covert was so that no one would see us. Cap refused to acknowledge my perfectly valid reasoning and took the ears away. I'm almost positive that he had them destroyed like the dastardly mudblood he so clearly is. I have no proof of that though, so my cat ears will have to remain unavenged for the now.

Maybe I'll go into his room later and steal the shoe laces from his all of his boots. That'll teach him. I'll have to frame Clary for it though. She deserves to go down for something anyway since she was the one who I asked to look after my cat ears in the first place. When I confronted her for letting Cap take them she huffed a load of unrelated garbage about me being weird and how we have way more important things to be worrying about and blah blah bloopity blah. Like anything could be more important than my cat ears.

Yeah, yeah, I know, Valendouche and his take over the world plans. Plus Blondie's imprisonment. Also there's Simon's vampire problems which I still consider to be all my fault. And ok, might as well throw in the small issue of me having a major thing for a maybe-possibly gay/bisexual guy and another guy who is _my_ brother by blood and _his_ brother by soul.

But all of that aside, it's the ears thing that's really bugging me to be honest.

Actually, scratch that, I'm very worried about Simon. He totally freaked out when he found out his Mom had been drinking again and that she'd disappeared. I had to abandon my Shadowpuppet responsibilities to go help Simon with his family stuff. It was the least that I owed him really. We found his Mom surprisingly easily, which was both good and bad. Good, because she was safe and not dead in a ditch somewhere, but bad because Raphael went all shady and pretended to be the agent for Simon's band or some shit. He made all kinds of threats towards Simon's Mom. He wasn't messing around either. Lieutenant sparkles is clearly getting ansty about big bitch Camille gathering her glitter army. Simon says there's gonna be a civil war between the vampy types if Camille isn't taken out soon.

Personally, I would no problem hunting down Bitchy Mc bitchface and cutting her head off Supernatural style, but I've got too many other end of the world commitments going down right now. I've told Simon that if he needs me then I'm there. It sucks, but that's all I can offer without completely letting down everyone else.

"How are we gonna bust Blondie out of this rocky hellhole?" I whisper-shout to Cap. Whisper-shouting has the spirit of whispering but the volume of a mouse speaking into a microphone.

Cap turns a disparaging look on me and says,

"We aren't breaking him out. No one 'breaks out' of the City of Bones."

"That's what they said about Azkaban until Sirius Black escaped." I say.

"Is that another one of your YA references?" Cap asks suspiciously, narrowing his eyes at me.

I nod cheerfully.

"Yep. Bonus points if you can guess which YA series it's from."

Cap rolls his eyes, but I can tell that he's thinking about it.

"Is it the one with the magic?"

I poke him on the nose and chide,

"Don't cheat, Cap. A lot of them have 'magic'. Be more specific or concede defeat."

Cap lets out a frustrated breathe, and even though he looks annoyed and a bit pissy, I still can't stop myself from being breathlessly grateful that he's alive. We came so close to losing Cap that I'm afraid to be away from him for too long just in case something happens and he gets hurt again. Despite the fact that Cap and I have only known each other for a short time, I can't shake the feeling that we've grown closer than either of us would have with anyone else.

"Is it the one with the villain guy who doesn't have a nose?" Cap asks tentatively.

I throw both my arms up and announce,

"Yes! Good job, Cap. Twenty points to...um, which house are you in again?"

"I'm not in any house you lunatic, none of it is real." Cap says dismissively.

I cross my arms over my chest and kick Cap in the ankle.

"First of all, that is very high and mighty attitude for the boy who hunts Demons and has a glowy ice wand-"

"Once again, my stele. Is not. A _wand_."

"-second of all, you _are_ in a house. I made you take that test on Pottermore, remember." I go on, ignoring Cap's unimportant blathering about stencil-pen-crayon-whatever- _wand_.

Cap pinches the bridge of his nose, as if trying to stave off a headache. He breathes deeply and realises a heavy sigh. When he looks at me Cap's expression is one of resignation. I think I've finally broken him. It took a lot less time than I thought it would. Simon lasted at least a few years before I broke him.

To be fair though, we were a lot younger and I wasn't as weird back then. I destroyed Simon's spirit for normality slowly. We should all be a little bit surprised that Simon is even still...wow, I was about to say 'alive' just then. How unfortunate. The dead jokes won't stop rolling in.

"I think," Cap says slowly, "that I was in...the yellow one."

"Hufflepuff is a very respectable house, Cap. There's no need to feel ashamed."

" _Waffle_ - **what**?" Cap snorts. "Now you're just making words up."

"Well, technically _all_ words are 'made up'." I say with a half shrug. "It's not like a trees _asked_ to be called trees or clouds _asked_ to be actually be called clouds."

"Even if they did," Cap reasons, "trees would have probably asked to be called 'bratus'."

I think my weirdness has officially rubbed off on him.

"Bratus?" I echo questioningly.

"Yeah." Cap nods. "Bratus is Latin for 'tree'."

"You are throwing off so many dork vibes right now, I can't even." I say through a bout of laughter.

Cap gives me an unimpressed face, but I can see the amusement that he's trying to hide underneath the annoyance.

We pass a tree and I stop to stroke it hello.

"Nice to meet you _bratus_." I coo with emphasis.

"Ever." Cap says from a safe distance away from me. "Please stop inappropriately touching that tree. We have things to do. Jace is expecting us, and I refuse to explain that the reason for us being late is you cooing at a tree."

I ignore his prattling and say to my new tree friend,

"I don't like the name bratus. I think you look more like a Buttons, or maybe a Fluffy."

"Ever, I really think we should-"

I turn back to pierce Cap with a pointed stare and speak over him,

"Cap, what do you think we should name this tree?" I poke the tree affectionately. Or as affectionately as you can poke a tree you've only just met. "Buttons or Fluffy?"

"Ever, I am not going to-"

"Just answer the question, Cap." I say, frustrated with his lack of cooperation.

"But we have to-" Cap tries again.

I wave a hand uncaringly.

"Yeah, yeah, sneak into the City of Boners blah blah support Blondie in his quest to bad touch the sword of truth or whatever blah blah. I get it, Cap, but right now I really need you to focus." I stroke the tree twice. "Now, think, look at tree and decide, Buttons or Fluffy."

Cap pulls a disgruntled face and says very seriously,

"I hate that I'm starting to understand you."

"Cap!" I snarl with all the impatience of a hungry elephant.

"I hate that anything you say makes sense to me." Cap blathers on, seeming very disturbed for some reason.

I point a shaking finger at Cap. My rage is all encompassing. For real though.

"Cap, answer the question about the fucking tree or I will cut you. Don't test me. Tony will fuck you up I swear to Lucifer."

Cap stares at me, apparently weighing the truth in my threat. He eventually appears to decide that it's not worth the risk, although I do hear him mutter _'I am going to regret this **so** much'_ before looking me dead in the eye and saying,

"Name the tree Fluffy."

"Buttons it is." I say with a firm nod.

"You can't name a tree 'Buttons'." Cap argues.

"You can. I just did." I say. "It wasn't very hard."

"But trees don't even have buttons." Cap says with more vehemence than I think is warranted.

"Trees aren't fluffy either." I point out.

"Some trees are fluffy." Cap huffs.

"I don't think that's true. Are you getting trees confused with bushes again?" I say, arching a suggestive eyebrow at him.

"That had better not of been another sexuality joke." Cap grumbles.

I decide to switch topics so that Cap won't get too grumpy.

"What's the Latin word for 'cloud' then?" I ask.

Cap frowns pensively.

"I don't know."

I laugh a little incredulously.

"Why do you know the Latin word for 'tree', but not the Latin word for 'cloud'?"

"I don't know." Cap says again.

I move away from my new friend Buttons and link my arm with Cap's. I start dragging him towards the entrance to the City of Boners. We really shouldn't be late visiting Blondie. He'll worry we've gone off and eloped or something equally horrifying.

"Well you should know." I admonish Cap. "I expect this kind of lax knowledge from Blondie, but not you, Cap. Have you not been doing your Latin words homework?"

Cap rolls his eyes, but he doesn't unlink our arms, which is nice. It feels absurdly good to be this close to Cap, despite all the reasons why I should want to stay far, far, away from him.

"We don't get given Latin words homework." He says derisively.

"That explains why you don't know what the word 'cloud' is in Latin then." I say, shaking my head in mock sadness. "Shadowpuppet school has really gone down hill."

Cap makes an aborted sound of amusement crossed with irritation. He would probably keep on arguing with me, but we've already reached the City of Bones' entrance.

The door looks ceiled up tight though, which is slightly off-putting. I cast a glance at Cap, who appears to have anticipated my confusion. He jerks his chin at a rune carved into a slab of stone next to the 'door'.

"Place your hand over the rune." Cap advises.

I snort and say,

"I'm not poking the stone thingy, Cap. Do you even know who else has touched it? Some people don't wash their hands you know."

"Just touch the rune, Ever." Cap grits out through clenched teeth.

"No." I say. "You touch it."

"You're _closer_."

"You're _taller_."

Cap glares at me incredulously.

"What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

"I wasn't talking to _you_." I snap.

"Yes you were!" Cap practically shouts. He disengages our cinched arms to flap his around very majestically.

"Prove it, Captain." I sniff.

"Are you _ever_ going to call me by my name?" Cap asks with a dramatic sigh.

I shrug one shoulder.

"Probably not, no."

Cap nudges me out of the way, whilst grumbling loudly about my insanity, and presses his palm over the stone carved rune. It goes all glowy and shit when Cap pull his hand away. The stone door slides open and Cap grabs hold of my hand to yank me inside after him.

I'm gonna be real with you here. The City of Bones is mega creepy. There are fucking skulls randomly dotted all over the place. It's a goths wet dream all up in this shithole.

Cap keeps hold of my hand and pulls me along down some stone steps.

"Why is it so dark in here? Are they on a electricity budget?" I say to Cap. "Did you bring your shiny torch rock?"

"It's not that dark. There are candles." Cap argues. I think just for the sake of it this time. He scowls at me. "And they're called _Witchlights_ not 'shiny torch rocks'."

"Those candles are a fire hazard." I say, ignoring his protests about his special wizardpebble or whatever.

Cap is distracted from responding by the screams and cries of prisoners. We walk down an endless amount of steps to reach the level where Blondie is being kept. All of the desperate crying and wailing makes me wince in both horror and sympathy. Cap notices and squeezes my hand. He pulls me a bit closer to him. Close enough that our hips and shoulders touch as we walk.

It immediately calms me to feel Cap so far into my personal space. I can't stand it with most people, but Cap seems to be the exception. How much I instinctively react to Cap scares me in a way that I'm not ready to deal with yet on top of everything else.

Cap's entire body tenses, which puts me on alert before I can even process the thought that there's any potential danger closing in. I don't understand what has Cap's back up until I hear a deep, droning voice inside my head.

_"What is your business here, Shadowhunters?"_

Ah, shit. So much for our sneaking ninja skills. I'll scratch international super spy off my list of job prospects just in case this whole being a puppet of shadows thing doesn't work out.

Cap and I both turn around to find a Quiet Cousin standing only a few feet away. He's got all the sown up facial features and the scraggy hood. He's also holding a big torch and I wonder where he got it from. Is there a hidden torch stash somewhere down here?

Cap moves himself ever so slightly between me and Stitches McGee. He has an expression of cold anger on his face, like he's preparing for a fight. God help Stitches if he tries to stop Cap from seeing Blondie.

"We need to see Jace Wayland." Cap replies stonily to Stitches.

Thankfully Stitches doesn't tell us to get the hell out of his creepy cave of never ending stair cases. Seriously though, it's like the Halloween town's version of Hogwarts.

Stitches shuffles off without another word to us.

"Are we supposed to follow him?" I whisper to Cap.

Cap whispers back,

"It's either that or wander around trying to find Jace ourselves."

I shudder dramatically in response and dart after Stitches, pulling Cap along behind me. Our fingers are now locked tightly together.

Stitches leads us to a dimly lit cell and for a few seconds I think it must be empty because I can't see anyone. But then I hear Blondie's voice reaching out from the shadows.

"Alec? Ever?"

I practically smash both myself and Cap up against the cell bars in my eagerness to reach out to Blondie.

"Jace." Cap breathes out in relief. A crackle of emotion causes Cap's voice to break slightly on Blondie's name. Cap has been worrying himself like crazy ever since Blondie was arrested and brought to this place.

Blondie moves into light. He looks fucked up. Dirty and exhausted and...pissed?

"Alec." Blondie says angrily. "You shouldn't have brought her here. Take her away, _now_."

"Blondie, this is no time to be having a diva moment." I admonish.

"I tried to leave her behind." Cap tells Blondie, his expression grim. "I'm sorry." But he doesn't sound sorry at all. He goes on with a lot more sincerity, "You needed to see her, Jace."

Blondie moves closer to us and grips onto the cool metal bars with both hands, forming two tight fists around them. All three of us are now way beyond the point of being in each others' personal space.

I lean my forehead against the bars for a moment before reaching out to Blondie with my free hand. I wrap my fingers around one of Blondie's fists and stroke his knuckles with my thumb. Blondie gasps in a shuddering breathe. Without prompting Cap uses his own free hand to envelope Blondie's other fist.

The air between us becomes thick with a new kind of tension. I feel strangely light headed from the sudden strength of it. I know that Blondie and Cap can feel the shift in our reactions to one another. It's kind of hard to ignore.

"We can't do this." Blondie chokes out.

"I don't even know what **_this_** is." Cap remarks, sounding far more unsteady than he did a few minutes ago.

I feel so fucking conflicted over what 'this' is that I don't know what to say. All I do know is that there is definitely, undeniably, a 'this' that needs to be dealt with.

To be honest I never thought we'd get as far as acknowledging it at all, so in a weird way I'm proud of our united stupidity. Go making bad life choices! Whoo hoo!

"You both need to stay away from me." Blondie says. He studiously avoid meeting my eyes, or Cap's.

"I don't know if you're aware of this, Blondie," I say, an edge of frustration making its way into my voice, "but I am your sister. Cap is your brother. All three of us are bound together for life whether we like it or not. So staying away, even if there was a chance in hell that we would actually consider abandoning you, wouldn't do fuck all except make us all more miserable than we already are."

Blondie and Cap both gape at me. With the power of my best wicked glare, I fucking dare either one of them to contradict me.

Cap is the first one to break.

"Ever's right, Jace." He says, his mouth curling up into a small smile.

"She's freakin' insane." Blondie huffs.

"That too." Cap says, definitely amused now.

I grin proudly.

"Admit it." I say. "You adore me. You would be lost without me. I am the wind beneath your wings. The song in your hearts. The light of your lives. The..the...uh...-"

"The lunatic we find ourselves inexplicably drawn to for reasons that defy all logic and common sense." Cap offers. He's smirking. The bastard.

"Yes." Blondie says, nodding enthusiastically at Cap. "That last one sounds right."

"You're both assholes." I say.

Before Cap or Blondie can respond, Stitches reminds us that we aren't alone.

" _Everlyna Fairchild and Alexander Lightwood, it is time for you to leave_."

Damn it Stitches, we were just getting somewhere. I think.

Cap and I exchange reluctant looks and I know with absolute certainty that Cap would back me up if I told Stitches to piss off. An inner conflict sparks to life inside of me. On the one hand, I don't wanna cause problems with Stitches. He might decide to stitch my mouth closed for the sake of humanity or something. But, the main problem is, I also don't want to leave Blondie here alone.

After a few seconds of Cap scowling and me dithering, Blondie makes the decision for us by pulling away from the bars, forcing Cap and I to let go of his hands.

Blondie dips his head. His dirty blond hair falls into his face, partially hiding his expression.

"You need to go." Blondie says, sounding wearier than I've ever heard him. He looks up at us, his eyes bright and filled with intense emotion.

"We'll get you out of here, Jace." Cap promises, his jaw tightening and his eyes burning with determination.

I grip Cap's hand tightly in mine and bring our clasped hands up, brandishing them to Blondie.

"Yeah," I say, "we have way too much shit to work out, Blondie. You don't get to escape this thing by going to Shadow jail."

Blondie just smiles sadly at us and says in half-broken voice,

"Look after each other. Please. Do that for me. I care more about you two being safe than me getting out."

Cap pulls me in close and stares at Blondie. They share a silent stare conversation and then nod at each other in agreement over Satan only knows what.

I have yet to decide exactly how screwed we all are. But my best guess is 'very'. _**Very**_ screwed.

...

When we get back to the Institute it immediately becomes apparent that shit has gone down. According to Clary there's a Demon meeting...thingy...in the briefing room. Clary was waiting for me near the entrance of the Instutute to ask about Blondie. All three of us make our way towards the gathering of the Demon haters union.

Unfortunately Clary and I are stopped in the hall by our mother. I really don't want to speak to her as I'm still pissed about the whole 'gave Cap a stone that almost killed him' thing. I can't just ignore her though. Well, I suppose I could in theory, but it would probably turn into a big, dramatic, fight, and we don't have time for that shit.

I wave for Cap to keep on walking without me and Clary. He ignores my hand gesture and leans against the wall with his arms crossed, clearly prepared to wait for me. He stands far enough away so it doesn't seem like hovering, but I'm not an idiot. You'd think I was the one who very nearly died not too long ago with how protective Cap has been acting ever since he woke up from his Shadow-coma.

Cap's dark eyes stay fixed on me, and despite his relaxed posture, I can tell that he's ready to fight off any threat that might present itself. He looks like a black panther hiding in a tree, waiting for the perfect moment to attack.

"You went to see Jace, how is he?" Mom asks me, a desperate edge to her voice. It makes me feel like kind of a bitch for shutting her out. Jace is her son after all. I _really_ need to remember that. For more than one reason.

"He's locked up in a creepy as fuck prison, Mom." I say, trying to keep myself from snapping.

Clary, who is as angry as I am about Mom almost accidentally killing Cap due to how much it upset Isy-tron, makes a frustrated sound and says,

"Mom, can we do this later? We're late for a Demon briefing."

How does she say that with a straight face? 'Demon briefing'. Bah! I know the threat of Demons is very real, but that doesn't stop it from sounding ridiculous.

Mom's face falls, but she recovers quickly.

"Girls, there's something I need to tell to you." She takes a deep breathe and goes on, "The Clave is reassigning me to Idris."

"What?" Clary blurts in dismay. "Why?"

I don't need to ask why. I know why.

"For the same reason they locked up Blondie." I scoff. "For the same reason why they don't trust me or you, Clary. According to the Clave we're Valentine's 'family'." I say in disgust.

Clary sucks in a equally disgusted breath of indignation.

"They're testing my loyalty." Mom says with a sigh.

"Can't you just tell that you can prove your loyalty _here_." Clary says, gesturing at the surrounding Institute.

"I wish it here up to me." Mom says tiredly. "But it isn't. So I only have two options. Go to Idris or...run. And I've done enough running for one lifetime."

"But we just got you back." Clary says, her eyes starting go a bit glassy with possible tears.

"I know." Mom says. She reaches out to take our hands and look at us each in turn. "That's why I want both of you to come with me to Idris."

Wha?

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Cap's entire body go tense, his spine straitening and his shoulders going noticeably taught. I glance at him and our eyes immediately lock. My own body tightens in response to the heat reaching out from Cap to coil around me without hesitation. My heart stutters in my chest and for a single second I swear I forget how to breathe.

I look away when I begin to feel light headed from the intensity of Cap's stare. I never knew it was possible to be thrown so off balance by one look shared between two people. I can't even imagine how much worse it would be if Blondie were here. I think I'd go mad from it if I had to deal with both Blondie and Cap being able to look directly into my soul so easily.

I refocus on Clary and Mom. Somehow the thought of our Mom leaving and wanting us to go with her to Idris feels a lot less frightening and insane than whatever's going on between me, Blondie and Cap, even though it really isn't.

"Are you serious?" Clary asks Mom. "You want us to move to Idris. You want _Ever_ to go to Idris?" Clary makes a face. "She'd probably burn the entire place to the ground within a week."

Ah, there's the annoying sister distraction that I need.

I pull a dreamy face and say,

"I would become their supreme leader and force every single Shadowpuppet to wear a cape at all times. Even on the toilet or in the shower. Anyone who removes their cape without express permission from me would be locked in a room with a puma. Or eaten by piranhas, depending on how whimsical I'm feeling on that particular day."

Mom tries to hide a smile, but I see it, and I hear Cap make a choked noise that may or may not have been an aborted laugh.

Clary just rolls her eyes at me.

"It would be a fresh start for us." Mom says beseechingly. "I could show you both so much about who we are."

Before Clary or I have the chance to respond to that, Isy-tron comes striding around the corner. She spots us all straight away and says urgently,

"There's been a Demon attack downtown. One mundane dead."

Isy-tron's gaze bounces over each one of us before landing more firmly on Cap.

"We need to move, now."

Cap doesn't waste any time. He steps away from the wall and looks directly into my eyes.

"Ever stays with me." He says, the firmness in his voice brooking no room for argument.

Isy-tron and Clary share a 'well, _duh_ ' look.

"Ok then, it's time to boogy, folks, lets go." I say, feeling the need to stop standing around having too many emotions about all the wrong things. I'm hoping that actually doing some Shadowpuppet stuff will help. Maybe.

Yeah, probably not. Damn feelings are hard.

Without another word, Cap and I stride off almost in unison to go to grab some gear. Clary and Isy-tron follow close behind us. I feel awful about leaving Mom standing alone in the hallway, but there are more important things for me to be feeling guilty about right now so the whole Mom issue thing will just have to wait.

I accidentally lock gazes with Cap again as we walk and the question I see in his eyes isn't one I can answer. Not now. Maybe never.

Apparently there are a lot of things that will just have to fucking _wait_.

I am gonna repress the fuck out of my confusing feelings and kick some Demon ass. From what I've seen that is the Shadowpuppet way, and who am I to mess with tradition?


	23. The Epic High Five Fail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kissing in the street and demons being assholes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can only apologise for how long it took me to get this chapter out. I was in hospital for a while and then after that horribleness was over I started a new job and a whole other form of horribleness began. I really hope this chapter was worth the wait. x
> 
> Disclaimer: I do NOT own Shadowhunters. Or The Mortal Instruments. The only thing I own in this fic is my character 'Ever'.

When we arrive at the crime scene, Luke is already there diverting the actual real life cops away from the dead body. I never thought I'd be considered an expert on dead bodies over fully trained professionals. How creepy my life has become. I blame Clary. She was born first, she should have been the one running around with Shadowpuppets and poking vampy people and getting kidnapped by fluffy assholes all this time instead of me. And yeah, I know that logic probably shouldn't make sense to sane people. Good thing I'm not one of those.

Dead Guy looks like he's has his chest ripped open. I don't know how I'm not vomiting in a corner, but hey, apparently I have more stomach for gruesome murder than I thought. Yay? Immunity to scenes of horrific death isn't exactly what I would call a desirable skill. In this case though I'm sort of glad of it.

I stand next to a tense Luke whilst Isy-tron kneels down next to Dead Guy, prodding at his flayed open chest with an air of competency. Clary is standing behind Isy-tron, watching her (maybe) girlfriend go all CSI. My sister has an intent frown on her face. She doesn't look pleased. Then again, we are all looming over a murdered corpse, so signs of displeasure are probably normal. If anything can be called normal at this point.

"Well, this is one nasty demon." Isy-tron says. "Punched a hole right through his chest."

That creates a far too vivid picture in my mind of a demon going in for a fist bump with a bit too much enthusiasm. If there is a hell then I'm definitely going to it when I die. First kissing my brother, then getting my best friend turned into a vampire, and now having way inappropriate thoughts about an innocent murder victim. I'm an awful person, seriously.

"With that kind of strength, I doubt its done yet." Luke says knowingly.

"Why would a demon do something like this?" Clary asks, still frowning. "Just to kill him? What would be the point?"

"Maybe chest punching is some kind of demon hobby. Like knitting." I say.

Clary glares at me sardonically.

"How is murder anything like knitting?"

I shrug one shoulder.

"I don't know. I didn't go to demon finishing school did I?"

Before Clary can get her rage on at me for being weird and inappropriate, Cap comes striding up to us and relays,

"There's nothing in the immediate vicinity."

Cap went off for a sweep when we got here to make sure the demon wasn't still lurking around close by. It seems he definitely didn't run into the chest fondling demon.

"We need to take the body back to the Institute." Isy-tron says, standing up. "I'll run some tests to see what kind of demon we're dealing with."

"Ever and I will widen the perimeter." Cap says.

"Oh will we?" I ask, raising an eyebrow at Cap. He very pointedly doesn't look at me. Dork.

"Clary, you ok to come back and help me out with this?" Isy-tron asks my twin.

Clary's ire turns into contented acceptance.

"Yeah, no problem."

"Great." Isy-tron says, flashing Clary a small smile, which Clary returns with one of her own.

"See?" I say, poking Cap's arm. "That right there was called 'asking'. As oppose to 'bossing'. Take a tip, Captain dream boat."

Cap very clearly wants to roll his eyes, but he begrudgingly resists the urge and says instead,

"Ever, will you help me widen the perimeter?"

"Why, yes Cap." I say sweetly. "Of course I will. You didn't need to ask."

I start walking away without another word. I hear Cap begin to sputter incredulously behind me.

"But you _said_ -"

I cut him off with a dismissive wave of my hand.

"We don't have time for your constant nonsense Cap, there's a demon out there who doesn't know how to fist bump properly. Hurry up."

Cap mutters insults about my person, but he follows after me anyway.

We walk together in silence for what feels like years until Cap turns to me and says,

"You need to do what I tell you, Ever. You're new to all of this. I can't let you slow me down."

I turn to look at him.

He adds less aggressively,

"And I don't want you to get hurt by wandering off by yourself."

I tell myself not to laugh, but he looks so serious, it's hard not to.

"I'm not Alice, Cap. I'm not gonna accidentally fall down a rabbit hole and end up having to fight the Jabberwocky. Although if I ever have a son I'm definitely naming him that. Or Bubbles."

That seems to distract Cap for a minute.

"You can't name your son Jabberwocky. Or Bubbles. That's not even a name."

"Oh, and I suppose you would name your son something old fashioned like 'Desmond' or 'Eugene'." I say.

"I would never name anyone or anything 'Desmond'." Cap insists, making a face. "I wouldn't want people thinking my son was a dickhead before they even meet him."

I bark out a laugh, and Cap looks vaguely pleased to have caused it.

Cap stops me suddenly and takes my hand in his. He fixes me with a serious look. I internally panic for a few seconds until Cap uses his ice-wand to draw a rune onto my hand. It burns a little, but not as bad as it had the first few times I was given a new rune. Maybe I'm getting used to the sensation. That scares me a little all by itself.

"This rune lets you see the demon's heat signature." Cap tells me.

I blink rapidly as the world changes all around me. It makes my head hurt, like I've pushed myself too far. Everything I see has become so much more than it ever was. I try to focus on Cap, to push the pain caused by a bout of sensory overload out of my head.

"You're really not very good at this whole 'asking' thing, are you?" I say to Cap, but I'm mostly teasing.

Cap looks suddenly a bit stricken and he drops my hand like it personally offended him in some way.

"I'm sorry, Ever." Cap says, sounding more upset than I expected. "If I ever pushed you into anything I really didn't mean-"

"Woah, woah." I say, shocked by Cap's vehemence. I take hold of his arm and drag him to a more secluded part of the street. I look at his face, taking in the guilt and, at least partly, fear. "Where is all that coming from?" I ask him.

Cap's jaw tightens noticeably and he shakes his head. He won't look at me.

"Every moment of intimacy between us has been instigated by me." Cap says, and he's definitely got a problem with that. "I don't understand what's going on with us. You. Me. And...Jace. It's confusing, and I don't know how to...act around you. And now I'm starting to realise that maybe you and I aren't on the same page about everything like I thought we were."

"Well." I say, considering my response very carefully. I can tell that Cap is being serious here, and to be honest I can't think of how to joke my way out of this one without pushing Cap very firmly away. I don't want to do that. I don't want to push him away. I want to be close to him, and that's a lot freakin' scarier to me.

"I'm on the page with a nonstop stream of 'whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck' written on it. And that pretty much sums up what I'm feeling about everything right now." I tell Cap.

Cap's mouth quirks up into a small smile and his shoulders loosen in obvious relief. He finally looks me in the eye and I'm almost shocked to see the naked vulnerability on his face. The sharp lines and angles of his features have softened and he looks, for the first time since I met him, unbearably young.

I want to touch him. I want to tell him how much I wish I understood what's happening between us, and has been happening since we met. I want him to know that part of me aches for his touch in return on a level that doesn't even make sense.

If this were Blondie then I know he would reach out and tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear, or run the pad of his thumb across my cheek gently. But this is Cap and so he goes straight in for the kill shot.

Cap presses his mouth against mine and my lips part under his instinctively. He tastes like a memory I thought I'd lost. I close my eyes and move further into Cap's space. He follows my lead and places a hand at the small of my back, pulling me in even closer. I press both of my hands against his chest, but I don't try to push him back. Instead my fingers clasp his jacket and I hold onto him, afraid that he might decide to stop if I let go.

I gasp when one of Cap's hands slides along my hip and under my t-shirt. His cold fingers skate across the skin of my hip and belly. Pinpricks of desire flare to life wherever he touches me. No one ever tells you how strangely intimate it feels to have someone touch your stomach. Caresses are usually saved or the back or waist. But being touched on the stomach is unique in that it usually doesn't happen outside of sex. It's not an obvious place to touch a person during a kiss against a wall in a dark alley.

I can imagine Cap kissing the space just below my belly button with his soft, full mouth, and even just the thought of that makes me shiver in anticipation.

I think Cap would be gentle with his kisses, but rough with his hands.

As if to prove that idea right, Cap grips the back of my thigh with one hand and hooks his other arm under my ass. He lifts me up off the ground a couple of inches and pushes me up against the wall. Our bodies are about as flush as possible whilst still wearing clothes.

Cap deepens our kiss. His tongue swipes across roof of my mouth before tangling with my own tongue. When he pulls back slightly I bite down on his lower lip, hard enough to draw blood if I wanted to. Cap makes a half growl-half groaning sound that vibrates all the way to the core of my being.

I take hold of the collar of Cap's jacket and force enough space between us that I can catch my breathe. Cap and I are both panting against each others mouth. I can feel the intense wanting that threatens to tear us apart and set fire to the pieces left behind.

There is no reasonable explanation for the words that come rasping out of my mouth then.

I press my forehead against Cap's and say breathlessly,

"I think Jace would kiss you like this if you asked him to."

A violent shiver courses through Cap's entire body. He gasps, and it sounds like it was quite literally ripped from his throat. The sound is both painful and arousing at the same time. I realise then that I would love to see Blondie kiss Cap. There's something darkly beautiful about that thought. I bet Blondie wouldn't be as gentle with Cap as he is with me. And alternately I think Cap would be far more cautious and tender when touching Blondie.

I prod at the image inside my head. I try to pick out jealousy or disgust, but all I feel is a mixture of lust and fascination.

"I saw him kiss you the day we rescued Meliorn." Cap whispers roughly. He brushes his nose against mine, nuzzling just a little bit. My hear tightens in response. Cap goes on more hesitantly, "He kissed you like you were a part of him." I can't quite tell if he's angry about that or not.

"Cap," I say meaningfully, "you already **are** a part of him."

A vital, irreplaceable part, the likes of which I could never hope to compete with. I wouldn't even want to try.

"It's not the same." Cap says, frowning slightly.

And no, he's right. It isn't the same. But not for the reason he seems to think.

Cap and I stay there, like that, so close it hurts, but with a gulf of emotion between us, for a what feels like a really long time. Eventually though we both realise that nothing is getting resolved by ignoring the world pressing in on us.

Cap lets me down gently and moves away. We stare at each other in silence. Tension becomes like smoke, burning our eyes and making it hard to see one another through it all.

"I was wrong." Cap says, still watching me intently.

"About what?" I ask curiously, trying to ignore the red puffiness of his lips where I bit and kissed it.

Cap smiles again, and it reaches his eyes this time.

"We're definitely on the same page."

I feel a smile twitch to life on my own face.

Well then, that's one less thing to worry about. Now onto the other thousand problems waiting in the wings.

...

"Do you think you and Clary will go with your Mom to Idris?" Cap asks me about half an hour later.

We're still hunting demon Chestpunch on foot through the many streets of New York. On the plus side though I'm getting the hang of this heat vision thing. Cap has been really patient with helping me concentrate. For such a cold bastard he is a very good teacher.

I glance at Cap. He isn't looking at me, his eyes are flickering around calculatingly, searching for signs of the mighty asshole Chestpunch.

Since Cap is only half listening, I feel less self-conscious about being honest with my answer.

"I don't know."

"What does that mean?" Cap asks, sounding a bit more interested now.

"It means I don't know, Cap. Seriously. I only found out I was a Shadowpuppet, like, five God damn minutes ago. It'd be nice to learn more about what I am, and of course I want to visit the Shadow mothership and fuck some shit up over there. But I also can't imagine leaving right now."

"Because of Simon?" Cap guesses.

"Yeah. Because of Simon. He's really struggling with his Mom and Lieutenant Sparkles being all up his ass about finding Lady bitchface. And then there's Valendouche. My stupid father. Trying to take over the world or whatever his suckfest of an evil villain plan is. _And_ ," I say with a bit of emphasis, "I don't think I can leave you and Blondie here by yourselves. What if one of you broke a nail or someone gave you a spontaneous hug or all the product got washed out of Blondie's hair? Chaos would reign."

"Those things do sound terrible." Cap says dryly. "But Idris is an incredible place. If you wanted to go then I could keep an eye on Simon for you. And the Valentine situation is more of a Clave problem. Just because he's your father doesn't mean it's your responsibility to stop him."

"What about you and Blondie? Would you be ok if I left." I ask, only half-joking this time.

Cap's expression tightens. He looks like he's trying very hard to control his natural reaction to the question.

"I want you to be safe." Cap says finally. " _Jace_ wants you to be safe. We both want...you... to be...safe."

"Wow, remind me to buy you a thesaurus, Cap." I tease.

"Look," Cap says, his voice dropping back into something harsh and moody, "I'm not that great with words-"

"Oh, but the sheer poetry of your frowny faces are without compare-"

"Ever!"

"Cap!"

Cap glares at me. I grin back at him. The universe is in balance once again.

"I don't think I've ever had an easy conversation with you." Cap mutters.

"Meh, you have easy conversations with the mail man, not besties."

"We are not 'besties'." Cap _lies_.

"We totally are though." I poke Cap's arm. "We're, like, the best besties who ever dared to best. In bestland."

Cap doesn't appear to agree. But what does he know? He's just a grumpy hedgehog who desperately needs a cuddle. I would give him a cuddle myself but I'm too busy hunting demons and shit. All this walking around and forcing my eyes not to freak out inside my head is tiring. I really wish I could nap. I miss naps. Sleeping is one of my favourite things to do next to eating and bothering Clary.

"I don't know what I did in a previous life to deserve the punishment of your existence being inflicted upon me." Cap says caustically. "But it must have been something really awful."

I ignore his blathering about nonsense and ask,

"After we find this uncoordinated demon and send him back to Narnia or Asgard or wherever demons actually come from, can we start hunting for-"

"For the last time, no." Cap growls. "We are not going to hunt for Unicorns."

"Why not?" I demand.

"Because," Cap sighs huffily, "as I've explained to you numerous times-Unicorns. Do not. **Exist**."

I gasp dramatically.

"That is a _terrible_ thing to say."

"Did I just crush your dreams?"

"Yes. All of my dreams. Utterly destroyed."

"Good."

"You are a mean person." I declare.

Cap smirks slightly at me and says,

"I know." He sounds quite pleased about it. Stupid pissy hedgehog.

It's right about then that Cap and I actually find traces of blood spattered across the ground. Using my new modified vision I follow the trail to an alleyway. There are great big smears of blood on a collection of bins near the entrance to the alleyway.

Cap readies his weapon and I take out Tony. My trusty demon smiter.

I follow Cap into the alley. We move slowly and cautiously. I half expect Chestpunch to leap out of the one of the bins and attack us, but all we find upon further investigation is a scared Asian-looking girl. The girl is shaking from head to toe, the skin under left eye keeps twitching. She's clearly in some form of shock. Her right hand is covered in a thick layer of blood.

Twitchy looks up at us fearfully.

"What's going on? What happened?" She sputters incoherently.

I make a move towards Twitchy, but she curls in on herself and shies away from me. I don't move any closer just in case it freaks her out even more.

"You don't have to be afraid of us." I tell Twitchy. "We're here to help. I think." I look at Cap and whisper to him, "Are we here to help? She isn't the demon in disguise, right?"

Cap shakes his head inconspicuously and I feel myself relax a little bit. I really did not want to have to take down Twitchy in all her yellow cardigan wearing glory.

"She's experiencing a classic demon possession hangover." Cap explains to me. "Once the demon leaves the body, they have no memory of what they did."

"Um." I jerky my thumb at the shivering yellow cardigan currently wearing a bloody girl. "I think you'll find it's name is Twitchy."

Cap gives me a sardonic look of displeasure.

"Oh my god, is this blood?!" Twitchy shrieks, staring down at her bloodied hand.

I kneel down next Twitchy and gently touch her shoulder.

"Hey, look at me." I say, trying to distract he from focusing on all the worst things.

Twitchy attention snaps to my face.

"I don't understand. What's going on?"

I squeeze her shoulder in what I hope is a comforting gesture and look her directly in the eye.

"This is gonna sound like complete crap, but you really don't have to be afraid. My name is Ever, and this is my sidekick, Alec." I say as calmly a I can manage given the situation. I keep my grip on her shoulder and my voice both even and gentle. "I know this is confusing as fuck, trust me. But I swear you're going to be ok."

Twitchy seems only slightly reassured, which is fair enough. I can't blame her for freaking out. It's not every day you get possessed by demon and forced to kill a guy. That's not even most days for some people.

Twitchy closes her eyes and ducks her head down between her knees. I rub her back soothingly and her breathing returns to something resembling normal.

I glance up at Cap. He's watching me with an expression on his face that I can't read. This is one reason why I need Blondie here, to tell me what Cap's many robotic faces mean.

...

Once we've sorted out the traumatised girl, Cap and I head back to the Institute. Unfortunately, not long after we arrive, another body turns up inside the Institute with his chest ripped open, which means the demon highjacked his way into the secret Shadow club house.

"I've ordered the Institute to be put on lockdown until we kill this thing." Stoneface says. She's been marching around the war room giving out orders to anyone who isn't already going into panic mode. Most of the extras are just bumbling around not doing much, which is concerning because they're supposed to be the fully trained Shadowwhatsits. I mean, I really shouldn't be better at this whole demon stalking nonsense than a group of randoms who've been training for it all their lives.

Clary scowls worriedly.

"How did the demon even get past the wards?"

"It must advanced cloaking abilities." Isy-tron says. "It hid in that dead body and let us do the rest."

"Demons can do that?" Clary asks, obviously horrified by the idea.

I nudge Clary in the side.

"Word on the street is that it's the latest craze amongst the more glamorous demons."

Clary sniffs in displeasure at me. Rude.

"We think all of this is happening because of Valentine." Isy-tron says. She gives Clary a regretful look.

"It's probably one of his sick experiments." Clary says, wrinkling her nose in distaste.

"Daddy pyscho wants to create a really powerful thingy that can destroy the Clavicle for him." I say. "Blondie was his first thingy attempt."

"Both of the demon's victims had damage to the prefrontal cortex." Isy-tron says. "The demon must be feeding on negative emotions: Hatred, anger, rage. Causing the host to act on those violent urges."

"We need to keep scanning for venom and heat signatures." Cap says. He braces his hands on one of the large metallic tables and frowns down at the surface of it. "This demon being trapped inside the Institute should at least make it easier to find the newest host."

Stoneface brings up a hologram of the Institute on one of their fancy computer systems and starts sectioning it off, handing out areas for each of us to search.

"Alec, you check the living quarters." Stoneface orders. She points at Clary and Isy-tron, "You two take the utility tunnels."

I raise my hand.

"Um, where am I going? I am awaiting orders, ma'am." I mock salute Stoneface. She does not appear impressed.

"I assumed you'd be going with Alec." Stoneface says, shrugging.

"Why?" I ask, not bothering to hide my confusion.

Isy-tron snorts out a brief laugh.

"Because my brother will probably get himself killed worrying about you if you aren't standing right by his side at all times."

"Shut up, Izzy." Cap growls, his cheeks burning pink in embarrassment. "Take your girlfriend and go search for the damn demon."

Isy-tron raises both her hands in surrender, although her knowing grin is anything but apologetic. Clary shoots me a similar look of amusement and follows Isy-tron's lead out of the room.

I catch Cap's eye and the memory of making out with him in an alley just a few hours ago causes me to blush.

In that one moment we lost ourselves in each other. Completely.

There's something about Cap that undoes me. He makes me forget all the reasons why I'm supposed to not want him. His touch and voice overwhelm me. He makes me wish I'd met him somewhere else, at some other time in my life.

I force myself to look away from Cap and say,

"Come on then my valiant knight in black cotton and leather, let's go catch ourselves a chest punching butthead."

...

Whilst Cap and I are inspecting the living quarters, Stonface is attacked by Chestpunch. She's beat up pretty bad, but Cap saved her from a far worse fate.

I leave Cap and go with Clary to find our Mom. We really need to have some family time right about now.

"I don't think I can go to Idris." Clary confesses to me. Her expression is pained.

I take her hand and squeeze it.

"Because of Valentine?" I ask.

Clary squeezes my hand back and nods.

"Yeah. I've seen what he's capable of, Ever. I can't just leave whilst he's still out there. And..." Clary bites her lip in consideration. She puffs out a breathe. "And there are people here I don't want to say goodbye to yet."

"I get you." I say, wrapping an arm around Clary's shoulders. "I'm not too crazy about leaving before we take down Evil Dad either. Plus there's Simon. He needs us right now. And I will help him if he ever answers his damn phone. I've been trying to call him all day. He better just be having a _really_ long shower. If I find out he's been ignoring me on purpose I'll kick his vampy ass into the sun."

Clary laughs a little at that.

"Our family drama has kinda overshadowed his whole being a vampire problem." She says.

I wince.

"Yeah, I've been a sucky friend to him lately."

"You did what you thought was best at the time." Clary argues. "Simon knows how much you care about him."

I'm not so sure about that. Simon's been my best friend for a long time, and almost losing him broke something inside me. Even more so because it was my fault. Just being my friend got Simon killed. I'll never stop feeling guilty about that. I don't think I deserve to stop feeling guilty about it.

Clary seems to take my lack of response as agreement. She asks meaningfully,

"What about Alec and Jace? Even if Valentine wasn't a problem and Simon wasn't, well, a vampire. Would you be ok with leaving them?"

I have no idea how to answer that question.

"Jace is...our brother." I say after a long pause. Even the words taste wrong.

Clary hesitates before saying,

"Yeah. He is. And he's being prosecuted on bogus charges by the Clave. We can't let them blame him for Valentine's crimes."

Clary's right of course, Blondie needs our support more so now than ever. The Clavicle is trying to make Blondie their scapegoat and there's no way we can let that fly without a fight.

In my head, and damn it my stupid heart as well, Blondie isn't my just brother. He's so much more than that. I can't explain why or how it happened, but Blondie has become very important to me. I'll do whatever it takes to protect him from Grandfather Willow's witch hunt. Blondie deserves that. He deserves the chance to work on his shit without being threatened with life imprisonment.

As shitty as it was for me and Clary to find out that our long lost father is psychotic asshole, at least we weren't raised by the bastard. I can't even imagine what level of psychological trauma Blondie had to suffer through. I can't help but wonder what it would have been like if Blondie had grown up with me and Clary. He probably would have been an overprotective big brother. He would have been annoyed by his little sisters wanting to hang around with him all the time. He would have been a massive momma's boy.

I think I would have liked having an older brother.

But then, if Blondie had grown up with us, he wouldn't have formed such a close bond with Cap and Isy-tron. Maybe if Blondie and Cap met later in life they wouldn't have become para-bow-tai's.

"Don't worry, sis. I'm already working on a jail break plan just in case the Clavicle decide to be even bigger assholes than usual." I say.

"Is that meant to reassure me?" Clary asks sceptically. "Because it really doesn't."

"You're just saying that because you haven't heard my plan yet." I scold.

"You really have a plan?" Clary arches a decidedly dubious eyebrow.

"Yes." I say, offended by her lack of faith.

" _Really_?"

I narrow my eyes at her.

"I have a plan."

Clary's doesn't look convinced.

I huff out an exasperated breathe.

"Alright, fine, I have _part_ of a plan."

"What exact percentage of a plan do you actually have as of right now?" Clary asks.

I think about that.

"Uh...probably...15%."

"Ever!"

"What? 15% is better than no plan at all."

"I'm sure Jace will be relieved to know that we have 15% of a plan to rescue him from Shadowhunter prison." Clary says sarcastically.

I flick her on the nose for her cheek. Why am I the only one who's ever serious about anything?

"Hey, if you can convince Isy-tron to seduce one of the Quiet Cousins then we'll have at least 48% of a plan."

"Quiet Cousins?"

"Yeah, those voodoo face mofos."

"You mean the Silent Brothers."

"I know what I mean!"

"Your train of thought is just one ridiculous thing after another isn't it?"

"That's it, you're officially the meanest member of our family." I huff.

Clary stares at me disbelievingly.

I relent.

"Fine, first Valentine, and then you," I make a very small gap between my forefinger and thumb, "but it's _close_."

Clary and I bicker back and forth for a while whilst searching for our mother. When we can't find her in any of the obvious places, we head back the way we came, hoping we some how just accidentally missed her.

Of course when we find Cap kneeling next to another victim of the demon, our entire world changes yet again.

Clary almost goes to her knees when we find our mother lying dead on the floor with her chest ripped open. Cap tried to prevent me and Clary from seeing her like that, but he wasn't fast enough.

I wrap my arms around Clary to stop her from falling and close my burning eyes tightly shut, trying purge the image of my dead mother out of my head forever. My throat tightens painfully at the sound of Clary's broken sob. She shudders in my arms, grief overwhelming both of us for truly horrific moment.

I don't have much time to deal with this latest blow because Clary storms off in search of the demon and find it in the form of a black eyed Isy-tron. Her hand is bloody and it takes effort not to fall apart at the sight of it.

Mine and Clary's pain is put on the back burner for now as anger takes over. Rage and the need to destroy hardens my heart to solid stone inside my chest.

Cap is immediately on his feet again, making a grab for his bow and arrow.

"The demon's inside her." Clary says, sounding breathless. She took out her own weapon at the same time as I unleashed Tony.

"It's still Isy." Cap warns. "Be careful where you aim."

The demon snarls viciously at us and makes a run for Clary first. Clary tries to deflect, but the demon grabs hold of her arm and flings her across the room like she's no heavier than a pillow.

Fear creeps in, but my grief and fury keeps it at bay.

Cap fires a shot at the demon and the arrow goes through Isy-tron's shoulder. The demon growls like a demented lioness, more out of anger than pain. Cap runs forward whilst the demon is distracted and grabs hold of his sister's possessed body.

The demon flips Cap over Isy-tron's shoulder. Cap hits the floor hard and with an alarming amount of speed, the demon leaps onto him.

I wield Tony with more enthusiasm than skill and stab Isy-tron through the shoulder. The demon screeches as I yank the blade back out and black smoke pours out of the wound. Isy-tron's body collapses like a limp doll.

Clary is back on her feet and rushing to my side before the demon can fully manifest into its true form. Clary slices through the demon with her blade and it burns out of existence.

I fall to my knees beside Cap and grab fretfully at him, the demon instantly forgotten in favour of making sure that Cap is unharmed. Cap hit the ground pretty fucking hard when the demon flipped him. I pull his head into my lap and feel hot tears begin to fall from my eyes.

Cap looks blearily up at me, but upon seeing my obvious distress his eyes clear of confusion and he struggles to sit up. I barely register Cap pulling me into a strong embrace.

I search frantically for Clary for a few seconds, but I quickly realise that she's tending to Isy-tron only a few feet away.

I let myself burrow into Cap's chest as we both watch our siblings with anguished stares. Cap is just as fearful for Isy-tron's mental state as I am for Clary's. After a while Isy-tron wakes up confused and delirious. Cap, Clary and I put in a joint effort to pull her over to us.

We form a heap of physically and emotionally exhausted people.

But despite our growing despair, or maybe because of it, we all hold onto one another as if we're afraid one of us will disappear if we let go even a little.

That's how a bloody and beat up Blondie, an also very beat up Grandfather Willow, and a strangely chipper Simon find us however much later.

Simon joins us on the floor and Clary wraps her arms around him almost instantly. He squeezes her tightly to his chest and gives me a questioning look over her shoulder. I'm in no fit state to answer him so I turn away from the confusion in his eyes and fix my attention on Blondie. He hovers in the doorway looking unsure and oddly vulnerable, like a kid who's just caught one of his parents crying for the first time.

I motion for him to come closer and he complies with only slight hesitation.

Blondie kneels down beside Cap and Isy-tron, who has her head resting on Cap's lap.

I watch Blondie from my place against Cap's chest. He reaches out for my hand and I let him take it. Cap and Blondie lock eyes for a emotionally charged moment and they bump their foreheads together. Cap removes one arm from being around me to grasp hold of Blondie's other hand.

Despite the awfulness of the last hour, having both Blondie and Cap at my side gives me strength and reassures my now fragile heart that I am not alone in this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special shout out to anyone who commented-YOU PEOPLE ARE MY ROCK STARS! Seriously, I cannot explain to you how happy your comments make me. You're simply the best. Better than all the rest. (Please imagine that Tina Turner is singing that at you).


	24. Grief, Whiskey And Barney

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barney the purple dinosaur is slang for drugs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N-I just wanted say how sorry I am for taking this long to update. I've been going through a serious case of writers block and I hope you can forgive me. I truly appreciate your continued support and I promise the next chapter will be out a lot sooner. xx
> 
> A/N(2)-And to all the people who asked, yes, that was a Guardians of the Galaxy reference last chapter. I wondered how many people would catch that. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do NOT own Shadowhunters. Or The Mortal Instruments. The only thing I own in this fic is my character 'Ever'.

"I don't know what to say." Clary admits.

"Is my Hebrew that bad?" Simon jokes, but it falls kind of flat.

Me, Clary and Simon are sitting around a lit candle in Simon's super secret new vampy lair down by the docks. There are crates and lots of random bits of rope lying around for some reason. No spinny chair though, which kind of invalidates its right to be called a lair. But maybe that's just the rule for _evil_ lairs. Simon's lair isn't evil. It's sad. Definitely sad, like woah. But not evil.

I think we can all agree that Simon isn't sparkly enough to be evil.

Clary looks down at her hands and does that finger-twiddling thing with her thumbs. She always does that when she's uncomfortable.

"I just wish we could get a hold of Luke." Clary says into the heavy silence.

"He usually gives us a heads up before he skips out of town." I say.

"Guys," Simon says, looking very uncomfortable for obvious reasons, "Luke loved your Mom. He might need some time to himself to get his head on straight after... what happened."

I almost flinch. Even thinking about my Mom being dead is too much for me to process right now. I can't take it. Not now, not after everything that's happened. We were finally getting to a semi-ok place with our Mom. And now everything has all gone to shit so damn fast that I almost feel like I missed it even though I was _right there_.

"It broke me when you died, Si." I say, looking up at Simon. He blinks rapidly, like what I said surprised him. But then he reaches out to grasp hold of my left hand in both of his and presses a light kiss to my fingers. It's an intimate gesture that settles something inside me. A raw ache in my chest fades away and is replaced by a familiar warmth.

Simon is my best friend. That fact is the one thing I have to hold onto in the middle of all this shit. He's stood by me in ways no sane person would have. He forgave me for letting him become a vampire. For failing him so completely.

I know without a doubt that I do not deserve Simon. But I'm glad he thinks that I do.

I glance over at Clary and frown when I see that she's curled in on herself. She's staring at the floor with her arms wrapped tightly around her waist. She has tear tracks on her cheeks and it's obvious that she hasn't slept at all in the last few days. She looks like hell. It hurts me to see her so torn down. Clary was a lot closer to Mom than I was, which doesn't mean our Mom's death is less of a blow to me, but maybe it feels like more for Clary.

Ever since we found Mom dead on the floor and Clary killed that demon, she's been acting distant and unresponsive. I keep trying to reach her but no matter what I say or do it doesn't seem to make a difference.

It could be just because I'm shit at comforting people. Clary was always the kind and caring one. I was just the weird loud mouth. And that was fine for our old lives where all we had to worry about were stuff like school and part-time jobs and bickering over unimportant things. But now we're dealing with death and chaos on a daily basis, and I don't know how we're going to survive it anymore.

Clary and I aren't Shadowpuppets. We weren't raised to deal with this demon crap invading our lives and burning it to the ground. How can I comfort Clary when I can't even promise that things will get better? I have no idea if anything will be ok again, let alone better.

I think about touching Clary's shoulder to get her attention when her head suddenly snaps up and she looks directly at Simon. She has a kind of mad intensity in her eyes that makes me shift on my crate uncomfortably. Like if Clary had laser vision then Simon would be literal vamp toast right now.

"You were dead." Clary says to Simon, which, kind of rude, right?

"Yeah." Simon says a bit warily. "I know. I was there. Ever put me in a hole. I had to eat dirt. It was very creepy."

I pierce Simon with a _Look_ of my own and slap his shoulder.

"Hey, I didn't put you in a hole, ok. Lieutenant Sparkles insisted that you had to pretend to be a zombie to get into the vamp club."

"I bet that was a bucket of bullshit." Simon huffs. "I don't see why he didn't just make me eat the graveyard dirt without actually being buried alive."

"First of all, you think Lieutenant Sparkles was, what, hazing you or some shit? They're vampires Si, not frat boys." I lift two fingers and point them at him. "And two, you weren't buried alive. You were buried sleepy-dead. Totally different."

"What are you, Raphael's press advisor?" Simon pokes me. Then he starts imitating my voice when he says, "No, no, Lieutenant Sparkles sir, you tell them he was 'sleepy-dead' not 'dead-dead' or 'alive', that'll sound better and more dynamic to your adoringly misguided Twilight-loving supporters." He splays his fingers out like he's doing low-key jazz hands.

"You were dead...but you came back." Clary says, ignoring me and still staring intently at Simon. Finally she does look at me when the silence has stretched on for far too long and what she says crushes my heart to dust inside my chest. "Maybe we could bring Mom back."

Oh, no. Oh no, no, no, no. Nothing good can come from this line of thinking, nothing good at all. This isn't an episode of Supernatural. We are not Winchesters. People don't just die and come back to life because of bad writing. Our Mom is dead and there's fuck all we can do about that. Because the fact is that everybody dies. People live and fight and scream and cry and laugh and love and then they die. And they stay dead.

Unless they pull a Simon and become a sparkly person, in which case they'll spend the rest of their sort-of-life trying to find the balance between who they are and who they were. Even now, I'm not sure if I made the right decision to keep Simon. I really wish it had been his choice and not mine, although that seems like a selfish thing to want as well. I ruined his life, I know that, and I don't think I'll ever be able to make that right.

"Clary-" I say softly, but Clary cuts me off.

"No, Ever." Clary shakes her head once in a sharp motion. Her eyes glisten with angry, desperate tears. "We live in a world now where impossible things are possible. Why should I give up on getting our Mom back after everything we've seen? I won't do it, Ever. I won't give up on her."

I place my hand on Clary's shoulder tentatively. She shrugs it off and stands up, moving away from both me and Simon. She looks like a wild animal that has just escaped being cornered. It hurts that she's looking at me like I'm the enemy, but I get why she needs to hold onto this crazy 'bring our Mom back from the dead' idea. Part of me wants to believe we could actually do it. Most of me knows that it will only be more painful later if I let myself feel hope now. It'd be like losing our Mom twice.

I try to reach out to my sister again.

"Clary, please-"

"Fine." Clary snaps, shooting me a glare full of betrayal. "I'll work out how to do it on my own." Then she stalks off, full of grief fuelled rage.

I sigh hopelessly and go to follow after her, but Simon grabs hold of my wrist. He pulls me back down onto my seat and says,

"Maybe give her a minute to cool off, Ev's."

I nod reluctantly in agreement. Clary is hot-headed at the best of times, and right now she won't accept anything other than complete compliance from anybody, especially me.

...

"What exactly did she say to you?" I ask Magnus.

Maggie the magnificent makes a face, clearly uncomfortable. He texted me half an hour ago to tell me that Clary had been to see him. That set off alarm bells in my head and I instantly headed right over to his place with Simon in tow.

I also finally responded to the three million texts and phone calls from Cap and Blondie. I felt like a bitch for ignoring them, but I needed some space after...well, everything. Losing my Mom was bad enough without the added craziness of my messy relationship with Cap and Blondie. I texted them, saying that I was fine and that they could stop running around like confused tortoises. Cap immediately tried to call me, and I figured they were together.

I didn't answer the call for a few reasons. One, because I'm not ready to give up my newfound space yet. Two, because I'm afraid if I see them then I'll break down all over again. And three, because I'm just kind of an asshole like that. So.

"She came bursting in like a red headed tornado and asked me about bringing the dead back to life." Magnus tells me, not sounding very pleased about any of it.

"You told her that going full on necromancer isn't possible, right?" I say, really hoping for a straightforward 'yes' in response.

"It is possible." Magnus says unhappily. "With dark magic. _Very_ dark magic."

I clasp my hands together and hold them against my chest. I stare at Magnus beseechingly.

"Please tell me you lied to my very vulnerable and very stupid sister, Maggie."

A flash of guilt crosses over Magnus' face before he has a chance to shut it down.

"Not...exactly." He admits.

"Oh my smurf!" I exclaim, closing my eyes tightly shut and shaking my head. "We are all doomed! Doomed I say. My sister is going to go dark side and accidentally unleash a zombie army upon the world!"

I glance at Simon, hoping for some reassurance. He shrugs one shoulder and says,

"Probably, yeah."

So not helpful omega sparkles.

I turn away from Simon to fix Magnus with a look that I hope conveys my displeasure with his existence at the moment. Magnus just stares back at me unflinchingly.

As much as I would like to think that Clary is smart enough to recognise how insane it would be to try and use dark magic to bring our mother back from the dead...I know it isn't that simple. Clary is grieving, which is inevitably going to make stupid ideas sound like good ones for a while. Grief is a bitch that wants you to do crazy shit so it can continue to control your life.

"You didn't tell her you'd do it though." I say with more confidence than I actually feel. But I'm pretty sure that Magnus wouldn't have called me over if he'd agreed to help Clary with her descent into madness.

Magnus looks suddenly very offended, like a fabulous kitten wearing a tiara who a tiny dog dared to growl at. That mental image, despite the utter shitstorm that is my life right now, almost makes me smile.

"No, of course not."

"Then what happened? Did she flounce off in a huffy teenage angst ridden rage?" I ask, easily able to picture that inside my head.

Magnus' expression becomes grave, and a melancholy look enters his eyes. I recognise the old, long forgotten pain on his face, as it mirrors the confused mess of feelings that coil and writhe inside of me now. I would struggle to describe it to anyone who hasn't already experienced something similar. Loss is a scar left on the inside of your heart that has the ability to heal, but never fade.

"I told Clary about my mother." Magnus says quietly, with a deep sense of discarded grief. "She took her life when she realised the son she bore had the blood of a demon running through his veins." He makes a gesture towards his eyes. Eyes that can turn enchantingly into those of a cat. He adds darkly, "She said she no longer saw me as her child, but as an abomination she had unwillingly inflicted upon the world."

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can be burnt into your soul forever.

Holy shit, Magnus' mother was a drama queen and half. But she also committed suicide, which is awful and sad.

"Your Mom sounds like a bitch." I say, and then immediately wince. "Sorry." I tack on, trying my best to sound sincere.

Instead of getting upset or angry Magnus actually barks out a laugh, and some of that old pain leaves his eyes.

"You really need to work on your brain to mouth filter, Zany."

I raise an eyebrow at him.

"Is that your new nickname for me? Because if so, I approve, Maggie."

Magnus gives me another amused look before throwing himself down on a fancy pants sofa that looks like it was stolen from a Peruvian palace. For all I know, it could have been. Magnus seems like the type of person who sees something he wants and is like 'this is mine now' and then just takes it.

I am also that kind of person. When we were little I used to take Halloween candy from Clary and lick it so that Clary wouldn't want it anymore. Because she's a princess like that. Clary tried to do the same thing to me one year and I ate the candy she licked anyway. I mean, we were eight and it was just my twin's spit. We've shared far grosser things. Like a womb. Besides, it was the principle of it all and candy is candy.

Magnus lets out what sounds like an exhausted sigh. I'm feeling pretty fed up myself. But its actually Simon who speaks into the newfound silence.

"You have alcohol somewhere around here, right? Please say that you do."

Magnus nods, looking interested in the idea of getting a mind numbing drink.

"I remember where the stuff is." I announce. "I'll be back in a sec."

Simon falls down onto a large loveseat and pumps a fist into the air, mouthing a silent 'yes' in approval. He glances over at Magnus and gives him two thumbs up. Magnus stares back at Simon half curious, half disturbed, and calls out to me without looking away from Simon,

"Just bring an entire bottle of whatever you find, Zany, love."

Yep, that nickname is definitely here to stay.

I find Magnus' alcohol stash and go poking through the bottles until I find some expensive looking cognac. I figure Magus won't mind since he has, like, a million bottles in here of all different shapes and sizes. The one I've chosen is round like a large potion vile. I grab three whiskey tumblers and take them along with the cognac back into the living room.

When I find Simon and Magnus still giving each other odd looks I snort at them.

"You two better not bone right in front of me." I say in warning. "I am a sensitive soul."

I thump the bottle of cognac and the three glasses onto a large mahogany coffee table. I pour a bit of the amber liquid into each tumbler before settling myself down on the possible stolen royal sofa next to Magnus. I hold out a half full glass to Magnus and takes it from me with a flourish. He's finally taken his eyes off Simon, which is good. I really don't need to be stuck in the middle of an eye-sex marathon between Young Dracula and Male Sabrina.

Simon makes a face at me and picks up his drink from the dark wood table.

"Oh yeah, because that would be so much more traumatising than your weird poly thing with Sad Face and Mad Face."

I cough with a mouthful of whiskey and almost choke to death right there on the sofa. Magnus pats my back until I've calmed down. He looks more amused than concerned for me though. Which, rude.

I glare at Simon.

"First of all," I say, "that is brilliant description of Blondie and Cap, so thank you for that. Secondly, I have no idea what you speak of, my relationship with Cap and Blondie is purely professional."

Both Simon and Magnus gives me matching looks of disbelief that practically emanate 'fucking _what_?'.

"You must be joking." Magnus says at the same time Simon throws a pillow at my face.

"She's full of shit." Simon tells Magnus. When I throw the pillow back at Simon with twice the amount of force and glare at him with glaratude for good measure, he just rolls his eyes at me and says, "Ev's, in the last few weeks I've died and become a vampire. If I can accept that then you can accept your tru wuv threeway."

"Yeah," I scoff, "because I don't have about a million other things to worry about right now than my stupid love life." It feels like a betrayal to be so dismissive of whatever is going on between me, Cap and Blondie, but I can't find it in myself to take the words back.

"Well, you are a teenager." Magnus says, as if that explains everything. Actually, it probably does.

I swallow the rest of the whiskey left inside my glass, and as it burns down my throat, I think about all the shit I would wish for if I could.

I would wish my Mom was alive, for obvious reasons. I'd wish my Dad wasn't such a massive douchecanoe. I'd wish the Nephilim weren't in the middle of a civil war. I'd wish that my sister was ready to face reality.

I'd wish I had the time or the headspace to really figure out what exactly I'm supposed to feel about the two men who have changed my life irrevocably in such a short amount of time.

But I don't have time to think, and all the things that are fucked up aren't going to become unfucked just by me wishing it so. My Mom is still dead. My Dad still needs to be taken down. My sister is still losing her damn mind. And I have no idea how I'm going to make any of it right without the help of the two people who complicate everything even more just by being themselves.

I force myself to shake off the thoughts that threaten to choke me and try to focus on something, anything, that doesn't make me want to shout or scream or laugh hysterically until it hurts.

"Does your Mom really believe the whole Band On Tour lie that Lieutenant Sparkles told her?" I ask Simon, because I need a distraction and I really do want to know.

Magnus looks up a that, his expression morphing into something less bored. I wouldn't quite describe it as 'interested', but I'll take it.

"Lieutenant Sparkles is Raphael, correct?" Magnus asks me.

"Yes." I say, bobbing my head in a nod. "We don't like him. He doesn't sparkle _and_ he's a lying liar who lies. That's two strikes. One more and I'll be forced to vote him off the Island."

"Yeah, plus there's the part where he _threatened_ me." Simon snaps huffily. Oh, for fucks sake, not this again.

I wave a hand at Simon dismissively.

"Alright, keep your Spiderman boxers untwisted Batboy wonder. Yes, the evil smarmy vampy person was mean to you, I know, we get it."

"He threatened my mother!" Simon says, outraged. He flaps his arms around so wildly that a few drops of precious liquid gold splatter onto the floor.

"Rude." Magnus mutters, and I can't tell if he means the spilled drink or the Mom threatening thing. Either way, I agree wholeheartedly.

"You should just tell the Fang Gang to piss off and go back home to live with your Mom." I advise. A fist of unpleasant emotion clenches in my gut. "You know your Mom worries about you all the time. She texts me as often as she texts who to make sure that you're ok."

Simon screws up his nose and pulls a face.

"I don't know why she trusts you to tell her how I'm doing. All you ever do is shout at me or call me names or throw my glasses or turn me into a vampire."

"I turned you into a vampire _once_. Besides, that was weeks ago, you really need to get over it." I say, holding up a finger and pointing it at him. "And I only call you names when you displease me. Take some responsibility, Si."

Simon does not look impressed by my sound logic.

"I don't think my Mom would want me in the house if she found out what I am." Simon says, apparently deciding to ignore my insanity for now.

"Your Mom loves the crap out of you Si." I say, because that's one thing I _know_ is true. "Even if she did freak out, and I mean yeah, who wouldn't? She'd get over it eventually."

Simon starts gnawing on his bottom lip, and I resist the urge to make a joke about his fangs.

"Keep that up Si and you'll be the first Vampy person to accidentally drink your own blood." I say.

Alright, the secrets out, my self control is for shit. Sorry folks. I did try.

"I wouldn't be so sure." Magnus says, smirking slightly. "Vampires are kinky bastards."

"I really, truly, absolutely, do _not_ want to know." Simon says, holding his hands up in front of him, as if to ward off evil. Or talking about the suspected kinkiness of vampires.

Considering what I know about The Fang Gang so far, I think Magnus is probably right. Hell, he's probably had enough sparkly sex to know for sure.

Magnus leans forward to refill his glass, but stops before he pours and makes a face.

"This shit tastes like battery acid." Magnus says, putting the bottle of whiskey back down onto the table and eyeing it with open disgust.

"Well you didn't tell me to go for the non-battery acid alcohol. Next time be more specific with your orders." I say.

Magnus rolls his eyes at me and gets up, wandering off, presumably to find a better quality drink.

Once Magnus disappears around the corner I shoot Simon a questioning look and ask him quietly,

"So, are you gonna frik frak the Witch, Si?"

Simon chokes on another mouthful of battery acid and sputters uselessly at me, his eyes blown wide in surprise.

"What?" He finally manages to get out.

I raise an eyebrow at him consideringly.

"I was just asking. You guys seem to be getting along."

Simon looks both offended and highly scandalised, like he's two seconds away from clutching at his non-existent pearls.

"Oh, so just because I get on with someone that means I'm automatically going to fuck them?"

I shrug one shoulder.

"I dunno. Maggie is pretty epic. And hot. So.…"

Simon doesn't seem convinced.

"Yeah, he's hot, but he's not my type. And I'm not his type either."

My interest increases at that.

"Not his type? Have you guys already talked about this or something?"

Simon shifts in his seat uncomfortably, looking weirdly serious, which is definitely confusing. What's been going on with Simon and Magnus? I mean, I know Magnus helped Simon out with the whole Camille Mc bitchface situation, but I had no idea anything else was going on. I was mostly just joking about Simon maybe having it off with Magnus.

"Maybe. Sort of. It's complicated." Simon explains haltingly. "I'm dealing with a lot right now. My Mom. The vampire bullshit. Magnus has offered to help me, kinda, get used to being a Downworlder."

"What, like he'll be your supernatural sponsor?" I ask, not sure whether to be amused or worried by that idea.

"I need all the help I can get." Simon shrugs, his expression somber.

I move over to the where Simon is sitting and smoosh up close to him. I wrap an arm around his shoulders and squeeze him tightly.

"I'm really sorry, Si. I've been a shitty friend lately."

Simon shakes his head. He presses a brief kiss to my temple.

"You've had your own shit to worry about, Ev's. Your Dad. Your sister. The whole Shadowhunter thing. Your...Mom." He adds hesitantly. "And none of it is your fault. I know you did the best you could. You're scarily strong, Ever. I couldn't have handled all of the things you have without cracking, no way."

"I don't feel strong." I admit, sighing in defeat.

"Yeah, well, too bad. Because you are." Simon teases.

"You're pretty badass too, Si." I tell him.

Simon clears his throat and says in a fake deep Batman voice,

"I know. I'm Simon motherfucking Lewis."

I snort and we both start to laugh.

…..

I get a call from an unknown number, and I answer because considering what my life is like at the moment it's probably my future self calling to tell me something cryptic and important.

I press the phone against the side of my head and say,

"Go ahead caller, you are on the air."

I get the immediate response of,

" _We have a problem_."

And because I'm so tired of fucking problems, and because I'm an asshole, I say,

"You've called the wrong number. Hold on, I'll transfer you to Houston."

" _Ever!_ " Blondie shrieks into my ear.

Ok, so he doesn't exactly shriek, but Blondie does have this thing where when he's upset or frustrated his voice goes just a bit higher than normal. It's kind of weirdly endearing. Cap's voice actually does the complete opposite when he's frustrated and his voice becomes much deeper, almost gravely.

Wait, hold on a frik fraking minute.

"Blondie?" I say in confusion. "Why are you calling me on an unknown number? Have you found the last working payphone in New York? Did you steal an iPhone from a rich muggle hipster?"

Because that's what I would do. From what I know of wealthy gap year beanie wearing twenty-something year olds, they have at least three phones on them at all times anyway.

Clary and Simon like to make fun of me because I still use my trusty Nokia 3310. But it has everything I need. I can call people, I can text, plus it has a calculator and the Snake game. That shit never gets old. Tetris and candy crush and angry birds can piss off. The Snake game is where its at.

" _No I did not steal anyone's phone you lunatic_." Blondie says irritably. " _I borrowed a phone from someone because you wouldn't pick up for me or Alec and-_ "

"You borrowed a phone from someone? Who? Barney?" I ask, ignoring both Blondie's obvious annoyance and the stab of guilt that pierces my gut at the reminder me refusing to answer Blondie's calls and texts.

I don't even really know the full story of how Blondie got out of Shadowpuppet jail. I was told the abbreviated version, which was basically just that my father showed up and stole the Soul Sword of destiny or whatthefuckever and Blondie saved Grandfather Willow's life for some reason. Apparently saving the life of a tree wearing a waist coat gets you a free out of Puppet jail card. Yay?

" _Yeah. I borrowed the dino phone from my good friend Barney_." Blondie says, his voice heavy with sarcasm.

I snort into the phone.

"Liar. You're too angsty and cool to have friends. Friends are for nerds."

" _You have friends_." Blondie argues.

"No." I say. "I have a Simon. That hardly counts."

" _Good point, but you...wait, for fucks sake, Ever, stop distracting me._ " Blondie says in frustration.

"Distracting you from what?" I ask. "You're not trying to juggle fire batons and talk to me at the same time are you?"

" _No_." Blondie says drolly. " _I wouldn't do that without you here. I've seen how well you handle a fire extinguisher-...what, no, give it back!_ "

Blondie's voice fades a little bit and becomes muffled as he makes an attempt to retrieve his obviously now kidnapped phone.

I recognise Cap's voice easily when he speaks, sounding like he's a lot closer to the phone than Blondie. He must be holding the phone out of Blondie's reach. I imagine Blondie straining to grab it and Cap holding him off, probably with very little effort, and have to swallow a bout of laughter.

I hear Cap say to Blondie,

" _No, we don't have time for you to argue with Ever about fire extinguishers and whoever the hell Barney is_."

"Barney is a big purple dinosaur." I tell Cap.

There's a long pause, and then,

" _Is that some kind of mundane slang I don't know about_?"

"Slang for what?" I ask, genuinely curious.

" _I don't know. That's the point._ "

"Yeah, but, hypothetically, what do you think it means?"

" _Like...drugs?_ "

This time I can't stop myself from laughing.

"You think Barney the big purple dinosaur is slang for drugs? Any kind of drug in particular or just drugs in general?"

" _Maybe some purple opium powder? Or pills shaped like dinosaurs. Look, I don't know anything about mundane drug_ _cartels, ok_." Cap huffs.

In the background I hear Blondie say angrily,

" _Oh, but we have time for **this**_. _Sure. Of course_."

"Guys, what is going on?" I ask, getting a bit worried now. I don't think Blondie and Cap would try and trick me into talking to them unless it was important.

" _We think that Clary is in trouble_." Cap say seriously.

Damn it, I knew I shouldn't have let her wander off like a moody red panda.

….

I meet Blondie and Cap outside a large red brick house where Clary might possibly be in danger from a Warlock. The Warlock is supposedly someone Clary found through the Shadowpuppet archive to help bring back our mother. According to Blondie he caught her stealing a lock of hair from our Mom's dead body, and woah she and I are going to be having a serious conversation about that later, but he thought he convinced her not to actually go through with what she had planned. Turns out, he didn't.

I left Simon with Magnus. He'll probably be pissed about that later, but he was asleep on Magnus' sofa with his head in Magnus' lap, so I figured he'd be safe enough. I told Magnus where I was going, but he just waved me off and muttered something about 'not getting involved in any more Shadowhunter bullshit'. I really can't blame him for that. I would stay out of Shadowpuppet business too if I could.

When Cap and Blondie see me they have two completely different reactions. Cap's expression is drawn and wary, but his entire body appears to relax in response to my presence. Blondie's eyes light up when they land on me, but he definitely tenses up like he's expecting me to bitch him out about something.

Maybe I should be pissed about him letting Clary go after he found her trying to make off with our Mom's hair, but I'm the one who didn't look for her when I should have. I can tell myself that I was just giving her some space, but in reality I think I didn't want to deal with being strong for her. I'm so damn tired of having to be strong and not cry or shout or run away. I really don't think I'm built for this new life I've been dropped into.

"Ever." Blondie says, making my name sound like a sigh of relief.

Despite Blondie being the one who seems more genuinely glad to see me, it's Cap who reaches out a hand to gently brush the back of his fingers against my cheek. I close my eyes as the electric pulse of his touch makes the skin beneath his fingers zing with awareness.

I let out an unsteady breath and lean in closer to Cap, tilting my head up to meet his eyes. I lose the ability to breathe or think for while as the deep, dark ocean of his eyes tug me in like the currents of the sea coaxing a paper boat away from the shore. Away from safe harbour and into the unknown.

I gently place a hand over his heart, feeling the steady beat of it like music from a speaker. Cap gasps sharply in response, although it deepens towards the end, becoming more like a growl than a gasp. The bitten off noise vibrates through his chest like the first few rumbles of an earthquake. A warning for future devastation. I close my eyes again, basking in the sensation of having Cap so close.

I'm unable to stop the full body shiver that rocks through me when I suddenly feel a warm puff of air against my temple. It isn't Cap, I know that without having to look. Blondie brushes his surprisingly soft lips along my jaw in the same moment as Cap pushes a few strands of my hair behind my ear. Cap's finger tips dance across the sensitive part of my ear and trail down over my neck.

Blondie puts his hand on my lower back, his hand skating around to my hip and across my stomach, just touching for the sake of touching. He slides his hand under my shirt, his rough fingers against my bare skin. He moves his hand to my back again and presses warm fingers against my spine, pushing me closer to both him and Cap.

I like shit when I remember why we're actually here.

"We need to move." I say, forcing myself to take a step back from both Blondie and Cap and open my eyes.

This is not the time to lose myself to them. No matter how much I want to.

Blondie nods jerkily, looking a bit dazed. Cap just looks kinda of pissed, but that isn't too concerning. I figured he'd be angry at me for running off without talking to him or Blondie.

Right now I have more pressing concerns to worry about. Like my sister trying to raise the dead, like the actual _fuck_.

Cap shakes himself out of it first and says,

"Alright, you and Jace take downstairs, I'll take upstairs. Izzy is in there somewhere as well, so hopefully we'll be able to deal with this shit quickly and go the hell home."

He doesn't wait for a response before heading off by himself. I don't like the idea of him not having any back up, but he clearly want in the mood to argue.

I stare after for a few seconds and say,

"Yep, he's pissed."

Blondie surprises me by saying,

"No. He's upset and doesn't know what to do about it. Same as us. He just handles feeling too much by shutting down. Guess you guys are the same in that way."

I turn back to Blondie to respond, with what I'm not sure, but Blondie is already moving away towards the big house. I squeeze my eyes tightly shut once more, take a few deep breathes, and then go to follow after him.

It doesn't take us long to find Clary, and when we do she's super busy disintegrating a demon with her sunshine powers. Like a fucking my little pony character.

Clary stands there gaping at us when the black creepy fucker of a demon is gone.

"How the hell did you do that?" I ask her, disbelieving. Blondie looks just as weirded out next to me.

"I saw a vision of a rune and I drew it on my hand." Clary says, holding out her hand to us.

"Well of course you did." I say sarcastically and re-sheath Tony.

I go over to Clary fold her into a tight embrace. Then I whack her on the arm. Hard. She yelps and glares at me. I glare back at her.

Clary rubs her injured arm and snaps,

"What was that for?"

"What was that for?" I ask mockingly. "Oh, I don't know. How about stealing hair from our mother's corpse and taking it to an evil Witch so that she could turn our Mom into a zombie. Let's start with that and work our way down the list. After that we can talk about you drawing a rune on yourself when you had no idea what it could do to you."

"The rune worked." Clary argues indignantly.

"You're an idiot." I growl at her.

I am not liking the role-reversal thing we have going on right now. It should be Clary being all mad and calling me an irresponsible idiot.

"You don't understand-"

"I do!" I shout at her, unable to hold myself back any longer. "I do understand, Clary. I know that you and Mom were closer, but she was my Mom too. I loved her. I loved her and she was my Mom too."

My voice cracks on the last few words and hot tears burn my eyes, making the dungeon-room go blurry. A sob rackets through me and I choke on it.

Clary anger melts into guilt and her expression becomes pained. She reaches out a hand to touch my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Ever." She says, sounding on the brink of tears herself. "I'm really sorry."

I let Clary pull me into another hug, this one lasting far longer than the first. I can feel Jace watching us and I pull away from Clary slightly to look at him. Suddenly feeling awful. Because Jocelyn was Jace's Mom too. Even though that thought is agonising in its own way, I should have been there for him. I shouldn't have run away from him and Alec. It was a horrible thing to do.

I reach out a hand, inviting Jace to join me and Clary. He looks reluctant, but he comes when Clary holds her hand out to him too. We loop our arms around each other and huddle together in a tight circle of confusion and grief.

I grip onto both Jace and Clary. As hard as it is, and as fucked up as it is, the three of us are family. Blood family. And I can't stand the thought of losing either of them. I make a silent promise to myself to be better for them, and for myself, so that we have a chance of making it through all this. Not just losing our Mom, but Valentine's continued existence in our lives as well. Because I know deep in my bones that our father isn't done with us yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone for reading! Please comment! xx

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Please comment and let me know what you think so far! xxx


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